If We Were Having a Beer – Apple

For the love of beer
The perfect place and beverage to share some casual conversation.

“Hey guys, we have something new on tap today, Angry Orchard Crisp Apple.”

“Thanks Cheryl, I’ll have a Yuengling.”

“Yeah, as good as that sounds, I’ll have a glass of…”

“Meomi. You guys are changeless. You might want to mix it up now and then.”

“We prefer reliable.”

“My young friend makes a good point Cheryl. There’s nothing wrong with reliability.”

“I guess…sigh.”

“Speaking of apples though, I’m trying to decide if Apple should hack that phone for the FBI. You’re a tech-guy, what do you think?”

“Wait. You’re trying to decide? Who put you in charge?”

“I’m just trying to decide for myself. I doubt my conclusion will have any bearing on the actual outcome.”

“Well, neither will mine, but I don’t think Apple should comply.”

“Why not? I mean this guy was a terrorist.”

“I get that. I’m really not concerned with his privacy, especially since he’s dead. I’m concerned with mine though, and there are some things about this that concern me.”

“I’m going to regret this, but what are your concerns?”

“First off, what are the chances that the federal judge who ordered Apple to assist the FBI, actually understood what he was doing?”

“Probably low, but I think he understood that this action would only apply to this phone.”

“Do you really think that’s true?”

“From what I understand, yes. The FBI is asking for specific code to be used in accessing this phone and they are even going to let Apple control the process.”

“Sure, but then there’s a judgment on record, and Apple complied, so that can be used in the future, right? It sets a precedent, doesn’t it?”

“I’m a financial advisor, not a lawyer, but I think maybe you watch too much television. I don’t think precedents work like that. They aren’t magic bullets.”

“Maybe, but that’s not my only concern. What happens when they get access to the phone? Where do they go from there? What if that guy was one of your clients? Do you want to be explaining your investment decisions to the FBI?”

“I wouldn’t have a problem with that.”

“What if they asked for your phone?

“I’d give it to them. What do I care if the FBI has my phone?”

“Let me see your phone.”

“Uh, no. I said the FBI could have my phone but I’m not giving it to you.”

“What if I buy the next round?”

“Here, knock yourself out. Cheryl, another round on Mr. Erskine’s tab.”

“Who?”

“Inspector Lewis Erskine of the FBI. A part in a 60s TV show played by Efrem Zimbalist, Jr.

“That was a great show. But you have to wonder, having gone through life with the name Efrem, why would you give than name to your kid?”

“And, why bother to invent Lewis Erskine? Why not just call him Inspector Zimbalist? What’s the point?”

“Remember Hawaii Five-0? The character Kono was played by the actor Zulu – I never understood that.”

“Speaking of Hawaii Five-0, Danno, why do you want my phone?”

“I want to see what you’d be giving to the FBI. You have 1Password on here. That has your username and password for every website you use on a regular basis. Credit card numbers, purchase history, what you read, all the places you store files, you name it. I mean, if an alien found this phone, he could be you.”

“All stuff they could get anyway.”

“Your contacts are on here too, so this won’t stop with you.”

“Are you worried that they will go from a client of mine to me and then to you?”

“Six degrees of separation. Remember, I know someone who knows the Pope.”

“What makes you think they don’t already know about you? Maybe they followed me to this bar. Maybe that guy over there is an FBI agent. If they want to know something, they’re going to find out. With or without Apple’s help, Apple could just help them find it faster, which, in the case of a terrorist, might make a difference. Besides, as you pointed out, the guy’s dead.”

“You guys. Give it a rest. It’s Saturday. You came here to relax…remember? Maybe some food will take your mind off the news. We have some pretty nice specials today, including our Supreme Seafood Bake.”

“Speaking of Supreme, do you think Obama should put up a nomination for the court?”

“Cheryl, can I get some wings to-go, and the check please?”

60 thoughts on “If We Were Having a Beer – Apple

Add yours

  1. 6 degrees of separation. I used to work with John Major, who became the Prime Minister of the UK. I have 2 degrees between me and Margaret Thatcher and thus 3 degrees to Ronald Reagan, Mikhail Gorbachov and so on. Mind you, as John Major doesn’t remember me, none of this is worth a penny!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You must not have anything else to do today after opening up a Saturday with this essay! First, this never should have been a “public” issue. Effective leadership wold have handled this behind the scenes and would have accomplished what needed to be done. I worked in the USAF Intelligence in the early 60’s – we had computers when nobody knew what computers were. I know what we were capable of doing then, and we have a lot more capability and technology today that could be used, should be used, and silently used to extract the data off that phone.

