How Many Legs on that Lizard?

If we were having a beer, you would be wondering what I would be drinking.

“I know I’m having a glass of Meiomi, but I’m not sure what my young friend will be drinking.”

“Yuengling, what else?”

“Oh, I wish I could make that evil laugh sound. Is it ‘bwahhaha or bahhaha?’ Anyway, there is no Yuengling today.”

Tap handles
No Yuengling tap handle :(

“Cheryl, what happened here?”

“They’re on strike Dan. Actually, it’s a lockout, but either way, we’re almost out of beer. Yuengling kicked three days ago. This is all I have left, and most of these kegs will kick tonight.”

“No Yuengling?”

“Sorry, no Yuengling.”

“What about bottles?”

“I have one lonely Heineken, two Sam Boston Lagers and six Coronas.”

“I’ll have the Sams. One now and set the other aside for me. I don’t want to end up drinking Bud Light.”

“I am totally out of Bud Light.”

“Well, that’s no loss.”

“If I might interrupt, maybe this is an opportunity for you to expand your rather limited palate. This place has an excellent wine selection.”

“I like wine, but I don’t drink wine in the afternoon.”

“Ah, you’ll drink no wine before it’s time.”

“Nice play on an old commercial. I’m surprised you remember Paul Masson. I would have thought you always had a taste for more expensive wine.”

“I have to confess, I’ve been reading Teagan’s serial. She mentioned Paul Masson a few weeks ago. I remember the commercials, but not the wine. In fact, when those commercials were on the air, I was still drinking beer.”

“What, so you’ve outgrown beer?”

“Not in a sophisticated sense, I simply can’t drink beer anymore. It fills me up.”

“I hope that never happens to me.”

“Well, if the lizards in charge of the beer distributor, keep the drivers locked out, you may have no choice.”

Cheryl's little buddy
Cheryl’s little buddy

“Here’s Sam 1-of-2. Here’s your wine, and watch what you say about lizards.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, are you supporting the owners, Cheryl?”

“No, I mean watch what you say about lizards, literally. I happen to like lizards.”

“The four-legged variety?”

“Yes. When I was in Florida, I loved seeing them. Here, see this photo, he’s my favorite.”

“When I was in Washington, D.C. last week, a city where they did have Yuengling on tap, it was so hot and humid, I was surprised I didn’t see lizards scurrying around.”

“Well, there are plenty of lizards in Washington, two-legged lizards that is. No offense intended, Cheryl.”

“None taken.”

“I saw your pictures from the Post Office Museum. I would think they have more interesting places in D.C. to visit.”

“I like places like that. I looped around after trying to get a photo of the Capitol, only to find it wrapped in scaffolding.

“Talk about a collection of lizards.”

“Speaking of lizards, the metaphorical kind, remember the problem I had with my car dealer?”

The service from hell story, yes, I remember. Based on your intro, I’m guessing it wasn’t resolved in your favor.”

“Not hardly. I am never going back to that place.”

“What did they do now?”

“Well, in an attempt to ‘make things right’ the Service Manager called me.”

“That’s a good start.”

“Yeah, blah blah blah, problems with new system, blah blah, very sorry, blah blah. Then he said: ‘look, you need tires, and you’re due for the four-wheel drive maintenance. Schedule those, and I’ll balance the tires for free.’ “

“That’s it? Who doesn’t balance tires when you buy new ones?”

“I know, but that’s not the worst part. The four-wheel drive maintenance? It’s not due for 15,000 more miles or 8 more months!”

“So, in order to make up for lying to you, they lied to you again and then offered to give you something they would have included for free. I think Cheryl’s right, those guys give lizards a bad name.”

“I agree. Cheryl, how about that second Sam. I think I need a drink.”

In addition to being part of our ongoing conversation, I hope this post is part of Linda G. Hill’s #SoCS challenge. Her instructions:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “drink.” Use it as a noun or a verb. Have fun!

This post was originally written in SoCS style, for last week’s prompt “class” but it had to be yanked and rewritten. It was rewritten in SoCS style, too. I’m hoping Linda allows that.

67 thoughts on “How Many Legs on that Lizard?

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  1. Happy Saturday, Dan! I hope Cheryl & company get more beer in time for next week’s post. :)
    Yep, the two worst kinds of lizards — politicians and car dealers/service. I’ll stay off my Julia Sugarbaker soapbox about my disaster of a MINI Countryman. Although a good rant might save me from a second large cup of coffee…
    Many, many thanks for the kind mention. :D I was cheating just a bit to use the Paul Masson commercial. I think the run of that ad series started a little after the timeline of “The Guitar Mancer” but I couldn’t resist.
    Cheryl’s favorite lizard is a cutie. It reminds me of the little guy on “Death in Paradise” — one of my favorite BBC offerings on Netflix.
    Have a wonder-filled weekend. Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A good rant might be fun to read too, Teagan. This post got all messed up. I think the only piece that survived was the Paul Masson bit. I like to think that my bar-buddy follows your serials :)

      That lizard is a cutie. Cheryl, the real Cheryl, was kind enough to let me use the photo. Have a great weekend!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry Judy, but how do you think I felt. No beers on tap that I liked??!!?? These guys shouldn’t be allowed to have labor disputes. Where’s Ronald Reagan when we need him. I think the National Guard should be delivering beer.

