
If we were having a beer, you’d be in a foul mood.
“I have a bone to pick with you.”
“Great. Save it for a while, we’ll order some wings later.”
“No, this is personal.”
“Oh geeze, before you guys get into it, could I interest you in an adult beverage. I hear it’s ok to have one every day.”
“Yuengling.”
“Meiomi.”
“Well, there’s a surprise. Who’s got the tab?”
“It’s going to be the man who tried to embarrass me on the Internet.”
“Ooooo-Kay.”
“Hold off on assigning that tab until I have a chance to defend myself. I’m not even sure what I did.”
“There’s no defense. Maybe you aren’t aware, but I read Ellen’s blog.
“I wasn’t aware. I’ve never seen you comment.”
“I don’t comment on blogs, I just read.”
“Lurking in the shadows, huh? Here’s your beer, and your wine.”
“Thanks Cheryl.”
“Did you want to order those wings?”
“Not yet Cheryl, we’re still waiting for him to realize that he’s paying.”
“Paying? I still don’t see what this has to do with me.”
“You read Ellen’s blog, and you do comment. I read your comment and I wasn’t impressed.”
“Are we talking about the same Ellen? Notes from the UK? Her latest post was about Weetabix.”
“Yeah, and you replied by raggin on Shredded Wheat.”
“So what?”
“You know that’s my go-to breakfast. Why are you hatin on my cereal?
“Vanity, thy name is jackass, and this beer’s on you.”
“Butchering Shakespeare, who never even wrote that vanity thing, isn’t going to help.”
“My point is that just because something I say resembles you, it doesn’t mean I’m talking about you.”
“What could you possibly have against Shredded Wheat?”
“It’s an old story.”
“How old? We talking years?”
“Yes, about 55.”
“55 years? Must be a seriously sad story.”
“Look, it’s a sad story, but it’s not like that stuff is actually good.”
“It’s good for you, something you wouldn’t understand, Mr. ‘I’ll have a beer and an order of wings’ – Good for you.”
“So is exercise, but you’re not getting much on that stool.”
“Ok, what’s this story?”
“My grandmother used to serve Shredded Wheat for breakfast.”
“Is this the same one who fed you chick peas? I thought you liked that woman.”
“I loved that woman. I’m talking about my mother’s mother. She wasn’t much of a cook.”
“What’s to cook? Shredded Wheat comes in a box, ready to eat. Soften it up, add some milk if you like. You can’t mess that up. I’m sure she let you put sugar on it.”
“She did, but it couldn’t help. The damage had already been done.”
“Damage?”
“She served soft-boiled eggs for breakfast. After the eggs were done, she poured a little of the egg water on the Shredded Wheat and then made a cup of tea with the rest.”
“The rest…of the egg water?”
“Yes. To this day, I won’t eat Shredded Wheat or soft-boiled eggs. I would rather eat grits than Shredded Wheat.”
“Whoa, whoa, hold it right there. Don’t be dissin’ on grits. If you boys want the benefits of cereal, I suggest you take your grain in liquid form. You ready for another round?”
“Sorry Cheryl. I forgot you are from the south. We’ll have another round, but he’s paying.”
“I guess he’s right. His 55-year-old grudge beats my bad assumption.”
“Cheryl, since he’s paying, and since we’re eating healthy, a double-order of wings.”
“Parm pep for you. Blue Cheese for Daddy Warbucks?”
“Yes and yes, and that time the reference was aimed at me.”
“Yeah, but you’re a good sport, and I’m cute as a bug’s ear, so we’ll let it slide.”
Cheryl’s also a great photographer. Check out her latest Wordless Wednesday post.
It’s been pointed out that in my recent sharing of all things Pittsburgh, I left out the dog I left behind. Today’s gallery is mostly from walking and sitting with our crazy pup. Also, the song you might be thinking about is below the gallery.
Thanks for reminding me of Ellen’s post. I’m not a fan of Shredded Wheat either, but not because someone poured egg water over it. Over here they advertise it by showing grannies knitting them and they certainly taste as if they’ve been knitted.
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Ellen’s posts are just about the best part of Friday. As for Shredded Wheat, they are awful. Fortunately, this horrible memory keeps them out of my life.
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Love the post, love the pictures (Hi Maddie), hate Shredded Wheat!
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Thanks for joining the club, Pam. It really has nothing going for it.
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Oh those grannies who never EVER let anything go to waste.
As for Ellen’s post – I had forgotten the name “Shredded Wheat” (see? I had suppressed the trauma, too!) and needed help from my hubby to remember.
