
If we were having a beer, you’d have a technical question for me.
“So, Mr. Wizard, I have a question for you about your blog.”
“And that would be…?”
“Are you actually up and writing these things at 6:04 am?”
“No, not as a rule.”
“So, they’re scheduled in advance?”
“Yes, it’s a fairly common practice.”
“So, even though you sound all ‘in the moment’ you’re really sitting at a desk two days ago cranking out tomorrow’s observations?”
“Wow, I think you violated the Federation’s Temporal Prime Directive in that question, but yes, I do tend to write my blog posts in advance – if that’s what you meant.”
“Do you do this with other social media? I mean, are you tweeting some smart-ass remark about something while we sit here drinking?”
“I’m sorry to bring you two off your higher plane of existence, but you actually aren’t drinking, at least not yet.”
“Excellent point Cheryl. I’ll have a…”
“Yuengling. She doesn’t need to be a time-traveler to know that you’re ordering Yuengling. I however, enjoy being unpredictable…”
“So, Woodford Reserve for you?”
“Yes, Cheryl. I guess I’m not all that unpredictable.”
“I’ll get your drinks. You guys can go back to your own time.”
“Where were we?”
“You were asking me about scheduling social media posts. I don’t ever do that.”
“I want to ask why not, but I think you’re lying. I’ve seen tweets from you that are timestamped while we were at this very bar.”
“Yes, yes, you have. Tweets that I made while we are at this very bar.”
“No way. I would have noticed.”
“You never notice.”
“Notice what? What are you talking about?”
“SoundHound. You never notice that he uses SoundHound. Here’s your Bourbon .”
“I’m confused.”
“You are, but Cheryl’s right. The tweets you see that appear to be when were at the bar, are from when we were at – the – bar. If I hear a song that I like, I use SoundHound to identify it and then I tweet from the app.”
“No, I’d notice you typing.”
“gbs?”
“Wha…”
“GBS – it’s the keyboard shortcut for ‘Good bar song’ – I add that to SoundHound’s default tweet.”
“Our phones have keyboard shortcuts for meaningless asinine drivel?”
“OK, now you’re in violation of the Redundancy Prime Directive. And, no, our phones don’t have shortcuts, my phone does.”
“What makes your phone special?”
“I do – I’ve added a bunch of keyboard shortcuts for the stuff I say.”
“Because you’re not predictable enough in real life?”
“No. Because I make typos and I have to repeat some phrases a lot.”
“Like what?”
“Like my name. Like my email address. Like the URL of my blog. I added all of those when WordPress went off the rails and made me login to every blog I liked. I type ‘nf’ and my phone expands it to ‘No Facilities.’ If I type ‘nfc,’ it expands it to ‘http://noFacilities.com’ – It’s a pretty handy feature.”
“How long have you been doing this?”
“Since I wanted to tweet about Eat‘n Park – I never remember that there’s no space in Eat’n. Now I just type ‘enp’ and my phone does the rest.”
“I have to admit, That’s pretty cool. I don’t understand much about what my phone can do.”
“Well, it can’t place an order for food, or for another round at this place, but you can. Hint, hint.”
“Ha, we will have another round, Cheryl. Do you know about this feature?”
“I do. ‘lmj’ is my shortcut for ‘Love my job’ which I tweet after I get a sweet tip.”
“I’ve never seen you tweet that.”
“Wait, let me add ‘ns’ for hashtag-nuffSaid.”
“Ouch.”
“You stepped right into that one.”
“It happened so fast. I knew as soon as I heard the words coming out of my mouth.”
“Good thing for Cheryl, I’m paying today.”
“I think she guessed that. On another subject, did WordPress ever fix that login problem?”
“Yes and no.”
“Please, my head already hurts. Can you make this a simple, non-technical answer?”
“They had me delete the cookies and saved-data from their app on my phone.”
“You should have guessed that, that’s all you nerds ever tell people – reboot, reset, unplug, start over – it’s a good thing none of you went into medicine.”
“Ouch.”
