One summer, when I was working for the Post Office, one of the stops on my route was the state psychiatric hospital where my mother worked. She was a switchboard operator, and she worked in the Administration Building where the hospital’s post office was located. One day, while delivering the mail, I saw a young woman and I was smitten. Unfortunately, she was not interested in knowing me.
I asked my mother to introduce us. She did, and that went nowhere. I pitched for the softball league she played in, but I was not able to get on base with her. I discovered that I worked with her brother, and I asked him to set us up. He tried, and failed.
One day, when I was delivering the mail, she approached me and asked if I would do a favor for her. I thought that was my big chance. Do her a favor. Impress her, and she would have to go out with me. I was convinced that if she got to know me, we would fall in love. I asked about the favor.
“I parked under a tree last night, and I left my car window open, and a snake got in. It was on the seat this morning. I tried to shoo it out but it crawled under the seat. Would you get it out for me?”
There were so many things wrong with that scenario, not the least of which was that she had driven to work in a car with a snake under the seat. I considered my options and I offered to set her car on fire. Beyond that, I wasn’t interested. Needless to say, we never dated.
Fortunately, the only animals my wife has me dealing with are cute and fuzzy.
This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s fun weekly series One-Liner Wednesday. I know, even the one-liner wasn’t one line. I’m sorry, but I’m under my normal word weight. You can follow this link to see the one-liners from the other participants.