“Aww, Are You OK?” – #1linerWeds

Family, Humor, One Line Wed 72 comments

Ask anybody that knows me well and they will agree that I have a knack for saying the wrong thing. Perhaps it’s the right thing at the wrong moment, perhaps it was intended to be a good thing and just came out wrong, but perhaps it was just the wrong thing altogether. I’d like to say that I’m getting a bad rap, that things are being mis-heard, misunderstood or that people are being overly sensitive, but…

Last Sunday, our daughter Faith and my brother and I attended the Steeler football game in Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh lost to Kansas City. That was bad enough. Worse, our seats were on the sunny side of the stadium. Worse yet, it was sunny. We baked through four quarters of ups and downs, backs and forths, and not enough yards to move the score in our favor. You would think that, if the Steelers didn’t want to win bad enough for themselves, they could have thought about us poor fans melting in the bleachers.

As we walked back to the hotel, we were talking about the shower we needed to wash the sweat, not to mention the stink of that game away and how we wanted to drive away from the city for dinner. The night before, after a Pitt football win, all the area restaurants were packed. We didn’t want to deal with a crowd, especially a miserable crowd and we certainly didn’t want to sit near celebrating Chiefs fans – they were entitled, but we didn’t want to hear it.

An hour or so later, cool, clean and composed, we headed out to a Mediterranean restaurant in the town my brother and I grew up in. We didn’t think the restaurant had a liquor license, so we all ordered tea or iced tea. Then we spied the “Beer and Wine” menu. My brother thought he might like wine. I thought the same. Seeing that the wine we wanted was $8 per glass but only $26 for a bottle, I suggested that maybe a bottle was a better deal for the three of us.

Faith said: “I still don’t feel that great, I think I’ll stick with tea.”

Despite all the fatherly, loving, caring and compassionate lines that were in my head at the time, the one that made it to my mouth first was:

“Oooh, so can you be our driver?”

She laughed and agreed to be our designated driver, to which my brother said: “Bottle it is!”

This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s fun weekly series One-Liner Wednesday. If you have a one-liner, I’d encourage you to join in on the fun. You can follow this link to participate and to see the one-liners from the other participants.

Our grandmother was born in the Bekaa Valley (then part of Syria) so we decided to honor her with our wine selection.
My Kibbie plate. Not as good as my grandmother’s but not bad.
Various appetizers – stuffed grape leaves, veggies, pickled turnips, pickles and pita bread.
Marigolds bordering the Editor’s veggie garden.
Goldenrod – doesn’t bother me (plays havoc with others in the house).
Another sign of autumn.
Hartford glowing in the first light of the day.
“Swim toward the light.”
The Cold Building complex.
There is an unusual amount of shoreline vegetation this year.
I’m not sure what this is, but after six attempts, I got this close-up.
The Connecticut River is fairly quiet today.
“Sorry!” As I turned around in the park, my headlights caught this Green Heron. I hated to bother him, but I couldn’t resist taking a couple of pictures.
“And what have we here?
Ugh – The Miami Hurricanes are in the ACC Coastal division – just like Pitt. I shouldn’t have to look at this, but…
Good breakfast, even if I did have to look at that cup.
I am watching the boys tonight (Tuesday). They’re trying to tell me that they haven’t eaten in days.

72 comments

  2. Dan… lucky for you, I’m certain Faith doesn’t need me to jump in and defend her. (Just kidding — it’s so easy to see from this blog that you adore her.) The heron pics are fabulous! The food looks amazing. (If I get a break I need to google those lemon looking things.) Chin rubs to the kitties. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks Teagan. The boys woke me up for food, then chin rubs.I felt bad for disturbing the Heron while he was fishing, but he should have known that I’d snag a couple of pictures. The food was very good, and our driver was a good sport.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  3. In sports, even though my Sox have clinched the AL East, I succumbed to going to a Tampa Bay/NY Yankees game tomorrow. I won’t have to worry about the sun since it has a dome, but to me that just isn’t baseball. That’s how I feel about football too. What seems more natural than sitting at a game and the snow keeps covering up the yard lines!! NOW – THAT’S football!!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Ha ha – I agree with you on both counts. Baseball in a dome doesn’t seem right, and football is a cold weather sport. Unfortunately, we have to pick a home game that works for three schedules and is considerate of drivers going 500 and 900 miles, respectively, The last time, we when in mid-November, That might be the best time.

