Dan Antion

Stuff I Didn’t Ask For & Don’t Want

This post is a public service from No Facilities for our non-geek readers. You might be unaware of the fact that last week, the Consumer Electronic Show (CES) was held in Las Vegas. CES is the annual opportunity for manufacturers to showcase the latest and allegedly greatest output from their backroom boys. Some of this stuff isn’t available yet, but most of it will find its way to a Best Buy, PC Richard or Home Depot at some point in 2019. The show goes on for days, so it’s impossible to do justice to it in a single blog post. Just google CES2019 for something on the order of 9-billion reviews. Keep in mind that the first 8 ½ billion are paid for by the manufacturers. I’ve cherry-picked the list for the things I want the least.

Bixby Vision – Put that at the top of my list. Samsung is adding this to its refrigerators so that you can scan the inside of the box from your smart phone. This from an “official” review:

“…it won’t be able to ID everything. The company demoed the feature for me on the CES showfloor by putting fruits, veggies and unpackaged meat and fish inside. It was able to ID all of it and add it to the Family Hub’s food list — though it did identify two bell peppers as “paprika” for some reason.”

I had to ask the Editor when the last time was that she put unpackaged meat in the fridge. She gave me that look that usually proceeds, “have you been drinking?”

Monit smart diaper sensor – Okaaaay, who thought we needed this? Seriously, stick a Bluetooth sensor the size of an Oreo in between the #1 and #2 outlet locations on your baby’s diaper and get a notice on your smartphone when pee or poop happens. This lets you avoid the “sniff test” and presumably just get back to life-before-infant. Why not just invent smarter babies?

Orii – A bone-conduction ring that sends sound through your finger into your ear when you press your finger up against a specific spot. According to CNET, “It doesn’t sound great, but you can take a call with your cell phone in your pocket.” Actually, I can do that now, and I don’t have to keep my finger pressed against my head. As far as I can see, Orii is all the fun of holding a phone during a call, just without the phone.

I think this would look better if he was holding a phone.

Hyundai Elevate walking car – For years, we were promised flying cars, like the one George Jetson drove. I guess your car has to learn to walk before it can fly. The Elevate (that’s its name) can drive at highway speeds, climb a 5-foot wall and step over a 5-foot gap. When the toddlers in the dysfunctional daycare center that is Washington, DC finally compromise on a boarder wall/hedge/moat, this thing will be a big hit in Mexico.

Sphero Specdrums – App-enabled rings that turn colors into music with a simple tap. “Create music anytime, anywhere and make the world your instrument.” Now that’s just what we need to make us all want to learn the Vulcan nerve pinch. Wasn’t it your annoying cousin Eddie who used to play drums on everything at the Christmas party? Now you can recreate that moment everywhere something has color. Of course, you’ll have to do a one-hand solo if you get a phone call, because, you need one finger for Orii.

Y-Brush – The first 10-second deep cleaning toothbrush. It only looks like a football player’s mouthguard and I’m guessing it only takes a minute or two to clean and rinse after use. It appears to take about half the space of most medicine cabinet shelves but think of all the time you’ll save.

Urgonight – For those of you who miss the comfort of sleeping with the headgear for your braces, now you can straighten your brain. Working in conjunction with an app on your phone, Urgonight will train your brain to sleep better.

Pibo – A social robot that will hang out with you. It learns your style of communication and talks to you like you would talk to yourself if you weren’t afraid that the neighbors would think you’re weird.

I know we don’t exchange gifts, but if you were thinking about it, scratch these all from the list.

Minimal gallery today, but I don’t want to ignore the fur babies.

We just came inside. It’s 12°f (-11.1°c) out there. Time to warm up.
Breakfast peanut.
“Are we going back outside?”
No snow in the forecast, but a pretty sky.
MiMi is trying to figure out where Maddie is going.
The low sun is really bright.
One more trip outside
“Thanks for the peanut!”
“It’s Sunday – the desk is off limits. Go away!”
“I’m warming up. Thanks!”
This selfie was for Ginger, on Saturday, when I forgot to include a Maddie pic.

71 comments

  1. 😂🤣💕Excpet for that robot. I often feel isolated and that no one understands the real me..if someone could just pretend now and then…..lol.
    I see you have paid proper homage to Maddie after ditching her in Saturday’s post. 😉I love that last shot. Hope you and the Editor have a great week, even though you’ll have to scan the contents of your fridge with your own peepers.

