How Much Will That Cost? – #SoCS

Today’s visit to the bar is inspired (see confession below) by Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is ‘fine.’ Use it any way you’d like, bonus points if you use it as the last word of your post. Have fun!

If we were having a beer, you would be laughing at me, but willing to help.

“Looks like you’ve gone and done it.”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”


“What about math?”

“One beer plus one glass of wine equals one happy bartender – you guys ready to order?”

“I like that math, Cheryl. I’ll have a Naughty Nurse.”

“I am going to go with Bourbon today, Cheryl.”

“Ooh, top shelf, that’s even better bartender math.”

“So, tell me genius, how are you going to write a math poem?”

“I can’t believe you read Mary’s comment.”

“Read it? I haven’t stopped laughing. You do know that ‘one two, buckle my shoe’ has already been done.”

“Three four, here’s a strong pour…I saw her comment, too, Dan. I think you’re toast.”

“Thanks Cheryl…for the beer. I’ll figure something out.”

“This is fine bourbon; John Howell has good taste. Why do you care so much about math, anyway?”

“I don’t think people appreciate the importance of math in problem solving.”

“Show me one current problem where math is being used at a level ordinary people should understand.”

“How about if I show you one where it’s not being used?”

“OK, Einstein – either way you want to go.”

“How many teachers, times how many guns, times how much training, plus how much insurance is less than or equal to inexpensive?”

“You left out bullets.”

“Look guys, if you’re going to debate that dumbass idea, take it to a table.”

“Don’t worry, Cheryl. The idea isn’t the point.”

“And what, my young friend, is the point?”

“The point is that someone says something is inexpensive, or too expensive, or easy, or unsustainable and most people don’t do the math. They just accept it as a fact, or they dismiss it as impossible, based on whether or not they like the person.”

“Agreed, but how often are we faced with stuff like this?”

“Stuff like this? Like transportation? Like taxes? Like tariffs? “Like tax breaks for companies that want to move here or stay here? Like tuition increases” Like teacher pensions? It’s all math!”

“You might be onto something.”

“What, you agree with me? I might buy you that bourbon.”

“No, of course not. But your mini-rant might make a good poem.”

“I don’t see how.”

“You boys want some wings today? Ten for ten dollars, twenty for eighteen. Do the math guys.”

“That sounds good Cheryl. By the time they’re up, I should be ready for beer number two.”

“I’m good with the wings, but the math is boring – it hurts my head. I came here to relax. Can I get some napkins, Cheryl?”

“With the wings? Or now?”

“Now, please.”

“Wait a minute…You’re an investment advisor! How can math hurt your head?”

“Ah, see that’s work math. I don’t want you doing it, I want you coming to me and accepting my opinion as fact.”

“Here are a few napkins. Planning on spilling that Bourbon?”

“No. Can I borrow your pen?”

“OK, but if you walk out with this pen, I will hunt you down and hurt you.”

“What’s the big deal? It’s a crappy pen from a car dealership.”

“To bartenders, pens are like gold. If I don’t have a pen, time stops.”

“Oh, the check. Why not just buy a big box of cheap pens with the bar’s name on them?”

“The operative word there is ‘cheap’ – as in the owner. We supply our own pens.”

“What are you scribbling on that napkin?”

“I’m writing your poem. What rhymes with ‘business’ ?”

“Mess. As in the mess Connecticut is in because our legislators are bad at math.”

“I’m working that into the poem. I think you should pay for this bourbon.”

“I’ll pay for the bourbon if Mary gives me bonus points.”

“OK, boys, wings are up. Ten each, in case you’re wondering how to share. I’ll get you another beer, Dan.”

“Thanks Cheryl, but let’s switch to Corona.”

“Here, I think I’m done with your poem.”

“A Corona has found her lime. And since you’re done, I’ll take my pen.”

“I was going to make him a clean copy.”

“And get barbeque sauce all over my pen? Uh ah no.”

“Elected officials…blah, blah, mmhm, yeah, this is fine work, mighty fine.”

There’s a transcript in the gallery

True confessions – I edited. I edited a lot. So much editing.

Cheryl has been rocking her blog this week too. The gallery has a lot of Maddie. We had some terrible storms yesterday. Maddie was pretty scared.

