I was conducting research at the bar on Saturday – yes, that’s my story – and I couldn’t help but overhear a man, I am glad I don’t know and with whom I avoided making eye contact or exchanging polite conversation. He was one of those people who seem to feel they were put on the earth to explain the obvious and improve that which is already fine. I typed a few one-liners in the Trello app on my phone, but I’m going to give them all to you today, since I’d like to forget this man as soon as possible. Feel free to take your pick. Let’s start with the initial exchange with the bartender:
“Is the City Steam on tap the IPA?”
“No, it’s the Amber. But we have six IPAs on tap. Would you like to try one?”
“No, City Steam’s IPA is perhaps their best beer. You should tell the manager to switch from the Amber to the IPA.”
“Actually, we used to have the IPA. We switched to the Amber to give our customers who don’t like IPA a nice choice.”
“IPAs are the most popular selling craft beer. Your customers would probably appreciate a broader choice.”
“I’ll pass your comment along to the manager. Now, what can I get for you?”
“She’ll (his companion) have the Sangria Special and I’ll have a Bud Light.”
The next exchange came after he and his wife finished their meal. She had had a Caesar Salad with Salmon and he had a Philly Cheesesteak sandwich. Again, the bartender started by trying to be polite:
“How was everything?”
“Her salad was fine, but the salmon was overdone.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Actually, it was fine.” Said the wife.
“No, it was overdone. My sandwich was good but tell the chef that it would be better if the steak was a little leaner. I know it’s hard to get it hot and lean, given that it’s so thin, but good chefs can pull it off.”
“I’ll be sure to let him know. Would you like another round? Would you care to see our dessert menu?”
They had another round, but fortunately for me, they held off on dessert. An MLB baseball game was on the TV closest to their end of the bar. He was obviously a Boston Red Sox fan. He had much to say about the team’s poor showing in the early days of this season. I won’t bore you with the complete dialog, but his comment at one point was astounding:
“…I mean, I think they’re still in contention, but it’s going to take a lot of work to turn this season around.”
Still in contention? This season? Still time to turn it around? What the…? This season is 162 games long. Most teams were playing game 10 this past weekend. Everyone is still in contention!
Fortunately, my carry out order arrived. I paid and left the bar as he was rolling through a lengthy list of corrective measures the Red Sox manager and coaches need to implement.
This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s fun weekly series One-Liner Wednesday. And, given the time of the year, it’s also part of Just-Jot-January. If you have a one-liner, I’d encourage you to join in on the fun. You can follow this link to participate and to see the one-liners from the other participants.
Today’s gallery includes a few more pictures from the warm weekend. It’s been hovering in the low to mid 40s (4 – 7°c) this week, so I haven’t been out with my camera. Note: Correction made to original post which said 182 games – thanks to John Holton.