Where Is Everybody?

For the love of beer

The perfect place and beverage to share some casual conversation.

If we were having a beer, you’d be amazed that the bar is empty.

“Where is everybody?”

“I’m here. Cheryl’s here. I have a tab open. Who else do you need?”

“Well, I’m glad the tab is open, but the parking lot is full. I had to park on the street. I was expecting a crowd.”

“They’re outside on the patio. This is when I really appreciate you guys hanging at the bar. Here’s your Yuengling, Dan.”

“Aw, thanks Cheryl. We’re not made for the sun.”

“I guess I wasn’t expecting the sun to come out today, it started out pretty gray.”

“We were dead here until about 45 minutes ago. Then we got so busy, they called in an extra waitress.”

“Ouch, does that cut into your tips?”

“It eliminates my tips, unless you guys come through for me…no pressure. You are going to order, aren’t you?”

“I am. I just haven’t decided.”

“If you haven’t ordered by the time I order my second beer, I’m closing the tab.”

“A glass of Meiomi, Cheryl, and keep that tab open, I think we’re ordering some food.”

“Red wine. I guess that rules out mussels.”

“You can have mussels. It’s not like we’re on a date.”

“I’m gonna stick with wings. The last time I had mussels, I think I wore a bunch of the white wine and garlic home.”

“Momma gets it out with A L L?”

“It took several attempts. Almost ruined one of my Pirate shirts.”

“Not much of a loss, there. Do you suppose you jinxed them?”

“Hey hey hey, don’t be disin’ on the Pirates. They’re only five games back, and they’re due for a win streak.”

“Why do you torture yourself? The only reason they’re only five games back is because the NL Central is the worst division in baseball.”

“Last I checked, your precious American League East wasn’t much better. Just because one team isn’t running away with the lead, doesn’t make the division bad.”

“I think this conversation needs more fuel. You guys want another round?”

“Thanks Cheryl. I’m done with this subject, but that still sounds like just what we need.”

“Careful, you might spill that beer on your precious shirt.”

“At least I’m not afraid to represent my team in public.”

“Enough already. You’re the only two in here – you can’t be jackasses.”

“Jacki.”

“What?”

“The plural of jackass is jacki.”

“Really?”

“No, not really. That’s just the made-up word he uses, Cheryl. You were correct.”

“I don’t know, I kind of like it. Jacki. I may start using it.”

“Don’t do that. You’ll encourage him.”

“Wow, did you get up on the wrong side of the bed today?”

“What? No. Why?”

“You’re in a mood, you’re grumpy.”

“I’m just mad about the parking. I don’t like leaving my car on the street.”

“So, go move it. There are spaces in the lower lot.”

“I don’t like the lower lot. People pull in there for take-out and block the cars.”

“For two minutes. What’s your hurry?”

“The spaces are narrow. I don’t want my car to get dinged.”

“I park there all the time. I’ve never gotten dinged.”

“You did get dinged, someone backed into your front fender.”

“You’re right, someone did, but I had that fixed a couple of years ago.”

“I would have sold the car; it’s damaged goods.”

“Damaged goods? From that ding? I had it repaired when I had to have the back bumper replaced. Remember, that guy backed into me?”

“I remember, and then you creamed the front bumper. I’m telling you, you should trade that car.”

“It’s been repaired, no lasting impressions, I want to get at least another year out of this car.”

“Then you should be more careful about where you park.”

“Said the man whose car is parked on the side of a busy road.”

“Stop it. I’m nervous enough as it is.”

“Here’s your beer and your wine. You know, you’re probably better off on the street than in either of these lots.”

“Why do you say that, Cheryl?”

“Cause I’ve been selling a lot of booze today.”

About Dan Antion

Husband, father, woodworker, cyclist, photographer, geek - oh wait, I’m writing this like I only have 140 characters. I am all those things, and more, and all of these passions present me with opportunities to observe, and think about things that I can’t write about in other places. I have started this blog to catch the stuff that falls out, overflows and just plain doesn’t fit the other containers in my life.
This entry was posted in Humor, If having a beer, Perspective and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

67 Responses to Where Is Everybody?

  1. Pingback: Where Is Everybody? — No Facilities – Basqueisce

  2. hilarymb says:

    Hi Dan – a long story, a lot of beer and then those grisly misty days and the cemetery … I’ll take the beer please! Cheers Hilary

    Liked by 1 person

  3. dweezer19 says:

    Ha! Men bicker more than women! 😜Hubby is the king of parking persnickety-ness. I make us leave thirty minutes early than just because of it. Beautiful photos. I love cemeteries a y time for photography. Nice job.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. John Hric says:

    I thought you said the fog was lifting. Cheryl just contradicted you. You know selling a lot of booze today. If we were debating and rambling ( a synonym for having a drink ) we could have another round and discus that point. As for the pirate shirt – there is a pirate hat which says ‘scars are tatoos with better stories. Which leads directly to the next quote ‘arrrrr you drinkin or tryin to make a fashion statement ! ? ! ‘ Now I think I will have a mug of that fog lifter… and wander out into the garden.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. marianallen says:

    Wonderful photographs! I’m a fan of cemeteries, me. Cave Hill in Louisville is practically a theme park among cemeteries, full of gorgeous monuments and Famous Dead People. Your pictures are filled with the beauty and peace I find in such places.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I always enjoy these Saturday exchanges. :-) Love the foggy cemetery shots. :-)

