Nice Guys Finish…

For the love of beer
The perfect place and beverage to share some casual conversation.

If we were having a beer, you would start with a confession.

“I left my wallet at home. Would you mind paying for everything today?”

“I can do that, no problem.”

“Thanks, you’re a nice guy.”

“Sigh…”

“What, what’s wrong with being a nice guy? You know I’ll get this next week, right.”

“No, it’s not that. I was recently picked on for being a nice guy.”

“By whom? Who doesn’t like nice guys?”

“Business people, apparently.”

“You know what would be nice? It would be nice if you guys ordered something. It would be even nicer if you left me a hefty tip, but I won’t push my luck.”

Corona
Hey, the lime adds vitamin-C, so it’s good for me, too.

“Sorry, Cheryl, how about a glass of wine for my impoverished friend and a Corona for me.”

“Since when are you drinking Corona?”

“I’ve been sick. I drink Corona when I want something lighter. Besides. Drinking Corona always makes me think of my sister-in-law, and I like remembering her.”

“Ok, drinks are ordered, so let’s get back to why you don’t want to be a nice guy.”

“I didn’t say that. Besides, it’s not like I have a choice, I AM a nice guy.”

“You are, geeze, that point’s established. What’s wrong with being a nice guy, that’s the issue at hand.”

“I don’t know. I know that I’ve been taken advantage of, at times, but it’s a small price to pay.”

“Well then, who are these people that were picking on you?”

“Some members of a business association I belong to.”

“Sales people? ‘cuz you don’t want to be a nice guy if you’re in sales.”

“I like sales people who are nice guys.”

“So, in addition to being a nice guy, you’re naïve.”

“I’ve been called that before, too. I don’t necessarily agree with that though. Why do you say I’m naive?”

“For your information, you like sales people who appear to be nice guys. They aren’t really, or they aren’t successful sales people. Trust me, I sell services to people all the time and I’m not a nice guy.”

“Are you a good human being?”

“Well, yeah… Why would you ask that?”

“The woman who accused me of being a nice guy said that there’s a difference between being a nice guy and a good human being.”

“…and a good human being is better?”

“Apparently. She mentioned that her husband is a good human being, but she sounded grateful when she added that he isn’t a nice guy.”

“Did she offer an example? I mean is there a test?”

“Actually several people offered examples, not to mention a few theories as to why you want to avoid being a nice guy.”

“OK, look, I’m sure you found that all fascinating, but could you boil it down to something succinct. Remember, I’m not a nice guy; I’m totally comfortable telling you that you treat every question likes it’s on an essay test.”

“OK, ok. She said that a nice guy will help an old lady across the street, but a good human being would look at the woman first and consider whether or not she needed help.”

“How does that work? I mean it’s not like old ladies wear signs saying that they need help.”

“Well, you said you aren’t a nice guy. Would you help a woman across the street?”

“If she needed help, sure.”

“There you go. You, my friend, are a good human being.”

“Well, then, I am a good human being in need of a second glass of wine. Cheryl, could you pour me another. The nice guy is paying for everything today.”

“Here’s your wine. I see what he means about being taken advantage of.”

“Oh, this is nothing. Two glasses of wine… that’s not even close to taking advantage in my book.”

“Sounds like there’s a story here, but, you know, hopefully a short story…no essay”

“I had a friend once who fell on some hard luck. I took him out a couple of times to a bar for lunch and a few beers.”

“How come I don’t remember this.”

“It was before this place opened.”

“So, what did he want, more than a few beers? Am I right?”

“No, but after a two times going to the same bar, he suggested: ‘maybe next time we can go someplace a little nicer.’ “

“Seriously? Who does that?”

“A good human being, I suppose, ‘cuz he always seemed like a nice guy to me.”


And, for your amusement:

74 thoughts on “Nice Guys Finish…

Add yours

  1. It’s all in the eye of the beholder, Dan — whether “nice guys” finish first or last, or whether “kindness” equals stupid (yes, I was told similar recently). I vote for nice. I also refuse to stop being kind.
    Great video. That little old lady packs quite a punch! :D Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Teagan. Like I said, it isn’t s choice. I can’t change who I am. Kindness does NOT equal stupid. Ugh, I shake my head at the thought of someone saying that, yet I’ve been told a form of that too.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh oh. What happened to your likes, Dan, for this post? They are there in the reader but not on the actual white paged post. The case of the like monster. Anyways …. I’ve been taken advantage of for being a nice gal. I’ve learned to sum up the situation which will depend which “mode” I go into. Sales people who are obnoxious I have a certain tone of voice for, and believe me it is not of a nice gal. Those who call this house pushing sales again the nice gal is shelved. When you’ve gotten stung enough times, you learn how to assess a certain situation as how to act. We all know you are a nice guy, Dan, no question there. And that video is too funny. Sometimes, I admit, you just cannot win no matter what. Ah, but that’s life. :) <3

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Amy. I can’t help being a nice guy. I was raised by a nice guy and being like him is more important to me than anything. I don’t always take the not-nice posture I should, even when I recognize who I’m dealing with. It takes a while, but I get it.

