R.I.P – I Can Hear You Now

Once again, I’m trying to adapt a story from the bar to accommodate Linda G. Hill’s twisted sense of humor and adventure. Her Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt for today is:

“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “letter.” Use it in your post or theme your post on any meaning of the word ‘letter.’ Enjoy!”

Yes, by all means, let’s have fun.


If we were having a beer, you’d be pleased to see me already at the bar.

“Well Dan, I’m glad to see you’re on time today.”

“Unfortunately, it means I get to give you the bad news.”

“What?”

Cheryl’s on vacation.”

“Oh geeze, I forgot she was going to Florida. Who do we have? It’s not Skippy is it?”

“No, it’s La.”

“La? As in La-la-la or Lacy, Laura, Ladonna?”

“Ladonna? Where’d you come up with that?”

“Just guessing. Who knows from names today?”

”Well, I asked, and she said her first and middle names are just the letters L and A, but that most people call her La.”

“Here’s your beer. You ordered Corona, right? For Cinco de Mayo.”

“I did, La, but I was hoping for a frosted glass and a lime.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll get those. Can I get you something?”

“Since my young friend appears to be buying and since it’s a nice spring day, I’ll have a vodka tonic.”

“Kettle, Grey Goose or from the well?”

“Grey Goose.”

“You got it.”

“She seems nice.”

“She does. Wait a minute, something’s wrong here.”

“She forgot your glass, she’s coming back with it.”

“No, it’s you. Why are you sitting on that side?”

“What difference does it make?”

“You always sit on my left. You said you have a hearing problem.”

“I had a hearing problem. I got a hearing aid this week, and I can hear you fine from either side, now.”

“That’s cool, but I don’t see any hearing aid.”

“It’s practically invisible.”

“Ok, here’s your frosted glass, and your vodka tonic. Will there be anything else?”

“Lime…”

“Oh, I forgot.”

“What’s this?”

“I assume it’s your vodka tonic.”

“Here you go, a nice wedge of lime.”

“Excuse me, La is it?”

“That’s me. What can I get you?”

“I’m so used to Cheryl that I forgot to ask. Could you put this in a snifter, please.”

“Oh, you’re those guys! Cheryl told me how two nice guys would show up and how one likes his drinks in a snifter. No problem.”

“Don’t go there, she’s new, she’s nice and she got my lime on the third try.”

“I guess ‘no problem’ works in this context. I’ll let it slide.”

“Here you go.”

“Um, La, if I may…”

“Yes?”

“Could you put a little more ice in this and a little more tonic?”

“Sure, no problem.”

“Easy, it’s just a thing people say.”

“Here you go, I’ll get it right next time.”

“Thanks, this is perfect.”

“So, your hearing aid, when do you get it all tuned-up?”

“What do you mean?”

“Last year, when I had my hearing problem, the audiologist told me she does a lot of hearing tests for people when they’re tuning their hearing aids.”

“That’s the beauty of this little bugger, I can do all that with my phone.”

“Seriously, that sounds cool, but you never seemed to be all that interested in using apps on your phone.”

“I’m not, generally, but it was this or sitting in a waiting room during multiple visits.”

“How does it work.”

“You start this app. Hang on – it has to connect to the hearing aid… that takes a bit – there we go. Then you can change any of these settings.”

“How many are there?”

“About thirty.”

“Yikes. And you have it set up already?”

“You’ll like this! Do you remember me telling you about my real estate agent, Paul?”

“Yeah, you sounded like you didn’t like him much.”

“I didn’t, he was a pain, but he really helped me out with this.”

“How’s that?”

“He died!”

“How nice of him. How on earth did that help?”

“I went to his wake. It was crowded and very noisy. While I was waiting in line, I played with this thing to tune out the background noise and pick up just the conversation I was having with the guy in front of me.”

“You did this – while you were in line – to see – the body?”

“Yeah. By the time I got around to his wife, I could hear her perfectly. Best thing Paul ever did for me!”

“Would either of you like another round?”

“La. I am going to need another Corona…for sure.”

“I’ll take another one of these.”

“No problem.”

“Look, she seems nice, she’s trying, I think you should give it up.”

“I know, it’s just…”

“Here’s your tonic – snifter, extra ice, extra tonic.”

“Thanks.”

“And your Corona, frosted glass, wedge of lime.”

“Thanks La – here’s to Paul, may he rest in peace.”

“To Paul.”

“Aw, did you guys lose a loved one?”

“Something like that.”

“Then this round is on the house.”

“That’s the second-best thing Paul ever did for me.”


I had a bunch of photos from the River Walk (both walking and by barge) so I decided to share them today, since a lot of people liked the doors on Thursday.

If the bit about hearing from either side reminded you of Mary Chapin Carpenter’s song “I Take My Chances” the video is below the gallery.

60 thoughts on “R.I.P – I Can Hear You Now

Add yours

  1. Your hearing aid is controlled via your smartphone? Oy vey. Well, I guess if that’s what one does, one does it. Still, not a big fan of cell phones… hoping to use mine less and less as I gracefully age. Oh well, happy weekend. Enjoy.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think it’s brilliant to have the controls for your hearing aid as an app on your phone. So many people give up on their hearing aids and I think this gives them control to make chances as they are needed.
    So – how do you find it?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s not mine, in this story, my buddy is real. He loved it. He’s needed one for years, but resisted. Now he can hear well. Sometimes, technology really does work.

      Like

  3. “That’s the second-best thing Paul ever did for me.” Made me laugh out loud!! You nailed this one Dan. Hope Cheryl returns soon because LA may find she has a problem with her “no problem”!! Lol.

