I have written about salespeople lying to me, too many times to link to. Still, it’s not only continuing, it’s getting worse. I expect lies about products and features: “This copier will meet all your copying and scanning needs forever.” “This is the lowest price you’ll ever see on this product.” “This car has the highest resale value in its class.”
The copier doesn’t perform. The price drops by 15% next week and the car is in a class by itself in so very many ways.
What I don’t expect, and what I have been experiencing more and more often, lately, are blatant lies about alleged recent events that involve me. Personal stuff, that I can verify. It’s like these people are counting on the fact that I have a pi**-poor memory or that I’m going to confuse them with someone else. These contacts come in email and over the phone. Actual human beings call me and say things like: “It was nice meeting you at…” or “Hi Dan, we spoke earlier this month and you asked about…”
The increase in the number of these events had me thinking of a clever comeback. That’s when I remembered the place where I’ve learned all I really need to know…Star Trek
“A Lie Is A Very Poor Way To Say Hello.”
— Edith Keeler
That’s from: “The City On The Edge Of Forever,” Stardate Unknown, from Star Trek, the original series.
Captain James T. Kirk is trying to explain why he broke into the basement of the mission house the Edith Keeler (played by Joan Collins) is in charge of.
The gallery has a few photos from one of the best episodes of that series. Yes, this post is an official review, so my interpretation of those pesky copyright laws tells me that I can use them. Spoiler alert, if you never saw this episode, Kirk falls in love, Spock performs heroic acts of science, somebody dies and the universe is saved from destruction. Before we get to the gallery, let me share something from the lying sales cycle that at least provides entertainment value.
Our voice mail system uses Microsoft Speech-to-Text technology to provide me with “readable” emails of the voice mail I’ve received. Unfortunately, some of the salespeople don’t command a strong grip on the English language and carry a heavy accent from the land of their birth. No offense intended, but I love messages like this:
Live long and prosper!