      Unfortunately, this lockout is dragging on and getting ugly. I don’t know enough to comment, but the reason I pulled this post a week ago is because of some comments in the local press.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I know, this could get very bad. The same distributor supplies most package stores in this area. They carry about 80% of the brands of beer, and all the ones I like. I’m keeping a careful eye on my fridge. I mean, the 4th of July is coming :)

      Thanks Lois.

      Like

  2. I always tell service guys, “I may be single but I have two brothers!” I use a joking tone but I actually will call either of them. Both have a great mechanic, not the same town up in Cleveland nor the same high school. The car mechanic is happy to answer their text messages starting with “Robin needs a quick answer. . .” I had a dealership in 2008 trying to sell me a car with rather high payments and called my teacher/professor brother. He said to tell them I was a teacher and ask if they would check the Marion Credit Union which the town I had bout two other cars from same dealership (!) did have a public employee discount thru the union. See, I had two jobs, ex who had co-signed previous car loans had NO job but they were treating me in a sexist manner, since the ink was barely dry on the divorce papers.
    Anyway, I suggest all people to have a “back up” authority figure, but especially women, who seem to get extra charges on their car maintenance bills.
    I drink wine and also, hard apple cider or wine coolersikr Bacardi ice. My brothers purchase FatHeads since Randy does their art and carpentry projects. I recommend local breweries which there are two right here in Delaware, Ohio. No need for trucking complications or strikes hopefully.i like a good FatHeads summer shanty or a Barley Brewster’s summer citrus ale. :)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My daughter hates when she is treated in s sexist manner by s mechanic. She actually knows a bit about cars, having helped me fix ours when she was little. I’m always available to be the guy asking the question though. Just in case.

      Even the micro breweries are affected by this lockout, as very few deliver their own beer. I guess I could go and eat there but it wouldn’t be the same.

      Like

  3. Cute lizard! I sure hope you get to drink your favourite beer soon. I had to look up what was happening since my local news hasn’t reported on it. These owners sure look like bad guys. In the last 7 years they violated the Clean Water Act 141 times times and now they want to break the union. What’s wrong with these people?

    Liked by 1 person

      1. These things always get so tangled. I feel bad for -all- the workers as well as the surrounding countryside. We really need better protection from unscrupulous business owners.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Don’t get me started on auto service….grrrrrr…when we bought this car the writer for the contract thought he had a patsy when I walked in to sign on my dotted line, lee made the deal while I was working and all I was supposed to do was sign the contract. I showed up, he had TWO contracts, one of which had a “super” maintenance agreement attached. I was told what to sign and neither of them was it. He got testy with me for ebing intelligent and I called my husband. I also said we could just scratch the whole deal. No worries. My husband is a brute about deals, we ended up getting side molding, mud flaps and a cargo roll cover to make up for his behavior. We noticed recently the fellow no lobger works there.
    Sorry your guys were such cheesers. Tire people and transmission people are the worst Dan.
    BTW handsome little green guy. 😏
    What’s all this beer hoopla? I hadn’t heard anything about that. PS I fill up quickly in beer too. That’s why I do the Light, followed up with whiskey….hehe.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I remember when you introduced us to Jameson’s and Coke :) this dealer lied and lied and lied to me. I caught them on this one and it cost them a customer forever. The service he wanted me to do at 43,000 miles/39 months isn’t due until 60,000 or 48 months. It says that right in the manual and the Jeep App! Thanks for taking part in “bring your lizard to work day” :)

      Liked by 1 person

  5. After reading this, I wondered how badly I’ve been hosed over the years. Essentially I’m pretty trusting and assume people are being honest and fair with me. Sounds like I should be doing my homework!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I generally try to avoid dealer service. These guys started out good but after two years, they had become awful. They became much more interested in making money than providing service.

      Like

  6. The gall of these people! :O Omaword!

    Sidenote: Beer fills me up too. If Imma drink beer, I may as well skip dinner. Plus, the other night, The Mister was listening to some fitness thing, and the guy said drinking beer is like eating seven slices of bread. I think my beer drinking will be spare. SEVEN slices of bread! Mercy.
    That’s so sad about your Yuengling though, sorry, man.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. You couldn’t have had a more perfect SOCs prompt if you tried, Dan. Drink. Hmmmm…let me think of something. It’s like asking me to post photos of the cats. Nice job on the prompt and I agree about Bud products. Yuck.

