Maddie’s Happy Day – #1LinerWeds

Family, Friends, One Line Wed 81 comments

Maddie’s day was difficult but ended very well. My day, not so much.

I will spare you as many of the gross details as I can. Late Monday afternoon, I was helping my wife put some fencing around her garden. I was cutting a plastic ring off a fence post when the utility knife slipped of the plastic and passed through the end of my finger. For long-time readers, yes, it was that finger – of course it was that finger! The finger with all the accidents, and the finger of whipped blood fame.

It was a very deep cut. Lots of blood – in the sink – a reminiscent of the Psycho Shower Scene amount of blood. OK, I’m just trying to justify the fact that I passed out after looking at the blood swirling in the sink. Fortunately, my wife was able to guide me safely to the floor. Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to get me back up, since I wasn’t in a state where I was able to cooperate. Unwilling to stage a repeat of last year’s incident in the bathroom, she just called 911 before there was any more blood.

When you call 911, they ask you to make sure your pets are contained. Maddie was already in her crate, as we had been outside. She wasn’t happy, but she was contained. Then the EMTs arrived and a police officer – the same one who arrived last year – “oh, I remember you.” To which my wife responded: “same bathroom, same floor” – Maddie was in a lather.

After helping me up, and adding to the bandage my wife put on, the EMTs suggested a newly opened Urgent Care center near our house. Off we went.

Meanwhile, Maddie was frantic. It was also time for her to have her medication, but there was no way to deal with her in the state she was in. While I was being stitched back together, Faith drove over to take care of Maddie. Maddie had her meds, sat with Faith, played with Faith and enjoyed the afternoon to the max. We agreed that Maddie’s expression in the pictures Faith took, probably meant that Maddie was saying:

“Oh boy, is this great!”

This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s fun weekly series One-Liner Wednesday. If you have a one-liner, I’d encourage you to join in on the fun. You can follow this link to participate and to see the one-liners from the other participants. Be sure to use the brand-spanking new badge designed by Cheryl over at Dreaming Reality.

Faith and I agree that Maddie would say that phrase the way Flounder did in Animal House. The 4-second video is below today’s gallery.

Faith is gone. Maddie is sad.
“Goodbye Maddie”
“This doesn’t smell right. What happened?”
“You don’t have to go, do you?”
“Come on Maddie, get up in the chair.”
“Faith came to see me. This day has been perfect!”
“Faith is here. I know you guys had to go, but Faith came over to sit with me.”
Maddie tried to convince Faith that the chair was there for her to sit in.”
“OK, you can have the chair. I just glad you’re here.”
Faith left over an hour ago. Maddie is exhausted.
“I think it’s time to go to bed, Maddie.”
Maddie is tired. Between barking at the policeman and EMTs and Faith’s visit, this was a long day.
Note: The chalkboard font used in the sign was used courtesy of Anke Arnold at www.anke-art.de

81 comments

  1. Poor Maddie. Glad to see she adjusted to your temporary absence. She does look like she’s smiling. Oh God, Dan. That was awful. Someone I know said, “I’ll bet he was cutting zip ties. 😏i’m glad you are all stitched up and back on your feet. I ran a motorcycle into a tree once, smashing my left hand. I did okay until I looked down and saw my fingernail wiggling. 🙄

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    1. Thanks Cheryl. I’m doing well, typing a little slower than usual, but otherwise OK. I was fine until I saw the blood in the sink. Fingernail wiggling, yeah, that can’t be good.

      Maddie adjusted very well.

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  2. Well, now, that was a fine mess you got yourself into. :-) My husband is a big utility knife guy, but I’ll take a dull pair of scissors because I know I can’t cut something off with them. Glad you got stitched up, and even happier that Maddie had one of her three special people come to visit and hold her paw while you were getting stitched up. Stay safe. :-)

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    1. Thanks Judy. I normally would use diagonal cutting pliers for Zip-ties, but I didn’t take them out with me. I also usually make sure that no part of me is where the knife might go if it slips. At least Maddie had a good evening.

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  3. I really want to make cooing noises of sympathy for your poor finger and show the appropriate amount of concern where blood loss has occurred …. but good grief, Dan, it’s 6 am and you had me laughing out loud.

    It started with “ok, I’m just trying to justify the fact that I passed out after looking at the blood” and reached a crescendo at ““oh, I remember you.” To which my wife responded: “same bathroom, same floor””
    You have managed to make a dramatic day into a very funny story …. ok – maybe just to my twisted sense of humour. 😆

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    1. Thanks Joanne – we have to be able to laugh. We had different EMTs this time, but it was the same cop. He must really wonder about me by now. The finger is fine, I’ll get the stitches out on Tuesday, and Maddie had a wonderful visit with her favorite person.