He said, “It’s been a long time since I’ve had Shredded Wheat. I think I’ll add that to the grocery list.”
Great. Just great.
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Oh no 😳 – you can’t let him do that, Maggie. Just say “I though you meant Frosted Flakes.”
The worst part of that breakfast was when the eggs would crack and you’d have bits of egg in your tea – “it’s all going the same place,” Yuck.
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In the “Same but Different” department – have you ever reached for the carton of cream for your coffee and ended up using the egg whites instead?
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Eeeew, no. But I have used the last of my creamers (while traveling) only to pour hot water in the cup instead of coffee.
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I can’t stand those large shredded wheat things that are like rocks, but I did smile at your Grandma making tea out of that water. Waste not, want not in those days. :-) Maddie looks beautiful even with a bad hair day – we all have them. :-)
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You’re in good company, Judy. So far, no one has come out as being a fan of those mini-bales of hay. Maddie liked having a bath, but those curls are hard to settle.
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there are some things that need to be lost to history. even at the slight risk of being doomed to repeat them all over again. besides there is always the option of skipping the subsequent lament and switching to the praises of grits with a bit of sausage gravy. serious trauma does not improve the flavor of the beer. ever. it might even cause a lapse of focus resulting in missing the therapeutic benefits of the beverage in hand.
So at this juncture I suggest a change in topic. A comparison of the ‘bird in the hand’ to the ‘beer in the hand’. after all this is philosophical aiming fluid let’s put it to good use. Or as an alternate a lively discussion of the origins of the word therapeutic. Like the beer in your hand. Do I sense an underlying theme developing here ?
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I think you could take your guess and add it to Linda’s SoCS prompt, John. I think I can relegate this to history with no risk of repeating.
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Lol! 😂I was “finger ready” to defend my grits, Dan. Uggg….shredded wheat. My Hubby likes the frosted mini wheats. I find no redeeming favtor in anything that looks like mini haystcks and tastes like cardboard. Seriously? Tea with the egg water? Was there a real water shortage or something? The worst thing my Mom did was to try to get me to eat eggs by chopping up a fried egg and mixing it in my grits! As if. Ummmm….Mom, thhat yellow goo ain’t margarine. I love Madie’s toussled look. Very sexy. And, of course she is on the ground. Gotta work her way towards that next bath. And sunning…and walk…and bath…I just love Chippy. And Carley Simon. Great choice.
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Thanks Cheryl. I was gonna check and then I thought “…Louisiana???” Yeah I’d get in trouble fast without acknowledging that one.
There was no water shortage but a pot and a kettle might have been too hard for that woman to handle. She had many redeeming qualities, cooking wasn’t in the mix.
My freshman year in college was at UGA in Athens. Every single day they would slip grits onto my scrambled eggs. “No grits please” was consistently ignore by women who believed they were essential.
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Oh we can easily make a meal of grits and toast. BUT…I am very particular about the grits and how they are cooked. No fat grits please and not soupy. Hubby always gets the grits on the side at River Grille. 😉I have much ambivolence towards hominy though. That stuff just doesn’t look right….
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I’m not sure I know the difference. Not eager to try either.
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So, you’re saying you’ve never actually tried grits? 🙊
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I have tried grits but (big but, I suspect) I’ve only had them in less than amazing restaurants. I had lots of people at school say “you would like my momma’ grits” but never had those. I’ve had polenta (Italian grits) but not a fan.
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Dan, you wrote some great lines for today. “I suggest you take your grain in liquid form” was memorable, but:
…was the best.
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Thanks Greg. Ellen got me started on this one by digging up that memory. Thanks for stopping by and for the comment.
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Thanks for linking to the mom post, Dan. It’s always good to remind people about the daily adult refreshment.
I’ve eaten shredded wheat in the past, but with milk and sugar. With egg water? Oh, just no. I can see why you have a dislike for that cereal. Soft-boiled eggs are another story. Have you ever tried soft-boiled duck eggs? They are divine! Add a couple slabs of bacon and yum!
Tell Maddie she’s a good girl and give her a couple good pats for me.
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Thanks Mary. I can’t bring myself to try any soft-boiled egg. I’d be wondering about my coffee or tea if I did. Although, the addition of bacon couldn’t hurt.
Maddie is off to a slow start today. I’ve been rubbing her belly and scratching her ears, but she’s going back and forth between couch and cuddler. Maybe I should follow her example.