      I appreciate your support and that of all my friends here. We’ll find those likes. Not to worry.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Something to think about when I have a few more minutes, Dan. If there were more nice people and good human beings, we wouldn’t have to worry about the distinction. At least that’s my thought. Stick with being one or both and yet not naive. It can be done, I think.

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Count me in the club Dan. My husband always says I get dunked at work all the time because I am “nice”. (He is too, by the way although he can be a real prickly pear when you rub him the wrong way). He says many people view niceness as weakness and therefore have little respect for a nice person. How can I be what I am not? In order to survive I have had to pull out my crabby claws and show them that “nice” doesn’t mean stupid, naive or doormat. But, being nice and all, it pains to me to have to prove to others that I have a right to my opinions and decent treatment. I so get this post. And make my Corona a Light. Watching the carbs these days…..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Cheryl. It is hard trying to be what you’re not, and I never feel good having to bring out the claws. I’ve had to end relationships that have been one-way streets for too many years, but for the most part, I’m content to be the nice guy and take what comes with it. It’s good to be joined by someone whom I admire – I’ll serve you that Corona Light today – you can have the rest of the day off. You want a slice of lime in there?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Of course! It wouldn’t be the same without the lime. And I know what I’m doing with the rest if my day….now where did I lay my camera down? 😉
        Oh, I read a life altering book some years back by Don Miguel Ruiz. Well I have read all of his books but this one dealt with Love and its many definitions. He speaks of labels and not doing this in more than the obvious way satting that any lable is a detriment. For if you label someone as bad, or good, you leave no room in your thoughts for them to be otherwise. In the ‘bad’ person, it leads to expectation and assumptions of always the worst. Yet it is equally maligning for the ‘good’ person who is held to the highest standard and frowned upon even more severely should that person fall short of the defined expectation. I have now actually told a person or two who has said, “You are such a nice person” in certain situations to please not think of me that way for I am the same as everyone else. I am just trying to be the best person I know how to be but I can fall short just like everyone else.
        Thanks Dan. I am happy about the label if it puts me in company with folks like yourself too!

        Like

  5. Apologies if needed Dan, but am I the only one who has mentioned that you should just write a book or write screen plays? BTW, that’s a compliment coming from another nice guy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Mark. You are a nice guy, And, you’re a good human being. I appreciate the compliment. I’m not sure where this writing thing goes from here, but I’m happy here for now.

      Like

    1. I’m not sure I understood that either, Lois. I’m guessing that most of the “good human beings” help fewer people than us “nice guys” do. I can’t change who I am. I’ll stick with nice. “Good human being” sounds like: “he’s OK” and I think I can do better.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Nice guys lack depth and purpose. Nice guys live on the surface and they like an audience. Nice guys are boring. Nice guys have boy scout mentalities where they should have honor and integrity. Nice guys have no spine, no pride. Nice guys, in my experience, leave a lot to be desired.
    But then, you know I think of myself as a b — Not a Nice Lady.
    For the record, I suppose at times you’re nice, and being nice is nice, but you’re not my definition of a Nice Guy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, after reading your definition of nice, I’m glad I don’t fit. I don’t think I represent those qualities (or lack thereof) but I try to be nice. I don’t see why we can’t be nice to each other and still work together.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I’ve worked at places like that. It causes a conflict when your values and the values of the job don’t mesh. I am glad I don’t work at those kind of places any more. Wasted too many years working at those places. And I am still a nice guy ( woman). :)

    Liked by 1 person

        1. Yeah, for me it was the dollar vs the people who were our clients. I got used to the little things, like taking them to lunch but billing them for it but when we actually did things like flat out overcharging them, I had to leave.

          Liked by 1 person

  8. I think you should try dialogue writing in Hollywood movies. I mean it seriously. I couldn’t take my attention off the topic for a second. Great post. As far as I am concerned, my level of nice depends on how nice the other person is.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Sharukh. I spend a lot of time on these. I’m managing to get one or two out each month, but I’m not sure I can step up the pace. I enjoy these “discussions” more than anything I write, but they are a challenge.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I’d say it’s a good thing I’m getting a drink out of this, because trying to differentiate between “nice guys” and “good human beings” makes my head hurt. *lifts bottle*

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I tend to agree Paul. The conversation that spawned this was taking place at a bar, and I hailed the waitress right about the point of being deemed a “nice guy” as if it’s a bad thing. I’m always good for a beer – hey, I’m a nice guy.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. “A world of nice people, content in their own niceness, looking no further, turned away from God, would be just as desperately in need of salvation as a miserable world, and might even be more difficult to save.” – C.S. Lewis

