Shredded Wheat

The perfect place and beverage to share some casual conversation.

If we were having a beer, you’d be in a foul mood.

“I have a bone to pick with you.”

“Great. Save it for a while, we’ll order some wings later.”

“No, this is personal.”

“Oh geeze, before you guys get into it, could I interest you in an adult beverage. I hear it’s ok to have one every day.”

“Yuengling.”

“Meiomi.”

“Well, there’s a surprise. Who’s got the tab?”

“It’s going to be the man who tried to embarrass me on the Internet.”

“Ooooo-Kay.”

“Hold off on assigning that tab until I have a chance to defend myself. I’m not even sure what I did.”

“There’s no defense. Maybe you aren’t aware, but I read Ellen’s blog.

“I wasn’t aware. I’ve never seen you comment.”

“I don’t comment on blogs, I just read.”

“Lurking in the shadows, huh? Here’s your beer, and your wine.”

“Thanks Cheryl.”

“Did you want to order those wings?”

“Not yet Cheryl, we’re still waiting for him to realize that he’s paying.”

“Paying? I still don’t see what this has to do with me.”

“You read Ellen’s blog, and you do comment. I read your comment and I wasn’t impressed.”

“Are we talking about the same Ellen? Notes from the UK? Her latest post was about Weetabix.”

“Yeah, and you replied by raggin on Shredded Wheat.”

“So what?”

“You know that’s my go-to breakfast. Why are you hatin on my cereal?

“Vanity, thy name is jackass, and this beer’s on you.”

“Butchering Shakespeare, who never even wrote that vanity thing, isn’t going to help.”

“My point is that just because something I say resembles you, it doesn’t mean I’m talking about you.”

“What could you possibly have against Shredded Wheat?”

“It’s an old story.”

“How old? We talking years?”

“Yes, about 55.”

“55 years? Must be a seriously sad story.”

“Look, it’s a sad story, but it’s not like that stuff is actually good.”

“It’s good for you, something you wouldn’t understand, Mr. ‘I’ll have a beer and an order of wings’ – Good for you.”

“So is exercise, but you’re not getting much on that stool.”

“Ok, what’s this story?”

“My grandmother used to serve Shredded Wheat for breakfast.”

“Is this the same one who fed you chick peas? I thought you liked that woman.”

“I loved that woman. I’m talking about my mother’s mother. She wasn’t much of a cook.”

“What’s to cook? Shredded Wheat comes in a box, ready to eat. Soften it up, add some milk if you like. You can’t mess that up. I’m sure she let you put sugar on it.”

“She did, but it couldn’t help. The damage had already been done.”

“Damage?”

“She served soft-boiled eggs for breakfast. After the eggs were done, she poured a little of the egg water on the Shredded Wheat and then made a cup of tea with the rest.”

“The rest…of the egg water?”

“Yes. To this day, I won’t eat Shredded Wheat or soft-boiled eggs. I would rather eat grits than Shredded Wheat.”

“Whoa, whoa, hold it right there. Don’t be dissin’ on grits. If you boys want the benefits of cereal, I suggest you take your grain in liquid form. You ready for another round?”

“Sorry Cheryl. I forgot you are from the south. We’ll have another round, but he’s paying.”

“I guess he’s right. His 55-year-old grudge beats my bad assumption.”

“Cheryl, since he’s paying, and since we’re eating healthy, a double-order of wings.”

“Parm pep for you. Blue Cheese for Daddy Warbucks?”

“Yes and yes, and that time the reference was aimed at me.”

“Yeah, but you’re a good sport, and I’m cute as a bug’s ear, so we’ll let it slide.”


Cheryl’s also a great photographer. Check out her latest Wordless Wednesday post.

It’s been pointed out that in my recent sharing of all things Pittsburgh, I left out the dog I left behind. Today’s gallery is mostly from walking and sitting with our crazy pup. Also, the song you might be thinking about is below the gallery.

 

About Dan Antion

Husband, father, woodworker, cyclist, photographer, geek - oh wait, I’m writing this like I only have 140 characters. I am all those things, and more, and all of these passions present me with opportunities to observe, and think about things that I can’t write about in other places. I have started this blog to catch the stuff that falls out, overflows and just plain doesn’t fit the other containers in my life.
This entry was posted in Family, Humor, If having a beer and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

75 Responses to Shredded Wheat

  1. April Munday says:

    Thanks for reminding me of Ellen’s post. I’m not a fan of Shredded Wheat either, but not because someone poured egg water over it. Over here they advertise it by showing grannies knitting them and they certainly taste as if they’ve been knitted.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. quiall says:

    Love the post, love the pictures (Hi Maddie), hate Shredded Wheat!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh those grannies who never EVER let anything go to waste.

