No Third Chilidog

Somewhere, over the rainbow…

Have you every ordered something to eat that you knew you didn’t want? On more than one occasion, I’ve ordered a third chilidog. I love those things, but I should never eat more than two. Imagine how much worse that would be if after I ordered three chilidogs, the guy said: “that’s going to take a while, we’re just finishing a new batch of chili.” How much worse would that be if, when I finally got the chilidogs, the buns were torn, I didn’t get any napkins and the chili had beans. I don’t like chili with beans.

This isn’t a post about chilidogs.

This is about Windows 10, but I figured if I put that in the title, you would have skipped it. I’m sorry for the subterfuge.

I had a near-death experience with Windows 10 last week. After endless months of badgering, I caved to Microsoft’s incessant whining and agreed to upgrade my laptop to Windows 10 from Windows 7. I waited as long as I could. The free offer was ending. I like Windows 7. However, I use Windows 10 at work, and it’s OK, so I figured it would be a good idea to stay up-to-date.

Windows 10 is OK in the way a chilidog on a non-toasted bun with turkey-chili and tofu-cheese-like-stuff is OK. It’s not what you want, but…

Just in case you don’t know, I do this stuff (Windows, not chili dogs) for a living. I’ve used every Microsoft product since the first version of DOS that came with my IBM PC. I’ve been around this block before. This time, the experience felt wrong from the get-go.

I clicked on that pesky “Get Windows 10” icon that has been wedged into my taskbar and I agreed to begin downloading. Nothing. Oh, the screen changed and a disproportional circle of dots started whirring around, but nothing happened. I closed the download screen after 15 minutes and saw:

“0 KB total – 0% complete.”

I tried again.

It failed again.

I Googled. The folks at Google must have a screen somewhere that shows how many millions of people are Googling “Windows 10 fails to download” or “why won’t Windows 10 download” or “What the f… Microsoft?” Google started me on a different route – Windows Update from the Start Menu.

Different screen. Same result. 0 KB total – 0% complete.

Lather, rinse and Google again. I found a link from Microsoft. “Having trouble? Blah blah blah. Try this…” Different website – 0 KB total – 0% complete.

Hey Google, it’s me again. How can I say this in a way that will get me some different choices…? I know – ‘download Windows 10’…oh yeah, that worked.”

FREE – Get authentic Windows 10 from Joe’s Software,
Spam and Malware Outlet – FREE!

A little farther down, I spied an article from CNET. I trust those guys. Their link brought me to a fourth Microsoft website, but this one worked. I was able to download a bit of starter software. I ran that and a progress indicator started ticking off: 0%, 1%, 2%… it wasn’t happening quickly, but it was better than 2,800 diskettes.

The process got to 96% before my bedtime, so I just let it run.

In the morning, I found my PC responsive and ready to roll. I walked through the configuration screens. No, I don’t want to use Cortina. No, I don’t want to use the Edge browser. No, No, No, I don’t want to use anything made by Microsoft especially for Windows 10.

Reboot. Things kinda sorta looked OK, but I had to go to work. When I got home, I kicked off the CNET download on my wife’s laptop and turned my laptop on so I could print a building permit application and some plans I had been working on.

I knew I was doomed when Cortina offered to help me figure out what I wanted to do.

Just let me get my stuff.” You know, the stuff you said would be “right where I left it.”

Yes, Dorothy, your stuff is right where you left it. Your brush is on the dresser. Your clothes are in the closet. The milk is in the fridge. But, your house isn’t in Kansas anymore. Your house is in C:\old.kansas, and… it landed on Glinda.”

Firefox is not your preferred browser. Do you want to make it your preferred browser? What’s that? You tried that six times… Sorry, maybe if you try again.”

Chrome? The superior browser from Google? Chrome isn’t installed. Would you like Cortina to help? Here, try the Edge browser.

Welcome to Word 2013. Would you like to take a tour? Oh, you want to open a recent document…sorry, they’re over the rainbow in old.kansas.”

I see you double-clicked on a .docx file in old.kansas. I’m assuming you want to open that in WordPad, that’s what the Munchkins use.”

Sensing danger, I immediately cancelled the download on my wife’s laptop. Then, I force fed my documents into Word, and TurboCAD and I printed my application. Then, I clicked on the option to “Restore Windows 7”

Are you sure?

Yes, I am sure!

There’s no place like home.

