At the Bar with Star Trek

Humor, If having a beer, Star Trek 108 comments
For the love of beer
The perfect place and beverage to share some casual conversation.

If we were having a beer, you would be picking on me…again

“So, how did you celebrate on Thursday?”

“Huh?”

“Thursday. I heard that it was the 50th anniversary of Star Trek. I thought you would have done something special.”

“Ha, no. We had a Board Meeting at work. I don’t think a Star Trek theme would have been appropriate.”

“What about after work? The original episode didn’t run until 8:30 pm.”

“Listen to you with the facts and figures. I guess accountants can be geeks after all.”

“Financial advisor. For the umpteenth time, I am not an accountant.”

“You’re also not a geek, so where did you come up with the Star Trek trivia answers?”

“NPR.”

“Oh for the love… Cheryl, we need some alcohol, stat. I’ll have a Yuengling and program the replicator to serve up some Meiomi.”

“And, you can put this on my tab Cheryl.”

“Truly, where no man has gone before.”

“Are you guys are talking about Star Trek?”

“He was just about to enlighten me on the series. He’s barely watched it, but he listened to a recap on NPR.”

“They treated the show with the respect, I suppose it deserves. They listed things like the number of episodes (725), the first star date (1513.1) and the number of movies (13). They also recognized the lasting effect the franchise has had.”

“Wait, you’re looking at your phone, do you have those facts written down?”

“Of course I do. You think I was going to remember that stuff?”

“I was beginning to wonder.”

“Here you go guys. One beer, one Meiomi. Be careful, these aren’t Synthehol.”

“Wait, so you’re a Trekie too, Cheryl?”

“Original series, big fan. Next Generation, not so much, but if it’s on, I’d watch.”

“What about you, all 725 episodes?.”

“No. I’ve seen every Original Series episode, numerous times and every Next Generation episode several times, but I wasn’t a big fan of the other spin-offs.”

I would have thought you would have liked Voyager. I saw an episode of that once, and the captain had Irish Setter puppies on board.”

“Janeway, Captain Janeway had an Irish Setter back home. In fact, her name was Mollie, same as our third Irish Setter. Q tried to seduce her once, with a litter of setter pups.”

“He was the omnipotent guy? The recurring character, right?… They mentioned him on NPR”

Q and Dr. Crusher as an Irish Setter
Q and Dr. Crusher as an Irish Setter

“Yes, well played by John DeLancy. He also turned Beverly Crusher…”

“Who?”

“Beverly Crusher, the best doctor on Next Generation. He turned her into an Irish Setter once.”

“Best doctor on Next Generation? I take it that means not best doctor of all time.”

“That would be Dr. McCoy – ‘Bones’ – best Star Trek doctor, ever. You guys want to order any food?”

“I’m with Cheryl, Bones was the best doctor. Actually, I’d put the holodeck doctor on Voyager at #2.”

“So, are you with Cheryl that the original series was the best?”

“The original series holds a lot of good memories. I used to watch that with my college roommate.”

“Is that the guy who died in his 20s?”

“Yeah, huge fan of Star Trek. Tony never saw Next Generation, but would have loved it for the technology alone. I’ve watched almost every STNG episode with my daughter, so that’s special too.”

“OK,  you geeks have determined the best doctor. We have a split decision on the best series. I don’t want to start a food fight over captains. How about ‘who was the worst character’ can we…?”

“Wesley Crusher!”

“What she said, Wesley Crusher.”

“Wow, Cheryl, you sound adamant about that.”

“The only good thing Will Wheaton ever did was Stand By Me.”

“So, what’s the deal with Star Trek? Why does it still matter 50 years later?”

“It’s optimistic about mankind. That’s a good thing.”

“You guys want another round?”

“We do, Cheryl. But first, do you agree with my young geeky friend’s opinion about the optimism of Star Trek?”

“I do, but they also know how to laugh at themselves, at least in the Original Series. That’s important. They also respect other life forms, even more important.”

“Like non-trekies? I ask, because this is all we’ve been talking about. NFL football started Thursday, too…just sayin’ ”

“You know, that’s funny. They mentioned once that people were still playing baseball in the 24th century, but I don’t ever recall them mentioning any other sport surviving that long.”

“Damn, this is hopeless. I am outnumbered, 2 to 1.”

“Look, this only happens once every 50 years. You can handle it.”