      As for baseball, I am enjoying watching the Pirates frustrate the Cubs.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  5. Ah, families all have their own language – don’t worry about it. Your daughter knows you care and probably loves you for the odd remarks as much as for your love. I remember a card from me or my sister that my dad was given for his birthday (when he was in his 80s) that said inside “happy birthday to an old fart” to which he replied “less of the old!” That was so predictable that it made us smile broadly!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  6. Your Faith is a good sport. Dad needs to practice his one-liners.

    The great thing about last week’s football loss is that they turned it into a win this week. Can’t say that about the Packers. Ugh. When I used to go to games at Lambeau, I preferred the temps to be somewhere between 45 and 65. Perfect football weather.

    I’m glad you had a good time in Pittsburgh. The company was great, the food was yummy, and it’s always better than being at work.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks Mary. She is a good sport, as is her mom. They’ve heard plenty of these comments over time. Normally, September would have been OK for football in Pittsburgh, maybe a little warm, but not hot. It would have been better if they had won, but they had some good moments. 45 seconds would have done it, but they game ends when the game ends.

      I hope Aaron gets healthy and back into good form. You know the Bears won’t stay on top. I think you guys have a good season ahead. The NFL is crazy this year.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. The refs have to stop calling the stupid “roughing the passer” calls and let those guys play. The calls made the last two weeks on Clay Matthews were ridiculous. The Packers should have won the game against Minnesota.

        You need some sort of Star Trek gadget that changes inappropriate one-liners into appropriate ones. Would the universal translator work?

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

        1. The universal “what I meant to say” device would be perfect for me.

          They pulled one of those calls back against Pittsburgh, but the guy ad barely brushed up against the QB. Although it would have saved their drive, Tampa’s QB looked in shock when the ref threw the flag – he never even went down!

          Also, I’m ready for Ben, Brady and Drew Brees to retire. I don’t want to see the same QB for all these years. I’l like to see what Josh Dobbs can do.

          Like

          Reply

            1. He does, I’d keep him, too.

              I’m just waiting for Ben to admit that he shouldn’t have played against the Chiefs. He had been injured (throwing elbow) in the first game, missed two days of practice, and, as good as his stats were, he looked like he was off. He has done this before, numerous times. The live of a diva, I suppose.

              Liked by 1 person

    1. It was still a win, Jennie. We go to these games to be together, to enjoy a weekend full of stuff we can’t normally do. To eat our favorite foods and enjoy being around other fans of the teams we love. If you’re living away from your hometown teams, these weekends are very important.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  10. Faith couldn’t be void of a sense of humor if she wanted to be……not growing up with you and the Editor! Thinking back to some of your posts, the Editor could handle One Liner Wednesday very nicely!! Lol.

    Love the reflection photos. And the heron pics are great. But that shot of those gorgeous putty tats wins the blue ribbon today.
    🔹 Ginger 🔹

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Thanks Ginger. Those tow knuckleheads are treating me like a substitute teacher. “Mom normally feeds us a 3:00 am” “Mom gives us more treats” “Mom lets me go outside”

      Faith had good training in dealing with the comments that raced out of my mouth without passing through my brain. Like her mom, she’s a good sport about it.

      Like

      Reply

    1. Thanks Lois – I’m not sure if those ducks even see the reflection from their angle, but they always seem to swim toward it. These clowns have been fed, and fed and will be fed again before I eave, but they act like they’re starving. I’m not sure if she keeps a notebook (I hope not) but she has a good memory for them: “I think you can squeeze through there…”

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  12. I have often zeroed in on a designated driver at social gatherings. (Okay… I may point, scream and cackle “you’re it!” like some demented game of tag participant as I slurp my 4th margarita. It’s called being a responsible adult, they should thank us.)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  13. Well, gee, someone has to drive. Better a not-feeling-so-good driver than a totally drunk driver. Some day I’ll tell the story of our mother-daughter trip to Niagara-on-the-Lake, when I got totally blasted on a bottle of wine. (Hm, I do need a post idea …. thank you for helping me think of one!)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. You’re welcome for the idea. While we weren’t “blasted,” we felt better about splitting a bottle of wine, knowing that we wouldn’t have to drive back to the hotel. Otherwise, we would have settled for a glass of wine.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  16. Hi Dan – glad you were able to enjoy the event … even if ‘bleached’ by the sun – I have to admit I thought you might be going back to a hotel where the water had stopped working … so was relieved to see you were able to clean up before heading out. The dolmades look good … and I think kibbeh – sounds like with the wine and Faith sticking to her light refreshments … a good day was had by all – cheers Hilary

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  17. “Oooh, so can you be our driver?”