79 thoughts on “No Third Chilidog

Add yours

  1. My hubby is convinced that MICROSOFT is being paid by the Federal Gov’t — a backdoor to your computer courtesy of Win10. (Why else would they be pushing so hard, and giving away a program for FREE when they could have sold it). We have multiple machines, 3 still running older versions, and one we have upgraded to Win10. Took 2 weeks for me to convince hubby to fix it to find my printer. I am learning to navigate and it seems once you get past the stupid menu’s you can find the old familiar screens.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I don’t mind using Windows 10, but I’m convinced that upgrading was a bad idea. Microsoft has never handled upgrades well, IMO, and I should have relied on my instinct with this one. Thanks for the comment.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. The iky sounding chili dog is a great analogy. Although now I have a bad yen for a chili dog for breakfast…
    Windows 10 obliterated my old computer. I was hugely annoyed when the new one gives me multiple pop ups a day trying to seduce then eventually trick me into putting 10 on the new computer. Maybe by the time 11 is out they’ll have the bugs out of 10. But I’m not risking it yet.
    Here’s Monday… Hugs.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks! Writing, reading and editing, Teagan, I am seriously in need of a chili dog. sorry to spread the want. I think the only good way to do this is to wipe and install a clean copy – and I’m just not up for that. I’ll stick with 7 until this laptop needs to go, or until they stop supporting it, or until I switch to Apple :)

      Liked by 3 people

  3. I couldn’t hit ‘like’ on this post although I do love a good chili dog. Can you imagine how frustrating these updates are to those who don’t have the technical background that you have? I have a Mac and ‘had’ to upgrade the operating system which now doesn’t support some programs I used regularly. I’m also sitting here looking at the number 4 which means I have 4 upgrades available but none will upload because of the operating system. Cue a few bad words. :-)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sorry Judy. I do feel your pain. When these things don’t work or don’t go according to plan, and the response is to do about 6-8 hours worth of work just to regain “most” of what you had yesterday, it’s not a good response. I found instructions to fix everything that was wrong, but I would have lost an entire weekend day. Not worth it.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m sorry to say I laughed all through your distress, but only because I’ve been through similar. (By the way, I’ve never had a chilidog,) I’ve a tablet running Windows 10 and in the middle of my doing something it will cheerfully tell me it wants to do an upgrade. I tell it to bog off and remind me later and does something dastardly which needs a restart, then what usually happens is I forget not to EVER restart the damn thing and as soon as it comes on again, it launches itself into an upgrade (this is, I think, what we used to call an update but Microsoft in all their -lack of- wisdom now try to force a complete change of O.S. version over the last). So I plug it in, the tablet starts recharging itself while the upgrade begins and I leave the room. I return an hour or two later and the damn system has turned itself off! I did the same as you – turned off Cortana, Edge, et al. I use Firefox and Chrome browsers on it instead. But everything that can go wrong does go wrong on this O.S. on the tablet. It might work fine on a full size desktop pc, but it’s vile on a portable anything.
    On a different note – do Apple mac O.S.’s (if you know) have the same desire to force upgrades on their users as Windows do? Or are they different?

    Going back to windows 7 is an option, but isn’t it past its extended support date in four years?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Apple does “recommend” updates. I have a Mac, and I haven’t had any issues with those updates, but I don’t run a lot of programs there. I have heard some complaints about Mac updates lately (including an earlier comment here). Windows 7 will move into a non-supported position, but this laptop is already 4 years old, so it won’t owe me anything when that day arrives. And, it’s always OK to laugh. If we lose that ability, we all need an upgrade.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I avoided the lure of the free offer to upgrade to Windows 10, so still run my Windows 7… I grew up with an ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’ perspective and so I guess I’ll just have to cross the ‘no longer supported’ bridge when I come to it… sigh! :-)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’d rather have a third chilidog than ruin a perfectly good computer with Windows 10, Dan. And I don’t want even a SECOND chilidog (tasty as they are, I don’t have that much of an appetite), so you know I mean business.

    I’m convinced ISIS is behind not only Windows 10, but most of the so-called updates that are forced on us. They don’t FIX bugs, they create them. O_o Good luck …

    Liked by 2 people

    1. If you’re not going to eat that chiulidog, Paul… See, this is how I get into trouble. I don’t know who came up with some of the ideas behind Windows 10, but some drive me nuts. The absence of the “Recent Items” menu option is just stupid in my mind. I practically work out of that menu on most days. The other thing is that they took away the simple desktop clock widget. It’s so annoying to squint to see the time. A programmer at work actually wrote a desktop clock for me !