“So, next week, football?”

“Make it so.”

That’s Mollie, our previous Setter, doing a little victory dance after catching the Frisbee
Original Series Cast – Wikiepedia
Mollie loved to play Frisbee
Original Series Enterprise – Wikipedia
The crew of Star Trek Voyager
For Cheryl – wikipedia
The Enterprise-D from Star Trek Next Generation – Wikipedia
My TOS era phaser
Research material
Just in case I have to travel
Yes, I own a Captain Picard action figure. And it’s pronounced “fig-ur” just so you know.

 

108 comments

  4. This one was fun reading, Dan. We loved “Star Trek” in our household and would order pizza or make popcorn, as if it were the best thing to watch weekly. My eyes sometimes rolled but together-ness reigned. :)

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      1. Thanks for sharing great memories of your watching with a roommate, Dan. I sometimes watch an episode but have enjoyed the younger characters in the new movie version series. The last Star Trek film really got me teary-eyed remembering Leonard Nimoy and the young man who played Chechov (accidental death?) in the new film.

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  6. Oh boy, where do I start with this one…
    1) 1,000,000 bonus points for a Star Trek and beer post
    2) 50,000 bonus points for the football mention
    3) I’ve watched all 725 episodes at least twice, but probably three or five or ten times with the original and STNG.
    4) My favorite critter was Spot the cat. I should subtract bonus points for you not mentioning Spot since you are a cat guy too.
    5) -10,000 bonus points for no mention of the holodeck. That’s my favorite feature of every Enterprise, DS9 and Voyager. I want one of those…every morning when I wake up, a nice looking gentleman would serve me coffee or tea inside the holodeck, while on a warm, sandy beach, and tell me how awesome I am.
    6) Funny, but I was thinking of Star Trek’s optimism and how the Star Fleet crew tried to accept every species they ran into, even the Borg. How wonderful would the world be if everyone had that kind of optimism and acceptance?
    7) I’m giving you back your -10,000 bonus points for not mentioned the Borg. No, no, no, I insist. Resistance of blogger gifts is futile.
    8) I might be headed to the Star Trek convention in Vegas next year. Might is the key word.
    9) I can hardly wait for next week’s football post.
    10) Live long and prosper.

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    1. I knew I’d hear from you, Mary. I almost mentioned Spot. My favorite scene is where Worf is going to watch him while Data is experiencing his dreams. “…and you must tell him he’s a pretty kitty” “I will feed your cat” “Perhaps that will be enough.” I did mention the holodeck Doctor…No points for that? I watched a lot of Voyager, less of DS9 and almost none of Enterprise. All tallied, I’m up over a cool mil of bonus points, so I’m good. Have a great weekend – LLAP

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      1. The scene with Worf, Data and Spot is hilarious. Worf is sooooo serious, but that’s what adds to the charm of his character.

        You should watch Enterprise…if no other reason than to make fun of the intro song and “the grappler.”

        Okay, 10 bonus points for the holo doctor. Have an awesome weekend Dan!

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    2. Holodeck scared the crap outta me. I would not have gotten on the damn thing because I know what can go wrong! On the other hand, as I’ve started reading “Beer” (as we refer to Saturday’s post) aloud and M says that the holodeck is all around us and then he went off on his mystical-zen-hindu thang (also my thang) reminding us that our lives are actually a hologram and now I’ve confused you all with that diversion. Anyhow, he got no argument from me.

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        1. Ha – I shouldn’t tell you that my wife brings me a cup of coffee in the morning. She doesn’t linger and she doesn’t comment on how wonderful I am. And, the big red fur ball is up on the bed to lick my face into awake. I may still need the holodeck.

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          2. Wow. I have to train M differently. I get up earlier and put the kettle on (no matter what he says) and have to wait because he makes better coffee than I do. Seriously. Sometimes I have extra from the day before that I sneak into the fridge so I have it to nuke. He is disgusted that I will do day-old-coffee.

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    3. Your mention of the Borg reminded me of Assimilation Canadian Style. Maybe it’s not as hilarious to you as it is to me, but I still laugh out loud at the last line. SOOO Canadian!

      Good evening.
      We are Borg.
      Resistance is impolite.
      Please wait your turn for assimilation.

      Pour l’assimilation en français, veuillez appuyer sur le «2».

