This weekend saw an odd convergence of ideas in my area of space. First off, on Friday, I was talking to one of my favorite people about all things data, analytics and marketing. He gave me what I think will be my one-liner for Wednesday (unless something better comes along), and we laughed and marveled at the steps and missteps of industry around these subjects. I guess we marveled and laughed, but it was hard to tell.
On Saturday, our daughter sent me an article from the Wall Street Journal about how our most trusted apps, the ones we use for health and fitness, are sharing data about us with Facebook – even when they said they wouldn’t, or when they just didn’t bother to say they might. Facebook says, “we don’t even want this data.” Which is like me saying I don’t want a second beer on Saturday. Right, Facebook, we know, you could stop ingesting data about me at any time.
This, of course, leads me to a marketing rant, a subject(s) of which my drafts folder is chocka-block full.
With all the information Facebook, Google, Apple and AT&T have about me, why do they make such stupid choices in the ads they put in front of me?
Gut Doctor Wants Everyone to Throw Away this Vegetable!
The most frequent and popular food photo I share is one showing bacon and eggs. How often do they think I’m eating veggies? I might be to blame, because I’ve clicked on this ad a few times. They weren’t intentional clicks. The ad is big, and I have accidentally clicked on it while trying to scroll past it on my phone. I can tell you this much, it’s a video of sorts and he doesn’t reveal the vegetable early. Hence my lingering hope that it’s Lima Beans – I would throw them away in a heartbeat. Bonus points to anyone who has watched this and wants to share.
Casinos Hate it when You Use This Device!
I don’t get this at all. I don’t gamble. I have never been inside a casino, not even for a show or a meal or a conference. Never. The only device casinos would be angry with me for using would be math. I know, it’s not a device, but it’s close to being my superpower and it’s what keeps me out of casinos.
This Device has Revolutionized the Hearing Aid!
This is one where I get different flavors of the ad. I get the one captioned above, but often, I get one for: “Free sample of the best invisible hearing aid.” So, again, I have to wonder if anybody making these decisions is paying attention. I mean Facebook has more than enough pictures of me to realize that I’m not overly concerned with my appearance. And, although I did write about having a hearing problem a couple of years ago, I mentioned that it was a temporary problem. If you have all that data, you should be able to connect the dots.
Relevant but Stupid
About a month ago. I bought two Pitt (University of Pittsburgh) tee shirts. Fanatics was having a sale, and I bought one for myself and one for my brother. Same shirt – featuring the “Script Pitt” logo that was popular when we were younger. Not only nostalgic, but NOT featuring Pitt’s idiotic new tag line “Hail to Pitt!” which I wouldn’t wear if William Pitt had been reincarnated as Emperor.
Here’s what Fanatics knows about me from that transaction.
I scrolled through 11 pages of men’s tee shirts and that’s the only one I bought, despite many being offered at a lower price.
I had one shipped to my house and one shipped to Iowa.
I shipped them via the whenever-it-gets-here-is-fine-with-me cheap option.
So why on earth would Facebook, Google and WordPress start shoving an ad (featuring a Pitt shirt) from Fanatics in front of me for the next several weeks? Been there – Bought that – Done!
Not that I want to give these bozos information on how to market to me, but here are a few hints:
Show me Pitt gear when football season starts. I’m not going to buy any new shirts until then.
Show me ads for “The Best Hearing Protectors” ‘cuz after suffering sudden hearing loss from a power tool that someone was using, I wear hearing protectors more often than I used to (which was always).
Show me ads for bars with good food, nice bartenders and an atmosphere conducive to conversation – duh!
Unfortunately, I have many more examples in my folder. Fortunately (for you) I’m operating under an 800-word limit today.
In addition to the answer to the veggie question, bonus points are available for examples of the stupid ads you’ve seen. (799 – phew).