“I couldn’t think of a comeback for Cheryl, but you? Like shootin’ fish in a barrel.”
“Thanks.”
“At the risk of a much longer explanation than I want to hear, why don’t you schedule social media stuff?”
“Cuz life goes off the rails like it did last weekend. I don’t want to be caught looking like the jackass du jour.”
“Good point, these days, it’s easy to be misunderstood.”
Click here to see the latest from Cheryl. The photos are from a recent walk with Maddie and a few of Maddie after we returned.
Oooohhhh Weatheeeer! I love stormy skies. Great shots. We had some storms here last night too. That last photo of Maddie looks like a string of curls. Hard to Tell head from tail! Wish I new how you do that smart key thing (hint) . I could use that, most definitely. Thanks for the mention. . Heading to see some winged friends today. A little butterfly love ….
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If you have an iPhone, Settings->General->Keyboard->Text Replacement
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A Saturday with Maddie and a beer is a good Saturday. :-) Interesting about the phone.
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Thanks Judy. I got some work done after our walk, but Maddie lets us know when she needs a nap.
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Goes for bloggers and writers too. Where would we be without the backspace and delete keys?
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Once, when I was leading a training class, I had to log in to a different system. The password was masked, but people could tell that I was making a few mistakes. I told them that I included the backspace key in my password for extra security.
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Priceless!
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OMG, that’s brilliant! Thank you so much! Wonder if it’s safe to do passwords that way. ANYWAY, the photographs are all exquisite! All due respect to the beauteous Maddie, but I think my favorite has to be the bird on the post. That one is so perfect, your bar buddy and I suspect you photoshopped it!
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Thank you. My bar buddy wouldn’t know Photoshop from Joey’s Phở. Truth be told, I use Lightroom to crop and straighten, I sometimes adjust the brightness and contrast but usually not by much. I know that photo was straightened (cuz I don’t like leaning poles) and cropped to make the bird, more the center of attention, but the lighting was left alone on those cloudy/foggy shots. The sun was doing all the adjustment I needed,
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I was going to check into this SoundHound thing until you commented “if you have an iPhone…” Does it work on antique droid phones too?
100 bonus points for linking to the Temporal Prime Directive and another 50 for the Redundancy Prime Directive. I could share the latter with a few people I know and make up a penalty for violating it.
Beautiful photos, Dan. I love the fog and dark and a poke of light shining through.
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Oooh – bonus points! It got so dark on that walk, Maddie looked up at me as if to ask “what’s going on?”
I don’t know how old an Android we’re talking about, but – https://play.google.com/store/apps/developer?id=SoundHound+Inc.&hl=en appears to be available.
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I’ll give it a try, Dan. I have a Motorola Droid mini from about four years ago. That’s antique, right? 😉
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Hard to say. I think it only gets to be a problem when you can no longer update the phone’s operating system.
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Then it shouldn’t be a problem. Will try later this afternoon when all of my running around and shopping is done!
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Good post, Dan. It’s a reminder that we have a vast store of applications at our finger tips and the majority of us have no clue how to use most of it. I’m still all impressed with myself that I learned how to use my phone as a mobile hotspot for my iPad or laptop when we’re travelling and don’t have wifi.
I don’t have an iPhone, but this blog prompted me to go searching through my settings to see what interesting features I may have. Oooooh – I can do data transfers by tapping devices. I think I now know how I’m going to waste a chunk of this day ;)
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I just learned from a coworker that I can put those silly key-cards the store reward programs use into an app. There is a lot out there, Joanne. I have to do a general house cleaning, as I’ve collected things that don’t work well any more or are things I no longer use and am getting tired of updating.
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You mean instead of fumbling around in a 3 inch stack of loyalty cards trying to find the right one? ooooo – sounds like a great idea!!
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I only have three but I never have them with me. Look for “Key Chain” it’s pretty easy to set up. Scans the cards. Shows barcode or lets clerk enter the numbers.