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    1. You’re fine Amy. I know that Star Trek, Technology and Sports posts don’t appeal to all of my readers. I appreciate your hanging around, at least looking at the pictures. Mollie was the cutest setter ever. She was a total sweetheart and we miss her to this day. Maddie is NOT Mollie!

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      1. Oh I knew that already, Dan, about Mollie. Every special pet is unique and just looking at Mollie’s pictures really made me gush because I could feel how much you missed her. I know the feeling well, believe me! <3

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    1. Thanks Cheryl! If you notice the caption, I picked that photo just for you. I even rearranged the gallery a few times to give him a prominent place. Next time, we might be boring you with football. Any faves? Pro or college, doesn’t matter.

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  10. And wow, quote. I’m honored. And I emant every word. One thing Sheldon Cooper and I have in common. I loved Data as far as NG goes. And Lamar Burton’s character. I always watched him on that Saturday kid’s show too. Can’t believe I missed the Thurs airing though. Didn’t know about it. I have been working such long hours. Happy but tired. I loved the movies and although Wrath of Khan is my favorite, I do love the one where they rescued the whale. You know me…..
    I’m still trying to get my tricorder to work. Guess I’m still on my mission..sigh.😏

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  14. Ah, the original Star Trek! I never got into the later ones much. What I find amazing is the foresight the writers/producers had – who knew back then that we would now have cell phones very similar to the communicators used in the original series? And, of course, we now have digital communication by which every citizen can send photos and video in real time, and chat via Skype and other services. I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before we’ll all be able to “beam up” – I can hardly wait (although I’m not sure my old[er} body could withstand the stress of being separated into atoms and then reassembled).

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  15. One of your best. We are reading them aloud before the Saturday Market now, and the hardest part is stopping for the comments from the peanut gallery (Mitchell) and he really did a whoa about:
    “So, what’s the deal with Star Trek? Why does it still matter 50 years later?”
    “It’s optimistic about mankind. That’s a good thing.”

    He went on and one about kindness to others, that hopefulness about our future in terms of knowing that humankind might come to be smarter and better at dealing with the unknown, that baseball is obviously the best sport a it survives… and, I learned that he stays up late watching Trek spinoffs after I fall asleep. Thank you for that. I am looking at my husband differently this morning.

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  16. Oh, the phaser is very cool, Dan! I have a TNG one that I drove my parents crazy with. It has a different sound for “stun” and “kill”. I’ll let you guess which one got used the most. And ha, at first glance, I once again thought that was a toilet next to Picard. I have the Riker (of course!) from that figure series and he came with a shooting phaser and I think a briefcase of all things. I remember as a kid thinking, “A briefcase? They’re in outer space fighting aliens in the future and they gave him A BRIEFCASE? What’s he supposed to do with that?” I guess Picard’s laptop is a bit better, but still. :P

    When it comes to Star Trek though, I think the REAL question is: Commander Riker — beard or no beard?

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    1. Without the beard, he looks too much like Wesley’s roommate. That “toilet” is a laptop and the cup is for “tea, Earl Grey, hot”. I don’t think
      My phaser has different sounds. We had a Star Trek themed Tosstmasters meeting and I fired it instead of using a gavel. A briefcase??? What the…

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  19. Sassy had Star Trek emojis on her social media the other day and I did not. Seemed odd to me, why some and not others. My husband would have used them…
    Never was a Trekkie. Not to say I didn’t like the television show, cause I did. Lots of Sunday reruns for me, but I was never a Trekkie.
    There was a movie where the thing crawled into the guy’s ear and I never recovered. I’m making The Mister watch the new one before me.

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  20. Mollie was a beauty, Dan! I love her happy dance. I am not a fan of science fiction but I do love Kate Mulgrew in ‘Orange is the New Black.’ She is good. BTW, that figure or fig-ur…it’s not pronounced ‘doll’? :)

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      1. I never watched it as a kid. Wasn’t allowed to and we probably didn’t have it anyway but my granddad did once they got it on German TV and that shattered my view on him entirely. That was the last thing I expected him to watch :-)

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    1. That’s a pretty good episode. I had the clip but I forgot to add it :(

      She was a good doctor, but the mom stuff was tough to take sometimes. I also really liked the “bedside manner” of the doctor on Voyager.