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Hanging out on the couch sounds like a good plan for you and Maddie. It’s a nice, sunny day here, so I’ll be out and about enjoying the waning days of summer.
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I’m trying to make some progress on my doors and shed, but I’m slow today, too. My plan was to go robbed early, get up so as to be at Home Depot at 6:00 when they open. I wasn’t going to watch preseason #1 until the end, but…
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Uh-oh, I feel like I’m about to go out on a limb here again today.
I don’t like cereal. Never have. ALL cereals get soggy and disgusting when wet and I just can’t get past the texture.
However …. I discovered during my I’m-an-athlete days when I seemed to always be calorie-deficient (which of course was just an illusion – my body was just whining about all the work I expected it to do) that dry cereal eaten like chips or peanuts was awesome! Mini-wheats were one of my favourite go-tos. I used to carry little baggies of mini-wheats everywhere with me.
To be honest, what I REALLY wanted was Fruit Loops, but mini-wheats were acceptable.
mmmm – I haven’t had a little snack of dry cereal in a LONG time …
btw – I’m impressed by how small Maggie can make herself all curled up wedged between you and the side of the couch. She wouldn’t have liked it here last night with all our thunder boomers.
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I think you’re ok, Joanne. We didn’t have the option of frosted, or even mini. We had the age-old standard hockey puck of dried hay. I sometimes will eat dry cereal, but I usually eat Corn Flakes fast enough that they don’t get soggy. Fruit Loops, Trix and Frosted Flakes were my favs. As well as Captain Crunch.
Maddie turns into an ity-bit when she’s scared.
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ooo – someone else who’s willing to acknowledge they’re a Fruit Loop fan :)
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@Shredded Wheat?… NO way!!! ;)
* * *
love Carly Simon’s song… btw, she looks a bit like… Mick Jagger! :D
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Thanks. I’m not sure a woman, even a dog, would like that comparison, but she was having a hard time with that coat.
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I think I’m in the minority here. I like Shredded Wheat but with milk, and sugar, or better yet with yogurt and fruit/strawberries preferably.
Chippy is lovely in that warm light, and who combs out Maddie? That must be a job after a bath.
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Right now, you’re the entire minority, Deborah. As s base for yogurt and fruit, maybe but it’s a cinch I’ll never know.
Maddie’s shampoo leaves her pretty much tangle-free but those curls take a while to settle down.
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Those good old shredded wheat biscuits. Cold cereal was a major breakfast food for kids. Remember those packages with the little assorted boxes of cereal?
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Yes. We got the Kellogg’s variety pack with the hope that my dad would eat the corn flakes.
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Yeah, who would want the corn flakes when there were better things with more sugar. :)
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Oh my gosh, I just have way too much to say about all this. First off, people who take blog posts or comments as a passive-aggressive insult are emotional criminals. Now and again someone will contact me and ask, “Was that about me?” I’m always surprised at who’s asking, because I can’t even imagine why, no evidence of said behavior has been demonstrated let alone established. And then I think, if I had this problem with you, you would know, cause I ain’t afraid of confrontation… So confusing.
Big bales of shredded wheat are nom, and should only be eaten by Joeys before she swims or otherwise burns an extra 300 calories lol and they should absolutely NEVER be made using warm egg water. ZOMG NO.
Grits are delicious :P
I have an apricot scarf and I must sing about it :)
Maddie is precious <3 Divine ear floof.
This post was excellent. I thoroughly enjoyed the dialogue. :D
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Thank you! I do get the “is that about me?” And I never get it. I’m over 60 years old, I’ve known way more funny/crazy/jackass people than you. God forbid I ever write about people having an affair ;-)
You can have all the Shredded Wheat – in – the – universe.
Maddie thanks you for understanding ear floof. I actually refer to her ears as her fwopps.
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Fwopps. Heh.
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They are so often out of control. In her mouth, in her food, in the water bowl and tangled in her leash as we try to walk.
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I’m with you, Dan. Shredded wheat needs to be extinct. Creamy Grits with shrimp. GET BACK!!! Good to see Maddie pics.
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With shrimp? That’s different. Of course, on the Gulf, in guessing you have shrimp with corn flakes.
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ha ha ha. You have not lived till you have creamy grits with shrimp.
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Oh, Dan–I both chuckled and choked at this one. Egg water on shredded wheat?? Kill me now. As for grits…..I may live in the South, by I am Yankee to the core. No. I don’t care that ‘Shrimp and Grits’ is to die for. Not gonna happen. Maddie and her curls are adorable!! Chippy and the bunny are her cute sidekicks. What a great backyard you have.