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  2. Hi Dan – leave me out of all those … so agree. Please keep Maddie and all your other furry critters – as too keep us up to date with the Editor’s and Faith’s journeys with you … have a good week – and hope that white stuff doesn’t swamp you – cheers Hilary

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    • Thanks Hilary. Apparently, the white stuff might make an appearance later in the week. We’ve been lucky (I guess) so far, in that we’ve mostly had rain. But it’s cold this week, so maybe Maddie will get to play in some snow.

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      • Looks like we might get the white stuff next week – definitely going to be colder … I’m sure Maddie will love her pluffing around in it … !! Hope it doesn’t hit too hard, should it come …

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  4. Good grief – an emphatic ‘no’ from me too for each of these. The diaper thing is ludicrous and the orii is not far behind it. And what’s with this obsession that developers have with the refrigerator? It’s a cold box. That’s it’s purpose. Leave it alone.

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    • Ha ha – I know. They want the fridge to be the “information hub” of your house. I just want it to keep food cold. I wouldn’t want to embarrass anyone in our family, but we never had a problem knowing that a diaper needed to be changed. The Orii is laughable. I can tap a bluetooth earbud one time and talk, totally hands free. I wonder if this would even be considered “hands free” for driving purposes. It would seem not.

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      • I guess the point with the Orii is that you don’t need an annoying bud in your ear. But still. No.
        … and when it comes to diapers, yes, I agree. They already have their own natural notification system in place 😉This is helicopter parenting taken to a new extreme.

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  5. What a fun way to start my day, Dan. These are the kinds of gadgets that used to show up in the catalogs that were available on airplanes, i.e. things that are completely impractical, but cool in a geeky kind of way. I guess that inventors need to work hard to convince us that we need more and better “stuff.”

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  6. “When the toddlers in the dysfunctional daycare center that is Washington, DC finally compromise on a boarder wall/hedge/moat, this thing will be a big hit in Mexico.”
    AND
    “Now that’s just what we need to make us all want to learn the Vulcan nerve pinch.”

    Thanks for this Monday morning LOL. Starting off the week right!

    Actually, most of these items made me LOL. I got excited for a nanosecond over the Ergonight and your comment “now you can straighten your brain.” I need something to straighten out the memory, not make me sleep. Sleeping is fine, the memory not as much.

    Fun stuff, Dan. Thanks for sharing the art of invention, whether or not I can put my finger up to my ear and call it useful.

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    • I’m glad you enjoyed this, Mary. It’s good to start the week with a laugh.

      I tried holding my finger at that spot, and I got tired of that, very quickly. Then again, I can’t picture the inventors of that thing actually having a conversation with another human being.

      I’m not saying I wouldn’t want to drive the walking car, but I have no clue as to where I would go with it around here.

      Have a great week.

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  7. I’m not sure I can add anything to the good comments already noted. I won’t be in line for any of these, and I wonder what the younger generation is so busy doing that they need a machine attached to the bottom of their baby. Scrolling social media? Sniffing a stinky diaper might be of more value than that. :-) Happy week Dan and Maddie. :-)

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    • Thanks Judy. Looking at these things, you have to wonder how we survived, and how on earth did our parents survive. I really see no value in being able to look inside the fridge from my phone. Until such time that I can tap on the image of a beer and have it appear next to me, that is.

      Have a good week. I hope life isn’t too hard.

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  8. I fear for our future when people are excited about knowing when a child pees. What about alleviating hunger, cancer, etc. The big boys (and girls) need to figure out what is important! Hi. Maddie.

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    • Thanks Pam. That someone thinks we need this stuff is kind of scary. The big question I have about the baby things is “why aren’t you paying attention to your baby?”

      They are running an ad campaign here to remind people that they might have a baby in the back of their car. Buses have these signs on the back that say “Where’s Baby?” http://www.wheresbaby.org/

      So maybe there’s a thing I can put on the baby that will beep my phone when I walk away from my car and leave little Joey in the back. Jeeze, wouldn’t it be easier if we had brains?

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  9. I don’t know, Dan. Depending on which finger you put that ring on, you could send a subtle (or not) message to the bothersome dude standing next to you. MiMi…..she cracks me up. Twelve degrees?! And Maggie wanted more?! She is a wild girl.

