First things first. You see, I don’t post on Sundays. Second, because what’s the point of saying ‘first’ first if there isn’t a second? Second, I don’t post twice in the same day. When Linda released the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, on Friday, I already had Saturday’s post written, edited – which Linda doesn’t allow – adorned with more than the usual number of photos and scheduled for its appearance at 6:04 am. Third, well, anyone who has ever visited No Facilities on an #SoCS Saturday, knows that I’m a sucker for bonus points…
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “first/last.” Use one or both words, or find words that mean the same. Bonus points if you start your post with “first/beginning/start” etc. and end with “last/end” etc. Enjoy!
What’s a boy to do?
In this case, the boy decided to follow an established precedent. Yes, this happened once before, way back in 2016. Joey took over one week when Linda was visiting the Pope, or attending the coronation of the Queen of Canada or something. Anyway, like today, I mean yesterday, I had already written a post for Saturday. As with that prompt, those pesky voices in my head started running away with today’s prompt. Faced with the same, no second post/no Sunday post dynamic duo , remember them? Batman and Robin? Biff, Pow, Whammo. Remember Whammo? Actually, that was Wham-O. I remember Wham-O from when they invented the Super Ball.
The Super Ball was an amazing toy that ushered in a dynamic duopoly of fun and trouble. That ball bounced higher than anything else on the planet. After my father gave it to me, I unwrapped it and bounced it once before he issued a very stern and specific warning – “do NOT hit that thing with a bat!” – How well that man knew me. Still, he didn’t tell me and my friend Mark not to throw the ball from the 50’ (15 ¼ m) terrace behind our mutual neighbor’s house. Paul, the mutual neighbor, had a paved driveway. We figured we could bounce the Super Ball over Paul’s house if we threw it hard enough, from high enough.
We were wrong.
We did manage to bounce it through Paul’s bedroom window.
After paying for the replacement window out of my next many allowances and making me clean up all the glass, my dad took the super Ball away. He returned it a few days later, with a much longer list of more general stern warnings. Basically, “don’t do anything (else) stupid with this thing.”
I took the Super Ball to school with me the following Monday. Lots of kids had them. I attended a large school that was actually two attached buildings. Jefferson Elementary and Jefferson Junior High. The schools shared a cafeteria but we had to eat lunch in shifts. After lunch, the teachers escaped to the Teacher’s Lounge and we kids waited outside our locked classrooms. Several of us decided to see how many times our Super Balls would bounce between the walls of the hallway. We didn’t consider that the walls contained lockers. The resulting clatter from half-a-dozen Super Balls smacking the lockers might be why they called the company Wham-O.
Anyway, back to Linda and Joey, and my #SoCS problem, I solved it by exploiting a space-time trick. #SoCS hails from a different time zone, although Joey doesn’t. That means that I can publish a post very early on Sunday and still have it be Saturday without posting twice. I figured I could use this trick again today, I mean yesterday, because I was going to be watching the Twilight Zone Marathon. What a better time to play with time.
Earlier today, I mean yesterday I kinda-sorta promised I wouldn’t post more than four times a week in 2017. The first four posts of 2017 are already well on their way to being written. If I schedule this for 11:59, it won’t be 2017’s first post, it will be 2016’s last.