What Women Know

Earlier this week, a friend and I had what might qualify as an exchange of serendipity. She (Amy) wrote a blog post about change on a day that I was frustrated with the amount of change and particularly the pace of change in the technology that surrounds me and with which I make my living. Hers was such a simple message, but it reminded me of why I love what I do. It reminded me that I love a changing environment and that I would be bored to tears in a job that never changed. image

If you’re wondering about the growing disconnect between what I’ve written so far and the title, hang on.

The other half of the serendipity exchange came after a few comments on Amy’s blog. I started off with a small bit of encouragement in a comment that I left for her. I know how comments, even short ones can mean a lot to a blogger but I didn’t want to go into the reason her post had helped me. Amy responded, thanking me for the support, I responded, Amy responded (you can read the comments if you’re interested) and it seems that my comment helped her discover something that she wasn’t looking for. Serendipity exchanged…but wait, there’s more.

Amy mentioned that sometimes, she doesn’t know why she’s posting something, but she “just knows” that it’s the right thing to post.

She just knows.

She just knows?

She. Just. Knows!

Ugh, I hate that.

Of course I don’t really hate that, but it’s frustrating when women just know stuff. Don’t start in on me – I’m not being all sexist and stuff here. I’m just speaking from experience. My experience, in which most men want to figure things out, want to know the reason, want to work through the logical path from A to B to C and so forth into the upper reaches of the alphabet if necessary while many women in my life just know stuff.

Way back in the ‘80s, I had a 1977 Dodge pickup truck that was losing antifreeze. There was never a spot on the ground, or at least not one I could pick out and identify as antifreeze. The truck wasn’t overheating (until the level of antifreeze in the radiator was too low) and there were no signs of antifreeze in the engine compartment. The hoses were new, added when the water pump had recently been replaced. Suspecting a leaking head gasket, I changed and carefully inspected the oil. No signs of antifreeze. Frustrated, I stood there looking at the engine for what I might be missing. My wife walked up and quipped “maybe there’s a pinhole in one of the hoses.”

I think my response was:

Yeah that must be it, a piiiin hole in the hose, cuz that happens.” Although maybe the last few words were merely in my head.

You all know how this ends; there was a pin hole in one of the brand new radiator hoses. I didn’t discover that fact for several weeks, and I have yet to live that experience down.

I have also yet to learn how to just trust my wife’s intuition. Actually, I mentioned that in an earlier post. Amy and I also had a comment exchange after that post, which ended with her saying:

“…When are you guys just going to get it that women are “wired” differently and that our “hunches” are usually (99.9999999%) right?

Note: ‘guys’ is plural because Amy and her husband have been married almost as long as my wife and I have been (a long time) and, apparently, he doesn’t get it either.

But, from my point of view, there’s nothing to “get” – you can’t just know stuff. Still, the number of times that my wife has suggested the right cause for a problem or the best course of action in a situation (a situation where, I might add, she has no earthly qualification to suggest such reason or approach) is – a – large – number.

Earlier this year, a couple of women in our imageoffice suggested that the garbage disposal was making a funny sound. “Making a funny sound” is a signature statement of a woman who just knows something. “The thing is grinding garbage, what kind of sound do you expect it to make?

I turned the disposal imageon. I listened. I tossed a few ice cubes in and listened. It sounded fine to me. Still, I was so haunted by the number of times my wife has said: “Do you hear that?” “Did you hear that?” or “My car is making a funny sound” that I almost just had the disposal replaced.

Almost.

This morning, I mentioned to my wife that I have to deal with the building manager to try and find a plumber to replace our garbage disposal. Because I don’t hide much from my wife (because she will find out eventually) I told her about the earlier “warning” I had received from the women in the office.

Why didn’t you listen to them?

Because, the new one comes out of my budget, and I can’t just go spending money without a good reason.”

OK, I get it. I had a good reason. They just knew.

39 thoughts on “What Women Know

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  1. OH. MY. GOSH. I am laughing so hard, Dan, it is just SO funny. I am laughing as I write this. I really am going to have my HUSBAND read this, though it probably won’t do any good to do so. Yes, women KNOW and I am so glad you are married to one who doesn’t hesitate in vocalizing that knowing. Why? Because our society on the whole has discouraged woman to rely on their “hunches” or “intuition” because there is no logic or a list of credentials that go along with them. Way to go, Mrs. Dan. Don’t stop saying what you KNOW. Perhaps in another 20 or so more years, your husband will finally just believe you. Hehehehehehehe (((HUGS))) Amy

    Liked by 2 people

    1. In fairness to me, I do try to consider how what she knows could be the case. I do have to give credit where credit is due – she does just know stuff. Thanks for the comment Amy and the comment that helped me finish an old draft.

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      1. LOL Hubs started dictating to me what to tell you. I said forget it. Short version …. he had a pick up as you did with the same problem, two, LadyP is his wife (DUH!), and she knows which drives him nuts! So every time your wife says something when SHE knows, think of my hubs. You will laugh!!! (((HUGS))) Amy

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    1. Thanks. You too? I’m not going to get much sympathy on this one. The disposal has been replaced. List price. Two days without water in the kitchen, which is directly across from my office.

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  2. Women just know,
    Thus men should just go
    With the flow.

