One-Liner Wednesday – How Many Es in Eeew?

Let me start with a great big disclaimer: I don’t normally take my cell phone into the Men’s room at work and I have never taken a picture in there. OK, that’s not true, I took a picture of a disgusting scene (near the trash can) once, with the thought of sending an email to the company across the hall from us. I never sent the email and I deleted the photo.

Don’t ask – just don’t

I’ve been carrying my phone with me these past few days, after falling in my own bathroom, like a security blanket. Of course, I know that if I fell, the phone would break or slide to a point where I couldn’t reach it, but this is what you do to convince yourself that you are once again in control of your surroundings. Replace ‘you/your’ with ‘I/mine’ and you get the picture I don’t want to share.

So, I took my phone into the Men’s room, fully planning not to use it. Upon walking into the stall, I snapped (and cropped for your benefit) the photo at the right, thinking I might use it for a light-hearted “things you’d never expect to see’ post. Then, after getting, ah, um, er, situated, I heard the one-liner I can’t resist sharing:

“Excuse me, did I leave my water in there?”

I am ending this story right here.

This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s fun weekly series One-Liner Wednesday. You can follow this link to see the one-liners from the other participants.

Today’s gallery includes a variety of photos from my office window. They are replacing the roof on our building. Am I lucky, or what?

 

About Dan Antion

Husband, father, woodworker, cyclist, photographer, geek - oh wait, I’m writing this like I only have 140 characters. I am all those things, and more, and all of these passions present me with opportunities to observe, and think about things that I can’t write about in other places. I have started this blog to catch the stuff that falls out, overflows and just plain doesn’t fit the other containers in my life.
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84 Responses to One-Liner Wednesday – How Many Es in Eeew?

  1. bikerchick57 says:

    LOL! Eeewww! LOL! Don’t worry about the correct spelling of Eewww – use as many E’s and W’s as you’d like. The grosser the scene, the more letters that are allowed. From personal experience, I can tell you that the womens’ bathrooms can hold a bevy of grossly interesting and messy sights. But I won’t mention details here. Let’s think about puppy dogs and sunshine, okay?

    Liked by 4 people

  2. dweezer19 says:

    Ooooh…hiw many o’s are supposed to be in that? Lol a crane! Your day started out perfectly. And speaking of making short work of that load…I try not to bring anything into a stall that will be consumed, unless it is in my suitcase at the airport…and maybe not even then. I have done what I needed to while holding my stuff if the “situation” is questionable enough. Sometimes you don’t even want your purse to touch the door! Happy Wednesday Dan.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dan Antion says:

      Traveling alone so often, I understand your contorting behavior. Yeah, I try not to take anything in. The worst I’ve seen, and I see it a couple of times a month, cause the guy works across the hall, is a guy, at the urinal, with an apple.

      But the crane was an awesome treat :)

      Like

      • dweezer19 says:

        How did I know you were going one step further with food in there? 😱Try the main employee bathroom being IN our breakroom?! Yeah uh I use the “management r” restroom.

        Like

  3. Nothing better than a large crane outside your window. Remember when they replaced the pilings on the waterfront outside our window. kept me distracted for weeks!
    http://bit.ly/2tLPUHz

    Like

  4. quiall says:

    hahaha Men and their toys!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I live with boys. You can’t outgross me with toilet photos.
    I’m very careful if I take my phone in the toilet. I’ve dropped it in there TWICE. (Exactly, to the day, two years apart. My husband thought it was a deliberate ploy to get a new phone at the end of the contract.)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. GP Cox says:

    The amount of E’s in Eeew should be equal to how long you stretch it out – in my case – about 10 E’s. I just might add a YUK or two with as well!! :)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. ghostmmnc says:

    Eeewww is right! Did you hand over the bottle of water? I’ve been asked through the door if they left their phone in there. They had. I handed it over after I was done with my business. :)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Joanne Sisco says:

    Like MOSY, I’m pretty hard to gross out after growing up with 2 older brothers and having 2 sons. It falls in the same category as ‘show no fear’. They can smell it and use it against you ;)

    Two of your captions made me laugh out loud. “As soon as I got to work, I knew it was going to be a good day” and “Later in the day, they had to move the crane closer to my desk”. Yeah, I’m guessing you were a little distracted all day ;)

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Almost Iowa says:

    Can anyone really get any work done while the roof is being replaced? I mean…..big trucks coming and going, cranes lifting things…. these things demand attention.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. dennyho says:

    I do believe I’d go buy another bottle in this case…Did you roll it out to him?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dan Antion says:

      Ha ha – I thought about doing just that! I acknowledged that the bottle was there and left it for him to recover on his own…or not, up to him. But yeah, I would have written that one off.

