Dan Antion

Absurd on a Bar Stool – #1LinerWeds

Sunrise in the back yard.

I was conducting research at the bar on Saturday – yes, that’s my story – and I couldn’t help but overhear a man, I am glad I don’t know and with whom I avoided making eye contact or exchanging polite conversation. He was one of those people who seem to feel they were put on the earth to explain the obvious and improve that which is already fine. I typed a few one-liners in the Trello app on my phone, but I’m going to give them all to you today, since I’d like to forget this man as soon as possible. Feel free to take your pick. Let’s start with the initial exchange with the bartender:

“Is the City Steam on tap the IPA?”

“No, it’s the Amber. But we have six IPAs on tap. Would you like to try one?”

“No, City Steam’s IPA is perhaps their best beer. You should tell the manager to switch from the Amber to the IPA.”

“Actually, we used to have the IPA. We switched to the Amber to give our customers who don’t like IPA a nice choice.”

“IPAs are the most popular selling craft beer. Your customers would probably appreciate a broader choice.”

“I’ll pass your comment along to the manager. Now, what can I get for you?”

“She’ll (his companion) have the Sangria Special and I’ll have a Bud Light.”

The next exchange came after he and his wife finished their meal. She had had a Caesar Salad with Salmon and he had a Philly Cheesesteak sandwich. Again, the bartender started by trying to be polite:

“How was everything?”

“Her salad was fine, but the salmon was overdone.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Actually, it was fine.” Said the wife.

“No, it was overdone. My sandwich was good but tell the chef that it would be better if the steak was a little leaner. I know it’s hard to get it hot and lean, given that it’s so thin, but good chefs can pull it off.”

“I’ll be sure to let him know. Would you like another round? Would you care to see our dessert menu?”

They had another round, but fortunately for me, they held off on dessert. An MLB baseball game was on the TV closest to their end of the bar. He was obviously a Boston Red Sox fan. He had much to say about the team’s poor showing in the early days of this season. I won’t bore you with the complete dialog, but his comment at one point was astounding:

“…I mean, I think they’re still in contention, but it’s going to take a lot of work to turn this season around.”

Still in contention? This season? Still time to turn it around? What the…? This season is 162 games long. Most teams were playing game 10 this past weekend. Everyone is still in contention!

Fortunately, my carry out order arrived. I paid and left the bar as he was rolling through a lengthy list of corrective measures the Red Sox manager and coaches need to implement.

This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s fun weekly series One-Liner Wednesday. And, given the time of the year, it’s also part of Just-Jot-January. If you have a one-liner, I’d encourage you to join in on the fun. You can follow this link to participate and to see the one-liners from the other participants.

Today’s gallery includes a few more pictures from the warm weekend. It’s been hovering in the low to mid 40s (4 – 7°c) this week, so I haven’t been out with my camera. Note: Correction made to original post which said 182 games – thanks to John Holton.

That’s the strip that blew off during the winter.
Hopefully, this will help hold that top row of siding in place.
We’re back together with “belts and suspenders” – pressure and glue.
Done and done!
“Hi there. I know, I don’t look like I’m starving, but I got a bunch of new kids to support.”
Hi Smokey.
MuMu.
My favorite railroad crossing.
This is an attempt to get a close-up of a weed that’s about 2″ tall.
Hi Chippy
Sunrise in the back yard.
Getting ready for my morning walk with Maddie.
i did raise the height of that gate,
Rain and a few signs of spring.
Water drops on the dogwood.
Outside of our office entrance.
The sun is now rising by the time I get to work.

85 comments

  2. People are nutty. I especially like your observation that “Everyone is still in contention!” I agree. Seems obvious to those of us who have our feet grounded in reality, but sports team fans… are nutty.

