Worst Worser Worstest

socs-badge.jpgAs part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday, my goal here will be to not share too much information and that’s going to be a good thing.

According to the dictionary folks, “worst” is the superlative of “bad” – yeah, I get that. Worst might be badder than bad, but there are things that are worse than worst. Contrary to the definition below, worst is not the most unpleasant thing that can happen.

WorstI spent this past week in Washington, DC. I was there on business, and the business all went well. Unfortunately, I was sick. Being sick is the worst. Being sick while traveling is worse than the worst. It has to be worser because worst isn’t bad enough. I hate being sick, but usually when I’m sick, the people, animals and things in my life come to the rescue.

I am fortunate to work for an employer who offers sick time. That means I get paid as if I was at work, even though I am home sick. I mention that because a lot of people do not enjoy that benefit and I think that’s sad. I don’t think anyone should have to go to work when they’re sick, and if I hadn’t always thought that, I would after this past week.

I did have to go to work while sick. Granted, some of you might not consider sitting on my butt in a meeting to be much in the way of work, but meeting-working-lunch-reception-dinner running from 8:00 am to 10:00 pm – yeah, that’s work. When you feel as if you are going to throw-up at any minute, it’s scary work. I was scoping out the bathroom locations like the men on those “gotta go, gotta go” commercials.

The scariest location was the home of Monday night’s dinner. We were in a private room in a popular restaurant. A restaurant with unisex bathrooms. Unisex bathrooms are a dumb idea. Have a couple nice cozy rooms for the women, but men can be much more productive in a mass-production setting. Unisex means, men suffer in the line with the women. Maybe a woman designed that as payback. I needed to be in a place where there would not be a line between me and a receptacle. After one bite of lettuce, I realized that I had to leave dinner for the relative comfort of my hotel room.

Relative comfort indeed.

Hotel rooms are comfortable, but – not – when – you – are –sick.

None of the things you need are there. Where’s my can of Adirondack Ginger Ale? Where’s my heavy ceramic tea mug. Where are my wife and my dog? Where – is – my – bed? Clothes? I don’t have enough clothes to be sweating stuff up at a fever pitch (pun intended). I have precisely one shirt for each day. I have to wear that thing from breakfast through dinner. I have one pair of jammies, and yes, I revert to jammies when I am sick. I can get these laundered, but yikes, that’s expensive.

My colleagues were concerned and very understanding. Still, I had made a commitment to be in these meetings and they weren’t going to be postponed. My company had paid a lot to send me to DC and I don’t think they wanted me to camp out in a hotel room, even a Courtyard. Alka-Seltzer Cold medicine and ginger ale would have to carry me through. Luckily, I discovered Adirondack Seltzer in the cooler at the meeting. That brought me a little closer to home.

If you haven’t guessed, I am not a happy camper when sick. I’m not a good patient. I want to take a pill and be cured instantly and during that instant, I want to be pampered, hugged and I want someone standing near me saying everything will be OK. I don’t want to be discovered by the maid lying in between sweat-soaked sheets on the day I am supposed to check out of a hotel. I imagine some thug like Paul Drake from Perry Mason – OK, how badly did I date myself? – tossin’ me and my bags into the gutter.

MuMu thinks if you’re bothering her it better be because you’re going brush her.

Actually, I love Marriott properties and I think the people would be helpful if necessary, I just don’t want to find out. I know my wife is helpful. I know my bed is comfy. I know my dog likes to lay down next to me and use me as a pillow. I know MuMu will still bite my hand and want to be scratched because it doesn’t matter how sick I am, MuMu is itchy.

The week dragged on but it was mostly uneventful, biologically speaking, at least in public – I sense the information border police approaching – ’nuff said.

The worst day was Monday and this is why I know that there have to be words worse that worst. Things were already pretty worse than worst when I had to leave the restaurant with the line to the bathroom and the ptomaine inducing lettuce. But, things got much more worse. I walked back to my hotel during a lull between torential downpours. I snagged a couple of bottles of ginger ale and I settled in for a nice quiet night. Much more quiet that I thought it would be. The storm had knocked out the satellite reception.

No Signal
I was hoping for a baseball game.

62 thoughts on “Worst Worser Worstest

Add yours

  1. But, how about us who like the hat? LOL Head covered, head uncovered, the wit and words are the reason why we all tune in. :-) I couldn’t hit ‘like’ because as they use to say ‘you were sick as a dog.’ Here’s hoping you’re feeling better after getting back home to the safe zone.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I have one with me wearing a parka with the hood up. I kinda look like the unabomber but less face, if that works for you. apparently all it takes is for someone to say “Ooh, I like that” – I am home and feeling much better today. Thanks Judy.


  2. I have had to do your sick performance many times. Once I had pneumonia and could not lay flat in the bed and was nine hours away by plane. I’m glad the Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold Medicine helped. I used to work for Bayer AG. I like whatever you write no matter how you look.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. OH I do not care for unisex bathrooms. No no no.
    I’m so sorry you were traveling and working with the sick. Awful. I did laugh tho, I hope you don’t mind — at MuMu and people eating bacon burritos — Oh man, those were funny words!
    Are you better now? Have wife, pets, jammies and ginger ale?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. I am feeling better and I have all those things (and MuMu who wants to be brushed). You have to keep a sense of humor when things go off the rails. It’s funny, we don’t even have unisex bathrooms at home – we have a master bath (we both shower, but I use for other stuff) and we have a half bath which is kinda like the “ladies room” around here.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for commenting Norm. I know lots of business people have experienced this. I’ve actually ad times when I was too sick to leave the hotel. I’m home and feeling much more better now.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I so don’t do sick well–me or other people. We always laugh about the fact that my kids never (well, hardly ever) got sick. My husband? He would not dare! :) Other than that, I am just your usual sweet, adorable person. :D

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh to be sick and away from home is the WORST! I’ve been sick all week as well, but thankfully I was at home with my He-Man, and my dog. He-Man ever my Hero brought me toast, hot tea, and ran to the drug store for me, and let me know I was loved.