      Like

  11. loisajay says:

    I love the ‘No Access’ guy. Women are prone to sharing toilet paper under the stalls. I have heard many an interesting conversation in the Ladies Room, also. At that point, I must get out in a hurry. Seriously? This could not wait until you are out of the restroom?!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I totally get taking your phone with in case of emergency. Been in that stall myself.

    Like

  13. Glad you are feeling well enough to be back at work. Hope they figured out why you fell so you can avoid it in the future. I’m guessing you’ll be challenged to get much done because you’ll be watching that crane. :-) I like your balcony. I’d be moving my laptop out there. Now, grab some gloves and dispose of that water bottle. Ewwwww.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Steve Weissman says:

    Suddenly, I feel a little flushed …

    Liked by 1 person

  15. AmyRose🌹 says:

    Oh my gosh whenever I use a public bathroom I am so conscious of what NOT to touch. Ewwww is right about that water. Gross! And I got a kick out of the “no access” picture, Dan. Someone certainly has a sense of humor. Hope your head is feeling better! 🌸

    Liked by 1 person

  16. JT Twissel says:

    That is a good one!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. LindaGHill says:

    Haha! That’s so funny. And to answer the question in your title, I’m thinking about 43.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Ha, ha, ha! I like it, Dan. Nothing like a bit of potty humor to raise people’s spirits. :-)
    Hope you’re feeling much better.

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

  19. I can’t imagine having the stones to ask someone if their water was in the throne room. EEEEEEEEEEwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

    Liked by 1 person

  20. EEEWWW! But funny! I wouldn’t have wanted the water back.
    I loved that you got to see a crane at work almost all day, and that No Access guy. I want him! :)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dan Antion says:

      The little guy is one of our enginneers

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dan Antion says:

      Well they didn’t go well. I was trying to backspace but hit send. I wouldn’t have wanted the water either it was gone later, but I don’t know who took it. The little guy is one of our engineers ;)

      The crane was fun to watch. I would have had better pictures and video but we weren’t allowed on balcony and we’re not allowed to raise the shades :(

      Like

  21. Totally unrelated to your post, which I enjoyed, I have a small request. Since you’ve changed your site a bit, I’ve noticed when I read your posts via phone your blog doesn’t switch to phone view anymore. Do you plan on enabling that feature again?
    Thanks, Dan.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Dan Hen says:

    I hope your head accident isn’t affecting you too much . :)

    Liked by 1 person

  23. simonfalk28 says:

    Brings new meaning to watering hole. :) Hope you are feeling better now.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. joey says:

    Oh.My.Worrrrrd. I think the amount of Es in ew is unlimited, and varies depending on the ewness of the circumstances. I choose to believe the bottle owner merely wanted to empty it, onto a plant of course, and then recycle it. That’s what I choose to believe.
    Oh and, charming captions :) Crane day must have been dreadful for you ;)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dan Antion says:

      You’re a good soul to believe such things. I’ll go with your version, but I’m adding an ‘e’ or two. Crane day was amazing. The cranes always set up outside our balcony (large paved area) but they are usually here for a pick and then gone. This guy was here, almost the entire day. I’m sure I did some work…if my boss is reading, I know I did some work, lots of work.

      Liked by 1 person

  25. John Holton says:

    I never thought of bringing water into the the toilet with me. I’m usually in there to get rid of water… I think you can put as many “E”‘s in it, as long as you use at least as many “W”‘s, e.g. EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!

    One place I worked, we used the handicapped bar as a magazine rack.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dan Antion says:

      That happens in there as well. It’s a pain if you need to use the rails. Our neighbors run a training facility. The days they have classes, the men’s room looks like a gas station

      Like

  26. reocochran says:

    This really distracted me, Dan. I had to think of that warning on a website of how many feet away from a tier flushing a toothbrush should be! I actually moved a cup, toothpaste and brush to the kitchen. No real flushing there! :D
    The crane, the crane made me think of the show, Fantasy Island with the shorter man standing by Ricardo Montalban said, “De plane!” or “Ze Plane!” This was a fun post but it took me off on a tangent.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. reocochran says:

    tier = toilet
    Believe it or not! (Thanks to Don Adams and Get Smart!)

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Aunt Beulah says:

    It was a perfect one-liner and, of course, and had to be shared. Thanks for realizing that and giving me my Saturday laugh.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Sandi Staton says:

    Funny post. I used to clean the church/school restrooms. Some scenes I don’t like talking about, let alone posting a picture! But I encountered one commode in the men’s restroom where some kid smeared Ben Gay all over the toilet seat and another kid sat on it.

    Like

  30. Sandi Staton says:

    Oh, and I forgot to mention, that the kid who did it said it was something that the custodian (me) had cleaned the commode with. Ben Gay was never on my cleaning cart!

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Paul says:

    No. Just NO. That water is gone, fool. I mean … wow.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Laura says:

    Oh lord, Dan, now I can’t stop laughing…

    Liked by 1 person

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