    As for Ellen’s post – I had forgotten the name “Shredded Wheat” (see? I had suppressed the trauma, too!) and needed help from my hubby to remember.

    He said, “It’s been a long time since I’ve had Shredded Wheat. I think I’ll add that to the grocery list.”

    Great. Just great.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I can’t stand those large shredded wheat things that are like rocks, but I did smile at your Grandma making tea out of that water. Waste not, want not in those days. :-) Maddie looks beautiful even with a bad hair day – we all have them. :-)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. John Hric says:

    there are some things that need to be lost to history. even at the slight risk of being doomed to repeat them all over again. besides there is always the option of skipping the subsequent lament and switching to the praises of grits with a bit of sausage gravy. serious trauma does not improve the flavor of the beer. ever. it might even cause a lapse of focus resulting in missing the therapeutic benefits of the beverage in hand.
    So at this juncture I suggest a change in topic. A comparison of the ‘bird in the hand’ to the ‘beer in the hand’. after all this is philosophical aiming fluid let’s put it to good use. Or as an alternate a lively discussion of the origins of the word therapeutic. Like the beer in your hand. Do I sense an underlying theme developing here ?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. dweezer19 says:

    Lol! 😂I was “finger ready” to defend my grits, Dan. Uggg….shredded wheat. My Hubby likes the frosted mini wheats. I find no redeeming favtor in anything that looks like mini haystcks and tastes like cardboard. Seriously? Tea with the egg water? Was there a real water shortage or something? The worst thing my Mom did was to try to get me to eat eggs by chopping up a fried egg and mixing it in my grits! As if. Ummmm….Mom, thhat yellow goo ain’t margarine. I love Madie’s toussled look. Very sexy. And, of course she is on the ground. Gotta work her way towards that next bath. And sunning…and walk…and bath…I just love Chippy. And Carley Simon. Great choice.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dan Antion says:

      Thanks Cheryl. I was gonna check and then I thought “…Louisiana???” Yeah I’d get in trouble fast without acknowledging that one.

      There was no water shortage but a pot and a kettle might have been too hard for that woman to handle. She had many redeeming qualities, cooking wasn’t in the mix.

      My freshman year in college was at UGA in Athens. Every single day they would slip grits onto my scrambled eggs. “No grits please” was consistently ignore by women who believed they were essential.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Almost Iowa says:

    Dan, you wrote some great lines for today. “I suggest you take your grain in liquid form” was memorable, but:

    “I have a bone to pick with you.”

    “Great. Save it for a while, we’ll order some wings later.”

    …was the best.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. bikerchick57 says:

    Thanks for linking to the mom post, Dan. It’s always good to remind people about the daily adult refreshment.

    I’ve eaten shredded wheat in the past, but with milk and sugar. With egg water? Oh, just no. I can see why you have a dislike for that cereal. Soft-boiled eggs are another story. Have you ever tried soft-boiled duck eggs? They are divine! Add a couple slabs of bacon and yum!

    Tell Maddie she’s a good girl and give her a couple good pats for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dan Antion says:

      Thanks Mary. I can’t bring myself to try any soft-boiled egg. I’d be wondering about my coffee or tea if I did. Although, the addition of bacon couldn’t hurt.

      Maddie is off to a slow start today. I’ve been rubbing her belly and scratching her ears, but she’s going back and forth between couch and cuddler. Maybe I should follow her example.

      Liked by 1 person

      • bikerchick57 says:

        Hanging out on the couch sounds like a good plan for you and Maddie. It’s a nice, sunny day here, so I’ll be out and about enjoying the waning days of summer.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Dan Antion says:

          I’m trying to make some progress on my doors and shed, but I’m slow today, too. My plan was to go robbed early, get up so as to be at Home Depot at 6:00 when they open. I wasn’t going to watch preseason #1 until the end, but…

          Like

  9. Joanne Sisco says:

    Uh-oh, I feel like I’m about to go out on a limb here again today.

    I don’t like cereal. Never have. ALL cereals get soggy and disgusting when wet and I just can’t get past the texture.
    However …. I discovered during my I’m-an-athlete days when I seemed to always be calorie-deficient (which of course was just an illusion – my body was just whining about all the work I expected it to do) that dry cereal eaten like chips or peanuts was awesome! Mini-wheats were one of my favourite go-tos. I used to carry little baggies of mini-wheats everywhere with me.