    The Mom that I am loved reading you revert to calling your pj’s jammies when sick. That was adorable! Glad you’re feeling much better!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Deborah. I recall reading in your post that you had been sick. Having people around really makes such a difference. And yes, jammies. I also really wanted my fuzzy slippers, but at least I had packed some thick short sports socks. I hope you are also well on the mend.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. You poor thing. ‘Worst’ definitely doen’t cover it when staying home isn’t an option. And after it’s all over you look back and think you spent that week in the Twilight Zone or the House of Horrors.

    And there we were bitchin” on you about your leaf blower. Here’s a certificate for 10 minutes of guilt-free leaf blowing.

    Hope you get extra cuddles this weekend from your homies 🍪

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ooooh, I’m gonna go fire that puppy up right now. Actually, my neighbor behind me is working evenings and doesn’t get home until well after midnight. I’ll print this comment and hang it on the fridge :)

      I am feeling much better and I’ve got my support system by my side, and, yes, I’m going to brush MuMU.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. So sorry Dan… Being sick really is the worst. Being sick and alone is terrifying.
    I’m happy (relieved) to have enough sick leave now. But once upon a time, I didn’t. I put off getting medical are and ended up with pneumonia. Used my week of sick time. My boss demanded that i come back. (May that one get what she so richly deserved.) Then the entire “team” freaked out because i was so sick, and she demanded a release from my doctor, and would not accept a faxed release. Meanwhile, that first visit took an hour for me to get to the doctor, because his staff neglected to mention he had moved out of town (just that he moved)… and *she* wanted me to drive back, with pneumonia, to get a release? I made her accept the fax.

    But i’m sorry to hear about your dreadful trip, and glad you are getting better. Hope you can enjoy the weekend. :)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Dan, I hit the like button … I hope you know it was a sympathetic like, an appreciative I can relate to this like, in other words anything other than liking the fact that you were sick and a long way from home. Some days are just the worstest! And I do like your new avatar.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. How my Heart really went you to you, Dan. I KNOW what it is like to not be feeling good and MUST work. Taking care of the special cats I do, I do not have the luxury to take time off to stay in bed. You talk about crawling (just about) when having to be out of bed. I hope you are feeling better now. There is NO place like home when you are feeling ill. Even when you must work. Great post, Dan. BIG (((HUGS))) Amy <3

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Being sick and going to work brings an awful feeling. I have done that so many times because I don’t normally get an off, but these days I don’t really care. Pay or don’t pay I don’t go to work considering that I have to travel in a crowded train for hours, then take a 20 minute walk to reach my office. However, if its urgent I always keep a peppy music on my smartphone and that keeps me feel better and divert my attention.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was actually on a series of (what we in the US consider) crowded trains Sharukh. Nothing compared to your trains, but crowded enough to have me standing just inside the doors.


  11. My, oh my! How do you manage to infuse such humor in a post about being sick? Unisex bathrooms? That’s not good at all, especially when you’re sick.I’m glad you got your ginger ale. Sorry about you having to be in meetings while you were sick. I like the new photo!

    Like you, I have paid sick days. My sick days roll over. I’m fortunate.
    Have a better week!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I am sorry you were sick. After I needed meds to sleep, I got the flu and confused fever/nausea interrupted sleep with signs of more troubled sleep which induced anxiety and made the whole illness thing worse than worst. Afterward, I realized my mistake and shook my head, wondering if I would ever stop being my own worst enemy! I had lost the ability to read my own body. Sucky!

    I hope you are better, home and enjoying the comforts of home.


    Liked by 1 person

  13. A friend of mine used to say that “good–better–best” describe a certain state of things, depending on who is actually speaking, his/her experience, and what is happening. He said that after some point, an event can be so delightful (best) that “good” and “better” can no longer describe it correctly. Henceforth, we can say “best-bester-bestest”. I used to laugh at him, but these days I think he had a point.
    And in 2000, our Grammar teacher set in an exam a question which went like this: Use the correct form of the adjectives in brackets to complete the sentences.
    One of the sentences had “good” in bracket followed by “than”, as in “His composition is (good) . . . than blah blah blah.”
    Now, when the results came back, I saw that my desk-mate had written “gooder”!! Oh, man! I was much younger then, and I laughed like hell. I laughed until he became furious. I just couldn’t stop.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Dan, ginger ale was my Dad’s favorite solution while for some reason Mom got us started on black pekoe tea with loads of sugar and sometimes Coke. Once, only one did I hear her say that while sick, you need energy to pull you through.
    I remember your cat and I have been following you for ages. Now, I need to go way back and figure out when I started not commenting. I guess it is like when you run into an old friend and you ponder on why you drifted off. Glad you survived the worst possible things. Sick. Business trip. Unisex bathroom facilities and no cable connection. Probably no book either!


Add your thoughts or join the discussion. One relevant link is OK, more require moderation. Markdown is supported.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: