I thought so.
OK. The one-liner, courtesy of my (I normally say ‘our’ but it’s ‘my’ for the purposes of this post) daughter, comes after she substituted wax paper for parchment paper under some biscuits while baking. The wax paper kinda-sorta caught on fire.
“I figured out why the biscuits weren’t turning golden brown. I turned the oven off after the fire and forgot to turn it back on.”
You gotta admit, that’s a pretty hard statement not to feature on a Wednesday.
The disclaimer comes in two-parts. First, the substitution-of-similar-but-not-identical-things gene
Second is the propensity-to-set-things-on-fire gene. They both seem to arrive via my contribution to her genetic makeup.
In fact, the one-liner I was planning to use came in an email from my brother, after he finished cleaning our mother’s apartment:
“…the microwave will have to go to resource recovery since the stains from the fire won’t come off.”
The refers to the second fire my mother had in a microwave.
I’ve set a few things on fire in my time, including the hillside that was our backyard. I set that on fire when burning paper trash (we could do that when I was young). Ironically, I had won a school-sponsored fire-prevention contest the day before. The night Faith was born, I came home from the hospital and tossed some leftover pizza in the oven. A couple days later, when I brought the family home, my wife asked: “what’s burning?” Then, of course there was the Great Thanksgiving Turkey Fire.
As for the substitution genes, when I was a college sophomore, I decided to make a batch of chocolate chip cookies. I didn’t have backing powder, so I substituted a slightly different white powdery-like substance…salt. Those cookies were hard. Hockey puck hard.
If you’re still confused, maybe the diagram will help. The photos in the gallery were collected on a recent trip to Boston.