Jury Duty – #SoCS

Today’s bar banter has been inspired by the lovely and talented Linda G. Hill, as part of her popular Stream of Consciousness Saturday challenge:

“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is ‘so far.’ Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!”

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If we were having a beer, you would be angry with me.

“Oh, I see you decided to grace us with your presence.”

“What? I’m always here on Saturday.”

“Yes, and apparently you’re also here on other days.”

“Hey how are my favorite customers doing today?”

“I’m not sure, Cheryl. So far, I seem to be in some sort of trouble.”

“Awww, you want a comfort beer, Dan?”

“I do. Let’s go with a Naughty Nurse.”

“What about your buddy?”

“I haven’t decided.”

“Ooooooh-kaaaay.”

“So, what’s your beef with me about ‘other days?’ I didn’t know I needed your permission to come here.”

“Here? This wasn’t the only place you went on Monday without inviting me.”

“Monday? Dan, you know Monday is my day off. Here’s your beer.”

“Look guys, don’t get upset. I had jury duty on Monday. I got out early and I stopped here to celebrate.”

“Oh, OK. I’m good with that. Have you decided yet?”

“No, I haven’t, and you don’t know the whole story, Cheryl. He also had breakfast at Allegro on Monday.”

“Sounds like a high-calorie day, but I don’t care where you guys eat breakfast.”

“How do you know I had breakfast at Allegro?”

“I saw the picture of their door on your Thursday Doors post.”

“That could have been an old picture.”

“Was it?”

“No, I had breakfast with John.”

“You could have invited me.”

“Oh, for the love. You don’t like going into Hartford, and you’ve never been to Allegro.”

“All the more reason to offer. Besides, I like John.”

“Cheryl, bring Sad Sack a glass of Bourbon.”

“The good stuff?”

“I gue…”

“Of course, the good stuff, he owes me some consideration.”

“You were just looking for a way to get me to pay.”

“Did you buy John breakfast?”

“No, we split the check.”

“Do you guys eat the same thing?”

“No, but we’re not accountants, so we just split the check.”

“I’m not an accountant.”

“You’re just cheap.”

“I think the jury is still out on that. So why did you get off early?”

“The bad guy took a plea.”

“They couldn’t have offered him a plea last Friday?”

“They have more leverage when they can say ‘there’s a jury panel ready to go’ like on TV. “

“Yes, like Jack McCoy – ‘this offer is good for…’ it’s such a game.”

“OK, Bourbon, seltzer and a glass of ice. I’m glad you didn’t have to serve.”

“Me too, Cheryl, it’s no fun.”

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been.”

“Never? Cheryl how can that be?”

“I’ve never been called either?”

“Never? You guys should be buying me this beer. I’ve been called like five times.”

“I thought you were exempt after serving.”

“If you aren’t needed, you’re exempt for one year. If you serve, you’re exempt for three years.”

“OK, I’m going to stop asking about it. I don’t want to jinx myself. Let me know if you boys want some food.”

“Well, I have another question, what if you go in like you did but don’t have to serve?”

“It still counts as service.”

“That doesn’t seem fair to the people who sit on a trial.”

“Said the man whose never been. For your information, I’ve been on two trials.”

“Civil or criminal?”

“One of each.”

“What was the civil case about?”

“Slip and fall. A woman fell at a rest area. She was suing the State of Connecticut.”

“Like they have any money. Maybe that’s why they closed the rest areas.”

“This was back when they were open twenty-four-seven.”

“What about the criminal case?”

“A guy ‘allegedly’ stole something from a department store.”

“Department store? Do we still have those?”

“This one was out of business at the time of the trial.”

“Was the guy guilty?”

“It’s funny you ask that.”

“Why?”

“During the voir dire process, his lawyer asked me if I thought the guy was guilty.”

“What did you say?”

“I said I didn’t know. But then he said: ‘look at him, he’s guilty of something, right?’ “

“That’s funny. What did you say?”

“I laughed. The guy was pretty big and he looks tough. I said I would try to keep an open mind.”

“I guess that’s the best they can hope for.”

“So, was he guilty?”

“We never got to decide.”

“Why not? Did he take a plea?”

“No, the only evidence the State had was a cop who said he had seen this guy driving away. He said he read the license plate, but he was over 300 feet away.”

“Officer Clark Kent?”

“Really. The judge threw the case out.”

“That’s better than wasting your time.”

“Exactly.”

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The gallery includes some pictures from our most recent Nor’easter and a few of the resident red head. Cheryl’s Thursday Doors post was pretty cute, you might want to check it out.