One-Liner Wednesday – Bargains

Customer Service, Humor, One Line Wed 68 comments

“Just take it, it’s free, just go! Have a nice day.”

Last week, I was in Target to buy some candy. Not for Halloween, for the candy bowls on my bookcase. I’ve talked about this before, I have candy on the bookcase by my door. People depend on that candy being there. If you think 10, 20 or 30 ghoul’d-up 8-yr-olds are scary, you should see a lawyer reaching into an empty bowl where Heath Bars should be.

I couldn’t find Heath Bars at Target.

I decided to check the aisle with the Halloween candy.

I found them.

I also found giant bags of Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkins. These are really Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs and Footballs. It doesn’t matter. They have the perfect ratio of peanut butter stuff to chocolate. Then, I saw a “text ‘CANDY’ to Target and save $2” smartphone deal. I texted. I got a coupon. I didn’t know how to use it.

I have a point.

Not knowing how to use the $2 coupon ruled out my using the self-serve checkout.

That shouldn’t be a problem. Target has 18 checkout lanes. The problem is, they only have three cashiers.

There are three open registers. The 4th light is the self-serve.
There are three open registers. The 4th light is the self-serve.

I am lousy at choosing the best line. I never get that right. So, I picked one that didn’t look too bad and I made peace with my decision.

As the cashier was ringing up the final item of the people in front of the woman in front of me, she discovered that there was no price tag. No bar code. No nothin’. She was quickly informed that that item was the last of its kind. A soon to be extinct fluffy item, with no price. She called for a supervisor.

I gave quick consideration to switching lines. A quick right, scoot between the front and back station and I’d be at a cashier who was just finishing a sale. Then he called for a supervisor. As I pulled back into my line and reestablished peace with my decision, the elderly female customer at the register across from me started yelling at the clerk (who then called for a supervisor).

Three cashiers. All in panic mode. Customers backing up into Jewelry.

The supervisor arrived on the scene. She queried the male cashier first, because he had called her earlier with this same customer:

“What’s wrong now?”

“It’s still not taking the code.”

“Then it’s free. Take it. Put it in your bag and go!”

Then she turned her attention to the cashier in my line.

“What’s the problem here?”

“This is the last one of these and it doesn’t have a tag.”

“Then it’s free. Put it in the bag. Go, have a nice day!”

She zeroed in on the elderly woman across from me. This woman was on a tear. She had recently linked her credit card to her Target card but she wasn’t getting the promised discount.”

“I want this thing unlinked from my credit card.”

Note: this went on for a while.

“Just give her 5% off the sale. 5%. Now. Have a nice day.”

I didn’t know which one to use as a one-liner.

Also, since I used some of my Target photos in an earlier post, I’m including a group of somewhat random photos in the gallery below.

I know. One-line. Yeah, I blew it. But, my coupon worked. I saved $2.

I serve a purpose.
The first tree to turn
The bees are a little slower these days.
You’re not planning to sit here are you?
A-73 to B-17 at Detroit is a haul.
When your flight leaves before Dunkin’ Donuts opens, it’s a bad day.
I love driving by this tree when the leaves are backlit by the streetlight.
The red car is simply broken down inside a construction zone.
We bought some new gear for the season.
We love the black squirrels.
Totally random. Cemetery, barn, old trucks.
The leaf that several people liked on Monday, is under Maddie’s head
Fall in the park
How can you not like this guy?

This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s fun weekly series One-Liner Wednesday.

One Liner Wednesday

68 comments

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Lois. By the time the supervisor got to the checkouts, people were mumbling “just give her the…” The elderly lady was pretty funny. She was accusing Target of just trying to get her credit card information, spouting off “I’ve heard about these scams…” It was a complete meltdown.

      We have a few families of black squirrels in our neighborhood. They are just so cute, and they seem to know that :)

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  7. That’s a great store manager…quick on her feet, good decision maker. I would definitely shop that Target, although it seems they need additional clerks at the checkout lines. I’m also lousy at picking lines in the store. Always choose the wrong one. On the other hand, it’s a good exercise in patience.

    My co-worker has a “candy corner” at her workstation. Most of the time, one can find gummy bears and worms. She used to keep Hershey dark chocolate almond nuggets in a bowl, but I asked her to keep the chocolate out of view. It was too easy to grab one and go…several times during the day. I’ve switched to keeping the 80% dark in my drawer, which doesn’t seem to be as much temptation.

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  8. Hah! I love supervisor lady, and the cemetery with trucks, and your reestablishing peace with your decision, and I never want to go anywhere or do anything before the Dunkin Donuts is open! :O How wretched!

