Dan Antion

Waffle Baseball Christmas

The perfect place and beverage to share some casual conversation.

You’ll be reminding me that I am late again for our Saturday beer.

“Should we just start drinking at three-thirty instead of three?”

“And Merry Christmas to you, too.”

“Since I didn’t greet you, I sense that you are avoiding my complaint.”

“By all means, avoid his complaint and order. I’ve been listening to him gripe for ten minutes.”

“Hi Cheryl, Merry Christmas. I’ll have a Yuengling and bring Scrooge a glass of bourbon, unless he prefers wine.”

“Bourbon is fine, with…”

“…with a snifter of seltzer on the side.”

“And a glass of ice, Cheryl. But I would like to get back to my complaint.”

“I wouldn’t. I’m avoiding your complaint, and your humbug. It’s Christmas, and I choose to be happy.”

“Christmas is Monday. If anything, today is yule.”

“I’m sorry, as far as I’m concerned, it’s Christmas. I know that the winter solstice occurred on Thursday. I know that Hanukkah has come and gone. I know there are other holidays to celebrate, FBS bowl games are underway, the NFL season is coming to a close, hockey is heating up and pitchers and catchers report in fifty-three days, but it’s Christmas.”

“Pitchers and catchers report in fifty-three days?”

“They do.”

“As far as I’m concerned, that’s the start of spring.”

“You’ll usher spring in almost forty days early, but you’ll quibble with me over Christmas?”

“He needs to pick on you for something. He’s angry that you were late. Here’s your beer, your bourbon, your seltzer and your ice. If you boys want some food, you’re welcome to sample some of the stuff the employees brought in to share.”

“Aw, that’s nice. It’s like we’re family.”

“You are family. You argue like the old married couples in my family.”

“I’ll drink to family.”

“And Christmas?”

“Yes, and Christmas. So, did you finish your shopping?”

“Oh, I finished earlier this week.”

“Then why were you late? I mean, I know you weren’t that late, but I just assumed you were shopping.”

“I was wrapping.”

“Did you finish wrapping?”

“No.”

“Then why on earth were you late?”

“I was watching a movie. It ended at three o’clock and I came right over.”

“Let me guess, the Hallmark Channel?”

“Don’t make fun, some of those are pretty good.”

“No offense, Cheryl. But no, I wasn’t watching the Hallmark Channel.”

“Then what? What was more important than meeting me on time?”

“The Magnificent Seven.”

“The Magnif…aw, OK. I can’t even pretend to be mad. I would have stayed for that, too.”

“It was timely. I was just reading Robert Vaughn’s autobiography.”

“The Man From Uncle?”

“Yes, and one of the stars in The Magnificent Seven.”

“Wait, you’re not trying to rope me into that trivia thing your buddy David tricked you with, are you?”

“No, this has to do with baseball.”

“Baseball??? The movie was about gunfighters saving a village in Mexico.”

“Yes, but in his autobiography, Robert Vaughn talked about how Yul Brynner used to yell out:  ‘Waffle! Baseball!’ to warm up his voice.”

“Why would he do that?”

“To piss everybody off. It’s a long story, you’ll have to read the book.”

“I’ll wait for the movie. I’m going to sample some of that food.”

“I’m going to order some wings.”

“OK, but get five with Buffalo sauce.”

“Did I hear an order for wings?”

“You did Cheryl. Five barbeque, five buffalo…”

“Blue cheese and Parm-Pep dressing. You want another round?”

“I do. I’m not sure about bourbon boy.”

“I think I might switch to wine. They have hummus. I love hummus, but it goes better with wine than bourbon.”

“You may want to stick with Bourbon.”

“Why Cheryl?”

“That’s not hummus.”

“It’s not? It looks like hummus.”

“It’s pureed hot dogs.”

“Whaaaaaa?”

“Yep, if you still want to switch to wine, I’d recommend red. It pairs nicely with hot dogs.”

“I’d switch to beer. Hot dogs, beer and baseball – that’s America baby.”

“Bourbon! John Howell’s Bourbon!”

This visit to the bar is also part of Linda G. Hill’s fun prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “yule/you’ll/Yul.” Start your post with one of them. Have fun!

Yeah, that’s not Hummus.
Breads, cookies, muffins and yogurt thingies.
Candied bacon and pepper bacon.
Wings, barbecue and buffalo with Blue Cheese and Parm-Pep.
Seltzer
Kielbasa in some spicy sauce.
Oreo truffles

55 comments

  2. Pureed hot dogs? Umm…no. My preference would be the chocolates and everything else that’s sweet.

    I think you’ll get bonus points for using the yule season and Yul Brynner in a post. I was going to do it poetically, but ran out of time. Merry Happy Christmas!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Thanks Mary. One of our engineers brought in puréed hot dogs and offered it as hummus.

      Thanks for the bonus points. I hope your season is settling down and that you can quietly enjoy a wonderful holiday weekend.

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  5. Waffle! Baseball! That’s an idea. Instead of hot dogs, we’ll have waffles and watch the opening games of pre-season baseball, (that’s practice time to see if the waffles help my team’s scoring!)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  6. OREO TRUFFLES! I just this week talked to a lady who makes those for Christmas! And pureed hot dogs…hmmm…. Sounds like something my family would go nuts for. Not my married family, my born-from family. Although they would probably prefer pureed baloney. ANYWAY, I don’t blame you for being late because you were watching a Yul Brenner movie. Lord have mercy. But I prefer The Seven Samurai to The Magnificent Seven, actually. Man, if I could find a mash-up of Yul Brenner and Toshiro Mifune, I’d have to watch it from the safety of a cold shower. Oh, my God, did I type all that OUT LOUD? Well, MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS to you and yours.

    Liked by 2 people

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  8. Not possible to remake The Magnificent Seven because….well, because it’s magnificent! Those seven dwarfs, I mean gunfighters, were one of a kind!

    Ummmmm, puréed hotdogs? No thanks. Oreo truffles? Yes please.

    “Bourbon boy” may need a little more bourbon to mellow out!!

    Funny, funny post. Thanks for the laugh on a cold rainy day here. —-Ginger—-

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Thanks Ginger. I agree with your thoughts on the remake, the hot dogs and the truffles. Bourbon boy will settle down in time for Christmas. I’m glad you enjoyed this. Have a wonderful weekend.

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      Reply

  11. I have never liked Hot Dogs, and pureed isn’t going to change my mind or taste buds any time soon. I’ve always said they taste like hair. But, I think if my Mother had served hots dogs with a slice of candied bacon wrapped in a waffle I’d be a Hot Dog fan and eater. :)

    Those Oreo Truffles look so. good! I want those!

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  13. Yul Brenner….wha?…oh yeah. Ground up ho…excuse me but WTF? I don’t even like when they make ‘hummus’ out of strange veggies. On to that chocolate plate though. Bourbon! For the bartender! No seltzer….please. Merry Christmas Dan!

    Liked by 3 people

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  18. I am deeply confused by the pureed hot dogs. I mean, I eat hot dogs a coupla times a year and I even eat bologna at the beach, or Aunt B’s bologna salad — Heck, I even eat scrapple, but WHY puree hot dogs? What is that about?
    Curious about Oreo truffles, I cain’t lie.
    Gosh it’s good eatin this time of year! :D

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • Fortunately, I am not a fan of hummus, so I did not try the pureed hot dogs. I like hot dogs just fine, but in a bun with mustard and onions. I ate a “ham salad” that my mom made with ground baloney, and I ate fried baloney.

      All I can tell you about the Oreo Truffles is: don’t make them too big. After much research, I can say that there is something about their small size that helps.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

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