One-Liner Wednesday – No Offense Intended

Humor, One Line Wed, Sports 56 comments

For those one-liner purists, i.e. the folks who think I’ve already written too many words before getting to the one-liner, here you go:

“Hey – don’t pick on the laundry lady!”

See? It doesn’t make much sense without a little back story.

The back story involves football. I know, I know, a lot of you don’t like football, but if you’ve been counting, the number of football posts on No Facilities is Zee-Row for 2017. Baseball is another story, but…

Despite the fact that I’ve lived in Connecticut for over 35 years, I am not a fan of the University of Connecticut sports teams. That’s mainly because they used to be in the Big East Conference and routinely played my alma mater(s), West Virginia (undergrad)and The University of Pittsburgh (grad). UConn, WVU and Pitt no longer play each other, but rivalries tend to linger.

So, when UConn lost to Boston College (39-16) – even though BC was playing their backup QB – on Saturday night, it was a feel-good moment for me. On Sunday, when I was reading the story in the Hartford Courant, I had to stop and snicker at UConn coach Randy Edsall’s comment:

“Big plays hurt us all year long… We’re not built to go three-and-out and use less than a minute and put our defense right back out there.”

Excuse me, Randy, but it seems you are specifically built for that exact scenario. It’s what you’ve been doing all year long.

That quote was going to be the one-liner.

My snarky nature came to the forefront when I read that 13 of UConn’s 16 points came toward the end of the 4th quarter in what is known as “garbage time” or the point where the winning team is no longer playing their star players. I explained that to my wife by saying:

“So, UConn only scored more than three points after BC had put in their third-string players, members of their practice squad, and the laundry lady.”

No offense to the laundry lady at BC or in this house, I just meant that UConn is playing pathetic football. I don’t want to be doing my own laundry.

This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s fun weekly series One-Liner Wednesday. You can follow this link to see the one-liners from the other participants.

Looking east from a stop sign on my way to Great River Park
Pretty soon I won’t be seeing the sunrise on my way to work.
Sunrise from the shoulder of the on-ramp
Late autumn sunrise
It snowed on Dunkin’ Donuts, too.
Seasons meeting
Maddie brought me her shamrock this day. Then she decided to use it as a pillow.
Early morning contrail reflecting the rising sun.
We had a very light dusting of snow overnight.
the temp in my office on Monday (the heat is very low over the weekend) – that’s 15°c
I’m not normally a fan of starting Christmas before Thanksgiving, but the cups before this featured the Patriots logo – who needs to see that?

56 comments

  2. Beautiful sunrise photos Dan. I. Don’t. Football. My brain is short circuiting this morning. Out celebrating our anniversary last night. The local pubs are cool here but they allow smoking…,
    Coffee…now that looks enticing. Hello sleepy Maddie!

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  3. That’s right. You are surrounded by three lovely ladies who make your life easier and make you smile. Don’t make them mad especially before the big meal tomorrow. :-) And, what, that Patriot cup provided a little aftertaste in your morning coffee? Thanks for the chuckle. :-) Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

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    1. Ha ha, yes, Judy, the coffee was bitter in that cup. I almost wanted to drive to Pittsburgh, get a stack of Steelers cups and hand one to the clerk each day.

      Tomorrow, counting the humans and the critters, it will be 5-1 in favor of females. I better watch what I say.

      Sometimes, when I pick up MuMu (the larger kitty-girl) I say “ooof” – that gets a look.

      Happy Thanksgiving.

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        1. My daughter will be at the game in December, going with a crew from the company she works for. My guess is they will meet twice this year. I hope with better (for me) results.

          I think DD will fill a to-go cup. Maybe I need to take my Steeler cup in during that promotion.

          It gets worse in February, they start using UConn basketball cups.

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  8. True, Dan. The one-liners need a little backstory. But imagine this: You supply the one-liner, then everyone in the comments creates their own mini-story about the speaker and the circumstances. Or at least tries to guess where you were, and when, and what led up to it. Just a thought!

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  10. Um, if I were you I would not get the laundry lady in a sniff. You do like your clean socks, don’t you? Again your humor gave me a chuckle and I just happen to agree with you about football. No fan to be found here. That closeup shot of the leaf with snow on it … very creative! I really like how you are using your artistic eye more. As for that 59 degrees …. oh my gosh! That is COLD! Have a great Thanksgiving, Dan …. you are yours!!! 🦃💞

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  11. Good mercy, I don’t know what’s worse, drinking from a Patriots cup or picking on the laundry lady. You know I don’t give two figs about football, but the one fig I do give is anti-Patriots. I’d bring my travel cup.
    We were supposed to get some snow, but we got a bit of rain instead. I don’t mind, I don’t think snow would have stuck.

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  12. Not a big fan of football, Dan. You do make it interesting to read about though. But Sunrises, Snow & Maddie pics? I’m a big fan! It’s going to hit the 90s here in Southern CA today. Yikes! Back to flip-flops & tank tops for Thanksgiving. Happy Thankful Day, Dan! 😎 Christine

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  14. You talked football, showed pictures of snow, and dissed the laundry lady. That’s 3 strikes, Antion.

    Wait … I might be mixing sports here.
    What’s the equivalent to 3 strikes in football? Gah … now I’m talking football too.

    Never mind. As you were.

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  20. I really liked the late Autumn sunrise photos. I have taken a few on pretty mornings, but haven’t found time to write much. I tend to want to be creative when I see those amazing skies!
    I actually almost posted a holiday coffee cup from McDonald’s and another from Starbucks (which has two kinds this year). 😃

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