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      1. I agree, Dan. Life is a lot easier when we can see the humour in an otherwise tense situation. I imagine that somewhere in the bowels of the 911 database is a little flag against your home’s address that says ‘plays with sharp objects’ 😉

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  4. “same bathroom, same floor” You get injured and STILL have us laughing! You have to quit looking at the blood, big fella!! Glad it all turned out okay in the end.
    (and i don’t blame Maddie for being upset that she was in a crate!!)

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    1. Thanks! The EMTs asked if it might be better if we let Maddie out, but we didn’t know how she might react. I was making sure I didn’t look at my finger – but the sink – oh my goodness, it was over so fast after that.

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  6. I’m with Joanne. Your post made me laugh! Poor bloody finger, but I bet the EMT’s also had a good laugh back at the station…you’ve probably been tagged as “the bathroom floor guy.”

    Maddie’s happy face made me smile, just like today’s sunshine. I’m glad Faith was able to come over and calm her down and give her some love.

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    1. Thanks Mary. Like I said to Joanne, you have to be able to laugh. I’m sure the cop was telling the EMTs “oh yeah, I’ve been here before. The big guys is probably on the floor in the bathroom…”

      Maddie was in her glory. “I got to sit with Faith” “Faith came to see me” “Hmmm, what’s up with your finger?”

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  8. The smile on Maddie’s face is so wonderful. Dan–darn! ‘Blood swirling in the sink’ was almost enough to make me pass out. So, just curious…. you are finished working on the fence?

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    1. Ha ha – no. The fence is still in a few pieces on the ground and a few rolls and poles in the garage. It rained yesterday. My wife might try to do it without me today. Thanks Lois.

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  9. Pingback: Paper Pushing Conundrum – Quaint Revival

  10. Ok, I shouldn’t be laughing that you almost cut your finger off and thought you were bleeding to death, but I am. Absolutely laughing out loud. I am gonna burn in hell now! 😃

    The cop and The Editor could go on SNL with their routine!

    Thank goodness Faith was able to come over and calm Maddie down and stay with her. Maddie was not only dealing with her own issues, but she must’ve been frantic knowing something was wrong and then both her people were gone….with those strangers!

    But apparently Maddie and Faith were rehashing the earlier events because clearly Maddie is enjoying a good belly laugh…like the rest of us….at your expense.

    Glad to hear your finger will be fine.

    May I suggest you keep a pair of diagonal-cutting pliers for zip-ties in your pocket at all times!!
    🔹 Ginger 🔹

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    1. No need to worry about burning, Ginger. I’d forgive you for laughing, if I hadn’t hoped that you would. I had a different one-liner written, but I had to find a way to share those Maddie smiles. We felt so bad for her until Faith texted us those smiles.

      My finger is still attached and it is getting better. I’m worried that it might be getting ready to ask for a divorce, but…

      By the way, I always, always always always use diagonal-cutting pliers on zip-ties and I never ever ever use a utility knife to cut them – never! Except…

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    1. I have some standing orders regarding what I can and cannot do when I’m alone. I’m pretty sure I could handle other people’s blood, but I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen any. I’m not always bad with mine, but when it’s bad, I kinda lose it.

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  13. Dan, I think you’d better just have that finger off and forget about it. Get an artificial one. Either that, or get it some titanium shielding. Thank goodness for a level-headed editor. My question is, why were you putting some fencing around her?

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    1. Thanks Marian – the Editor has suggested just lopping this guy off. It might not mind, I’m sure it’s getting tired of getting smacked around. Thanks for catching the typo – her “garden” not her. I’m going to edit that but your contribution is noted.

      The level-headed editor is good to have in my corner.

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  16. “oh, I remember you.” To which my wife responded: “same bathroom, same floor”

    The incident report most likely read, “Same as last year.”

    Not sure how one explains these things to a dog.

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    1. I can only imagine what they say once the ambulance is back in the barn. On site, they were wonderful. My wife apologized for calling them for a trivial thing, but they assured her they don’t mind and, in fact, that’s what they’re there for.

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  18. Dan – if it is any consolation I still make sure I look the other way when they put the needle in for my platelet donations. Not so much from the sight of blood more that I don’t want to flinch at the last moment and screw up the targeting. And fortunately they already have us lying down so there are no dramatic gravity interventions. I hope you are healed and well enough to engage in Saturday philosophical discussions and saucey slippery wings.

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  20. Hi Dan – sounds like the finger will be ok … my SIL suffers from your phobia to that red stuff – so what did we do for my Mum’s 80th … took us all off to Agincourt – the museum reincarnates all gore! Not a good idea – we’d also had a good night the evening before! But glad Maddie recovered her wits and enjoyed her afternoon … take care and protect said finger – cheers Hilary

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    1. Thanks Hilary. It’s not so much the sight of blood, I can usually deal with that, but I guess it’s the combination of the sight and the wound that get to me.

      Maddie recovered quite nicely – she might like me to do it again, if she gets Faith-care.