    While drinking with eight friends in the French Quarter of New Orleans, the ninth member of our group refrained from alcohol because he was the designated driver of our nine passenger van.

    Because he was not drinking, we kept getting kicked out of clubs.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  22. I think this sunny, funny story is just what I needed today :) Thanks!
    Yes, please, if you’re not drinkin, LEMME! G’girl, Faith! Love how the red has dripped down the bottle, too.
    Plates look yummy and my dinner’s still in the oven.
    I think the heron was secretly hammin it up!
    Nice share :)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Caught in the spotlight ? Maybe. He wasn’t in a hurry to leave, and he did stretch out like “get this.”

      The bottle served us well. Paid homage to our grandmother, ate the food she used to cook and wine from her region. The food was very good. Not as good as Sita’s, but good.

      Faith is a good sport. She doesn’t drink much anyway. I’m glad you enjoyed. I hope dinner is almost ready.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  23. O.M.G. Kibbe!! It’s been years since I had any that even looked tha good. I love, love it. And falafel. And Greek flatbred, not the stuffing pita but the spongy kind. Oh man now I’m hungry. Honestly, I find nothing wrong in your comment. Except maybe she wouldn’t feel well enough to drive? Best feed da boys. They are looking peckish. 😏💕

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. We grew up eating this food (and that bread). My grandmother and her daughters were all excellent cooks. My mom learned how to make some dishes, but my brother is a better cook than she was.

      I fed the boys, and fed them, and fed them…

      Like

      Reply

  25. Your concern was eventually vocalized, but I knew it was in their somewhere under your excitement about my ability to drive 🙂 You do have enough in the emotional support bank to be able to support the occasional “um, what did you just say” moment. Of course, Mom and I also have a bank of your best one-liners (“you are not short”) and you have to deal with the fact that we still remember all of them twenty or thirty years later. Sorry 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  26. The only thing I don’t like about your posts is having to scroll down a million miles to leave a comment…but that’s a good thing for you, you’re keeping everyone interested. Another thing while I’m at it, is those breakfast photos…so good yet so tempting. I’m fairly good at resisting bacon till I spot them! The pics of the gleaming water are gorgeous. Guess I’ll have to get used to the scrolling.🙄☺️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Ha ha – sorry for those failings. I did try having the new comments enter at the top, but I found it hard to respond when people added a comment to my reply. I hate to leave anyone hanging. As for the food, I’m stuck on that one. If I talk about a meal but don’t show photos, I get people asking for them. If I include them, I get comments like this. If it’s any consolation, I get hungry when I see those photos too!

      Thank you for the extra effort to get here – I appreciate it.

      Like

      Reply

  29. Well, Dan, I offered to be the designated driver when my two sons & friends went over the line to drink in Idaho. We went to college together at Washington State State U. I had the car too! Fun times! Driving past Hartford yesterday from ourfamily visit in Grafton, MA, I pointed down the river to where you might be taking those Hartford pics like the one in this post. I waved! I still love CT, the quaint Colonial towns, and so many tall trees! Back to CA today. Vacation with sister & favorite cousin over. Happy Weekend! 📚🎶 Christine

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  31. OMG! That next moment when you realized it was YOUR CHILD that would be the designated driver…hear all the breath leave my chest in one big exhale. That’s it. I have been there. That shit wakes you up!
    You’re a lucky man and Uncle to have such a daughter. I know I have two such offspring myself.
    You would be proud He-Man raised them to be Steeler fans way out here in the far-out West in 49er, and Raider territory! We have Terrible Towels and all sorts of Jerersys. It seems you can take the boy out of PA, but not the PA fan loyalty out of the boy.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. You’re right, Deborah! I remember taking Faith to NY City as a young girl. I pointed out the Molly Wee Pub and told her it was one of the places I like to eat when I was in town for meetings. She said, “I look forward to when I can go there with you and have a beer.” – I thought that day would never come. About 10 years later, there we were, at the Molly Wee, having a beer. Those moments really do wake you up.

      Keep those towels moving, The Steelers need all the help they can get this season.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Gravatar
WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Cancel

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.