70 thoughts on “How Much Will That Cost? – #SoCS

Add yours

  1. I have always liked math, but I am an accounting type math person not an algebra type person. 2+8+10, and if I spend 12, I am in debt for 2. Folks in DC doesn’t understand that match, but they don’t, never have, never will. Why? Because they are playing with someone else’s money, namely ours so it doesn’t matter to them how to adds up. I also don’t understand the theory behind younger folks not being able to do any small amount of math in their head – grab a cell phone, pull up an app, plug in the numbers all to figure out what the cost is if the item is 20% off. If I say much more, I might as well post my age. :-) We follow the northeast weather so I can certainly understand that this wasn’t one of Maddie’s favorite weeks. Our favorite pup, Ginger, a collie mix was afraid of fireworks. One year, we forgot to put her in her ‘house,’ went to bed, and the next morning the wooden trim around the door to the garage, which led to the yard, was shredded up as far as she could reach. What a mess. We never forgot that again. Hope both you and Maddie have a nice weekend. :-)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Judy. Yes, the concept of “we can’t spend what we don’t have” escapes a lot of people. Math in your head, it’s almost a super-power these days.

      It’s still very windy, but Maddie is begging for a walk. We survived heavy rain and strong wind. Fireworks are not a good thing. She hasn’t done any damage but I wouldn’t want to leave her alone. That must have been a mess.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. “What rhymes with ‘business’ ?” “Mess.”

    Beautifully said. I majored in English yet I have a firm grasp on math. You can’t spend what isn’t there… unless you live in some sort of political Bizarro World, I guess.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Poor Maddie. Obviously, being your shadow when the storms come makes her feel more secure. I had never heard of thunder shirts before until I started reading your blog.

    That’s a GREAT math poem and I give you 10,000 bonus points on top of whatever Mary gives you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Woo hoo! Thanks Joanne.

      Maddie actually went to the chair where her thundershirt was hanging, pulled it down and looked at my wife. My desk is pretty small, but she shoved in under it for a good long time


  4. I be under the desk with Maddie. I hate storms. I think I was a lightning rod in a former life. Great post. Dang good poem. The last time I dined Beef O’Brady / My change was returned slightly shady. / Now, I’m not a dunce / But I passed it this once. / She was flustered and I am a lady.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Terrific poem, Dan. (I’m glad you put it on the post. I couldn’t read the napkin.) I feel so sorry for Maddie when it storms. My little Coco used to do the same and there is almost no way to comfort them. Beautiful photos and thanks for the pingback. :-)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, John. I guess my buddy’s handwriting doens’t improve with Bourbon. I think it’s the wind and all the stuff that’s blowing around that scares her. She usually doesn’t mind rain, unless there’s thunder.


  6. Wow, Joanne is really generous with her bonus points. I was going to give you 100 if you paid for the bourbon…because like the owner of the bar, I’m cheap.

    Okay, so I’ll give you another 500 for the math poem. I’m headed out the door to partake in something that doesn’t require math because even on a Saturday morning, after two cups of coffee, it still hurts my head.

    Much love to Maddie. I hope she’s a lot happier today.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like to think that Joanne has set a new standard for bonus points. You two can work that out. The Bourbon is on me, but my buddy does drink from the top shelf, so I appreciate the extra 500.

      Have a good math-free weekend. Maddie has been for a short walk and is doing pretty well. The rain is over, but the wind remains. I think that bothers her the most.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s true that I hate math the way I had to learn it. And I hate math in my adult life. But teaching math to children is fun! Really.

        We had some water in the basement and high winds, but no damage or power outages. We’re close to NH. Not so lucky for those on the coast or southern MA. How about you?

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Thanks for the transcript. At one of my early jobs, there was a budget program that had a comment in it that read “Never ask of money spent/Where the spender thinks it went.” There was more, but you get the idea.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Poor Maddie! She looks so cute under that desk. Our dog Daisy used to panic during a storm. She would be panting and want to stay right next to me, but she did NOT want to be petted. Oh, math…we have a love-hate relationship. I figure it out in my head, but cannot put it on paper. Confounds my husband, who is just the opposite. Yay for Joanne and those bonus points!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Lois. Maddie made it through the night. We went for a walk this morning. I do math in my head and it freaks some of my coworkers out.

      Your right though, she wants to be close but not petted. You can rub her ears, though.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Aw, poor Maddie. We had such bad wind storms yesterday the Fed closed all the agencies (locally). Too bad for me, I already had my hours in for the pay period. They called it an urban forest, and those 100 year-old trees were coming down all over town… Nerve wracking for sure.

    I love this post Dan. (Even though you scared me with the “M” word.) Don’t worry about the cost of all those trainings, guns, and bullets — Mexico will pay for that too! ;)
    Happy weekend hugs.


    1. Ha ha – I forgot about those bad hombres and how they’e going to pay for all this stuff. I guess that’s another reason to keep drinking Corona.

