The Reluctant Volunteer

Note: This visit to the bar is also part of Linda G. Hills Stream of Consciousness Saturday challenge.

“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: ‘vol.’ Find a word with ‘vol’ in it, and use it in your post. Have fun!”

If we were having a beer, we would soon be missing Cheryl.

“Can I help you guys?”

“Whoa, where’s Cheryl?”

“Cheryl’s on vacation.”

“She was supposed to be back today.”

“She got involved with Hurricane Irma. She was delayed in Atlanta. I volunteered to cover for her.”

“He doesn’t mean the third degree. He’s a creature of habit. For example, he’ll have a Yuengling. I’ll have a Woodford Reserve. “

“Perfect. You want a glass for that beer?”

“Yes, thanks. I didn’t mean to question you like that. We were just expecting Cheryl.”

“It’s OK, I’ve been getting that all day. Her customers really seem to like her. I was expecting her, too.”

“She treats us pretty well.”

“Well, it’s not my first day. Here’s your beer, did you say red wine?”

“No, Woodford Reserve. And, I’d like it in a Brandy snifter with a glass of ice on the side.”

“Hmmm, that’s a strange request, but I think I can handle it.”

“Do you think I could I have one of the frosted glasses?”

“I forgot to put them in the cooler. Actually, I didn’t even wash the glasses before leaving last night.”

“Interesting; the bottle’s fine.”

“Cool, let me know if you want any food.”

“Wow, this place really isn’t the same without Cheryl, is it?”

“I was just thinking the same thing.”

“So, where…”

“…where? Where, what?”

“I’m sorry, hang on a second. Excuse me, do you need to make so much noise back there?”

“Sorry, like I said, I didn’t clean up last night. I need to restock the bar and get these glasses cleaned before it gets busy.”

“Well, I like to think that two paying customers at a bar with seven stools is busy enough for some peace and quiet.”

“I’ll try to be more quiet.”

“Thank you. Now, where were you last week?”

“I was in Iowa, visiting my brother.”

“That’s a long trip for a weekend.”

“I had to be in Minneapolis Tuesday and Wednesday.”

“How far away is that?”

“About three hours.”

“Not far by Midwest standards, I guess. Do anything fun?”

“Saturday and Sunday, we watched a bunch of football, ate like pigs and drank a bit.”

“That’s what this place is missing, football. Excuse me, could you switch the TV to ESPN?”

“Actually, I was watching the beach volleyball.”

“That’s nice, but I think the TVs are for the customers.”

“OK, sure.”

“And, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, in between your restocking and dish-washing, could I get that Bourbon?”

“Sorry, right away.”

“This is revolting. We need to give Cheryl a very nice tip next week.”

“We can give her what we don’t give him. Ah, at least we have football.”

“OK, I switched to ESPN, and here’s your Bourbon. Let me know if you need anything else.”

“Excuse me, Skippy…”

“Brad, my name is Brad.”

“Well, Brad, this is Gentleman Jack. It’s good Whiskey, but it’s not what I ordered. Also, I asked for it in a Brandy snifter with a glass of ice…on the side.”

“I’m sorry. Here’s a glass of ice, and here’s some Woodford Reserve – in – a – brandy – snifter.”

“Wonderful. Now, could you pour the rest of it?”

“Excuse me?”

“The Bourbon, that’s about half the amount they usually pour. My friend would like to get his money’s worth when he pays the tab.”

“Wait, who said I’m paying?”

“I assure you, sir, that’s a full shot. Would you like me to measure it?”

“If I wanted a measured volume of Bourbon, I’d visit a bar at the airport.”

“Fine, I’ll add a splash…there, better?”

“Thank you. Here’s to absent friends.”

“Message received. Would you like another beer?”

“Yes, Yuengling.”

“I put a few glasses in the cooler, do you want one.”

“No, I’ve been watching you wash those. I’ll stick with the bottle.”

“Sure…coming right up.”

“That was a little harsh.”

“I’m sorry, that was a half-assed job he was doing.”

“At least he’s consistent.”

“Are you referring to the de-motivaitonal poster?”

“Huh?”

“Despair.com – home of the funniest posters, ever. I keep the one they have for consistency on my phone.”

From the funny folks at Despair.com

“That’s hilarious.”

“Would you guys like some food?”

“Yes, but please write this down. I’d like wings, barbeque sauce and Parmesan Peppercorn dressing.”

“Got it, and for you?”

“I’d like a sausage grinder.”

“Peppers, onions and cheese?”

“Peppers, no onions, Provolone cheese, and another Bourbon.”

“He’s never gonna get that right.”

“I think he will.”

“Bet the tab on that?”

“You’re on.”


The gallery includes some from my visit to Iowa and few after my return home.

79 thoughts on “The Reluctant Volunteer

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  1. Well, here it is only 6;50 a.m. and I have a large cup of coffee while I am reading this, but I’m starving. You had some good eats there, guy. I actually had a pulled pork wrap yesterday but it wasn’t in root beer. I’m going to try that next time because it sounds delicious. Glad you and your brother had an opportunity to visit – your Mom is smiling. :-) Hope Cheryl gets back so your weekly routine can return to normal. :-)

    Liked by 3 people

  2. We had a waitress like that once. We discussed the paucity of her coming tip, apparently where someone who liked her heard us, because she suddenly morphed into Perfect Waitress. Either that, or she started out as Evil Twin and tag-teamed with Good Twin. Or she was a split personality. Or she went into the stockroom and took a hit of coke. Or … or something. It was a decided change for the better, anyway.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Oh yum – those breakfast plates look wonderful and I’m ready for breakfast!!

