Self-Inflicted Wounds

If we were having a beer, you would be bringing some local news to the bar.

“Have you ever been to Old Newgate Prison?”

“Not exactly.”

“It’s a binary question – you either have or you haven’t.”

“We set out once to hike to the prison, but we never made it. It’s a long story.”

“Save it for another day, I have good news…”

“I like customers who tell long stories over a few beers – as long as they have a ride home – you boys talking about how you met in prison?”

“We didn’t meet in prison, Cheryl!”

“Well, sometimes it sounds like you go back farther than this bar. You want a beer, Dan?”

“I do.”

“How about the bearer of good tidings, can I get you a glass of wine?”

“Bourbon today, Cheryl. I feel like celebrating.”

“I’ll be right back with the drinks.”

“What is the good news, and how does it involve the prison.”

“They’re going to open it again.”

“For prisoners?”

“No, silly. As a tourist attraction. You can’t put prisoners in a copper mine any longer.”

“Well, I know the budget is tight, you never know what those clowns in Hartford might do to save some money.”

“One Naughty Nurse, and one glass of Willet. Ice and water coming up.”

“You’re the best, Cheryl.”

“You guys make it easy.”

“So, when does it open?”

“July 14^th. I guess it depends on the budget.”

“The budget, don’t make me laugh.”

“Oh, don’t start. You’re just going to make yourself angry.”

“Make myself angry? The fiscal year started on July first. They didn’t pass a budget until the end of October – and we’re coming up two hundred million short! I hope they have money to run the prison.”

“They are putting an emphasis on tourism, so I’m betting it will open.”

“An emphasis on tourism?

“That’s what I hear.”

“Are they going to re-open the highway rest areas?”

“I thought they only close them overnight.”

“They’re only open from eight-thirty am until three-thirty pm.”

“Wow, that isn’t very friendly.”

“They might as well replace the signs with ones that say: ‘Welcome to Connecticut – Please pee in Rhode Island’ after paying a toll, of course.”

“They haven’t passed the toll bill yet.”

“They will, and they won’t be smart about it either.”

“Wow, Dan, that beer goes down fast when you get in a lather. You want another?”

“I do Cheryl.”

“Any food?”

“Bring him some wings. Maybe that will slow him down.”

“You still sipping that Bourbon?”

“Yes, I’m good for now, but you can bring me some wine when the wings are up.”

“Did you guys check the Specials? You might not want wings today.”

“Oh, for the love of bacon. Look at this.”

“Tunxis Trio – Chicken strips, beer-battered onion rings and potato skins with cheddar, bacon and broccoli – with Ranch and Sour Cream – Sign me up for this Cheryl.”

“Me too, but can I…”

“Add some Parmesan Peppercorn dressing? Of course, you can, Dan.”

“OK, now that that’s done, and at the risk of hearing more than I want to know, what did you mean about being smart about tolls?”

“The technology exists whereby they could spare short haul commuters the cost, but snag the people traveling through CT on their way to New York, Mass and Rhode Island.”

“How would that work?”

“You live in Windsor, right? If you jump on ninety-one and drive to Hartford, they could slide you through without smacking your account.”

“That would be cool.”

“They won’t do it. They’ll charge you and people will take the backroads.”

“Well, there’s no back road over the river.”

“Yeah, so the poor slob living in Hartford who works in East Hartford will lose five bucks a day.”

“For an optimist, you really seem all doom and gloom about this.”

“He’s right, Dan. Then again, I drive six miles to work, but I come over the Bissel Bridge to get here for my shift.”

“Cha-ching!”

“I’m gonna need bigger tips.”

“Message received, Cheryl.”

“Good, I’ll go check on those Trios.”

“You know what really gets me?”

“Again, at the risk of making myself sorry, what’s that, Dan?”

“The fireworks.”

“Huh?”

“When they finally passed the budget in October, they set off fireworks in Bushnell Park.”

“That is a bit much. I don’t imagine your boss would celebrate your finishing a critical project, three months late.”

“No, although the word ‘fire’ might figure prominently in his reaction.”

“Who said, we get the government we deserve?”

“Joseph de Maistre and he would certainly be laughing at us.”

“Naughty Nurse, number two, a glass of Meiomi and those trios will be right up.”

“Thanks Cheryl.”

“You’re welcome. I hope your old prison opens in time for the reunion.”

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I visited Old Newgate Prison and spoke to the very nice young woman who is the Site Manager. She assures me they will open in July. I hope you have time to visit Cheryl’s site.