Taxes, Tips and Time of Sunrise

If we were having a beer, you’d be picking on me, from the start.

“Hi Cheryl. It’s his turn to pay, but you might want to get his credit card up-front, I hear he hasn’t been paying his bills.”

“You wouldn’t stiff me for a couple Coronas, would you Dan? You are still drinking those bad hombres…right?”

“Yes, I mean, no…sigh, I mean yes I’m still drinking Coronas, and no, I won’t stiff you. And. For the record, I always pay my bills.”

“Not according to the people at Piggy Boats.”

“I love the way you cherry-pick my blog posts just so you can pick on me.”

“Why else would I read them?”

“I like to think they have some entertainment value.”

“They do, I find this very entertaining. Cheryl, put a glass a Meiomi on that tab, but seriously, think about collecting it soon.”

“I think he’s good for a couple of beers, maybe even some wings.”

“Suit yourself, I’d want to see his tax returns before I made that leap.”

“That might not happen.”

“Following the lead of our President?”

“No, battling another unfriendly company.”

“Who are you not paying this week?”

“Not, not paying. They aren’t selling.”

“Huh?”

“Turbo Tax. Intuit won’t sell me Turbo Tax.”

“What are you talking about? Staples has a big pile of Turbo Tax for sale.”

“Deluxe, Turbo Tax Deluxe, and Premium. I didn’t see Turbo Tax Basic, that’s what I’ve been using.”

“What’s the difference?”

“I don’t know. I can’t even find a decent comparison of the two versions.”

“I hate Turbo Tax. Why don’t you just switch to H&R Block?”

“Is that what you use?”

“Yeah. I used to use Turbo Tax, but you’re right, they make it hard to buy what you want, so I switched.”

“Were you able to import everything?”

“Easy peasy.”

“Connect to your W2 online.”

“Of course, who doesn’t do that?”

“Same price?”

“Cheaper, at least when you switch.”

“Here you go boys. Meiomi and Corona – with our signature hunk of lime shoved in.”

“Thanks Cheryl. So why don’t they want to sell you Basic?”

“I don’t know, they’re always trying to sell you the next higher level. Even when you use it, they keep suggesting that you upgrade.”

“You didn’t call the people at Turbo Tax…did you?”

“I did.”

“After everything you went through with Piggy Boats? Why didn’t you just switch to H&R Block?”

“I’m lazy. I know Turbo Tax. I’ve been using it since 2004.”

“Still, you have to consider your stress level.”

“I just checked a box to get a call back from them. A guy called in less than five minutes.”

“Did he sell you Basic?”

“It took a while, but he says he’ll ‘push a copy down to me’.”

“How long is a while?”

“About 30 minutes.”

“Thirty minutes? What’s wrong with you boy? Time is money…”

“Not around here, unless you start drinking that wine, finish that beer and order some food. That first round was on me.”

“Sorry, and thanks Cheryl, he’s getting carried away. Bring us another round.”

“Food?”

“Wings, Barbecue with Parm-Pep.”

“Calamari.”

“Thanks. Now, before I leave, what’s the deal with your taxes? Are you getting a refund or do you owe them money?”

“I told you I’m good for the tab, Cheryl.”

“I know, but April 15^th falls on a Saturday this year. I’m trying to figure out if I should take the day off.”

“Don’t worry. I usually get a little money back. Besides, it might be his week to pay.”

“Let’s hope not. Anyway, I always have to pay, because of the tips.”

“I never get money back. I like it that way. I don’t enjoy lending the government money for free. But, I’m curious, why do you hope I’m not paying that week?”

“Like I said, because of the tips.”

“I shouldn’t suffer because he tips more than he should.”

“I tip the right percentage, but I add the price of the drinks she gives us into the base for her tip.”

“I never thought of that.”

“Probably why she never buys us a round the weeks you pay.”

“OK, here’s your wine, your beer and your wings. And, for the record, he might be right about those free drinks.”

“Message received. Oh, and I meant to say that I liked your photos this week, particularly the absence of the Connecticut River.”

“Funny you should mention that; I have some new ones to show you. It’s been getting light earlier”