    The car dealership should be reported to the Better Business Bureau. That’s awful.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, this was an easy prompt. Maybe next week Linda will go with “Crane” :) The funny thing about Bud Light, is how many people order it. I just don’t get it. I started to write another email to the owner, but I thought that he’d probably try to do something else to make me feel better and then I’d be even angrier. I’m going to just spread the word as best I can to watch out for these guys. I have tried six times to get off their email spam list. If they don’t remove me this last time, I will contact the owner, just so I can rant. The car is out of warranty and paid for, so if anything horrible goes wrong, I’ll just push it off a cliff.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Dan, if I was any kind of a drinker I’d choose Yuengling Lager! 🍺Very inviting photos! Quite the different SOC post. Car dealer service, lizards and beer! You put it all nicely together though! Like your new profile picture! Nice change! Have a super weekend! 🍻 Elizabeth

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Elizabeth. It only took a month, but I updated that photo :) – I like the SoCS prompts. I like to see if I can get my mind to wander around to a point. I have only tried a couple of times with the conversations, and usually, I’ve messed them up to the point where they needed to be edited, so I didn’t link them to Linda’s page. I wasn’t sure if she would consider a complete rewrite to be editing. If she does, I guess I won’t get any points this week :)

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my – “Delight?” – yeah he had so many upset customers the day this started, I literally had to wait in line to yell at him. I’m glad you enjoyed the story. At least something good came out of it.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. There’s a beer driver strike? I’m not hearing that on the news in the west. I hope all the parties can work it out and get back to work. You know I like Guinness; it’s a meal in a glass, and it’s only 100 calories per cup! I’m all over that! Yeah, in my world calories are KING!
    If I’m not watchin’ my waist the guys/men surely won’t! That’s something I learned from my Mom. She was right! Mom’s are always right! :)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is a local distributor. Your Guinness is safe, Deborah :)

      The drivers are willing to work during negotiations but the owners aren’t. They locked the drivers out and are trying to work with replacement drivers. How to mess up a summer. I feel like shouting “you have one job!” This industry is very territorial, so it’s not like bars, restaurants and retail stores can go elsewhere.

      Moms are always right.

      Like

  10. I love the pub atmosphere. I don’t like beer though. And I can’t drink wine unless it’s homemade. Whatever they put in commercial wine makes me physically sick within two hours of drinking the third of a fluted glass worth. My brother likes the imported beers from Europe. Is there that much difference?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ll have to get Cheryl to brew a pot of coffee. No goodie basket though but they have nice appetizers. I like a wide variety of beers. I think, maybe, with lagers, there isn’t as much difference as you might find with IPAs, stouts and other such brews. I can usually find something I like. Wine needs to come later in the day for me. In the rare occasion that I drink late, it’s Bourbon.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Dan, I’m usually gonna hit beer after a rough day or a hot afternoon outdoors, almost always with food. The wine has to be with a quiet dinner or for relaxing. Whiskey is always my last dance except on weekends when I go all crazy and drink whatever I want whenever I want! I started out with Caymen Kona liqueur and Rum Chata in my coffee. Just did some chores and am thinking about what I might like…….lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Beer is my go to drink, but I won’t drink it for thirst on a hot day. I’ll start with water, then beer. However, I will start with Mike’s Hard Lemonade, but not if I’m thinking about driving. That stuff goes down too easy.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well we do both. Beer with a bottle of water. It just tastes so good when nothing else will cool you off. And there is very little to no AC in Costa Rica so cold beer feels like 36,000 BTU. 😛

        Liked by 1 person

  12. You certainly like your Yuengling, Dan. Good stuff. My top preference, though, would be a Guinness or a coffee stout. There are a lot of good beers out there, but I’ve found that, for me, the darker and thicker they are, the better. I don’t have many pilsners, in other words — which, when I was a kid, I thought was the only kind of beer that existed. The craft-beer craze has really been a boon to the industry. Cheers!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Paul. Maybe I’ll give Guinness another try, one of these days. It’s been a long time and tastes do change. I tend to get set in my beer ways. You’re the second person to mention “coffee stout” – I’m not sure I know what that is.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Guinness is a stout, defined by our friends at Wikipedia as “a dark beer made using roasted malt or roasted barley, hops, water and yeast.” So a coffee stout is simply a stout with coffee beans mixed in. It’s miles away from a pilsner like Budweiser or the like, but if you’re a fan of dark, thick beers, it’s delicious.

        Liked by 2 people

  13. Locked-out beer, the right time to drink wine, lizards, shady car dealers, and places to visit in DC — all in a five minute conversation. I’ve experienced many such bar conversations and they remind me of eating Chinese food: thirty minutes later you can’t remember what you talked about.

    Liked by 2 people

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