No Facilities – Privacy Policy

In accordance with the GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation) the regulation which inspired me to get off my virtual butt and publish this statement, I will try to keep this plain and simple to understand.

You should understand that, due to regulations like GDPR and some stuff the folks in California are passing or already passed, I probably care more about your privacy than you do. You may not know, understand or even believe the number of fragments of your virtual DNA that you leave behind as you read posts like this. Let’s just say it wouldn’t require Lt. Columbo to piece it all together – Barney Fife could handle the task quite nicely.

If you read a post, it’s like you were caught on a surveillance camera. If you like a post, its like pushing the doorbell and not wiping your prints off. If you leave a comment, you might as well swab your cheek and leave the resilts in the mailbox. I know all about you.

Here’s the thing – I don’t care.

That’s not true. I do care, I appreciate each and every person who spends time reading this stuff. I value your ‘likes’ and I love your comments. Unless WordPress put them in my spam bucket, I always reply to your comments – well, unless we get into a serious discussion where one of us has to allow the other to have the last word. It’s OK, that can be you.

I don’t care, in the sense that I’m not collecting your name, email address, IP address, blog name, the country you live in, the place you work, the type of phone/laptop you’re using, the name of your Internet provider…oh, wait, I am collecting all of that.

I am, but I’m not planning to use it, or share it. Well, I share some of it, but only because I’m trying to protect myself and you from spammers, and I’m trying to figure out if more or fewer people are coming to this place day after day, month after month, year after – I’ve been writing this blog for over seven years!

So, I’m afraid that if you don’t want me collecting that stuff, you can’t come here. The first time you came here, I probably told you that. I told you again in May, when GDPR became law. I’ll tell you again if I have to. If you leave a comment, I’ll offer to tell you more about what happens with them. If you want me to forget about you, leave me a comment, or send me an email (see sidebar) and I’ll see what I can do. Really, I will.

I will forget about you.

However, if you want to have it look like you were never here, you may have to contact WordPress, Askimet, Google, YouTube (a flavor of Google), Flickr, whoever owns Flickr at the moment and everyone who owned Flickr in the past, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Apple, AT&T, Cox Cable and the Internet provider of every hotel I was staying in when I read one of your comments. Oh, don’t forget Southwest Airlines, Delta and Amtrak, just to be sure. You see, I can only take care of the stuff you left here. If you click on any links I add to my posts, you may have left a trail that I can’t erase.

If this is confusing, welcome to the club. If you’re wondering whether or not you need such statement on your blog, or whether you need to think about these things, tune in tomorrow when I invite an actual bona fide expert to tell you about the fairly new and very complicated law that may or may not affect you. Don’t worry, he’s a friend, I trust him and he’s fun to listen to.

In the meantime, enjoy a few pictures and, if that song is stuck in your head, check out the video. But, don’t say I didn’t warn you – the video is on YouTube and when you ring their doorbell, I can’t wipe off your print – sorry.


83 comments

  1. Barney Fife and Simple Minds in the same post? You’re a genius, Dan. I love your humourous spin on what continues to be a headache for anybody with an online space. I was wondering if I needed to put something up on my blog but some people are saying because I’m not self-hosted WP has taken care of it. I don’t care about email lists (nor do I want one). This is the kind of thing that drives people (meaning me) to drink! *where’s my Smirnoff?* Oh, and I am going to have to reblog this!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Dan–I am so glad you posted this. I started noticing different bloggers post that ‘This site uses Akismet’ blurb and wondered if I needed to do it, also. You had to help me with pingbacks and adding widgets so you know this confused the heck out of me. No, I’ve not posted this statement on my blog. I mean dog and cat photos…..what am I gonna share about someone liking those. I am looking forward to your post tomorrow with the expert. Oh, the Barney Fife comment…so darn funny!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Lois. I hope you like tomorrows post. It’s longer but a little more serious.

      It’s too long to cover in one post, do I decided to split it into two.