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  3. I do love a diner who eats the meal but complains about it and offers advice to the staff. This person is probably such an exceptional chef that he should have stayed home and prepared the meal for his family himself. :-) I’m glad you were able to fix that piece of siding because it looks like winter is hanging on and not letting go. It snowed here last night, I pulled the shades down, but the ground is still white this morning. It’s April, Mother Nature, give us a break. :-)

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    • Sorry about the snow, Judy. We had a full day of rain yesterday, but it stayed well above freezing. These guys were both members of “the clean plate club” as my parents used to say, so complaining so the complaints seemed a little crazy to me. I give the bartender credit for not smacking him. I actually took that entire row down and put it back up the way I wanted to in the first place. I hope mother nature starts serving spring days for you.

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  6. Hang on. He berated the bartender for not having the best craft IPA and then ordered a Bud Light?? That’s like telling a barista which beans he/she should be using and then ordering a skinny chai latte. Sheesh. Some people.

    I love Chippy. Good job on the repairs.

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    • Thanks Heather – When he ordered the Bud Light, I wanted to go over and smack him. “You are NOT entitled to an opinion!”

      Chippy is pretty cute, but he moves so fast, he bothers the pup.

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  7. He’s worried about the lack of IPA’s and then orders a Bud? Idiot.
    If you don’t like the salmon or steak sandwich? Send them back for something else… don’t complain after you’ve after you’ve finished them. Idiot.
    I’m an unhappy Red Sox fan right now as well, but yeah, 172 games to go. Idiot!

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  8. People are jerks. This is why I wear headphones around most of the time I go out in public. Also I am extremely nice to all people working in the service industry who I interact with. After all I have been there and done that, as have most people who live in the real world, even if they eventually move on to other things. The ones who never have had to work for a living…well, it shows.

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    • I’m with you on the treatment of people in the service industry. I spent time serving people and you never forget. I think if I had had a set of headphones, I might have put them on until my food came.

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  10. This idiot needs to shut up and stay that way. First he’s yammering about the best IPA beer and proceeds to order a Bud Light! Next he devours his Philly Cheesesteak and THEN has the audacity to complain about it, insulting the chefs skill to boot. His comment about the Red Sox still being in contention is beyond stupid. Hmmmm, do you think this idiot works in the White House?

    Great shots of Chippy and Smokey and sweet MuMu. Laughed my butt off at the squirrel trying to get his/her girth under the ALREADY RAISED UP gate.

    Nicely done repair on the siding. So glad it didn’t crack or break altogether.

    Love the close-ups of the buds and rain drops.
    🐾Ginger 🐾

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    • Thanks Ginger. This guy really needed to shut up. I wish I had recorded him making the comment about the Red Sox. He said it like one of the professional analysts on ESPN. The food comments had the bartender rolling her eyes as she walked back to my end of the bar. “Yeah, I’ll go tell the chef right now, in case he has any questions for you.”

      When that squirrel squeezed under the gate, I looked over and said “you know, I already raised that.”

      MuMu wanted to make sure we knew she is as cute as Smokey.

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  11. LOL – a guy who likes IPA goes for a Bud Light instead? WTH? Sorry…but that is funny! Great spring photos and nice work on the repair of the siding.

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  15. Capturing two inch plants is a challenge. A physical challenge for both the camera/phone and the operator. Now that rain drop thing you seem to have that figured out pretty well. One of the many reasons rain can be a good thing.

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    • Thanks John, I have a bunch of water drops that didn’t make the cut, but I really liked that one. The little weeds were even harder to photograph because I was attached to 50lbs of restless red dog.

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  17. Sooo funny! As a former waitress, I can sympathize with the poor bartender. The time to make complaints about the food is BEFORE you gobble it down.

    Love your photo of your favorite railroad crossing. The bridge framed by the trees is beautiful!

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    • Thanks Laurie. OR, you could ask when you order “could you ask if they could keep the steak a little lean.” But, yeah, once you chow down on it, just thank the bartender and leave her a nice tip.

      I’m glad you like the railroad bridge.

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    • Ack, you’re right John! Being a Pirates fan, I am heavily focused on the fact that you need 82 wins to have a winning season. I think I might have to correct this one. Thanks!

