Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum and More Fees

For the love of beer
The perfect place and beverage to share some casual conversation with my friend.

If we were having a beer, you would start out by asking me about my recent trip.

“Hey, the traveling man is back. So, Ricky, given that you were in New Orleans all week, do you even want a beer?”

“I do. I’ll even buy, but don’t start any rumors about me traveling like Ricky Nelson. I’m a good boy. Cheryl, how about a Yuengling and a glass of wine for my buddy.”

“Actually, since you’re buying, I’ll have a Woodford Reserve, you know, in honor of your return from Bourbon Street.”

“That’s pretty pricey stuff.”

“I’m sure it’s less expensive than the drinks you’ve were buying all week.”

“That’s true, hotels and restaurants in tourist trap cities really know how to hammer you on alcohol.”

“Maybe that’s what they mean when they say ‘getting hammered’…or not.”

Pulled Pork
You can follow Cheryl here

“Not in New Orleans, that’s for sure.”

“Here you go boys. Today’s special is pulled pork with cornmeal dumplings. In case you’re still craving southern food.”

“That does sound good.”

“So, did you start drinking on the plane, you know, try to get a head-start? ‘Cuz airline booze is really expensive.”

“Actually, beer on the plane was free but I only had one on the flight from Atlanta to New Orleans.”

“What? Are you some kind of fancy-schmancy-class passenger that gets free drinks now?”

“No, I paid an extra fee for more legroom. In addition to the extra 4”, I get to check one bag for free and I can have two beers.”

“Sounds like an incentive made just for you.”

“I do it mainly for the legroom, I don’t usually have the beers.”

“A whole four inches. I don’t want to know what they bang you for that.”

“It varies by distance, here to Atlanta is $30. Atlanta to New Orleans is $15.”

“OK, apparently you’re as bad at recognizing direct statements as you are rhetorical questions.”

“Oh, you really didn’t want to know…”

“No. I knew I’d end up shaking my head. $45, so you can have almost as much legroom as they used to give you in Coach. This is why I hate flying. If I paid that fee, I’d have two beers on every flight and I’d check a bag of rocks.”

“It is steep, but in Coach on this airline, my knees hit the seat in front of me.”

“OK, so not Coach but yet, not Business Class. Once on the ground, are you a taxi guy an Uber guy, or do you have a limo?”

Taxi Sign“I’m a taxi guy, but New Orleans and Hartford could make me consider switching to Uber. The cab from MSY to the hotel was kinda gross.” 

“Eeew! I understand how that would change your behavior in the Big Easy, but what’s wrong with Bradley?”

“I’m in the Flate-Rate zone, and they always want to make me wait.”

“They can’t do that; that’s illegal.”

“I know, but unless I tell them that I know that, and threaten to act on that knowledge, they’ll make me wait 45 minutes.”

“You could walk home in less time.”

“I have walked home, dragging my suitcase behind me.”

“There’s a good reason not to drink on the plane. Well, at least your hotel was probably a good deal, since you were attending a conference.”

“It was, but I paid an extra fee to get a room on an upper floor, with a skyline view.”

“Does your boss know you did that?”

“I paid that fee myself.”

“Does your wife know you did that?”

“She does. But, check it out. Look at the view from my room.”

“A construction site? What the…? Did you ask for your money back?”

“Are you kidding? Look at the cranes. I love cranes!”

“You’re nuts. Cheryl, since Ricky has a willingness to spend his money foolishly, pour me another Bourbon, please.”

Note: You can follow Cheryl here.

53 thoughts on “Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum and More Fees

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  1. Ha, construction is all I see behind my office building these days. They’ve been expanding our space, as well as building an underground parking garage, for months now. As for legroom, as a daily train rider and occasional plane rider, I say BRING ON THE LEGROOM. It’s terrible that they charge extra for it, but a cramped experience during flight? Personally, I refuse to put up with it. It’s worth a few bucks to stretch out. We already don’t enjoy any kind of food on planes anymore — the least we can do is not have the seat in front of us hitting our knees. *raises glass* To flight. And cranes. Hey, some cranes fly …

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the validation Paul. I’ll grudgingly pay for legroom. It makes a big difference. I’d worry if I had construction out my window at work. I might not get anything done. I have seen the heavy lift helicopters in flight, but never at work. That would be a treat.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. We gladly pay extra for the extra leg room on international flights, and we paid extra to be in the first boarding group on the last domestic flight. I’m guessing the next step will be a regular charge to be on the outside of the plane and a large extra charge to be on the inside. Their seats were designed for a pre-teen child. I love to travel, but I truly hate it when it involves a plane. Now, I need a beer. :-)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. At least on the outside we might have legroom :)

      The “package” included being in an early boarding group. It’s getting to be a challenge, that’s for sure. It’s not bad for planned travel but if you have to go in a hurry, you pay tons of money for no legroom. Thank goodness my next trip is by train.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I loved the line “A construction site? What the…? Did you ask for your money back?” To be honest, most people here too are particular about the view outside the hotel window. When I stay in hotels, I don’t really care about the view because I’m usually never in the hotel room for most hours of the day. For me, a hotel room is just to keep my luggage safe and to have a bath and sleep. I don’t eat or drink in the hotel, don’t use laundry service, housekeeping service, no room service. However, I make sure the hotel is not noisy and I get some peace of mind when I return to my room. In fact, I usually never pick hotels, I prefer other types of accommodation options like Dharamshala (hotels made for religious trips) where I don’t dash into I-Don’t-Care-I-Am-On-A-Holiday-Type-Excited-Whackos.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha. I like your last sentence, I’ve seen those people. I’m not in the room much, but I get up very early and I like to see what’s out there. I went up to the room from the conference, as I gathered material. Easier than lugging it around all day.