      Like

  3. Dan, so you’re sayin’ my prints are all over this comment. Gone from a nobody to a “person of interest?” Not! (laughing) Love your humor explaining the GDPR. Thanks! Maddie’s pic among the flowers and food makes the post even better. Happy Sunday World! (since I’m out there everywhere) 📚 Christine

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Reblogged this on Mint Tea and Elephants and commented:
    GDPR has been a four-letter word on the Internet for a while. I’ve yet to see anybody other than the fine folk who came up with it praise its raison d’être. People are still confused. Those who understand what is required are complaining that they have to do whatever should be done. I’m still trying to figure out why it’s important because I thought that the People of the Internet knew that everything we do here is tracked, recorded, archived and sometimes used for nefarious purposes. I’ve decided it’s nothing to do with me. I don’t have an email list (in fact, I have a grand total of two email subscribers one of whom is my sister, the other seems to be a French bot). I don’t mine my readers’ data to satisfy my lust for world domination. I don’t sell the data that my blog collects to third parties. Technically, it isn’t even my blog, it belongs to WordPress so if you have any questions, ask them.

    Dan over at No Facilities has done a great job writing about this whole thing. Go read his post. As an added bonus, he’s got great photos as usual. Happy Sunday!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I like your spin on current policies. As many I’ve also seen these privacy messages appear on countless blogs and websites. We would be naive to believe that we can live in the shadows, particularly in the U.S. Unless we decided to live as we were still in the 1990s, we cannot be invisible anymore. The positive aspect is how so many people interract with each other while not knowing each other like we use to know people. We still have the choice to ignore a post or to refrain from commenting when we wish to remain more private. It is a whole new world that opened up when the Internet became a universal tool. A privilege with rights and duties too, I think. I realize that I’m way too serious, here, considering the humorous tone you chose to address a topic that is not really funny :)
    Appreciate your take on it. Photos and music add to the tone too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Evelyne. I had to split this into two parts. Tomorrow’s post is more serious but still light. It may even be helpful.

      The concern is when people (companies) connect the dots and discover more about you than you ever told any one person. That’s why GDPR came about. There are many good aspects of that law.

      I don’t know nearly as much about California’s new law. We aren’t likely to ever get something like GDPR out of our Congress, do we will end up with 30-35 state laws to comply with. It’s a nightmare for businesses.

      Like

  6. So, should I ring the bell, or comment or just read? Or should I go to the library, log on and read there? Or should I wait for tomorrow’s part two? I’ll wait for tomorrow. But, make it in terms that we non technical folks can understand otherwise expect your email to fill up with questions from your favorite commenters. :-) Love Maddie and her veggies. So, now I’m probably on someone’s list that I like dogs? Do they take into consideration Maddie is the only dog I make favorable comments on? Is Maddie now at the top of some list? Is this how Zuckerberg became one of the top richest men? My head is spinning. :-)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Judy. I’ve proofread tomorrow’s post. I hope it’s easy to understand but I’m willing to answer questions about this mess we’re in. I think we’re all just fine as we are, but lots of people have asked questions, so I thought I’d try to answer.

      Just in case, I’ll be loading the gallery with Maddie pics.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. There is no such thing as privacy. Interestingly, my son was talking about a local city-mini-storage. It’s quite close, as in a block. Today, when he opened his phone, low and behold, ads for city-mini-storage. It’s happened so regularly so frequently that it is astounding on one hand shocking on the other and annoying too. So privacy? not a chance!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve had they happen. It is annoying even when it’s helpful.

      Privacy, as we once understood it, doesn’t exist. There are ways to prevent additional loss, but most people seem to prefer the convenience of not doing it or don’t want the bother of reading and setting the options.

      Like

  8. In this day and age privacy is an illusion. You walk down a street and your picture is taken a dozen times. WiFi, Internet, phones, tablets . . . If Big Brother is listening he must either be sleeping from boredom or laughing hysterically. Either way, I’m good.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. You can’t get rid of me that easily, Dan. I’ll be commenting and snarking, as usual.

    There are times when I really feel like saying goodbye to all that is internet, but it’s just not possible these days. We’re pretty much internet dependant. No matter what you do, someone has your information. I can search once for an item that I’ll only buy once, but the ads for it will show up in my Facebook feed for weeks and weeks and forever. It’s ridiculous.