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Thanks Dan. I just took a look and there are several apps to choose from! Sounds like this might be one of my projects for the day :)
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I can tell you that Soundhound is pretty good in a noisy environment. I had used one before this, and it rarely worked in the bar. So, before you decide, you may need to visit your local bar…for research
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Of course … purely for research :)
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🍷🍺
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Violating the Prime Directive this early on a Saturday morning ! Hmmm I might have to invoke the ‘it is noon somewhere clause’ and contemplate this evil. Whilst keeping a garden bell near by to ward off said evil. ( another little tidbit I picked up this morning of reading.) I might have to attach a bell to my smart phone. Great evil lurks there. And said attachment cannot make the device more klunky. No thanks I WILL spell my klunky with a ‘K’. Someone needs to write an app that tells smart disabled devices that language is a living thing. Now back to bemoaning the small non-tactile keyboards and their apps. They require an attached warning – preferably larger than the device. Use only in extreme emergency. Translation Only after Cheryl has run out of beer. I type poorly in the best of circumstances. My proximity has been known to poorly affect nearby typists. No apps have been discovered that can counteract this. Especially on the devilish small smart devices designed for dainty digits ( of which i have none). Now to wander off and find my medications… Happy Saturday Dan !
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Thanks for making me smile, John. Can I blame my typos on the fact that I read your blog on a daily basis? I think I can. You’re right, it is noon somewhere. The heck with that 5-o’clock nonsense.
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binary proximity – the bane of the typist’s prime directive. not to be confused with the prime digit – aka one finger typing… now back to IINS.
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LOL… “jackass du jour.” I need to remember that one, Dan. Love the pic of Maddie cuddling her toys. Happy Caturday to MiMi and MuMu. Hugs.
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@”jackass du jour.” – en français dans le texte… :D
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If you say something before it becomes stupid, Teagan, you’re relatively safe. If you say something after it has become a stupid thing to say, you’re doomed. I’ve seen companies do this by scheduling tweets over the weekend and automatically retweeting people and other companies.
Thanks for the hugs. MuMu has been brushed, MiMi has been nuts and Maddie has gone back to sleep after a feverish round of ball. I hope you and Crystal have a good day.
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beer again… kinda recurrent topic, Monsieur Dan! :D cheers! ;)
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Not every Saturday, but most of them – thanks!
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Oh, that last photo…..love. My phone is so old, I am lucky it still rings. It was an old company phone that they allowed me to keep. Nice, right? We went to a phone store and when the smart-ass kid looked at my phone, knowing I was looking to purchase a smartphone, he said there was a 6-month learning curve, they did not give tutorials, and then popped his earbuds back in. I had to resist from strangling him…my husband steered me out the door. Hashtags? Apps? Shortcuts? Show me the tutorial….. :)
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I guess he was giving a tutorial on how to p*ss off a customer and lose a sale. I think I would have suggested a better place to stick the earbuds…closer to his brain.
Thanks for the comment, Lois. Maddie likes to get comfy.
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Hi Dan – lovely and fun to read … Yuengling looks a great beer, while its history is interesting … cheers Hilary
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Thanks Hilary. A historic beer, for sure. It’s a mild-ish lager, which suits me fine.
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Love the shortcut tutorial. I don’t use my phone to communicate anything except when I get over the bridge on the way home. Good post, Dan. loved the photos as usual.
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Thanks John. The shortcuts came up at work. I thought I’d put it out there in case someone didn’t know.
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Good info.
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I had to laugh at jackass du jour. The entire blog was pure delight :)
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Sorry, this was trapped in my spam folder. Thanks
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Your welcome. Jetpack was screwed up and it took several days for wp to fix it, but thankfully I’m back so I can actually read and contact other bloggers, woot.
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Welcome back 🙂
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Thank you, I’ve missed everyone, very much. It’s felt as though a lifetime has passed. I’ve missed my friends, and so many have become just that. I so enjoy looking in on everyone and their thoughts, humour, stories. It’s grand to be back. Marilyn found a way to get to my blog and when she couldn’t emailed daily. It meant worlds as does she. :) One of many to be sure,but most prized and special. I also enjoy so much cheking in on your blog. Very entertaining, delightful fun.