    As for the Supreme Court, we have another leadership failure. A failure to communicate between our two leading parties. A failure to communicate between the House and the Senate. A failure to communicate between our three branches of Government. Just because situations were abused in the past, it does not mean we should retaliate with immoral or illegal behavior once again. The Constitution is very clear, let the President nominate whoever he wants to nominate. The Senate Judiciary Committee can then hold hearings. If suited for the highest court in the land, let the SJC send the nomination to the full Senate for a vote. It’s actually quite simple – I don’t know why the people in Washington think everything they do is about “them” and not the people they serve.

    Time for a second cup of coffee before I really say something that would make you spill your beer!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I love it when you chime in Bob. These conversations happen, I can’t predict what the topic will be but it’s always interesting to have the (some) discussion. Thanks for the comment and thanks for not causing me to spill my beer.

      Like

  3. I agree with Bob. Let the President nominate a Supreme Court Justice. The Republicans would do the same if the shoe was on the other foot.

    As for the iPhone, I’m not sure how I feel about that situation. I may need a strong cup of coffee to ponder an opinion.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. This issue is complex and reminds me of the old barn door thing – once it is open and the horses are out you can’t close it. I am all for finding every single terrorist and holding them accountable. However, does anyone think this back door could be accomplished without someone taking a cell phone video of it and selling it or posting it? Any day the FBI wants to look at my phone come ahead, it would put them to sleep looking at photos of flowers. Also, the government has business to conduct, so conduct it. Now, I need a beer, and I just finished my coffee. :-)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m with Apple. I had to READ a lot to make that decision, even an article from the *gasp* CATO Institute (I am a leftie) and even they seemed to be saying the demand has greater implications than the media is laying out for us, and not just about getting associates. So for those of you who want a leftie view and a rightie view on this (and save you the amazing number of stupid repetitive sources in between who didn’t say much more than Yahoo news did) here they are:
    Leftie: https://theintercept.com/2016/02/26/eight-memorable-passages-from-apples-fiery-response-to-the-fbi/
    Rightie: http://www.cato.org/publications/commentary/real-reason-apple-fighting-fbi
    At least if i am going to join in with a stout I will offer both sides and show they seem to be coming close to the same side of the coin. Which is more than I can say about Congress.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This phone thing WOULD set a precedent, and I am against it. I certainly don’t have anything to hide, per se, and I’d hand my phone to most anyone, but that’s of my own volition, with trust. I give my phone to my kids on the regular. Savvy smartphone users are wise not to swipe through photos…
    I do not have password and wallet features on my phone, so it’s not a security concern for me.

    Oh I cannot talk about the POTUS and the SCOTUS without being a raging liberal. So sorry. Best you shove some supreme seafood bake in my mouth to stop me. ;)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Apple beer? Hmm. Sounds worth a try. Yes, the president should nominate a justice; he’s the president. That’s what presidents do :-) And I like that Apple is standing up. It’s a slippery, slippery slope and human beings never seem to know when to stop sliding! :-)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. As always this is only an issue due to “human behavior” at its worst which includes corruption, deceit, manipulation and foul play. In a balanced society it would be understood that this process applies to ONLY this phone in ONLY this case and ONLY with regard to its implications in the crimes committed. But….no, no, no, these are people we are dealing with; and we all know that means rules, regulations, precidents and configurations must be applied to uphold, protect, predict, conoiter and defend any and all intents, purposes and back door applications from a year before the incident until the end of time of our children’s children’s children….well, I hope you get my drift. I loathe Apple and I love Apple. But, hey, most good love affairs are made up of such diverse emotions. Now I need a beer. Followed by a cup of coffee. I have a dragon to deal with later on Dan…😉 Can I have the rest of the night off? Lol

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I just knew knew knew when I saw the title of this post APPLE would be more then beer. Seems these days no one, and I mean no one, can get along, or agree, due to this reason, and that rule, and other over there regulation, and gee, nothing is working anymore so let’s throw some more gas on the fire that is blazing already! Just open the phone and get it over with! I’m sure the FBI has the technology to do it, so why all this fuss and buzz about APPLE is beyond me. You are not getting an opinion out of me because like you, I am sitting on the fence with this one. I really don’t know, because knowing this sick society we live in, either decision, nay or yay will have dire ramifications somehow. These are volitile times we live in with so many ready to bring out the clubs to start beating each other with. Honestly! When will people learn to start getting along? As for other topics, I am NOT going there. ;) Very cool post, Dan. I can just imagine your stats today with the word APPLE in your title and tags. :)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Amy. I was worried that no one would say nothin today. I rarely go this route but the bar stories are based on conversations, so…and I try to avoid sports.

