Let The Voices Do This

“Do us a favor?”

This is your idea of doing us a favor, giving us the prompt on a day you’re filling in for Linda? You think that somehow that lets you off the hook of: “don’t give this too much though.” We got news for you, you’re not often guilty of giving things too much thought. That’s just our observation from the corner of your brain that you tried to keep us tucked into.

What are you afraid of?

Lots of people listen to the voices in their head, and they aren’t all serial killers. See, you could have used serial/cereal as the prompt. Do you realize you had the entire SoCS universe in the palm of your hand and you went with do/dew/due. Anyway, listening to us has never gotten you into trouble. Okay, maybe it has, but not the kind of trouble you’ve gotten into with the so-called “professional” part of your brain. That’s the part that decided that telling your wife:

you don’t even really look pregnant, you just look a little fat

…was a good idea. Remember that? You thought that would make her feel better about her early pregnancy weight gain. Good job bozo. You could put that on one of John Howell’s top-10 things not to EVER do list. It’s a good thing Tiny isn’t some distant relative of hers.

Of course, you know us too well, and you know the temptation of bonus points is too hard for us to resist.

So, we’ve taken care of the ‘do’ part of doing the prompt, and we’re all set on ending with ‘due’ but ‘dew?’ – that’s hard. I guess we could refer to some dew-covered grass and flower photos, but in all honesty, that was fog, not dew. Do you know the difference? Well according to one source:

“To describe fog, one must be familiar with the term cloud. Cloud is a visible accumulation of tiny…”

Oh, my goodness, make it stop! That’s the kind of thing you would write! You lock us in the corner of your brain with the cobwebs, and go on for three or four paragraphs about atmospheric phenomena while most of your readers are looking for the “slap the author of this blog” button.

Just remember: phenomena blogs = low ratings. Terribly low ratings. Worst ever.

We know, we know, No Politics on No Facilities! Sheesh, you’re so up-tight. Remember up-tight? Yeah, from the 60s…kinda. It’s actually from the 30s but you wouldn’t know that.

No, it’s OK to talk about the origin of a word – that’s not a phenomenon – that’s a jazz term and by definition, jazz terms are OK.

Since we’re in the 60s, remember Mountain Dew? No, not the pop – hey, it’s your childhood, which means Pittsburgh, which means pop, not so-dah like they say up here in snooty New England.

We’re talking about Hee Haw. No, not Hoo-Ha – that’s entirely different – stop trying to get us in trouble. Hee Haw was the country music variety show you used to watch with your dad and grandmother. Remember Grandpa Jones? The old guy on Hew Haw. He played the banjo and sang “Good Old Mountain Dew” while jumping up and down like an 8-year-old (instead of 80-year-old). Go find a link for that on You Tube while we finish without you looking over our shoulder, and trying to make us bore your readers to death.

We miss variety shows. Variety shows were like the voices in the head of television. They were spontaneous, and less well thought-out than situation comedies and dramas. Variety shows were more of a stream-of-consciousness exercise than even the so-call “reality” shows we are stuck with today. Sure, they were written, planned, and rehearsed, but they were live and they were fun to watch. Hee Haw, The Carole Burnett Show, The Jackie Gleason Show, The Red Skelton Show – we could go on, but that’s where we learned to be wise guys.

Those guys always knew when it was time to go, and they all ended with a signature song, or statement: Hee Haw – “May your pleasures be many, your troubles be few…” Carole Burnett – “I’m so glad we had this time together…” Jackie Gleason – “Goodnight, everybody!” and Red Skelton – “God Bless and Good Night.”

What do we have?

We have bonus points and they are long overdue!


This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday challenge. I filled in for Linda today, but the challenge emanates from there:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “do/dew/due”. Use one, use two or use all three. If you start and end with two of them, you get bonus points. If you use all three AND start and end with two of them, you get Linda’s bonus points plus, I’ll match hers – from me to you. And, lest we all forget – Enjoy!

The gallery includes a few of those foggy shots and beneath that. Grandpa Jones is ready to entertain you. The video is only 2 minutes long and it’s super fun.

60 thoughts on “Let The Voices Do This

Add yours

  1. I miss the ‘good old days’ of TV, not the crap we are fed today with these endless ‘reality’ shows … I guess that statement now makes me officially old ;)

    It was a fun meander through your SOC today, Dan. You *do* it right!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Joanne. A friend posted a story about Jackie Gleason on Facebook. I’ve been thinking about variety shows ever since. It didn’t surprise me that it popped up here. I loved his show. Maybe that’s why I’m so comfortable at a bar 😏

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Doods…Ummm I mean dudes! You are too funny for voices, but that’s a good thing. It keeps us from those Dan Wikipedia explanations.

    Loved HeeHaw and all of it’s silliness. It appealed to my cornball sense of humor, as did the Carol Burnett show. They also made me laugh til I cried. That kind of show and humor is long overdue.

    PS: I have no comments about dew and I no longer drink the snooty soda Mountain Dew.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Mary. He’s letting us handle the comments, too. He really wanted to explain clouds. Ugh, I mean, the best thing you can do with clouds is figure out what they look like. Who needs a lecture on ice crystals.

      Jackie Gleason was the show that got this post started off the cliff. A friend on Facebook, posted a very young picture of Jackie, along with an article and we’ve been thinking about (missing) variety shows ever since.