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    • I hadn’t thought of that, Lois. That would be fun sometimes in a meeting – “excuse me, I have to take a call.” Ha!

      We worry about Maddie’s feet in the cold, but she doesn’t seem to care. It’s always funny when she stands there watching us get all bundled up and she’s ready to roll as is.

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  11. OMG! Thanks for starting my week off with laughter. Like everyone else, this is one line you won’t find me on. Can’t help but wonder why people, who clearly have incredibly creative minds, waste their gift on this kind of nonsense. Imagine the good they could be contributing.

    I hope the mastermind in the White House sees the Elevate Walking Car.

    Great gallery, as always. Thanks for the selfie again. Too cute. And MiMi is becoming quite the stand up (or lie down) comedian.

    It was 2 degrees earlier. Currently at a balmy 5! Maybe I should turn off the heat!! 😳
    Stay warm…..and stay well.
    🐾Ginger 🐾

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    • Thanks Ginger. I feel positively toasty, knowing it was 15 when I left for work this morning. Almost summer, compared to 2. MiMi didn’t “speak” until about a year ago. Now, she’s becoming quite vocal and I think I know what she’s saying.

      Maddie seemed upset that I forgot to include her on Saturday.

      I don’t know where these folks get their bright ideas, but I think some need bigger drawing boards.

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    • Ha ha – he does look a little like the dough boy. I’ve never been to CES but I’ve been to tons of tech conferences. They tend to be 80% things I don’t need and 20% things I can’t afford.

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  17. I cringe with most of these things……laughed at the diaper one coming fresh off of taking care of our granddaughter in the midst of potty training time……for whatever reason if she has a #2 accident while we are watching, she asks for grandpa to help clean up the mess…grandma gets called for #1 accidents which actually hardly ever happen…although grandma does spend a lot of time with her in the bathroom because she announces the #1 need and #2 need is still after the fact…..

    Gave a great week…we are in day one of four with rain, rain, rain…which is needed so badly out here. Love it…feels like a Seattle day!!

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    • Thanks Kirt. It’s been a while since I had diaper duty but I think I could handle it without the remote.

      It looks like winter might arrive later this week. Snow is in the forecast for the first time since early November.

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  19. My husband attended last year’s CES with a friend and had a great time. Fortunately, the only souvenir he brought home was a nifty little cover for my iPad’s front-facing camera (you know, just in case someone is monitoring my boring day-to-day activities). At first I thought that little robot was cute, but then it occurred to me that I don’t get enough alone time as it is. Who would want that jabbering at them all day?

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    • I have never been to CES. I imagine it would be fun. I remember going to technology shows back when they were huge. It’s always amazing to see all that stuff.

      The thing that scared me about the robot is that they say: “it doesn’t like to be left alone.” Who needs a needy mechanical thing that talks?

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  20. I laughed so hard when I read these, my whole family had to read the things! Awesome post! Uncovered meats had me rollin and headgear took me over the edge!
    Gorgeous photos, too :)

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  21. These are nutso, Dan. I’m telling you, there were ZERO women on that test project for the fridge scan because no one — and I mean NO ONE — puts unwrapped meat in their fridge. Ewwww.

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  24. Do you personally attend CES? or just watch about it online or through some another medium? I got to know about CES when I started my writing career in 2009. Since then I have always watched out for the new and insane technologies that appear at CES because a lot of it might never turn into a real consumer product. I also love Mobile World Congress (MWC) which will follow soon. I remember I went to this technology startup for a job in 2012 and the entrepreneur asked me what I generally write about these days. I said I write mostly on mobile phones and cars. So, he was like so do you know about MWC? I was like Yes, I follow it closely since I have to write content on smartphones. And then he asked, so you fly to Barcelona to cover it? I was like if I had the financial power to travel to Barcelona on my own I would have chosen to become an entrepreneur and not an employee. Ouch! that hurt. Sorry Rejected.

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    • Ha ha – that’s funny (but I’m sorry) but those kind of questions are really insane. I’ve never been to CES. For my job, there really isn’t any reason to go to this show. I used to go to the Computer show in Chicago, back when manufacturers were always introducing faster processors and larger drives (in the 1990s) but they slowly died out over time. These days, I just read the reports from the show floor.

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