        Like

    1. If it helps, I’m always drinking beer. I’m not still sick, but I’m still not eating/drinking like normal. So, a lighter beer is working better for me. I would agree with you on the nice/good thing, but apparently, not everyone sees it that way.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Very ‘nice’ post, Dan. I looked it up and was surprised by what I found. The adjective ‘nice’ comes from Latin nescius “ignorant, unaware,” literally “not-knowing,” from ne- “not” (see un-) + stem of scire “to know” (see science). “The sense development has been extraordinary, even for an adj.” [Weekley] — from “timid” (pre-1300); to “fussy, fastidious” (late 14c.); to “dainty, delicate” (c. 1400); to “precise, careful” (1500s, preserved in such terms as a nice distinction and nice and early); to “agreeable, delightful” (1769); to “kind, thoughtful” (1830).
    I love this bit;
    By 1926, it was pronounced “too great a favorite with the ladies, who have charmed out of it all its individuality and converted it into a mere diffuser of vague and mild agreeableness.” [Fowler]
    A hundred years from now someone will blog a post about the word ‘bad’ and wonder what we meant by it today. In Ireland we say ‘How bad’ meaning ‘How good’ but it comes from the expression ‘How bad is that?’ Urban slang uses ‘bad’ for awesome, great, cool (all positive) but in the States I think ‘bad’ can be used in an apology ‘my bad’.
    So, depending on what century you were living in, if you’re a nice guy you could be ‘ignorant’ ‘delicate’ ‘precise’ or even ‘delightful’ – how bad!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. I didn’t think there was a distinction between a “nice guy” and a “good human being”. I though the first was just a slang for the second. The way you describe a “nice guy” is my idea of a “people pleaser”, which I think of as someone who let’s her/himself get walked on, someone who refuses to acknowledge that a person can and should say no once in a while.

    Another concept I don’t like is “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” If you have any feels of regard for the person, sometimes you may have to say something unpleasant to them for their own sake. However, I do believe in using tact in almost all circumstances.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Maybe I grew into being nice, Glynis because I’m so bad at being tactful. I don’t look to be a people pleaser, but I do consider whether or not I have something nice to say, and I tend to go with that if I can. I agree that you sometimes have to say things that are not nice, but I think that’s between people who are close enough for those things to be appreciated. I’ve had to say not-so-nice things on peoples’ reviews, but that’s an obligation I have to them and to my employer. Some people, nice and otherwise, struggle with those things.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The struggle to accept the truth when it isn’t pleasant to hear is something I seem to be constantly battling with when dealing with some of my family members. Even tact doesn’t work with them. I’m a “fixer” by nature, wanting to make things as right as possible. I have a terrible time shutting my trap when dealing with these loved ones and end up in the dog house. “Foot-in-Mouth” disease.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. The Bible says that no one is good but the Lord, but for argument’s sake, I can stick with the “nice” or “good” guy labels. “She said that a nice guy will help an old lady across the street, but a good human being would look at the woman first and consider whether or not she needed help.” Well, for MY money, that’s backwards. The good human being would be even MORE likely to help anyone, whether they appeared to need it or not. Usually a nice person is willing to expend some extra energy — if it’s needed. But a “good” person would be willing to put himself out there, even at the risk of his act of kindness being “not needed”. And if you really want to get right down to brass tacks, a “good” guy isn’t a good guy at all unless he’s also a “nice” guy. You can’t be a good human being if you’re not a nice guy. So sorry, mystery sales/business woman, but you’re full of it. Besides, God is always watching and knows our heart, and I think WHY you do a kindness to someone else is more important than the kindness itself. Seeing a need and acting on it is fine. But considering the well being of another person, even in the absence of seeing a need? Well, THAT is proof of a sincere heart, and whether people take advantage of that or criticize you for it is of no consequence and reflects poorly on THEM, not on you. The Lord knows.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I do think that nice guys are fine with me, Dan. I would say you are definitely one of the nicest men I have met in blogging, along with “one of the good guys.”
    I do admire “good human beings,” but probably feel this is above my ability to discern or declare. Since some “nice guys” appear nice but are only on the surface. I guess to me I would label “really nice guys who I know well” this, leaving the higher label to one who are in family, clergy or counseling where secrets and hidden vices would be more open to see. Those who have lived with and know more about the persons may be able to label them in the “good human being” category. I hope my family and friends believe this of me, but I do have some cranky moments and not sure I would be still labeled a “nice girl.” ha ha!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Back in high school and college, it used to be said that nice guys don’t get the girls. That girls don’t like nice guys. They like the rugged weed-sucking I-don’t-care-about-the-world alcoholics with bad language who also didn’t stay long in school. Even worse, the girls didn’t like bookworms at all (which was one of the worst things l’d ever heard, being myself a bookworm). A lot of boys, therefore, opted “to be bad” then. Deliberately. You know, with peer pressure and all. They did get the girls.
    Being one to ponder over issues over and over again, I never got the “bad boy attraction” logic. I still don’t. But looking around me, I think it’s true. I mean, you scarcely ever see those fine girls with math professors or medical researchers. But look at those foul-mouthed rappers and the drug dealers!
    Anyway, I have deviated. This post has reminded of the subject I have deliberated upon for a long time. But a nice guy and a good human being? I think they are both fine. Whether the old lady needs help or not doesn’t matter if you are willing to help.
    Thank you, Dan.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Peter. I had to laugh at the notion of pretty girls and math professors. Such is life. Maybe nice guys are more likely to also be nerds. That may just be my personal experience showing, but…

      Like

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