      Thanks for your support.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I very willingly and happily upgraded to Windows 10. Why? Because I had just bought a new laptop that came loaded with Windows 8 even though I had specifically requested Windows 7 instead. Win 8 was AWFUL. Worse than awful. Windows 10 has been a huge relief in comparison and thankfully I’ve had no problems with it.

    I can’t say the same about my new laptop though. More than a few times it has come perilously close to being tossed enthusiastically at the nearest wall.

    My next laptop will be a MAC … and it can’t come too soon.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I use Windows 10 at work, on a Microsoft Surface, no less. I will never buy one of those, but it works fine enough. I think if this machine had been newer, it would have gone much better. I might had been more interested in making it work if it wasn’t threatening the programs I really needed to use at the moment. This laptop probably has a couple of good years left, and then I can figure out what I want to work on in my retirement. Thakns for the comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I’ve been ignoring that upgrade prompt ever since it first appeared. I’m very happy with Windows 7 – so happy with it, in fact that when I bought my husband a laptop a couple of years ago (when Win-8 was running), I specifically asked Dell to configure it with Win-7 instead of Win-8

    Liked by 1 person

      1. For whatever reason, WP cut off the balance of my comment. I added that my husband had come to me a couple of weeks ago saying that his laptop was prompting him to upgrade to Win-10! No, no, no. After reading about your experience, Dan, I’m so glad I stuck to my guns on that one.


  9. At least you got something usable out of the upgrade. I tried to upgrade my laptop with it… The whole install finished for me and when I rebooted the startup kept coming up with a “fatal disk error…will restart to try and fix it.” (Or words to that effect.) After watching the computer try to fix the “fatal error” about two dozen times, I said “F*** this,” shut it down, created a Ubuntu installation disk on my (Mac) desktop and installed it over Windows FUBAR. Came right up. No disk errors, nothing. I now have Linux Mint and Ubuntu installed on it, and neither has given me a moment’s trouble. Screw Microsoft.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. good for you , John. I’m not sure what I would have done had this not come back up. I wasn’t sure what I would do if the “give me windows 7 back” option failed, but I was willing to gamble. I feel like I waded into the River Styx but made it back safely to shore.


  10. I’m so sorry you’re in that group. That 10, she’s nosy and bossy and stubborn, she is. I have not had a bad experience per se, but it’s not been sunshine and rainbows working with her, and tons of other people had worse experiences than yours, so there’s definitely SOMETHIN not so right about her!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Joey. I’m glad you referred to “her” – I wasn’t going to risk offending my editor. There is something not right about it, and there is something horribly wrong with Cortina and the Edge Browser or F.E.B. as it gets referred to, by me, when I accidental launch it at work. I’m staying put for now. I’ll deal with the end-of-life issues when they occur for Windows 7. Death is a part of life.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Like you, I have been a Microsoft user since DOS on the original IBM PC with two floppy drives and no hard drive. Microsoft has not fared well as of late. Their products are second rate, bloated, not user friendly, and just plain a waste of our precious time. My next computer will be a Mac. Sorry, Microsoft, you have worn out your welcome. I have two pineapples at the door (some may get that reference).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can’t quite consider showing Microsoft the door just yet. I still have a day job and it revolves around their products. I know that pineapples are a symbol of ‘welcome’ but I’m not sure how you’re applying it here. I’m intrigued :)

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Mitchell kept hitting NO then that crappy thing MS did where it asked a double negative and it loaded. WORST. OPERATING. SYSTEM. EVER. I cannot get that b**ch Cortina to take a hike. She comes back. So if Isis, the feds, etc, are infiltrating through a system it has got to be Cortina. And also, the resources the entire thing takes. Blood boiling.
    I have a new Mac and I think MS has programmed it. After years on a mac I want to toss my very expensive new system daily.
    I’m ready for a new computer company. Maybe Adobe will get the message.
    God you got me going. I had to go back and clean up my contractor potty mouth.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I guess they can all be bad, Kate. Microsoft seems to excel at being consistently bad. If you’re really up for a new sheriff, it might be Google – although I’m not sure I want that either.


  13. I’m so glad I wasn’t alone. Sorry for your pain. I’m still with Windows 10 and I have an unusual something that makes my computer blink and everytime it blinks the cursor resets. I’ll be typing along and suddenly realize I have no cursor and have lost the line. This also happens in Apps. Can’t figure it out.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Do you have a touch pad on that computer? Worst invention ever, IMO. I activily work to disable 80% of the functions of that thing. It doesn’t do what I explicitly try to make it do, but if a hangnail brushes up against it, it moves the cursor into the lower reaches of the screen.