      Too bad you didn’t benefit from the storm. What a mess that must be. We got off pretty lightly here. I was working from home, which is why Maddie had a desk to hide under.

      Thanks, Teagan. I hope you have a great weekend (go save Bob the hummingbird).


  10. Well done! 👏You have waxed poetic in perfect rhyme,
    And for Saturday’s prompt, just in time.
    Your meaning is clear, what fools there be,
    Making all the decisions for you and me.
    Maddie looks worried. I don’t blame her. I feel like crawling under a desk too. Great photos, as always. Thanks for the link as well.
    PS if anyone touches my G2 05 pen, my inner alarm goes off. If I leave her behind anywhere you can see me scrambling back for her like a mother who left her baby in the shopping cart! 😂🙊Happy Weekend, Dan.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the poetic response, Cheryl. I would imagine that anyone who deals with people and forms becomes very protective of their pens, especially their favorite pens.

      Maddie was VERY worried. But I don’t blame her. We had strong wind, all day with some 40-50 mph gusts. It sounded awful, the house was shaking and stuff was blowing around in the street.

      Thanks for being behind the bar :-)

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Great post Dan. If math and I had married, we would’ve divorced before the first year was up! I was brought up in a ‘cash and carry’ family. If you didn’t have the money in your wallet, then you were out of luck. We citizens have to pay our taxes on time. And then the government takes our hard-earned money and acts like there’s more where that came from.

    We didn’t get wind here as bad as predicted, but rain and snow to spare. Sunny today, but it’s a world of slush here. Ugh! Lost power for several hours, but up and running now.

    My heart breaks for Maddie. We used to have an English Setter, Tillie, who was inconsolable during a storm or firecrackers. Not exactly a lap dog, yet she would be in my lap, panting, drooling, eyes bulging, and heart racing. No matter what I tried, I could never make her feel safe. Those pictures of Maddie tug at your heart because they clearly depict how frightened she is.

    Love those shots with the beautiful reflections.

    Hope Maddie has a quiet, peaceful weekend ….as well as you and the Editor!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Ginger. At work, I have to prepare and perform toward an annual budget. If I go over that budget, I have to explain, and the explanation better be a good one. If not, it hurts me financially. I think it should be like that for politicians, especially ones who run on promises to “straighten out our fiscal house.”

      We just had wind and rain. Lot’s of rain, but either absorbed or evaporated from the wind that continues today.

      Maddie really was scared all day and all night. The Thundershirt helps a lot, but she really wants to be confined. She put herself in her crate a few times. She gets under that desk, and I swear I don’t know how she fits. It’s not very spacious. Don’t even mention fireworks. I think they should be banned, if for no other reason than the fear they cause dogs.

      Maddie and I have been for a walk. She’s having a much better day. I hope your slush melts away.


  12. Photos of Maddie girl, 💟 the reflection of the Colt dome and Great River Park soothed my head from all the math and political implications, Dan!! 🕊️ 🌈
    I think too often people hear false words of either party when they say “it” won’t raise taxes. You know darn well it will!
    My recent “not fine” subject: I’m not sure more guns in schools will help our world. I wish metal detectors and security guards were worth investing in. It certainly would be helpful and not escalate violence; like adding more guns would. . . . This comes from many disagreements at my workplace over schools adding guns to each classroom and /or each teacher having one. Where will they put them while students are in their rooms!??
    I know my rant is not what you were referring to when it comes to cost and “math,” Dan. ☮️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m with you on your rant, Robin. I didn’t want to make it the theme of this post, but I wanted to put it out there as one thing I don’t even hear people talking about. Our schools can’t afford supplies – how are they going to afford arming and training and insuring teachers?

      I don’t see how putting more guns in schools will help, and I see a thousand things that can go wrong. The biggest issue is that most of the teachers I know aren’t the kind of people who could kill someone. They are people who would die trying to defend their students, but I’m not sure they could shoot someone. People choose their careers based on the kind of person they are inside. In my opinion, there’s a big difference between the people who choose to go in to law enforcement and the people who choose to teach.

      Thanks for this comment.


      1. Yes, it is on my mind as a past teacher who sadly had an angry Dad be who caused our outside doors to the playground to be locked. One unfortunate county man, one who had scared our sweet secretary by asking which hall he needed to go down to find his speech delayed preschooler (!) caused this. We even had the police from a city school come in and teach us to cover our heads and crouch down under very short tables and this made all the kids nervous and crying. We could make our tornado watch fun since we were allowed to use the gym room which had mats to sit on and we could use books and flashlights to read and sing songs. Unfortunately, gym doors have glass panels and guns can be shot through them, according to experts who predict gyms are for sitting ducks. . . Thank you and I am fine if you want to delete or edit this sad commentary on our current Fears. I have tiny Hendrix to think about as he gets bigger, as well as six other sweet grandchildren, plus the rest of the world to worry about!!