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  23. I watched Star Trek as a kid but it never really stuck. Been thinking it might be my next binge-watch. My brother-in-law is a huge fan and has all the dvds. My sister made him a Starfleet uniform once.

    And I have a collection like your Star Trek one only mine is for Doctor Who. The Twelfth Doctor travels with me in the CARDIS.

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  25. I’m one of the very few who was never a Star Trek fanatic. I did watch the original series when it was new, but that was because my brother had it turned on the one and only TV we had. By the time the second generation of it came into our living room, I was into writing poems about the injustice in the world. Star Trek was the last thing on my mind. Haven’t wrote a poem since then.

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    1. Actually, Star Trek, especially Next Generation, visited the theme of injustice in the world quite often. It’s one of the reason I’ve always liked it. That said, it’s not a show that appeals to everyone. I won’t revisit Star Trek here for a while, but I couldn’t pass up this opportunity. Thanks for taking the time to comment Glynis. Ever think about sharing any of that poetry? Just curious.

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      1. I would share them but they vanished in one of my many moves. It could be that my Greek landlord has them now. They were all tucked away in a spiral. I kept it with my tax stuff when I was a single parent. However, when husband [new at the time] and I went to Crete while he was active duty, things got all jumbled around.

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  26. You whippersnappers! I was a teenager when STOS aired! I never got into — or, in most cases, never watched — the subsequent versions. I watched some of DS9 because I’m a Rene Aubernenois fan. NATURALLY, I adore Boston Legal, with him AND William Shatner.

    #4 Daughter showed me a bunch of Next Gen, and I love Picard, Data, Geordi, that bad Q, Guinan, Chief O’Brian, Hello Kitty — I mean Deanna Troi, Riker playing jazz … just about everybody except Diana Muldaur.

    Original Series wins, though, for Harry Mudd.

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    2. Harry Mudd? I never would have thought he would be an attraction, although he played the role well. I was almost a teenager when the original series started, so not so whippersnackery. Diana Muldaur was not a good doctor. Did not like her character, at all.

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  27. Love Star Trek…ironically I am just now catching Deep Space Nine! Have watched all of the spin offs except for that one. Heard the new movie is good, haven’t seen it yet! Got my youngest hooked on Star Trek at an early age…only one of the girls that like sci fi!!

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  28. Another great post, Dan. I like your Picard doll and toilet the best (teasing!), but it’s all fun. Like millions of people, I’ve been a Star Trek fan all my life, and I think it’s because of something you refer to: the optimism, which is in such short supply these days. Roddenberry and Serling were very much kindred souls in that regard. And let’s not forget the simple fact that it’s colorful and fun. I remember playing Star Trek as a kid — my parents’ back porch was the Enterprise, and the back yard was each new planet I visited. Great way to exercise my imagination in the pre-Internet, pre-device world. And here I am, years later, having seen and enjoyed “Star Trek Beyond”. Live long and prosper, indeed!

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    1. Thanks Paul. The laptop does look like a toilet, but I wish Wendy hadn’t made a point of telling me :( Star Trek and Twilight Zone touched on many of the same issues. In the 60s, I think they stood out as using television differently. They also did a good job of working on a budget. Both shows made you think, and both have remained relevant for 50 years, which is remarkable.

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  31. This is embarrassing for me, Dan. I have to admit I don’t know enough about Star Trek to come up with a reasonable reply, let alone witty. I did relate to Stand by Me and I could have related to the Mary Tyler Moore Show or even Red Skeleton’s.

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    1. Oh, don’t be embarrassed Janet. I was fully aware that I’d have some readers shaking their heads with this one. I just couldn’t resist. I loved Mary Tyler Moore (I really loved Lou Grant).

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  32. I’m the 99th guy to comment. Well, this time I couldn’t relate to the topic much because I have no clue about Star Trek and Star Wars. However, I understand that the original version must be the better one. It’s the same situation here. Earlier tv series were so much better compared to the junk that is broadcast these days. Thankfully, I don’t have a television at home.

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    1. I appreciate your stopping by Sharukh. The spin-offs from Star Trek were all pretty well done, but some had very specific story lines that were hard to follow. I prefer shows that I can move in and out of without having to watch every week in order.

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  35. Thanks JoAnna. I prefer the older series, I had some trouble with Voyager because I traveled and missed a lot of episodes. I like the fact that I can watch any original series episode without having to worry about what happened before.

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