    A bar where they hand-wash the glasses? I thought there was a requirement to machine wash them at a specified (high) temperature. That might explain why the dishes in some places seem to be of questionable cleanliness :/

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Im glad you’re ready to eat, Joanne. I figured breakfast photos were ok on a Saturday.

      The glass washing process is complicated. The water is clearly very hot, and they add prepackaged detergent, don rubber gloves and scrub/wash/rinse/wipe – but only for beer glasses. Everything else is machine washed. Unless our regular bartender is on, I just take the bottle.

      Like

  4. Awesome! LMAO. I’m so sorry to have had to abandon you guys. Hurricanes are terrible and two evacuvactiona in two years takes its toll. I am happy to know my work ethic is recognized and missed. Missed you guys also. But Atlanta was welcoming, friendly and awesome. We caught the tail end of Irma’s rampage there just before we returned home. Thank God our little home was still standing. Oh…and Brad no longer works here. Something about watering down drinks and skimming the register. 😏
    Maddie looks so happy to see you! That food looks terrific. Although ‘severing’ the pork sandwich sounds a bit severe for a football treat. 😉Beautiful cat too.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Ok. I need to say: “The editor does not edit photo captions!” That’s on me. I work with too many servers.

      We missed you, for sure. I hope this means you can work next Saturday.

      Maddie is working me back into our normal routine. We’ve sat, slept on the couch and we’ve walked. Tomorrow we’ll share some pumpernickel toast. His cats are Butch and Sundance. Hard to tell them apart but they don’t seem to like me sitting in their chair.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lol. I’ll be back behind the bar with butterflies on. And clean glasses. Ohhh I love pumpernickel and rye toast. Sure the cats’ names aren’t Sheldon? By the by, what does your Woodford Reserve friend think of Blanton’s?

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I’ve not had breakfast yet and this post has my tummy growling! French toast, eggs, pulled pork sandwiches, OH! It all looks and sounds delicious right now!

    Maddie is a happy girl to have you home. I love how much Diva Dog gets so excited to see me when I’ve been gone for awhile. She scolds me too letting me know she didn’t like me being gone so long.

    Sorry, Brad was such a disappointment, and happy to know Cheryl is safe, and will return next week to the bar. :)

    Will you let us know how the food order came? The poll was fun.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. That breakfast would have been better served on a Star Trek plate. Just sayin’…

    That darn Maddie is so adorable! I can only hope I get the same greeting from the kids when I get home.

    Glad Cheryl and hubby are home safe and she’s back at the bar. It’s hard to find good help these days.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I would have preferred Enterprise china, but you know what they say about beggars.

      Cheryl will be back and serving up well-poured drinks, cold beer and witty banter. She said Brad has been fired.

      Maddie says she’ll send you a smooch if Gibbs and Ziva don’t come through for you.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Wow, that was a rough day!! I’m glad you both survived. I’m also glad I’d finished eating lunch before reading this and looking at your photos. :-) I involuntarily drooled. (Notice, the “vol” in involuntary, which WP won’t let me capitalize because it’s in the middle of the word. Sigh.

    janet

    Liked by 2 people

  8. This post reminds me that I need to go put my roast in the oven if I expect to have pot roast sammiches when I get up tomorrow! Thank you! That pulled pork has me like whoa.
    Also, I am dying over the pancakes and French toast on the same plate! WOW, The Mister needs that.
    LOVE the look of Maddie’s smile :D
    I think that conversation completely describes what so many people experience in ‘service’. Even I appreciate Cheryl more right now, and she’s not my server!
    I can’t bear when they don’t write the **** down and then bring me the wrong ****. UGH!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The pulled pork was excellent. We had it fresh out of the crockpot Saturday and sandwiched Sunday afternoon. My brother made bacon & eggs Sunday morning.

      Perkins calls that breakfast “indecision” and it was perfect ‘cuz I wanted pancakes on the side of something.

      I think Cheryl might be updating the story today. We need her back. Wings without parmPep, just don’t work as well. Simple thing, but…

      Thanks for stopping by. Go check that roast.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I’m bout ready to get that roast out. It smells good.

        We don’t have a Perkins anymore. There’s one north of the city. It was the end of an era when ours closed. That had been THE after drinks place and THE breakfast hangover place. Also, we miss the muffins.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. This particular visit to the bar is largely based on real experience, although not at my regular watering hole. Of course it had to wait for Cheryl to not be available, because she would never…

          Like

  9. I loved the “vol” inserts, Dan!
    My favorite photos were of a very special breakfast which you labeled “Indecision.” Yummy! I like combination breakfasts like a “buffet on a plate.”
    You certainly painted the male bartender in a bad light. I hope he improves and you see more Cheryl soon!! 🍷🍺

    Liked by 1 person

    1. In my experience, there are good and bad in both genders. It varies though. If I generalize based on the ones I’ve dealt with, good male bartenders tend to talk sports. Good female bartenders tend to just have conversations. Bad bartenders of both genders seem to treat it like a clock-in, work, clock-out type of job.

      Like

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