    Photos of River Walk are amazing. That first waterfall…..I would never leave it. The 2-D building, the mosaic, all the stonework and that beautiful staircase…..what a magical place!!

    Glad The Editor and Maddie are beating the heat and relaxing outside early. Have a wonderful weekend.
    🔹Ginger🔹

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Ginger. This was fun. John Howell said he used to work next to the River Walk and he would walk at lunch. I would have been fired – I’d never go back in.

      Like

  4. “I went to his wake. It was crowded and very noisy. While I was waiting in line, I played with this thing to tune out the background noise and pick up just the conversation I was having with the guy in front of me.”

    Can you use the app to selectively tune out certain people?

    Or certain topics of conversation?

    You see where this is headed….

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I don’t think it’s that sophisticated, yet. They could link the camera on the phone to the control app and maybe a voice processor, and…yeah, maybe in the next generation.

      Like

  5. So many comments to make, so here’s a list.
    1. A woman named LaDonna worked in one of our offices, so that name is not unusual to me.
    2. Miss La. She could have been an extra in the movie La La Land. How appropriate and ironic would that have been?
    3. Miss La made good attempts to keep you two happy and she was friendly herself. I hope you gave her a fairly good tip for “effort” because the alternative is Mr. Skippy.
    4. Hearing aids and apps are a marvel these days. The ex had a hearing aid that auto corrected itself when in a noisy room, but it took 10-15 minutes.
    5. Your friend is like many others who resist getting a hearing aid, probably because they think it’s a sign of getting old or they don’t want something plugged into their ear. But what a difference it makes once they get it…for themselves and the person who has to sit next to them at the bar.
    6. The photos of the River Walk are so pretty! It’s a lovely place to hang out and watch people go by while sipping on a 10 a.m. margarita. Don’t you think?
    7. Happy weekend, Dan!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Mary. My buddy really is enjoying hearing again. La did get a nice tip and we always include the cost of the free beers in the base for the tip.

      10:00 margaritas do sound good on a warm weekend day.

      LaDonna is a thing, huh? That’ll teach me to try and be funny.

      I hope you’re having a wonderful weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Good morning, Dan! Wait..excuse me..while..I..knock the…sand…off my….feet….there. Oh, and let me freshen up my Mimosa. Ummm….yes, it is definitely ten o’clock somewhere and this IS a breakfast beverage. So, I would’ve had that barge driver hit the beer/margarita window for sure. Lol These images really make me feel good since we spent many weekends in SA for business and pleasure trips with the kiddos. I worked with an optimetrist once who was a nut and he loved to stand on that bridge and wave at the barges, shouting, “Bob! Hey Bob!” He said there was always a Bob on board. There usually was a slow but happy arm to go up and wave while a confused look slipped across Bob’s face as they passed below us. LMAO. I miss that guy. Oh! And there used to be a penny smashing machine under one of the bridges where, for a buck, it would flatten your penny rendering it worthless. (We prefer the more exciting way of placing it on the rail before an oncoming train…)But let’s say we have spent a fiver to make small (and large) boys happy for a few moments. PS. I need more info on that hearing aid. I think I know someone who could benefit from such a device. Have a great weekend! Looks like the bar is under control. La,la,la,la,la,la…..😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for reaching out to us from vacation. No danger of losing your gig here. La is friendly, but a little slow on the uptake.

      I love the “Bob” thing. That’s so funny. I’ll see if I can get some actual info on that hearing aid.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Wow! You’ve managed to make having a hearing aid sound cool! I keep thinking about getting one for my one damaged ear but the price and iffy effectiveness have stopped me so far. Maybe I’ll check out these new gizmos. Thank you for more pictures of the River Walk… it’s such a beautiful place.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. Some stories almost write themselves. The control app looked amazing. It seemed able to adjust around the hearing problem I still have with one ear. (I’m not the one wearing the hearing aid but I did have damage last year).

      The River Walk is beautiful.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. My first and middle initial are L and A, but my friends always call me Lo…..cause Lois. Obviously too many syllables. **eye roll** My husband thought he needed a hearing aid but was tested and, no, he’s good. He can’t hear high decibel sounds..or something like that. He still cannot hear me. I think he’s faking it. ‘No problem’….you might want to ask whatever happened to Skippy. This was such a fun post, Dan. Have a great weekend. I said HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND. haha!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha – you should look at Greg (almost Iowa)’s comment about tuning out people and subjects. Skippy isn’t gone for good, but we don’t want to see him too often.

      Thanks Lo. Lois is an awful lot to say 😏

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I thought of Joni Mitchell’s “Both Sides Now.” “I hear you talk from both sides now / I’m never late but still somehow / You always claim I’m not on time / I want Corona with my lime.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hahaha! Good for Paul, bringing people happiness from the beyond!
    Oh how I wish my husband would get his right ear flushed. Lawd. I want him to go in once a year and he only does it every 3-4. Anyway, when he does it again, drinks are on me!
    We have a canal walk here, but it’s very… um.. new and shiny. It’s not rustic and warm and inviting like San Antonio’s or Savannah’s or many other places. Love the tunnels and the duck shot :)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks! I’m glad you liked the duck.

      I learned by accident, how important good hearing is.

      Walking along water is a wonderful thing. I’m glad your city realizes that. Maybe it will get better over time, but it’s a good thing to have.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. My dad’s got hearing aids connected through the bluetooth on his phone and it’s a game changer for him. Gotta love when technology comes through with the win.

    Like

  12. Never heard before of a hearing aid controlled by a smartphone, but I think that’s good. The title instantly attracted me to it, because you know of Sarah’s situation lately.

    Liked by 1 person

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