Put That Phone Down, Let’s Talk

If we were having a beer, you’d be buying…for a change.

“Hey geek-boy. I’m glad you’re here. Cheryl, pour that man a Yuengling.”

“Geek-boy? Let me guess, you’re having problems with your laptop, and it just happens to be in your car.”

“No, no, nothing like that, I need to pick your brain about V2V.”

“Here’s your beer Dan. It’s not too late to get this in a sack to go.”

“Thanks Cheryl. V2V? Should I just start babbling, or is there something in particular?”

“Like you’d have a problem babbling? I heard them talking about it on the radio, I was just curious.”

“It stands for vehicle-to-vehicle, as in communication. It’s part of the whole Internet-of-things thing.”

“Please, don’t work yourself into a geeky froth.”

“I’m not sure this beer is adequate payment.”

“Cheryl, when he’s done with that one, put a refill on my tab. Let’s try to start this conversation, again.”

“In a nutshell, V2V will allow vehicles to communicate safety and mobility information amongst themselves. That could reduce congestion, prevent accidents, who knows? Maybe save a few lives.”

“I’m not sure I want my car talking to other cars. What if my car tells your car something I don’t want you to know?”

“You drive a Jaguar. It probably wouldn’t talk to my Jeep.”

“Good point. You have to stay in the right lane, like in high school.”

“Actually, it’s limited to information related to vehicle control.”

“Removing control from the driver? What if I want to run a red light?”

“Is that really an option worth preserving?”

“It is. Sometimes, you have to break a minor traffic law, in order to avoid an accident.”

“Yes, but if your car is talking to the other cars, you aren’t going to be in those situations.”

“Why not just let the car drive itself? What do you need me for?”

“They’ll get there, soon enough.”

“That’s shortsighted. Studies have shown that driving is good for your mind. This is another case of you snap-heads doing things because you can, without considering if you should.”

“Snap-heads?”

“You didn’t seem to like geek boy, so…”

“OK, let’s not say ‘driverless’ – let’s say you have a guy driving a truck but there are nine driverless trucks following him. That would be efficient. It would be like a train.”

“You and your trains. So nine people forget how to drive?

“People forget how to do a lot of things. Then they learn how to do other stuff. It’s called progress.”

“Speaking of progress, you’re not making any, Dan. Let me pour you that second beer before he takes back his credit card.”

“Thanks Cheryl, but he did ask for the information. I’m not looking forward to any of this, I like driving.”

“It’s not just driving. You know what else you can forget? You can forget Cheryl. At Chili’s, they have digital Cheryls. Sign-in, order, pay, tip, complain… all to a box… Is that what you want?”

“Whoa! Stop with the digital Cheryl’s please. You can’t replace this pretty face and delightful banter with a box.”

“You might have a point, Cheryl, but does anyone care? I mean there’s us two relics, but I’ve seen this bar packed with people staring into their cell phones. They’d be fine with Cheryl-in-a-box.”

“Sheesh, keep talking and I’m gonna pour myself a drink.

“Let’s not send Cheryl over the edge. I think you’re overreacting a bit.”

“You think? Remember driving with the window down and mooing at the cows in the fields? When was the last time you mooed at a cow?”

“I love mooing at cows. When Faith was little, I even got a cow to moo back.”

“Ha, well consider a little girl in the back of a self-driving car. She’ll see a picture of a cow on a screen. She’ll touch the cow and the car will play the sound a cow makes.”

“You know, you can do that now. It’s like a digital See & Say.”

“You’re missing the point, there’s actually a cow outside the car. An honest to goodness cow, but the car would ‘see’ it, not the girl. I’m telling you, it’s the end of communication as we know it.”

“You’re sure you’re not overreacting?”

“I don’t think so. I think we post photos instead if describing people and things. We post video instead of telling stories. The human race could actually forget how to tell stories!”

“Seriously? Not overreacting, even a little?”

“Nope. In twenty years, if this bar is still here, I’ll bet no one will be talking.”

“You know, there’s a bar in England where the owner offers no WiFi and blocks cell signals. He’s forcing people to talk.”

“Really? That sounds wonderful. Cheryl, they should do that here.”

“We’re halfway there. We’ve never had WiFi, and if you’re on Verizon, there’s no signal here.”

“I am painfully aware of those facts Cheryl. I guess my car won’t be revealing any secrets in your parking lot.”

“As long as your credit card works, I’m good. Thanks for the beers, AND for the conversation. I’m going to drive home while I can still see the cows.”