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Val Boyko says:

    Some lovely catptures Dan. I don’t find the, spooky at all, just restful ☺️

    Liked by 1 person

  8. AmyRose🌹 says:

    Your gallery really grabbed me this morning, Dan. And as for those dings, you sound like hubby who has me programmed to park in the furthest parking spot from where the majority are parking so I do not get dinged. So far I’ve not got dinged. And neither has he. Parking on the street? *shudder* 😘

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dan Antion says:

      I’m glad yo liked the photos, Amy. I don’t like parking on the street, but I will take a convenient spot, unless it’s cramped or next to a car with 50 scratches and dents. I have been dinged, but the car survived.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Joanne Sisco says:

    With all that booze being sold, I hope there are designated drivers staying on the sober end of the scale!

    All your foggy morning photos fit our gray skies today. Happy Saturday, Dan!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dan Antion says:

      Thanks Joanne. Our week was filled with gray skies and foggy starts. Cheryl is pretty good about not letting folks get into trouble. But, if you’re nervous about where you park your car, maybe you shouldn’t visit a bar.

      Like

      • Joanne Sisco says:

        Actually I’ve learned from experience that parking lots in shopping malls aren’t great places either :/
        I see that part of the problem is trying to cramp too many cars in. The road way and the parking spots are getting tighter and tighter … kind of like airplane seats :/

        Liked by 1 person

  10. quiall says:

    What can I say? I love the expletive ‘jackass’! It just rolls off the tongue and is great when mumbled!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. bikerchick57 says:

    Sorry I’m late to the bar. I was at the gym, then had to eat and sit out on the patio with coffee. Where’s my beer? I would like a nice chocolate porter, please. I’ll pass on the food, trying to keep my girlish figure. You shouldn’t whine about parking in the street. As long as your car is safe. Actually, you should have parked it further away and got some walking in this morning while you were trying to think. Just sayin…

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dan Antion says:

      You’re welcome any time, Mary. Cheryl will keep a light on behind the bar. It’s funny that you mention “a nice chocolate porter” – the guy next to me one day last week was asking what the darkest beer they had was. It was an IPA. They poured him a sample. He looked at me, and I said “nope, that ain’t dark.” The manager says dark beers don’t sell well. That’s fine for me, but you might be sad. Maybe I’ll have to have you stop by some Saturday.

      Although the post launches at 6:04 am, I’m not at the bar until after completing a good day’s worth of work. I have also ridden my bike past the bar way before it opens. I should walk farther, but I’m taking those wings to-go, and a little something for the editor, so…

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Terrific Saturday post, Dan. Loved Cheryl’s comment at the end. Your foggy cemetery photos could get me inspired to work on the second book of “Atonement, TN” again… If work didn’t keep me drained. Speaking of which — the “plural of jackass” part cracked me up. What would you call a whole herd of them? I mean there’s a pod of whales, a murder of crows,… wouldn’t jackasses have a name for a group of them? I guess this was my own SOC. Happy Caturday to MiMi and MuMu. Hugs on the wing.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dan Antion says:

      Thanks Teagan. I have some wonderfully foggy photos from that cemetery. If you’re ever in need. Thankfully, I haven’t had the need to refer to more than a few jacki at a time. I’ll have to give that some though, it would be better to be prepared.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I love the foggy gallery today!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Almost Iowa says:

    “I think this conversation needs more fuel. You guys want another round?”

    THAT is a great bartender.

    Liked by 3 people

  15. Wendy Brydge says:

    That final cemetery pic is a beauty, Dan!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Paul says:

    More good pics, Dan! I especially like the foggy cemetery ones. Well shot, particularly the last one.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. JoAnna says:

    You never know when the sun’s going to come out. It can surprise you sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. joey says:

    Wow, misty, foggy photos so pretty :)
    Our van is dinged-up real good. Dents and scratches galore. Sassy will drive it about a year from now, and I like how it’s done been broke-in for her. I wouldn’t consider selling a vehicle on account of some dings. I don’t mind parking on the street, but I think half of our dings are from grocery carts in parking lots :/

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dan Antion says:

      Sounds like a perfect car to start Sassy with. Shopping carts (I grew up calling them buggies) are nasty. The people who let them roam free are jacki. I’m not going to worry about a few dings and scratches.

      I’m glad you liked the foggy photos.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. JT Twissel says:

    Looks like San Francisco! We drive older cars so that getting dinged isn’t as traumatic!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. People drive crazy nowadays and worse if they’re drinking. Everybody is getting dents. I had someone hit and run. :)

    Liked by 1 person

  21. reocochran says:

    Your photos of the fog in the background of a cemetery were great, Dan. The sunlight just awakening, shining on a tow of graves was such a wonderful shot.
    I love cemeteries and wish I could do another series of them. I found those hoary frost crystals on a hoary, foggy morning awhile back. . .
    Your water photographs with Hartford, from the park and off the bridge were fantastic!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. reocochran says:

    tow = row
    You may not believe this, but I do proofread! Lol

    Liked by 1 person

  23. C.E.Robinson says:

    Dan, reading this I’m in the fog! I need a beer, and I don’t drink! Worried about Cheryl not getting tips! It was a fun post. Christine

    Liked by 1 person

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