      I’ll keep using Windows 10 at work and Windows 7 at home. At least I have my sanity, such as it is. – Thanks John.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. It’s comforting to know that you pros have computer troubles too , that it’s not just us IT ignoramuses who suffer through this stuff. Sorry , though , for your problem. Maybe the pain /frustration is worse for you .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Dan. The part that bothers me is watching them needlessly eliminate features that added something nice to the experience of using Windows 7. The only reason I can think of for some changed is “branding” which is no reason at all in my book.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. I had switched from Windows 8.1 to 10. I can’t even really remember when because of memory problems, but according to my husband it was at the first of this year, January or February. I had bought Windows 8.1 at the store so I have it on DVD. This put my mind at ease when I downloaded 10 from Microsoft. I went ahead and tried Edge and Cortina. True, both are kind of worthless. Sometimes I want to scream and go back to Windows 8.1. The thing is that because I don’t have a DVD for 10, I don’t switch back. After all, 8.1 made me want to scream sometimes too. I want perfection, which, of course, I can’t have.

    Dan, when you have the time, take the visual tour of Windows 10, just for fun and giggles. Then explore the program a little more at your leisure when you’re not uptight about anything. You’ll find how to make Cortina sit in her corner and not say a word. You’ll find the add-on that will help you with your specific downloads and uploads.

    This technology is delicate. It isn’t like working with a building.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do use Windows 10 at work. Prior to (I think today) you were allowed to disable Cortina. The most recent upgrade will not let you do that. Working in technology, specifically, developing software for a living, I resent any software manufacturer including unwanted features as an irrevocable default. My expectation of an operating system is something that sits in the background and lets me work. I feel that way about the Apps that Apple won’t let me delete from my iPhone and the things that Windows won’t let me remove from the operating system’s configuration. I don’t mean to bark back, but this is a thorn in my side on a daily basis. It affects me and my users, but I have to take the flack that my users wish they could direct at Microsoft.


          1. I knew it wasn’t personally directed at me. I have issues with Microsoft too, and I know I won’t be getting them resolved to my satisfaction. Sometimes I think about Chromebook, but then that means dealing with Google–heaven forbid.


  16. Ah, I was expecting to read a full post on chilidog- I’m yet to try it.
    Strangely, I don’t recall consciously clicking on the Windows 10 icon, so I must have done it by accident. I’m still getting used to it. Cortana is lodged at the bottom of my screen and I dare not click and respond to “ask me anything”. I’m still getting to know Windows 10.
    Enjoy that third chilidog, should you decide on it :-)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. I appreciate the permission to go overboard. Windows 10 became part of the regular Windows Update process, unless you closed that avenue. I use it at work, but we were able to disable Cortana. Apparently, you can’t do that any more so I guess she might be in my future.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Ohmigosh, this is hilarious, Dan. Well, maybe not for you…

    I have Windows 10, but it was already installed on the laptop I got at Christmas time. Thank God I didn’t try to install it on my HP Touchsmart that was seven years old. I think it and I would have had a meltdown of epic proportions. One of my friends told me Windows 10 started to download on her computer and she didn’t even ask it to do that. It must have been the bad witch. I use Cortina very, very sparingly. When I want to look something up, I go to Google…unless Windows 10 tries to force me to use Bing. No thanks, I want my Google.

    I’ve just recently worked with the photo program that comes with Windows 10. Strange at first, but I’m getting used to it. Now, if Windows 10 would take all of my photographs, categorize them, and put in appropriate folders for me, I would be super impressed. So would Dorothy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Mary. If I could say “Cortana, sort and file my photos” then yes, I’d sign-up. I use Windows 10 at work, where it was pre-installed. I’m OK with it, which is why I started the upgrade. But when what I was getting was so far from what I expected, I pulled the plug. Ding-dong the…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We’re always behind at work…still on Windows 7 there, which is okay. The tech people and administration have been busy in the last year switching over to PeopleSoft and e-forms and SharePoint and Business Objects and whatever else they can think of to get us somewhat current. Our systems and programs were very antiquated for far too long – the downside to working for government, perhaps.