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    • Thanks Laura. This is a small bar, it’s hard not to overhear this junk. Fortunately, the clientele is usually closer to the decent-human-being side of the scale.

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  22. Then he ordered a Bud Light. Ha hahahahahahahahhaha. What a dufus. I felt sorry for his poor wife. Shouldn’t she know if the salmon was overdone? These kinds of guys slay me. The sad part is there are too many of them around. I loved the under the gate squeeze trouble. The dogwood looks like it is going to burst.

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    • Seriously, when he ordered a Bud Light I wanted to say “you are not allowed to speak of beer.” Thankfully, I don’t see many of these guys, but I’ve seen this one before. I’m surprised they let him back in.

      I did raise that gate about a month ago. The driveway had heaved up a little and the gate wouldn’t open all the way.

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  26. I’m with Deborah: Bud Light ain’t beer!! I feel for you having to listen to all this. I’ve been there and it’s not fun. Thanks for balancing that by sharing the photos. We’re back to wintry weather after several beautiful days. But it could be worse–there are places between Colorado and the Dakotas that are supposed to get one to two FEET of snow tonight. Yikes!!

    janet

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  27. Look at all your little friends, Dan. Isn’t it great to see them showing up to welcome lazy Spring? Sorry about your know it all intruder. I hate when someone invades my sacred time with so much BS. Gotta pity his wife more though. It never ends for her. I’m glad you got your repairs done. That was awful after all your hard work. And very nice raindrop photo too! It’s good to see the thaw fonally reached you guys but hubby just informed me our kids up in the midwest may be looking at a freak snowstorm coming up. 😱

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  28. You probably thanked heaven that you had a take out order:):) There are always a few of those around. If it gets really bad, can’t help I like to irritate these kind of people with saying that he/she is wrong. And hubby helps me with that to chime with an off the wall comment, that he does not agree with the guy/gal nor with me:):)

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  30. Wow – you are just that enough further south that you actually have real signs of spring already. We still don’t have any signs of buds. Soon though, I hope.

    Sadly, it seems that know-it-alls are everywhere. People in the service industry are saints.

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    • I’m sorry that winter is hanging on for you, Joanne. I think spring is clearly in control here. I hope it weaves its way up to you soon.

      The know-it-alls do seem to be everywhere. I see them at technical events all the time. The ones that bother me are the ones that act up in the audience, but never submit a presentation of their own that would put them on stage.

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  31. In the words of my sister, “If you think something’s not right, you’re probably right.” Instinct is a good thing. What a bummer about the boards. Thank goodness they weren’t damaged. And the guy at the bar, Mr. Smarty Pants, what a piece of work. Maybe he was a radio sports announcer / foodie. 🙂

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  32. Speaking of the baseball games, have you heard of cricket (game)? I mean if baseball is for the USA, football is for Brazil then cricket is for India. Also, what would you prefer of the two: play baseball or watch baseball? I mean suppose that you are fit to play then would you still watch it or play it.

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    • I have heard of cricket. I had a friend (coworker) from St. Lucia who played. There are local groups around here who play in parks in the summer – there are even small leagues. I’d rather watch baseball. I grew up watching older kids and young men’s teams play in our neighborhood park.

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      • I love cricket, but I rather play it than watch it. India is currently the leading cricket team in the world. In fact, Cricket, Bollywood and Religion form 99% of the news and conversation that happens on TV and newspapers. Pick any Indian millionaire and he or she will either be a cricket player, or in a movie business or a priest/politician. By the way, I prefer to play the game than watch it. I used to play for my school team and I was a bowler (equivalent to pitcher in baseball). Sadly, I couldn’t lead my team to victory, but we managed to get into quarter-finals. For that, you need to beat 10-12 school teams in the city.

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  37. Don’t you just love those who know better than anyone else? I guess variety is the spice of life. It takes all kinds of people – some delightful and some annoying. 😏

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