      I appreciate the comment. I think most people would prefer these issues never rise to the national stage but that would require having adults in charge.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh my, your thoughts seriously reflect mine. The minefields that “children” are playing with. And who is tending to these children? NO ONE. That’s the problem right there. No one to keep them accountable. *sigh* It’s gotten ridiculous!

        Liked by 1 person

  10. “Uh, no. I said the FBI could have my phone but I’m not giving it to you.”

    My favorite line. I had to laugh. I’m reminded of things we would rather have strangers look but not our friends. Cellphones being one of them. Etc. I wouldn’t mind if a total stranger sneaked to my computer and read the manuscript I am currently working on. If anyone I know does, I’ll hold it against them for a very long time. It has happened before in 2005 when my high school grammar teacher and a friend of mine sneaked to my computer and read the manuscript I was then working on. He remarked about it later on, asking me about some characters and my language of choice. I became incensed and I hated him.

    Anyway, I have also heard about the FBI-Apple conflict on BBC. I like the concept of precedence which you have mentioned. I thought once that sometimes people just need to know if anyone else has done something. They get inspired and then go right ahead and repeat it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am glad you mentioned the difference between strangers and friends with respect to caring about them knowing/seeing information, Peter. I gave that reaction to the other character, but it’s actually a trait of mine. I though maybe I was weird.

      I’ve heard arguments stating that this is so narrowly defined that it wouldn’t set a precedent, but the fact that it could be argued to a judge means that the judge could agree. At least that’s how I see it.

      Like

  11. I’ve tried an Apple Beer once a couple of years ago. I didn’t care for it. As for Apple and the FBI I’m siding with Apple and hope they win. The FBI has that guys computer, and I’m sure they can find out who he was associating with without hacking the phone. If the FBI wins they’ll be searching anyone’s records they want to without a warrant no doubt, and there goes a little more of our right to privacy and freedom of association. It’s a slippery slope alright.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The only non-beer beer I enjoy is Mike’s Hard Lemonade. The problem for me is that it goes down too easy. I can drink three of those without thinking. I don’t buy it often, usually at home during the summer.

      The FBI or the NSA still likely have access to what we do with our phones while we’re it. Also, I strikes me that most phones are backed up. Why don’t they ask for a recent backup?

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Do you really think that the powers that be in this country don’t already have access to anything and everything in our lives? The only kind of privacy we have as individuals is what we keep strictly to ourselves, not even telling our loved ones. Even then, somethings are being leaked out by our movements. With this said however, how much do the powers that be care about what we do in our daily lives? I have no doubts that we’re quite boring most of the time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You ask a fair question and make a good point. By extension, though, what if, once all this stuff is in place, it’s hacked by people who aren’t in the large arena of law enforcement? What if ordinary nefarious people are able to gain access to that otherwise boring information. I’m not saying it;s going to happen, but we don’t think enough about digital security in our daily lives.

      Like

      1. True, most people sail through cyber space punching in their personal information, including credit card numbers without giving one thought to who else can access their stuff, all because they needed to buy that item this second and couldn’t wait to go physically to a store. Even if buying online may be the way to go, are these people being cautious enough? Of course not. They’re way too busy to pay that kind of attention to anything on or off the internet.

        Cynical? Not really. I just marvel at the chosen stupidity people exhibited.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. We try to be careful but it’s actually hard to imagine something that couldn’t happen once that information is out there. I’m sure they will figure this out at some point but they are very far away right now.

          Like

  13. I drink hard cider and like a small home grown local brand called Mad Moon. I enjoy Angry Orchard hard apple cider. I would not persuade you away from your Yuengling, though! :)
    I agree with Apple refusing to invent the technology to open up a terrorist phone. Once this happens, it will be like dominoes with one tipping over until a landslide of information is not considered protected. Already hackers have the ability to get into private areas. Once Apple would get a team of experts to create an Intel product to invade, it is possibly “open,” due to one loose cannon, to “bad” hackers. I just don’t think the average person can see how easily things can be taken over. CSI Cyber displays far too many ways already used. . . Hope you enjoyed a beautiful weather walk with dog or Faith, Dan. :)

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I’d like to comment, but I always lose track of who’s supposedly saying what before I even get halfway through these “If we were having a beer” posts. (Sorry — I know you work hard on these!) So I’ll simply say … cheers!

    Liked by 1 person

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