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  21. OMG! Hope the injury wasn’t as bad as what you portrayed in your post but Maddie’s look at your finger says it all. It was a great post even if you might have been challenged writing it using 9 fingers and it came to mind that dogs sometimes resemble their owners, in this case she looks like Faith – this is a compliment not an insult).
    Hope your recovery is going well and maybe it’s time to get those steel tip finger gloves. ;)

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    1. Thanks. Six stitches and a couple of bandaids now. Typing is a problem, but we have a long weekend coming up.

      I have safety gloves, and I never use utility knives for these tasks, but…I screwed-up. Maddie would be please to know she looked like Faith – she is always happy when Faith is around.

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  23. Horsefeathers, Dan! I think that finger has it in for you… Or it has a self-destructive attraction to sharp objects. “oh, I remember you,” is not something one wants to hear from the first responders. Good that Faith could go to Maddie. I know that helped you as much as Maddie. Hugs.

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    1. Thanks Teagan. It really did make us feel better knowing that Faith was with Maddie. Maddie gets agitated when one of us leave (outside of the normal routine times) and she wouldn’t have been as good if my wife had run home and tried to give her her meds.

      Me and this finger…I don’t know what to say.

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    1. Thanks John. We have to think about what we do and what we do when things go wrong. As minor as this was, it might have been better to let the ambulance transport, because when things go wrong in the car, it’s scary.

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  25. Sympathies to both you and Maddie. And I understand… I did similar (with a bread knife and the wrong glasses on at the time) just a few weeks ago, to my thumb. Thankfully didn’t need hospital, though. Hopefully your finger’s on the mend, now?

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    1. I’m not sure I’d say I’m accident prone. I do a lot of work around the house, so I think I up the odds. My wife is pretty handy with a bandage. I’ve had first aid training, and we have a well-stocked boo boo cabinet, as my wife calls it.

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  27. Gracious, Maddie had a day! (And yes, I think it’s hysterical we’re all focused on the dog. But hey, it’s Maddie.) Urgent Care visits are *never* fun. Hope you’re doing better!

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  28. As long as Maddie was happy…….one time I was slicing potatoes
    For scalloped potatoes. I sliced off the tip of my finger. I didn’t have any more potatoes so I fished the fingertip out, washed the potatoes really good with soap and finished them up.

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  29. Oh, my stars, Dan!! Guess you saw them at the “blood swirling in the sink.” Read all the comments and know you are okay and healing, but finger challenged to type. (shaking head & laughing) Yep, you have that humor going no matter what! Glad you still have the finger, the level headed editor, and Faith to the rescue. Maddie looked totally happy and that made a good ending! Heal well! 😊 Christine

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  30. Oh rats, Dan it’s always the same finger, or the same hand (hubby’s)! Sigh, you’re still lucky, at least you … let me stop right here, and change direction – am glad they were able to stitch it! And Maddie was not too discombobulated:) No more utility knives this week!

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  31. You need safety gloves like the fish mongers wear or something! I’m glad you and your finger are going to be okay.

    Poor Maddie, but boy oh boy did she happy to be sitting with Faith!

    Rest up this long week-end! Hope you heal quickly.

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    1. Thanks Deborah. I actually have gloves, I just never thought to wear them for this job. We finally got the fence up last night. I think Maddie was hoping Faith would come back.

      Enjoy the holiday weekend!

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  32. Yikes! Thanks for reminding all of us to be careful. Both my husband and I have done that sort of thing when we’re tired and keep working. I’m so glad you’re all okay and that Maddie had fun. I always loved how Flounder delivered that line – brings back memories.

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  33. Oh Em Gee! I loved Maddie in the chair, but I so giggled and cackled at Maddie’s big smile in the shot after that! So happy! Love it! I think y’all are right about Flounder.
    Sorry about your finger. That finger. Again. Poor guy. Sounds like your wife is good at bandages. Must have been a component in the matchmaking ;)

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    1. It was a skill set I was looking for 😏

      The finger is healing nicely. The lady stitched well. Maddie is always thrilled to see Faith, but to have her all to herself and sit with her on a Monday – the best.

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  34. Just reading about your blood swirling in the sink made my legs buckle and my stomach feel queasy. Oddly, I have that reaction to the blood of others, but I’m quite stoic when I need stitches. And Maddy. You have to love Maddy.

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    1. I’m sorry, Janet. My best friend knows I was cut and that I had stitches but that’s about it. He can’t listen to the rest. I’m not really sure how I am with others’ blood, but I’m not great with mine.

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  35. I’d say Maddie did a fine job working that situation! Hope you finger heals quickly…obviously a very nasty cut for stitches….and I am a visual thinker so of course had to picture the blood, etc. The minute I started reading the post, my mind went back to your episode last year. Of course it had to be the same officer you had last year…..have a great Memorial Day Weekend!! (and safe)

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    1. Thanks Kirt. Things worked out well for Maddie. I’m sorry about the visual, it’s one I don’t want see again. We live in a pretty small town, but it was still funny to see the same officer. He might want to change shifts. The finger is healing pretty nicely.

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