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      1. I usually stay away from such crowd. Not that I don’t like having fun, but my definition of fun is bit decent and disciplined. I enjoy my life and holidays without being a nuisance to anyone around. By the way I found out which hotel you checked in through your images. Hope you don’t think of me as intrusive character, its just my detective senses came alive and I was like what’s the name of the hotel. You haven’t mentioned it but it’s H*A*T.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Good sleuth work. It’s no secret (now), the conference was at the Hyatt Regency in New Orleans. I usually try not to talk about travel until it’s over. Sometimes, I reach out to people, if I’m going to be in their area, but I do that privately. Also, when traveling for business, I am usually not in charge of my schedule. This trip had me busy from 8:00 am until 10:00 pm, all but the last night (when I was packing to leave).

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    1. Sorry, John. I didn’t do a great job of including reference points for scale. The best one I had was the one with the two cars. It is a pretty big crane, but surprisingly nimble, as they moved it around the site a bit.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. While everyone else is commenting on legroom and hotel room views, I am hysterically laughing at the sign in the cab. Since your cab was gross, I wonder if there actually is any clean-up by the cab company. Ewwww.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Mary. I was wondering if anybody would go there. That photo is from a friend. My cab didn’t have such a sign but it smelled like it needed one. Fortunately, the cab from the hotel to the airport was much nicer. I haven’t tried the Uber thing yet.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Years ago, a waitress in a French Quarter bar was taking our drink orders. When she got to my buddy, he told her that he was not drinking because he was our designated driver. She kicked us out.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. The crane would have been fun to watch working. The images of the skyline with the crane with the blue sky, crane, big puffy clouds, and great light on the skyline is my favorite.

    I pay for early boarding to get an aisle seat, and overhead storage if I’m traveling light with one valise, and a purse. I haven’t paid for extra leg room that would be nice on a long haul flight!
    Thankfully, I don’t fly too much. Most my travel is by car. The train would be fun I think. I’m imagining a private sleeper car on a steam train.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My next couple of trips will be by train, or driving, but I don’t think I’ll have a sleeper car on a steam train – that would be wonderful. I was able to see the crane at work a few times, It is fun to watch. I was too far away to get video. The picture of the smaller crane with the wood hanging from it, is actually in motion. It had lifted that load from the new construction floor and was dropping it to the ground.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Holy hangovers, Batman! That is one tempting, delicious looking meal. Suddenly the cup of chicken broth I was about to have has lost its appeal. Errm, but I get the idea that the taxis don’t smell much different from the streets in New Orleans… Gorgeous meal not so tempting any more. ;)
    Cool photos, Dan. Enjoyed hearing Traveling Man too. Saturday hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh my Dan. Are you really this easy rolling or will Mr. Hyde-Antion show up eventually? I would definitely have demanded some money back in that “view”. But hey as long as it didn’t rain non stop you are ahead of the game, Southerly speaking, for this time of year.
    Hey, that Bourbon sounds nice. I have never tried it. I think the local liquor store might be missing me. It would be for medicianl purposes, of course. The shoulder, you know…🙄
    Oh, and thanks for the bump and link. You would have lived the pulled pork..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am nice Cheryl but I did like the view. I texted it to my wife and daughter as soon as I arrived. My wife said “anyone else would ask for their money back. You’re saying yahoo.”

      That bourbon is excellent and very good for sore shoulders.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Haha! “check a bag of rocks!” Haha! I guess it pays to be short sometimes. My husband eats his knees while I swing my feet back and forth like a lil kid. Heh.
    I love cranes, too, all big building equipment farm vehicle type stuff, actually. I was so disappointed when my husband turned down a job at Caterpillar — I thought surely there’d be days we could climb around on the stuff and gawk, like Family Night or somethin. :D
    Anyway, if I get too high up, I don’t open the windows. I’d be much more likely to pay extra for ground floor.
    Fun post, Dan!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Family Day at Caterpillar plant would be worth changing jobs, just sayin. The funny thing about being tall on a plane is that, not only do you get squished, you get to help short folks put their luggage up and then watch them swing their feet :)

      My room wasn’t very high but probably higher than you would like.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. That sign makes me want to throw up. :-) That would be a bit off-putting, even though the cab would be cleaned if someone got sick in it. (At least we hope so.) As for that extra fee at the hotel, that’s what the photos for the post cost, I guess. Maybe you can deduct it. Hee, hee. You’ve got me thinking about a beer now.

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

  11. The photographs are not all bad, Dan! I enjoyed the way the sun lit up that crane and the night skyline, too. I would pay extra to have a few people give me a pop/soda and some snacks. I am not a beer drinker, or rarely. . . :) I would like the window seat, though. . .
    I liked the pulled pork with corn meal dumplings with the veggies on the side. Looked so yummy! I hope you are enjoying being home and with your family for a delightful and fun Mother’s Day, Dan! :)

    Liked by 1 person

  12. It makes my day when I decide to catch up on your blog and find sone of your bar conversations. They are reliably believable and funny. And don’t even get me started on airlines and their slide into flyers’ hell since their heydays in the sixties.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Janet. Some topics lend themselves to these conversations. I really enjoy writing them. As for the airlines, my best friend commented in 1984 that the airlines had become the ‘new bus’ – today, I think that would be aspirational for most airlines.

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