One-Liner Wednesday – Knowledge vs. Speed

Humor, One Line Wed, Wildlife 73 comments

“You snooze you lose…unless you have kitchen privileges“

I pulled into our driveway on Sunday morning, and found two squirrels waiting in the yard. They seem to know that we carry nuts (or perhaps we are nuts) with us in the car. As I walked over to toss them a few peanuts, they heard some squawking and ran to the dogwood for protection. I tossed the peanuts. As they started to come down, two blue jays arrived in the tree. For a few seconds. everyone stood still, then the blue jays swooped in and scarfed up the peanuts.

I went inside, but a few minutes later, I could hear a gentle tapping on the front door. The two squirrels were waiting on the porch.

This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s fun weekly series One-Liner Wednesday. If you have a one-liner, I’d encourage you to join in on the fun. You can follow this link participate and to see the one-liners from the other participants.

“Hi. You’re the guy that lives with the lady who feeds us. Did she give you some nuts for us?”
“I thought I heard something…”
Center left is the blue jay swooping in.”
Obviously, I wasn’t planning for action shots. This guy is about to nab a peanut.”
“Yoink – You snooze, you lose squirrel.”
“The peanuts were here until those blue jays butted in.”
“C’mon, we can get some nuts up here.”
“Those blue jays to the peanuts.”
“Did you ask him for more peanuts?”
“Hey, did you take both peanuts? One of those was for me.”

73 comments

  2. When I used to feed my squirrels, the blue jays were relentless. If I withheld the nuts, they squawked till they drove me nuts! But I did notice that sometimes the jays would land not far away and pull a leaf over the nut to hide it – I’d go over and retrieve the nut. :) I often wondered if they ever came back to locate those morsels of dinner.

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  4. This made me LOL because I now have this picture in my head of two squirrels sitting up on their hauches as you open the door, begging you with their little squirrel eyes. That is too funny and you and the Editor are wonderful animal lovers.

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    1. I’m glad you enjoyed this. The squirrel we call Sammy is such a little beggar. He knows we are soft touches and he plays to that. He sits up and does that little beggy thing with his front feet. The other day, I commented (as I got a look at his belly) that he didn’t exactly look like he was starving.

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  9. Ha ha! Your squirrels are ingenious just knocking on the door like they are canvassing for donations to be paid in nuts. I have obese squirrels in my garden because the birds we feed toss so much food around that the squirrels don’t need to do much foraging. Still, they haven’t figured out how to knock on doors. Yet.

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    1. My wife tosses bird seed any other feed out for the birds, and the squirrels come and visit. She goes out to add to the feast, and eventually, they connected the door with food. They know our patterns better than we do,

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  10. I laughed at the thought of a squirrel tapping on your door. He definitely has you two pegged as softies 🙂 … but that first photo is priceless. Maybe he shouldn’t be flaunting that portly belly if he’s trying to convince you that he’s starving 😉

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    1. That’s so funny, Joanne. That’s what I told him: “you don’t appear to be starving, Sammy!” Still, when he stands like that right in front of the door, it’s hard to say no. Our littlest cat wants to go play with him. She goes to the door and watches, not in an aggressive manner, but more like “can I go play with Sammy?”

      Maybe we are nuts.

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  12. ‘or perhaps we are nuts’–the perfect one-liner. I can just picture them knocking on your door, looking at one another and saying, “I hear him coming to the door.” What a riot! You and these squirrels are too funny, Dan.

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    1. Thanks Lois. My wife had told me about Sammy knocking, but this was the first time I experienced it. They just looked so cute, and having just seen the Blue Jays take their peanuts, I caved immediately. It’s a good thing they aren’t selling vinyl siding.

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  14. I went inside, but a few minutes later, I could hear a gentle tapping on the front door. The two squirrels were waiting on the porch.

    I got to say, those east coast squirrels are down right polite. Here in the midwest, if you don’t pay tribute, you get your yard trashed.

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  16. These squirrels are too cute for words but they are playing you and your wife like an old violin!

    I can’t believe the great shots you got, especially of the blue jays. They are mean birds. Thank goodness those adorable squirrels know you will appear with more nuts for them and they don’t feel compelled to fight it out to the finish with the blue jays.

    I think your next DIY project should be installing a bell just above the deck floor so they can reach it. Their poor little knuckles! Wait…do squirrels have knuckles?

    If you and your wife are nuts, then this world needs more nuts like you!!

    This is one funny post.

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    1. Thanks! When our daughter was little, I made a squirrel feeder. It required them to go up a little ladder and push open a wire mesh door. The squirrels figured it out, but the Blue Jays couldn’t. Except, the squirrels would take some nuts and bury them and the jays would watch, swoop down and dig them up.

      We do understand that they are playing us. We don’t mind, until they have all their friends over. Sometimes it seems they like to entertain.

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  28. That happened to the squirrels we fed in Michigan. We ended up spending as much time scaring the blue jays away as we did feeding the squirrels. We did finally solve the problem but I think I’ll keep that story for a future post.

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  30. People don’t expect squirrels to knock but I believe this! So happy about your little, persistent visitors. I loved the blue blurry photo of the blue jay swooping down!
    I like birds and squirrels! Oh, dogs, ponies and kitties are also special. 💞

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