  13. Congrats on the bonus points! I could do math in high school and college, but use it or lose it. Now, it give me a headache. But we pay those ELECTED officials big bucks to do math. It should be in their job description anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely, JoAnna. I also think they should be subject to the laws they enact. They cut our healthcare, but theirs is locked in for life. I think they should have to stand in line at DMV, TSA and the Urgent Care facility just like the rest of us. Maybe if they had to pay, they’d be more careful with our money.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. So much to comment on here. First of all, I love the poem, but I’m thankful you included the typed version. I couldn’t really read the napkin version enough to appreciate the full beauty of it. :-) I agree that politicians should have to share in at least some of the things we do, such as health care. The money is easy to spend because it isn’t theirs. And there are too many people who say “The government will pay for it”, as if that money didn’t come out of our pockets!! There’s a lot of money out there, but choices have to be made and not everything can or should be paid for by “the government.” If we spent money the way the government spends ours, we’d all be bankrupt, unless we had printing presses in our basement the way they do.

    OK. I’m stopping. I hope your weather’s better by now and Maddie’s feeling better, too. One of our foster dogs didn’t like fireworks, so the Fourth of July was terrible for her. She started out trying to hide under an end table and then ended in the half bathroom, trying to squeeze under the sink (no cabinets, just open.) It was sad.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Janet. Government spending is a source of much conflict. I would need to switch to Bourbon, like my buddy to cover much ground. I just wish they would do the math on things. They cut things that are fractions of a percent, and they add things that are double-digit increases. I don’t like paying taxes, but I worry about my daughter, and the people in her age-group that will inherit this mess. They will be bankrupt and still won’t have decent healthcare, or roads, or schools.

      None of our dogs have liked fireworks, and several have been scared by thunderstorms. I think the wind really bothered Maddie yesterday. It was howling all day and blowing things around.

      Liked by 2 people

  15. Oh poor Maddie! I have a few cats that are terrified of lightning and hard rain so my heart really goes out to you, Maddie! I know what it’s like to be afraid as some of my cats do. You’re not alone! Now for the math… In my humble opinion everything in life and I mean everything boils down to one way or another, math. We are doing math all day everyday without even knowing it. You snuck in there about the teachers and the guns, Dan. Now I really have to say something about that. That is one of the dumbest ass ideas I have ever heard! Teachers having guns? You have got to be kidding! Why don’t they who sell guns stop supplying the mass destruction weaponry. Now that would be a solution but will they? I highly doubt it! That’s all for now… This entire subject matter gets me riled. Hope you are having a great weekend and that Maddie recovers from her scare. 💕🌻🌹🌸💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Amy. We have much more quiet weather today so Maddie is doing better. Yesterday was hard for her.

      Sometimes I wonder if everybody is going the math. You recognize it but a lot of people don’t. Arming teachers? It’s a dumb idea but it would also be hugely expensive and our schools don’t have enough money now! All I know for sure is that the folks in DC aren’t going to solve anything.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree with you about the folks in DC. I almost forgot something to pass on to you for Maddie. Have you ever heard of Rescue Remedy? It’s called Bach Rescue Remedy and it really really works to calm anxiety in dogs and cats. I would highly highly recommend this to help Maddie through those terrible storms that she is so afraid of.

        Liked by 1 person

  16. Aw, Maddie <3 Bless.
    Math, despite my hatred for it, is necessary and dare I say it? Helpful. Certainly in all matters mentioned a la napkin.
    I like the cut of your jib here. Fun rhyming and stuff, too ;)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. Maddie is doing much better today. We had a short walk this morning. I am glad you liked this. Sometimes, it’s hard to avoid current events, even at the bar.

      Math is helpful. I just wish the people who are spending my money would pay more attention to it.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Such serious storms. Poor Maddie. Glad your power stayed on. I have math anxiety, Dan. Just last weekend I was helping my 7th grade grandson with an algebraic problem and I felt worried I couldn’t do it. Is there a cure at this stage of life. to overcome this anxiety?

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I love Maddie peeking out from under the desk…..glad you made out ok on the weather….doesn’t the math today make life so much easier? It doesn’t matter that spending xyz and only having xy to pay for it doesn’t add up….it’s all good because today’s math allows that equation to flow effortlessly….

    Liked by 1 person

Add your thoughts. Start or join the discussion. Sadly, links require moderation.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: