A Bunch of One-Liner Mondays

Blossoms, convertibles and Bart’s is open until 8:00 pm for dogs, burgers and fries.

I know, One-Liners are supposed to be on Wednesday, but, I think you will appreciate this diversion from the normal path. Two weeks ago, I attended a business meeting in St. Augustine, Florida. One of the things I like about this meeting, is that we can freely talk about things going on in our business, things that have happened, things we hope will happen and things we fear might happen. We can freely talk, because what we share, doesn’t leave the room. There were a bunch of one-liners that I jotted down, which, if offered out of context are rendered merely interesting. So, that means there isn’t much of a backstory.

I could have trickled these in over a series of Wednesdays, but I’d be tempted to repeat the above introduction and probably a bit more. So, you see, piling them up in one post is really easier on you, and the Editor (who has to proofread this on Mother’s Day).

“The elves aren’t going to put it together while you sleep” – This sounds like something my father would have said, or at least something he would have liked. The general sentiment to be extracted from the context of this remark is “get to work!

“Pathological problem solvers” – I was sitting at the table of men described by this comment, and the opinion is generally true. I could generalize and apply this to most men, and I could further suggest that it has caused more head-shaking-loud-sighing moments among women than any other attribute of the men they love. Someday, I will learn that – some times – women just want to say something – they aren’t looking for a solution (even though I’m sure I could suggest one).

“She could scare paint off the wall!” – One of our speakers mentioned a former coworker with this phrase. Not much else needs to be said.

“The pace of acquiring knowledge is increasing” – This is a truism in our world that businesses, and schools of all nature and size are struggling to deal with.

“You can’t get the answer to a question until you ask it” – This is one of those obvious statements that often eludes us. I think it’s a variation of the less direct “there are no stupid questions” which is meant to encourage us to ask the question we might be considering. Whenever I heard that statement, I always thought “maybe this is the question that will prove that statement wrong.”

That’s it for today – easy Monday.

Today’s gallery includes some of the true signs of spring that I found when I returned from the lands of constant green (Florida) and the land that spring sometimes forgets (Iowa).


  1. Pathological problem-solver describes Gilles perfectly … even when I just want him to listen. He can’t. I think this is one of those men-women divides.

    They’re all great one-liners although I admit the one about elves tends to annoys me. Maybe it’s because the person saying it always seems to be using a pejorative tone.

    I can hardly wait until the lilacs strut their stuff here. My favourite flower 💕

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thanks Joanne. It’s funny, the ‘elves’ comment was delivered in that tone, but it was appropriate at the time.

      I always like when the lilacs bloom and I can see them next to the dogwood. Our neighbor’s crabapple trees used to bloom at the same time, but they are failing.

      Problem solving is our go-to strength. I’m trying to learn to just listen.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I want to meet that woman – “She could scare paint off the wall!” Oh wait, I think I have several times during my business career. :-) Your lilacs are lovely while ours barely have buds so far. The red of the quince is also beautiful. Maddie must have had a great Sunday with all her favorite people gathered together. I hope the Editor had a wonderful Mother’s Day.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Judy. Maddie basically went to bed right after Faith left – she was so tired from being part of the action. She normally naps during the day, but when Faith is around, she stays near her and focused. We had a very nice day, I hope you did too.

      I have a couple of people I could apply that comment to. I think after 40 years in business, I’ve met all kinds.

      Everything is getting green around here. The garden has been tilled, plants have arrived and more will be acquired this week. Now the long wait for that first tomato begins.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I’m tempted to use the photo of happy, sitting Maddie as my wallpaper (because it makes me smile), but I have two cats that might be jealous.

    Your last one-liner is my favorite. I’m all about asking questions, probably because I want to do it right, get it right the first time…or I simply want to know something – why is the sky blue? What is the meaning of life? I never saw the sense in holding back on that front when the answers usually fill my head with knowledge.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Asking questions is a great trait to have, Mary. I have to remind myself that questions are usually welcome, and I do learn a lot from the answers.

      I’m not sure Gibbs and Ziva would appreciate Maddie lounging in the sun or the cool shade to be a good wallpaper. I know MiMi and MuMu have had quite enough of Maddie.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hahaha!!! “She could scare paint off the wall!” Love it. Describes my M-in-L to a ‘t’.

    Spring is showing off all her beauty around you. Here too. Those lilacs may be fading, but they’re still gorgeous. My quince are blooming as well, but yours are a much richer color. Mine are salmon colored.

    Love the way Maddie just slowly worked you off the couch! She does look happy when she’s outside.

    Glad you all had a wonderful Sunday together. Hope today is the start of a great week for you.
    🔹 Ginger 🔹

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Ginger. We had a very nice day. Maddie had Faith to visit with and she had some premium cot-time. She was so tired by the time Faith left, that she slept most of the night. At first, she was OK sharing the couch. Then it was “I need more space”until I was gone.


  5. There is one that I read and it made me laugh. Some kids mocking a bully who used to hurt them in high school.
    “You couldn’t catch a cold if you tried.” To mean he was too slow.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Fortunately I’m married to a man who understands that sometimes the conversation is just about venting, no solution needed. That might be part of lawyering, now that I think about it.

    “She could scare paint off the wall!” If only I could. What wonderful skill that’d be.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. PS…between my wife and raising three daughters….my listening skills without offering a solution has improved outwardly tremendously…..inwardly…not one bit…can’t help it…we are wired to solve problems. Have a great week!

    Liked by 1 person

      • Exactly!!! So I learned to shut the mouth…I could write a book of the communication aspects I learned over the years being the only guy in an all female house…especially when the girls were teenagers….it did make me a better father and a better leader for the group I managed at work.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I used to work with a group of programmers who loved to mangle one liners. For example: Don’t count your chickens before they come home to roast.
    and We’ll just have to burn that bridge when we come to it.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Yep, Men are natural fixers. I learned that about half way through my marriage…to date since my marriage to a fixer is still evolving. :) Once I figured that out when I just need to vent and my BFF isn’t around for a walk and lunch I will vent on He-Man but, not without first saying, ” I don’t want or need you to fix this I just need to vent, and get this out, by talking out loud with a person.”
    He’s pretty good about biting his tongue if I preference it this way. If I forget… he’s putting on that Mr. Fix It cap and I groan and slam my head on my desk for not letting him know I just needed to get it out! I don’t need a fix or a possible solution. I just need to get out. Out loud! :)

    There are no stupid questions; Yes, there are. I’m the talented Stupid Idiot that has asked one, or two..okay more that than that, but you know…they eye roll before answering the question gives it away. Yeah, it was a stupid question. Who knew everyone else knew the answer but me? I don’t always the question I’m thinking anymore. :)

    The flowers, and trees in bloom are gorgeous! Your Editor is amazing doing the edit on Mother’s Day.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think, a lot of times, when you get the eye-roll, there were others in the group that didn’t know the answer either. One of my favorite mentors at work used to say: “here’s a stupid question” but he was often asking a question that others, including me, were hesitant to ask.

      I always thought being able to fix anything would be a huge benefit to bring to a relationship – oh well, listening is good, too, I guess. I try, but…

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Great collection. You’re fortunate to be able to speak freely at these conferences. It must generate a lot of good dialog. LOVE “You can’t get the answer to a question until you ask it” — I ask a lot of questions. Some people think too many questions, but meh.
    Maddie! Aw, the face on that face! :D
    I’m trying to smell those lilacs. I can almost smell ours. Jim’s (We’ve established they’ll always be Jim’s) are big and plentiful enough to scent the whole block for a few weeks. I cut some of ours off the back and put them in the house. Mmm.
    I trimmed our STUPID spruce shrubs last week and had sap residue all over my hands for some time. Now and again, I don’t wear gloves, because I don’t care if I get dirty. But maybe sappy is a good reminder!
    I love that my husband is a fixer. I have to tell him sometimes I’m not lookin for a solution, and I swear it breaks his heart, but mostly I love that he offers me the fixes. Now and again I get amused that he hears something I’m saying as a problem when I don’t. He’ll be all, “What you need to do is…” and with thought, I realize, he’s right, it’s a problem. Two heads are better than one!

    Liked by 1 person

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