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    1. Ha ha – given the number of flights that leave at or before 6:00 am, you’d think that DD would open earlier. I’m glad you liked the cemetery photo. I took it out of my fall photo post(s) but I really like it.

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  9. I love the black squirrels. We don’t have black ones around here. I shop at Target and have found the same problem, not just at Target, I hasten to add, so I sometimes go to the customer service counter where they will also ring up your purchase. I generally go soon after they open which helps, too. But I usually seem to choose the wrong line as well. :-)

    janet

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    1. We have always had a couple of families of black squirrels in our neighborhood. They are adorable. I usually pick what seems like an OK line and I brace myself for one problem. Sometimes, I get lucky, but not very often. I’m not sure whether to be happy or sad that it isn’t just Target.

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  11. “the candy bowls on my bookcase” — what got me here fast was, bleary eyed (no coffee yet) I read, “candy bowels on my bookcase.” WTH is a candy bowel, I thot? Then I cracked up because of the bars you couldn’t find at Target for you lawyer — “I couldn’t find Heat Bars” as I have a couple lawyers in my life I’d like to give some HEAT. Still laughing at candy bowels….

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  13. Love the Target supervisor’s decision making skills – Bravo. Beats the heck out of all the ones who freeze up like a deer in the headlights and can’t make a decision, the minute they’re thrown a curve.
    I like your random collection of pics, especially those black squirrels. We have a few of those around our place and it seems they’re a bit rowdier and tougher than the gray ones. Or maybe that’s just me… I always think their dark fur looks like shiny little leather jackets ;-)

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  14. Oh, I LOVE that backlit tree as much as I hate stores with 18 lanes and 3 cashiers. And that supervisor is golden. The goods cost less than the lost time and lost sales from customers who just give up and leave without buying anything. She’s brilliant. The black squirrels are treasures! (So, of course, are Maddie and the cat.)

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    1. Thanks Marian. I have seen the tree with leaves, snow and ice but I can’t always stop for a picture. It’s on a main road with no shoulder. The cat is one of my brother’s two boys and I’m not sure he likes it when I visit. Eventually, he sits on my lap.

      Liked by 1 person

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  17. Free is always good, $2 coupon is nice and descriptions of no clerks annoying. I prefer not to self serve.
    Dan, black squirrel, cat and Maddie were favorite animals and black tree with orange glow behind simply gorgeous! :)

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  18. What a supervisor! Impressive to say the least! Love that line take it it’s free. I would have gawked and said pinch me … is this really happening? Love love love your photos, Dan. And thanks for several laughs … so covet those laughs!! <3

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  20. Pingback: You don’t hafta call me darlin’ … | Old Guy Walking

  21. Love your story, and the pics with captions! The black squirrels are so cute!
    I don’t like Target to begin with but that was a funny story! Wish I could find a supervisor at our Walmart like that. 😉

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    1. Thanks Kim. I’m not sure the supervisor had the authority to act as she did, but it was the right thing to do. I’ve never seen anything like it. I’m glad you like the black squirrels, they always grab our attention.

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  26. So which one do you prefer? Target? Costco? Wal-Mart? Any other? In terms of rates and quality and overall shopping experience. Over here we have D-Mart and it has really taken over the competition. The prices are low and the quality is good. I believe 75% of the families in Vasai get their groceries and monthly household items from here. They have 12 counters for checkout which is obviously not enough, so I look for the shortest queue and let Sarah stand there. I take the cart and stand in another short queue and then we keep a close watch on who gets to the counter first. This way we don’t have to wait longer. We do that for all queues like railway tickets, movie tickets and so on.

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    1. I prefer Target. The Wal*Mart by us is a super Storr but it’s ugly inside and they have stuff piled everywhere. We do shop at Costco but not on a regular basis. Target is close. We shop at times when these places aren’t too crowded.

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      1. Wal-Mart was going to come to India, but they later on pull out the business saying that Indians are fraud and that they don’t like the way Indians work (bribes and labor laws) and I was like what? Isn’t Wal-Mart criticised for the same issues in the US? I have read so many negative things about Wal-Mart on the internet. Yeah, I don’t like shopping at crowded places so I usually pick the sunny afternoon hours when most people are in the comfort of their apartments.

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  28. Pingback: One Liner Wednesday – From My Editor | No Facilities

  29. Hi Dan, it’s been a while since I dropped by :-)
    When I saw your sentence about Heath bars, my mind went straightaway to the bag of mini ones I have in a drawer that I bought for MYSELF. Goodness, I hope they’re not stale. Now to your Target check-out line, I wish I was the recipient of that free item!
    Nice collage of photos – I see you have one of my favorite coffee shop.
    Have a great week!

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