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Thanks for standing strong with me, Lois. Maddie appreciates the love.
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I prefer my grits unadulterated, thank you. But lots of butter and now and then maybe some cheese. Please.
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PS I wouldn’t liken polenta to grits. Too fine. And mushy.
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Fine/mushy or not, not eating them.
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Oh no! Shredded wheat with hot milk & sugar for breakfast got me through nursing school! Glad I didn’t have any bad grandmother experiences with good old SW. It’s oatmeal now (GF). Ellen dropped off my reader. Just got her back. Have a great weekend! Maddie’s a model! 🐶Love the hair. 🎶 Christine
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Thanks Christine. I think you make two in favor of SW. I’m glad you got back connected to Ellen. She brings a nice smile every Friday. Maddie’s curls are getting high marks. 🙂
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This was so funny. Ellen was, too. I was cracking up over the Cheez Wiz. Hey, I like Shredded Wheat. Sometimes.
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Thanks Jennie. You’re not alone in liking that stuff, but you’re in the minority. I love reading Ellen’s take on British tradition and current events.
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She is really funny, Dan. I don’t like Cheez Wiz, but I sure like the story. 😅
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I don’t like shredded wheat unless it is frosted. Then it is not bad at all. As for eggs in general, I do not like them unless they are used in a recipe, like meat loaf, cake, etc.
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Cake, cake is an excellent way to eat eggs :-)
I don’t think I’ve ever tried the frosted mini-wheats.
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Frosted mini-wheats is pretty good.
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Reblogged this on Crazy Pasta Child.
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Thanks!
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Nice “Beer” post Dan. Special thanks for the calming critter pics and beautified Maddie — I’m in neighbor-noise hell this weekend. But a Kirin Ichiban is on the way to me now. Hugs.
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Thanks Teagan. Enjoy the soothing brew.
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Ii eat shredded wheat every Monday so I can feel virtuous after the indulgent breakfasts I enjoyed Saturday and Sunday. It takes some doing, but I get it down. Another chuckle-producing conversation, Dan. I look forward to them.
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Thanks Janet. I give you credit for managing that balancing act. Couldn’t you just have Wheat toast ?
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Yes, but toast tastes too good to serve as penance.
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Maddie looks a bit haggard after a bath. Must take it out of her. Giggle. Cutest curl, too.
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She usually likes having a bath. I was changing, before we could go outside and sit. She’s a little impatient. We’ve been told that, if we were to attempt to put Maddie in a dog show, that curl would have to go. Non-conforming, don’t you know.
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Keep the curl ♡
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From one redhead to another ?
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Yes, from one curly redhead to another!
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Well then. We have it on good authority that Maddie has the right look. She seems to like her curls.
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She knows how to work’em to her advantage. Plenty of photos of Maddie to prove how photogenic she really is.
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For the record, I dislike shredded wheat, but grits! LOVE ’em!
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With Cheryl behind the bar, I knew I needed to land on the right side of grits. I don’t care for them, but…
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But you were keeping the peace. I get it! Good job! Smart move! :)
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Good bartenders are hard to find ;-)
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How true! Wise decision on your part. Hope you left a good tip! LOL
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Always.
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As a waitress in my youth, it is much appreciated! :)
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I like shredded wheat a few different ways but agree: Absolutely No egg water added! And not in my tea, either! Yuck! :(
My grandpa would pour lovely homemade honey over our dry Shredded Wheat “loafs” and then add a small amount of milk. We loved this! At home, Dad would do the same thing with maple syrup. Yum! When I was slightly limited on funds, as a single Mom, I would buy brown sugar and sprinkle over any “plain” cereal already “wet” with milk, like rice Chex, wheaties or Cheerios for my kids. This kept the brown sugar easy to see and taste. 😜
I also made oatmeal with milk, butter and brown sugar. My kids decided they liked cinnamon sugar on all cereal. We should have “invented” Cinnamon Toast Crunch!
We rarely had flavored cereal but my parents would purchase small boxes of cereal in variety packs, Dan. My faves were Sugar Pops and Cocoa Puffs. Captain Crunch was my college test studying “reward.”
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I think if I had good memories of breakfast with Shredded Wheat, I’d feel better about it, Robin. Captain Crunch was pretty good. Probably not so good for us, but easy to eat. Sugar Pops were another good one. I wish I had known about putting brown sugar on things :-)
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I love the song and I have an ex who never was my kids’ father, so I can say he fit this song, totally!
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