    To be honest, what I REALLY wanted was Fruit Loops, but mini-wheats were acceptable.

    mmmm – I haven’t had a little snack of dry cereal in a LONG time …

    btw – I’m impressed by how small Maggie can make herself all curled up wedged between you and the side of the couch. She wouldn’t have liked it here last night with all our thunder boomers.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dan Antion says:

      I think you’re ok, Joanne. We didn’t have the option of frosted, or even mini. We had the age-old standard hockey puck of dried hay. I sometimes will eat dry cereal, but I usually eat Corn Flakes fast enough that they don’t get soggy. Fruit Loops, Trix and Frosted Flakes were my favs. As well as Captain Crunch.

      Maddie turns into an ity-bit when she’s scared.

      Like

  10. Mél@nie says:

    @Shredded Wheat?… NO way!!! ;)
    * * *
    love Carly Simon’s song… btw, she looks a bit like… Mick Jagger! :D

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I think I’m in the minority here. I like Shredded Wheat but with milk, and sugar, or better yet with yogurt and fruit/strawberries preferably.

    Chippy is lovely in that warm light, and who combs out Maddie? That must be a job after a bath.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dan Antion says:

      Right now, you’re the entire minority, Deborah. As s base for yogurt and fruit, maybe but it’s a cinch I’ll never know.

      Maddie’s shampoo leaves her pretty much tangle-free but those curls take a while to settle down.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Those good old shredded wheat biscuits. Cold cereal was a major breakfast food for kids. Remember those packages with the little assorted boxes of cereal?

    Liked by 1 person

  13. joey says:

    Oh my gosh, I just have way too much to say about all this. First off, people who take blog posts or comments as a passive-aggressive insult are emotional criminals. Now and again someone will contact me and ask, “Was that about me?” I’m always surprised at who’s asking, because I can’t even imagine why, no evidence of said behavior has been demonstrated let alone established. And then I think, if I had this problem with you, you would know, cause I ain’t afraid of confrontation… So confusing.
    Big bales of shredded wheat are nom, and should only be eaten by Joeys before she swims or otherwise burns an extra 300 calories lol and they should absolutely NEVER be made using warm egg water. ZOMG NO.
    Grits are delicious :P
    I have an apricot scarf and I must sing about it :)
    Maddie is precious <3 Divine ear floof.
    This post was excellent. I thoroughly enjoyed the dialogue. :D

    Liked by 3 people

  14. I’m with you, Dan. Shredded wheat needs to be extinct. Creamy Grits with shrimp. GET BACK!!! Good to see Maddie pics.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. loisajay says:

    Oh, Dan–I both chuckled and choked at this one. Egg water on shredded wheat?? Kill me now. As for grits…..I may live in the South, by I am Yankee to the core. No. I don’t care that ‘Shrimp and Grits’ is to die for. Not gonna happen. Maddie and her curls are adorable!! Chippy and the bunny are her cute sidekicks. What a great backyard you have.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. dweezer19 says:

    I prefer my grits unadulterated, thank you. But lots of butter and now and then maybe some cheese. Please.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. dweezer19 says:

    PS I wouldn’t liken polenta to grits. Too fine. And mushy.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. C.E.Robinson says:

    Oh no! Shredded wheat with hot milk & sugar for breakfast got me through nursing school! Glad I didn’t have any bad grandmother experiences with good old SW. It’s oatmeal now (GF). Ellen dropped off my reader. Just got her back. Have a great weekend! Maddie’s a model! 🐶Love the hair. 🎶 Christine

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Jennie says:

    This was so funny. Ellen was, too. I was cracking up over the Cheez Wiz. Hey, I like Shredded Wheat. Sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Glynis Jolly says:

    I don’t like shredded wheat unless it is frosted. Then it is not bad at all. As for eggs in general, I do not like them unless they are used in a recipe, like meat loaf, cake, etc.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Nice “Beer” post Dan. Special thanks for the calming critter pics and beautified Maddie — I’m in neighbor-noise hell this weekend. But a Kirin Ichiban is on the way to me now. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Aunt Beulah says:

    Ii eat shredded wheat every Monday so I can feel virtuous after the indulgent breakfasts I enjoyed Saturday and Sunday. It takes some doing, but I get it down. Another chuckle-producing conversation, Dan. I look forward to them.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Maddie looks a bit haggard after a bath. Must take it out of her. Giggle. Cutest curl, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. misifusa says:

    For the record, I dislike shredded wheat, but grits! LOVE ’em!

    Liked by 1 person

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