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I’m don’t often schedule my blog posts (they’re so few and far between!), but I DO program a lot of my tweets!
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I’m surprised to hear that. Then again, you aren’t likely to end up on the sad end of a situation.
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Oh, there have been a couple of times that I’ve really messed up and then not noticed till hours later. You do have to be careful. Though in all honesty, I’ve screwed up enough tweets in the moment too! :P
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Ha ha – me too 😏
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Nuff said was awesome :D Hahaha!
Great shots! Especially squirrel!
I write about half of my posts beforehand, but I seldom schedule them.
It would have been hard to beat the jackass du jour last Saturday :/
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Seriously. Thanks.
I love that squirrel! I have tons of things sitting between random notes and half done. But I’m fickle.
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Always enjoy your Saturday at the bar posts, Dan! Learning goes along with the liking! Maddie’s pics have to be there! It’s the “foam on the beer.” Is that like frosting on the cake? I know about frosting, not beer! Have a lovely weekend! Christine
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Oh, this is gooood! Very heady with the greatest sense of humor. I gotta have a Yuengling with Cheryl one day. 🙂
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I’m glad you liked this Jennie. Cheryl runs a friendly bar.
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I can tell she does. 😀
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I’ve never heard of soundhound. Thanks for that, Dan. Great storm clouds, too. Loved the bird shot.
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Thanks Audrey. I use SoundHound (sometimes) to help me remember songs that I like hearing. When we drive to Pittsburgh, we need driving music. One song that was added to our recent list was Grateful Dead “Truckin'”
That bird looked like he was trying to figure out where the sun went.
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Good discussion this week. I do not have a cell phone, let alone a SmartPhone so I do not text or get online at all unless I am at my PC. It is not that I am old-fashioned. The money just is not in the budget for the phone or minutes. I do schedule my posts too. I usually write one in two sessions, then edit in a third session. Fourth time around I check my work again, upload it, add the picture, and schedule.
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Thanks. Now for the critical question. Do you ever think about it after it’s scheduled and go in and make changes?
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Yep, I make changes as I see them after they are published. Usually, they are just grammatical changes though.
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Am glad you wrote about tweeting very different subjects than I have seen in the last year. Those made me decide to abandon that tool of social media., even though my (close) friends keep inviting me.
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I keep refining the list of people that I follow. Some of the stuff makes me want to tweet “switch to decaf”
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Chuckle – is decaf good or bad?
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I think I’ve published only one, maybe TWO, blog posts in advance. Not that I do all that many, anyway, alas. For me, the scheduling function is much more useful on Twitter. I’d be lost without it most days, especially at TZ marathon time — as you can imagine!
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I think you’re generally safe with TZ Tweets. It’s ironic though, Last weekend when I first heard the news about what was going on in VA, The DVD I had just switched to began with “Deaths-Head Revisited”
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LOL! Love the weather reporter. So cute.
I added a couple of keyboard shortcuts when I first got my phone, but can’t remember what they are and it takes just as long to look them up so I just type and make mistakes typing all. the. time! Mostly I leave out words. I keep telling my brain and fingers to get in sync, but they still don’t play nice.
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Thanks. If I had to give my fingers a report card, I would check “doesn’t play well with others” for most of them.
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Fun! Maddie’s so expressive in her face and poses.
The squirrel is a unique color. Not as black as some nor gray as others. Wonderful mind reading, Dan. it made me smile.
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Thanks Robin. Maddie had her thoughtful moments.
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Reblogged this on Commentary, Outrages, Prose and commented:
Just found: maybe it was the beer or the booze. Sucker for both. But the text was what caused me to close all this out, walk back uptown to the office and crack open the 21-year-old Bushmill single malt and make sure I had an Anchor Steam in the cold-spot and a backup or seven. This may take some time.
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Welcome to the bar. Thank you!
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Bar? I though it was home. Well! Just pour me ‘nother!
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Easily confused on Saturdays :)
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