    I’m gonna have to check Amy out. Sounds like a wise woman.

    Great post – love your deprecating humor. Don’t men and women make a great topic ?

    What is it with all the “change” posts lately? Have seen “change” topics on other blogs and have a “change” post of my own written and scheduled for Friday. Must be the seasonal flux, eh?

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  3. LOL! This is so timely! I’ve been out of town for 3 days and got home ran to the bathroom, and told He-man the commode is making a funny noise.. He’s learned that there’s usually something going on if I hear something funny. He opened up the Commode and found a gasket broken. At 8:30PM he left for the hardware store hoping to get a replacement. If not we’re down to one Commode ..not good!

    Yep, we just know stuff. :)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my goodness, don’t make me admit the number of times my wife has heard something in those devices. Many repairs made over the course of time, 100% necessary and 99% inspired by her comments. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Since I am a woman I know ‘stuff’ but I didn’t know Amy, so I visited her on her blog and I agree that her short post about Change is beautiful and uplifting.
    Of course, I can only agree that women are very special. Seriously, I think that although we are often described as irrational, we are in fact very much in tune with reality. It can explain why we seem to know stuff sooner than men. Also most women don’t have the desire to be right all the time, so it can also explain why women aren’t afraid to express different ideas or suggest new solutions to a problem.
    I don’t know exactly the reason behind all this. I just know.
    Great stuff in this post, Dan. No kidding.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Evelyne. Your explanation appeals to me, it’s like you’re explaining the impossible. Maybe writing this and reading the comments and listening closer to my wife will help me to eventually get it. I do marvel at the number of times she is right. Women are special, and they are different, and those are good things. Thanks, for taking the time here, and thanks for visiting Amy’s place. Reading blogs, and comments and visiting those people has helped me find a thread of great people to follow, so I try to point them out when they fit the story.

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  5. Sorry to throw a monkey wrench into your ( mostly right on ) theory , but when it comes to directions , reading maps , etc. …………forget it ! When my wife suggests a right turn I go left and that is usually the correct way .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Not a monkey wrench Dan, a bit of support. If you look at the comments, they are running heavily in my wife’s favor :) Thanks. My wife and I both have issues with directions, but we’re good natured about it so it rarely causes a problem.

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  6. Recently, while traveling to work, I turned on the radio, and two presenters were discussing the contemporary hook-up culture, where young people just meet with complete strangers for one-time sexual encounter, etc. One caller remarked that when she was young, a girl would take her boyfriend home and her mother would quickly size him up and give judgment forthwith. Something like: “He’s lying to you” or “He’s a good man” etc. And whatever the mothers said would always come to pass. The conclusion was that mothers know things. They just know.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. My wife has been a very good judge of people I have chosen to make friends with. She has pointed out the ones who are good for me and the ones who were not. I waited until I was sure, in all cases, but in all cases, she was correct.

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  7. This one is really funny and I was smiling all the way to the end. Well, I’ve always given Sarah a fair opportunity to speak her mind and I believe she knows some aspects of the situation that I don’t see it at all. In fact, my travel blog was her idea and she guides me and protects me in many different ways, every single day.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s interesting that you point out a blog connection Sharukh. One area where I always give my wife veto power is this blog. I have posts that I have written, edited, adorned with photos that she has read and said “I don’t think you want to post this.” I either abandon the idea or edit the heck out of it and try again. I don’t want to offend readers. I don’t want to sound “like that kind of guy” and I don’t want to give the wrong impression. She absolutely just knows when I’m about to do that. Thanks for the comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. You are just right. I’m not only happily maried to a women that has that kind of intuition, but also happen to work in a place in which women have always been the overwhelming majority (I will not judge whether they are gorgeous, or elegant, or whatever adjective could be scrutinized as sexist, but rather that I would be able to stand life with most of them in a desert island, meaning by that they are intelligent and stimulating persons you can have a decent interaction with); when you go beyond the certainty that your wife can be saying an intuitive yet right solution for a complex problem, and reach a point in which several feminine intuitions are set to converge on a problem, then you are sometimes in for a storm, as they are not always really converging (admittedly, if individual accuracy is 99,99%, group accuracy is probably 90%, still quite overwhelming for us men)… but having collective intuition is probably harder (they all just know, but sometimes I wonder if they just know the same thing) . Conversely, if convergence happens, you’re really set to accept the results… . Anyway, one of your best posts (so far), Dan.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for that comment. While I often fail to pick up on the intuition, I have followed my wife’s ideas and I always seek her input on projects and even my writing. She has a clear and quick sense of topics I should stay away from. She has talked me out of posting some things I’ve written because they portray me in a different light than the one she knows. I like the notion of convergence. I don’t think I’ve ever thought of collaboration in that sense, and I think it’s a very good way to think of it. Thanks again.

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  9. This dialogue after your written post, was very entertaining. I am a woman who may not always know anything. I definitely don’t ‘get’ men, but am very close to my two brothers, who value my opinion. I was so close to my Dad, who I loved and respected deeply. I find the whole thing about men and women conflicting, I have met very empathetic men who did ‘know’ things, while I have met very unknowing women. Dan, I have to blame the planets, the whole venus and mars thing, but there are many exceptions to both worlds! Smiles!

    Liked by 1 person

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