    Anyhow, I’ll be back for tomorrow’s post so that you gather more of the boring and non-useful information about me. ;-)

    Liked by 1 person

  10. BEST. PRIVACY. STATEMENT. EVER!!!! …. and that’s from someone who spent 12 years reading, assessing, and writing privacy statements. LOVE IT!!!

    … and I’m really looking forward to tomorrow’s post, although since I’m going to be on the road for the next 3 days, I can’t guarantee I’ll be reading it tomorrow. I’ll catch you when I can … how’s that for privacy? I know where to find you 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  11. My only problem with this privacy statement is that I didn’t think of it first (of course it would also require your unique sense of humor and your engaging way with words). I’m looking forward to your next post… maybe I will steal that one too.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Thank you, Dan. Like you, I just want to read, like, comment, and enjoy my fellow bloggers. Pretty simple. And pretty sad that some bloggers worry about privacy. If they’re worried, then why do they even blog? Throw me into that boat of no privacy worries. I’ll swim along.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. The statement “Life as we know it” should be changed to “Life as we don’t know it.” It seems we are in a constantly evolving, constantly changing system where you can never tell where you DNA will end up and what someone can do with it, what “liking” things online actually mean, where a simple single “like” online is turned against you in the form of ads to make other people superwealthy.
    I hate not knowing stuff but mostly I find out that I don’t know, that I don’t know that I don’t know. Ha!
    There is so much to know that affects you, and it increases everyday, yet there is not enough time to know it all.
    I noticed that after reading a blog whose writer I follow on Twitter and then opening my Twitter account afterwards, the first post I see on my newsfeed is from that blogger.
    Thank you Dan.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The connections are not coincidence my friend. The data that we leave behind is meaningless, until powerful computers start connecting the dots.

      It’s important that we learn and understand what options and rights we have. Thanks Peter.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I wonder if we’ve ever really had privacy or if it’s just been a case of people not caring about what other people are up to because they’re so enthralled with their own affairs.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m sure we’ve always shared information without thinking and I’m sure that information was “shared” (gossip) without our knowing. What gets my attention is the degree to which the sharing of that information is monetized today.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. I’d possibly have a comment , but it would compromise my privacy . I don’t want any one or any entity messing with my DNA , and I certainly won’t give up my privacy ! Do you hear me Google , Facebook , CIA , NSA , FBI , FSB , MI6 , etc. ? While I’m at it : Stop sending me the ads for socks and exotic vacations. Besides , I’ve stolen someone’s identity and it’s not really me anyway .

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks “Dan” – I’ll be comparing your IP Address to all of Dan’s known locations. The drones are being fired up and the payload is being installed. We know where you are.

      Like

  16. Love your privacy statement. I had an interesting one worked up, but WordPress ate it, I think. I dunno. I’m looking forward to reading your visiting expert. Will he post pictures of Maddie?

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I wrote a thing cause I saw other people had a thing, but then Craig told me if I don’t sell anything, I don’t need a thing. Maybe your guy will be more helpful.
    I like your thing. I’m not worried about your blog.
    I love the part about giving people the last word. I’m like that, too. :D

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t think I need it, but it was fun to write, and I had to break the post into two pieces or I was going to have one that was over 2,000 words and I think the Editor would put the kibosh on that.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. On advice of counsel I added my GDPR disclaimer to my blog sidebar. It says: “I ain’t doing nothing sneaky with your information stuff.” No need to get carried away with things, I figure.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Dan, I think I might be in trouble. I read these two posts out of order. And I always forget to wash my hands before using the internet. Let alone try to wipe clean my fingerprints. Sorry about trying to change this into scream of consciousness day. I will have to look up the March Hare lines from Alice Through the Looking Glass and insert them here along with a couple of bottles of the small sauce. Sadly all of my links are missing and I require both moderation and perhaps more desperately medication. Now about that sign. ‘Warning objects in mirror may be closer than you think. And no matter how scary they look employees must wash hands before running screaming from the restroom.’ I think this might have something to do with my wife taking me to see Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom. I keep looking under pillows and behind sofas for runamuck dinosaurs… JWFK another four letter acronym. And one that you do not have to agree to the terms of. Just run faster than the person next to you…

    Liked by 1 person

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