      Have a great weekend. Stress-free since you already got that win on Thursday.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I always, ALWAYS learn something here at No Facilities – “Up tight” is from the 30’s, eh? I remember when it was used disparagingly toward me in the 60’s. For not enjoying the loud music. Kinda stung. Still does. Or is that “do-es”?

    Triple bonus points plus a free coffee refill from me!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Maggie. “Up tight” could also mean “excellent” – Let’s go with that meaning for you. At this point, your ears probably like that you didn’t enjoy loud music in the 60s. Thanks for the bonus points and coffee refill. It’s cool and raining here today, I can use an extra cup.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hahahaha! Your poor dear wife! And I’m so glad there’s no “slap the author” button on WordPress. Many of us would be sore. Hahaha!
    I’m not sure all of Carol Burnett was scripted. The best part was when they made each other laugh so hard they couldn’t go on with the sketch. :D
    Love the photos!
    Thank you, corner of Dan’s brain! :D

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, any woman who has gone through pregnancy, always understands, always looks at me as if I was an idiot and always, always takes my wife’s side. I will never live that one down.

      And, from the voices:

      Thanks for providing the means by which we get out of our corner (sometimes). We love the “no editing” rules because that means he can’t “fix” what we’ve said. You’re right about Carole Burnett, When that crew got going, I think the writers must have just been scratching their heads. I wish we had something like that today.

      Like

  5. I do think I have to give you your due here, Dan. You’re no dewy-eyed author, but someone who can always start my day out right. I don’t think much of what’s on TV anymore, although I was thrilled that a new season of “NCIS” and “Blue Bloods” started this week. Most of what’s on I do not watch. I think you might have missed a chance to say something about do-wop here, but hey, not problem. (Had to include that last, as I know how much you love it.) Happy Saturday!

    janet

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Janet. I had to choose one genre and stick with it, sorta. I never really know where those wise guys are going. I don’t watch much current TV, but I’ve seen a lot of NCIS and Blue Bloods in syndication. The reruns seem to be on at a better time for me. I’m getting enough do-wop, since it’s PBS fundraising time…again.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Love that video with Grandpa Jones! Despite the name, he wasn’t that old; he was born in 1913, so he didn’t turn 60 until 1973. He got the name because he was so grumpy. “Hee Haw” was a hell of a good show, and some of the best country musicians and comedians were on, both in the cast and as guest stars. Even city folk like me liked it.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Dude, the voices KILL me! Haha!
    Yeah, we’re allowed to say we look a little fat at the beginning. I always say there’s this gray area when no one can tell if you’re pregnant, it just looks like you mighta been hittin the ice cream pretty hard, but it’s then someone else’s job to say how glowy and beautiful and magical we look ;)
    I loved Hee Haw when I was a kid. And Carol Burnett. Today’s ‘variety’ shows are a far cry from what they were. Closest I get is SNL.
    Dew, fog, steam, condensation, you know all the differences? Lawd. You could let those voices out to me over a beer, I love to learn.
    Nice job today — on both the giveth and receiveth :)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw, thanks. Yeah, I get the difference between what you can say and what CAN’T be said about you. I still like SNL but I don’t stay up to watch it often.

      Don’t tempt the voices, they’d leave me in a heartbeat.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Wow, you get all the Bonus points!! Really fun post!

    You really should have pushed the celebrate and wear your baby bump with pride thing…it’s all the rage now thankfully. You’d have been avant garde then. :)

    I loved watching all those variety shows, and later I liked Laugh-In but at time it felt canned or too scripted.

    I never really cared for Mountain Dew preferring 7-Up instead.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Oh goodie! My little buddies have come out to play!👏🏻 I loved variety shows. Carol Burnett was my make believe favorite aunt. My Mom let me stay up PAST 9 to watch her show. 💕And Laugh In. Recently we have found some obscure channels waaay up on the satellite network section that plays a lot of the old variety shows as well as classics we both love. The Munsters, Mr Ed, Hazel, the frigging Partridge Family….oh David…hmmm…what? Oh yeah, the photos are beautiful Dan. Franks for the memories. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Thanks for taking on the hosting dooo-ties today! You gave us a variety of word prompts to think about. It’s a bit like those variety TV programs of yore. I probably watched them all at one time or another. My favorite song from ‘Hee-Haw’ is the one where the guys and hound dog are sitting on the porch, singing about ‘gloom, despair, and agony’. :) Wasn’t Mountain Dew slang for moonshine? Not sure, but could be.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was s pleasure, filling in for Linda. She’s so good to us with these prompts.

      I remember the song you’re talking about, particularly the hound dog. Mountain Dew is/was moonshine. That’s what Grandpa is singing about.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Yahoo! Mountain Dew! Do you remember that?

    And here I thought calling a soft drink pop was just a western thing. Me being from Colorado, of course, I called it pop. I know that my husband and in-law [from Michigan] call it soda.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Watching Hee Haw was a regular family event as a kid. Good wholesome clean fun! I had forgotten that ending until now. Thanks for reminding me! Loved the post. Nice to have serial/cereal in your back pocket ;)

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Ok, before I read others’ answers and comments: my favorite two variety show were The Smothers Brothers and Sonny and Cher show and then, the Carol Burnett show. 🎤🔔😁
    * I like to “do” things outdoors, in the “dew”y grass and like new hair “do’s.”
    I used to enjoy The Ed Sullivan Show which brought us four Sundays of the Beatles!! I loved it. . . .”yeah, yeah, yeah!” 🎶

    Liked by 1 person

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