        Liked by 1 person

  18. My husband and I “upgraded” (not sure that’s even the right word) to Windows 10 a month or so ago. We aren’t super-users, but we want things to just work (and, I agree with you: just sits in the background). Although I wouldn’t return my retirement badge for anything, I do miss having an IT department — and a whole lot of tech-savvy co-workers — who could help out when needed. I noticed that Windows sent me a “Welcome to Windows 10” email yesterday “designed to help you get the most out of Windows 10.” I wonder if it could help me get Windows 10 out of my computer…?

    Liked by 1 person

  19. I ignored “Get Windows 10” every time it popped, which was way too often. After the deadline, I thought that I may have missed something. Now I’m happy I didn’t install it. I like Windows 7. I use AutoCAD 2013 all day and it doesn’t run on Windows 10. Thanks Dan.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Peter. I was worried about TurboCAD. I don’t use it often, but it was critical to get this building permit application out the door. When it wouldn’t let me access my drawings, I got scared. I guess the only danger is that they stop supporting Windows 7. I’ll probably have a new laptop by then and it will probably have Windows 10 pre-installed. I’m OK with the OS, it’s the upgrade that was awful.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Egads! I’m sorry to hear your upgrade didn’t go well. He-Man upgraded my seldom used laptop from Win 7 to Win 10 first. After using it for a couple of weeks to make sure everything transferred and worked he upgraded my PC while I was out on an all day photography excursion.

    Knock on wood it’s working for the most part. I’ve had the screen freeze a couple of times on the PC, and two of my photo editing plug-ins didn’t make it over. I had to install them manually.

    I liked Windows 7. It worked, but then I liked XP too, and didn’t want to move to Windows 7. I hated Windows 7 in the beginning. It nearly brought me to tears during the first few days of using it, but it grew on me once I got it all figured out. At least the learning curve from 7 to 10 has been almost nil.

    I hope I like it as well as Windows 7 in the end.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Dan, I cannot fault your logic on getting the pre-installed version. I upgraded from a W 8.1 machine. It only took all day and despite the long time frame otherwise was fairly painless. I still end up searching the web to find things windows has hidden. Cortina was turned off immediately. Between microsoft always pulling things its way and the tech departments at work pulling the other way I am just as happy as a clam crushed between two tectonic plates. It was only a little while ago we got off of XP. The philosophy goes something like this. Accounting is still using the abacus so we all need to use the abacus. Oh the vendor software requires W7 64 bit and you want to be able to test and support it ? Too bad. I won’t even get into the madness that describes our remote desktop environment. On a personal level I really like the way the W10 signon process gives you time to enjoy an extra pot of coffee if you fat finger the signon. Let’s send the request out to Jupiter and back to teach him to key properly ! Now if you will just give us permission to link your account to your garage door opener and your old church key… did I mention I absolutely love MS. Or is it the other way around ? MS has taught me to love Absolute. The heck with the coffee ! It might be the only thing causing me to appreciate them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love this comment John. I’m imagining my users at work saying much the same thing. My understanding is, that with the next major Windows 10 upgrade, Cortina can’t be disabled. I doing like having stuff forced on me for no reason. It’s not like the feature actually ever helps. Most people are pretty good with search. PS, we bounce your signal off of Voyager 1. The reason it seems to take longer is because Voyager continued to fly away from us.


      1. Fly away is the correct description in oh so many ways. And now that Toto is lost and on his own I hope he can talk one of the monkeys into giving him a lift back to Kansas. What really bums me out is that the new release of these ruby slippers is subscription and even though I am paid in full it does not seem to recognize that. So there will be no clicking whether it is 3 times or a 1000. And I am not sure this is even Oz anymore…

        Liked by 1 person

  22. I know I am very very late to comment here but better late than never. I am probably in the same boat as you. I love Windows 7 and I believe it is better than the latest Windows 10 which I am now using on my new Dell laptop. MS is now trying to go the Apple way, having more control over what users should use. The new Windows is aligned with the latest Intel chipsets to improve performance, but I seriously doubt its compatibility with older laptops and PCs.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Sharukh. I think the thing that bothers me the most is the fact that I can’t get rid of Cortina and Edge. At work, I have the benefit of a second monitor so the stuff I don’t like, I leave on the smaller laptop screen. It’s like the junk Apple forces me to have on my iPhone, I move them all to a third or fourth page that I never use. At home, though, I just have the laptop screen and I don’t want it cluttered with stuff I don’t use and I don’t want to have to fight with the OS to get my programs to work. It should be my choice.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, you do it, but there’s no enjoyment. It’s been so long since I looked forward to upgrading any piece of software. I’ve been working in this field forever and I really think we missed the point.


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