One-Liner Wednesday – Thanks Greta

Please drive to the highlighted route

Yeah, I get it. I’m in a parking lot, and Greta, my GPS, won’t be able to help me until I can get to the main road. Of course, once I get to the main toad, I know where to go. Maybe the next generation GPSs will have parking lot information.

Note: I am aware of the (toad) typo, but I have to leave it here in support of David’s comment.

Actually, I didn’t need Greta for this trip. I was driving to Burlington, MA, a trip I’ve made dozens of time. I plug Greta into her base to watch for traffic. Make that listen for traffic. She and all the other GPS units like her let the mothership know how fast they’re going. When enough of them slow down, in an area where they shouldn’t slow down, the algorithms at the home base start sending out traffic alerts. Midway between Sturbridge, MA and my destination, Greta beeped, warned me of a severe delay and offered to route me around it. “Make it so!

If my meeting had been a week earlier, I would have had fall foliage from the I-90 corridor to share. The photos will show that I missed the peak color. Oh well, I wasn’t sightseeing.

This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s fun weekly series One-Liner Wednesday.

One Liner Wednesday


    1. I get a lot of “recalculating” I want to be able to say “but there’s a beautiful door over there!”

      I was routed up 495 and down to Burlington to avoid some big mess on the Mass Pike. Sometimes, she just pops up a little delay message. Sometimes, she goes crazy. I always listen when she’s crazy.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Can’t resist this because of the Cockney Rhyming slang we have discussed over the years. The slang for road is – “Frog and Toad”. Is that what your sentence “Of course, once I get to the main toad, I know where to go.” is referring to.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hmm, these days we’ve stopped using GPS units and just Google maps instead. Seems to work just as well. Guess the “Greta” on Google says the same things – “you are on the fastest route, considering usual traffic conditions”…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. GPS is so wonderful! I am not sure how I ever made it around without it before. It certainly took a lot more planning and studying of maps that’s for sure. I was cracking up at the no sanitary facilities sign. What an odd sign! I would have had to pull over for that too! Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You receive 500 bonus points for “make it so.” You knew that would happen, right?

    Have you ever switched your GPS to the British person and driven around the area? It’s interesting how we speak the same language and, yet, we don’t. When I first got my GPS, I had a difficult time trusting it…until I realized that the non-trust was not helpful. I listen to her now.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was hoping for those bonus points :)

      I’ll let you know when I am actually able to get Greta to respond to “Make it So” and “Engage”

      I had the British woman for a while, and I had Yoda for a while. He’s comical – “In 500 feet, left you should turn” … “Left you should turn, but not to the dark side.” But, the main Garmen voice now includes “enhanced navigation” which is what allows Greta to say things like “you need to get off of this road now!” If I switch voices, I only get the visual warning. Of course, I’d prefer Riker’s voice saying “Shields Up – Red Alert!” but that’s not available. Maybe in the next generation :)

      I fear I may have just lost my bonus points.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Oh, on the contrary. I’m giving you an extra 500 bonus points for the Riker red alert and next generation groaner. LOL! Why has no one created a Star Trek Garmin? We could listen to all of our favorite character’s voices. When we go off track, we could listen to Tuvok or T’Pol tell us that we are not being logical. Or Seven of Nine could tell us to turn around and comply because resistance is futile. Wouldn’t that be fun?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. It would be great! Imagine when you’re trying to pass a truck on a steep hill, hearing Scotty say “The engines cannot take any more” – Of course, I might be inclined to try stuff just to see what they would say :)

          Thanks for the extra points!

          Liked by 3 people

          1. I want Scotty’s voice! I switch from “Stuck Up Stephanie” in a nano second. :)

            After Randy my first GPS system kicked the bucket, I got Simon who had a British accent. He was hilarious trying to be suave by adding a Spanish accent to all the Spanish cities and names of streets around where I live. Stuck-up Stephanie is rarely funny, but she’s accurate.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. I would switch from the current voice for Scotty, but the “official” voices do give more information. It was funny listening to her try to pronounce Coraopolis, PA, the town near where we were staying when we visited Pittsburgh – It’s actually pronounced Cori-op-o-lis – but you’d never get that from the spelling. My daughter thought Greta was doing a better job than my brother or me.

              Liked by 1 person

  5. The best and brightest tree scenery around the city is on the west side of the interstate. Lots of warm autumn sun! Of course, stopping on I-465 is not recommended, especially not at rush hour twilight! :)
    Glad you had a safe trip, thanks for sharing more fall foliage!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh, heck. No worries. I wish I had a nickle, or more adjusting for inflation ha ha, for every typo I had made. I really did not notice it. Just this last Saturday I typed is is…:) I know I will have typos in the future. Here’s to typos!!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. What? Your facilities are sanitary??? I’m out of here. My husband uses his GPS all the time, or at least when he’s out of our general vicinity. I rarely use mine at all. Besides the quote you mention, “Recalculating” is probably the most often heard comment. One useful thing is that the GPS will show the speed limit and then if your speed is over that, highlights it in red. In the Chicago area, that’s a lot of red…unless traffic is stopped. :-)


    Liked by 1 person

  7. I thought I missed your post today, Dan. *sigh* Hey you did get some fall color. The last image especially is wowowowow gorgeous! And Greta …. what ever happened to the fold out fan or the trip tic maps? Um yep I’m dating myself but I used to LOVE those trip tic maps. I should have saved the ones I had. I bet they are worth some money now being known as ancient history. Hehehehehe Loved the litter sign …. we need more of those! :)


  8. It sounds like you and Greta have a good relationship. My GPS, Karen (aka The Bitch), is now dead. For the record, I did not kill her, but I considered it on more than a few occasions. She was rarely helpful to me when I needed it most.
    Now I just drive around blindly … me and Greta. Yes, my car’s name is Greta. She’s my fat-bottom girl … and just in case you aren’t already a Queen fan …


  9. We have a true love-hate relationship with our GPS. For one she is too loud most of the time. If we deviate she keeps trying to get us to make a “U turn at the next legal place”. And if we hit snags our ETA automatically readjusts to depressing….that must have been SOME parking lot Dan.

    Liked by 1 person

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