Dan Antion

Bad Timing in the Drive-Thru – #1LinerWeds

The flag at Veterans Park was flying proud on Memorial Day.

Unlike people who have completed the switch to credit cards and payment apps, some of us still carry a little cash, and many of us are a little obsessive about the denomination and storage of cash in our wallets. I like a mix of notes, and I like all the presidents to be upright and facing the same way.

Last Friday, I stopped at McDonald’s for a breakfast biscuit sandwich and the hunk of potato they smush together and call a hash brown. The woman taking my order told me the total cost would be $5.62. I checked my wallet and saw that I had six $1 bills. That would pay for the meal but leave me without any singles. I had a $10 bill, but that would leave me with a fat wallet after adding four more singles to the front. Yes, singles in front, followed by fives, tens and the occasional twenty – I don’t need much cash.

Fortunately, I had plenty of time to figure this out. There was only one window open, and there were six cars in front of me. Surely, I had 62 cents in the car. After finding two quarters, a dime and two pennies (this is why we learned to count), I was all set. When I got to the window, the woman repeated “five sixty-two” and I handed her my ten-dollar bill and coins. Then I heard the awful news:

“Can somebody bring me some fives? I’m all out of fives.”

She handed me my food and five more one-dollar bills – oh the humanity.

This tragedy is part of Linda G. Hill’s fun weekly series One-Liner Wednesday. If you have a one-liner, I’d encourage you to join in on the fun. You can follow this link to participate and to see the one-liners from the other participants.

I’ve lined up a few of the usual suspects in the gallery.

Boat dock – still waiting to be installed.
The water is almost down to the lever where they can install the boat dock.
That’s the “grassy area” and the curb at the boat dock. Some clean-up is still required, from the flooding.
Rhododendron bud.
Rhododendron. Not sure what the spots are. We though this one was dead.
The Korean Dogwoods are starting to bloom.
Our resident bunny is eating amidst the dogwood blossoms.
Bunny – not very big, but getting bigger.
That’s a Jinx wanna-be.
One of our neighbors has some serious Rhododendrons
The flag at Veterans Park was flying proud on Memorial Day.
Maddie after her walk.
“Maddie, I’m trying to get a picture of our shadows.” “Yeah, but people want to see me.”
“Please go away – I am sleeping!”
That’s all MiMi. She’s trying hard not to wake up.
I never understand how MiMi positions her legs.
Hi MuMu – Yes, I’ve come to brush you…as requested.
One of MiMi’s window shelves.

99 comments

  1. I’m the same way with my cash, lined up by denomination and facing forward. Of course my dishes are lined up by stripe in the cupboard too so I’m probably a little weird that way.
    Our Rhodies have those awful spots as well this year, though ours aren’t blooming yet.

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  2. Too funny, Dan. If someone asks why you have all those dollar bills, just tell them you were working the park…umm, I mean walking the park…with Maddie.

    My dad kept a similar wallet. He called it “the blind man’s” wallet. Everything in order, by denomination. Mom and dad had a credit card, but never a debit card, so cash was a must for them. I am somewhere in between dad’s wallet and chaos – trying to keep the little bit of cash in order, but it usually ends up folded and the five’s or ten’s somewhere in the middle of the singles. No matter, though, as long as I have some change for the parking meters and a few dollars for a chai latte at the coffee shop.

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  4. Does Mc Donalds still take cash? ;) My hubby is the same as you, Dan. His bills are always perfectly arranged and he spends the older, crumpled ones first, to keep the newer, crisp ones in his wallet.

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    • It’s funny, Laurie. I use the app at Dunkin Donuts, but I still use cash at McD’s. I do tend to put those crumpled ones in front so they get used first. Anything to keep the wallet thinner – well, anything except not carrying any cash.

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  5. I’m still a cash carrier and pay cash for purchases of about five dollars or less. Having worked in several small businesses, I know that fees for card usage can cut into profits. The tea shop had a policy of cash only for purchases of $10 or less and where I work now, it’s $5 or less. And I don’t have a pay-by-phone app, either. What a dinosaur I am! 😉

    Weather here: rain, rain, and rain.

    janet

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    • Thanks Janet. I prefer cash for small purchaes, except coffee. I do use the DD app for that. Having worked behind a counter (bowling alley) I want to have cash for small purchases and I want to have an appropriate denomination. I don’t want to give someone a $20 bill for a $2 purchase unless I have to.

      We seem to be having rain until Saturday. I hope you dry out soon.

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      • We have an amazing amount of people who come in to pay for things with a $100 bill. Too often, they want to pay for a purchase that’s $20 or under, and we just don’t have the change to deal with that. I feel that’s rather rude. I know they didn’t get those at the bank unless they asked for them, so it would be polite to offer us a bill close to the amount of their total.

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        • In my neck of the woods (SE Texas) it’s not uncommon to see signs in fast food places, especially at the drive-thru, that they won’t accept any bills larger than a $50 and a very few say nothing larger than a $20. It wasn’t always that way. Some time in the last 15 or so years, there was a rash of counterfeit $100 bills being passed.

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  6. Or even worse … when they don’t have small bills and dump a pile of change on you!

    I like an orderly wallet but it doesn’t stay that way for long. The advantage we have of course is that our money is coloured so just a quick glance tells us what’s in there 😉 I struggle with your mono-coloured currency.

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  8. This is too funny. The dreaded one dollar bills. My husband and I keep the money in our wallets the same….in order of denomination and heads up, facing the same direction.

    The pic of Maddie on the couch with you is one of the best yet! And she’s right Dan, her shadow is great, but we want to see HER!! I think MiMi was a contortionist in another life….and good to see MuMu isn’t letting you neglect her grooming!!

    Your resident bunny is adorable. We have several. They come in all sizes and leave many gifts in neat piles all around the yard. 🙄 Sigh…… But they are fun to watch when they’re playing “tag” in the yard!

    Your rhododendron is beautiful as are those of your neighbors. I’ve never seen a Korean Dogwood. It too is very pretty.
    🐾Ginger 🐾

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    • It’s good to know others are still using cash, Ginger and storing it properly.

      Maddie goes from being an absolute jerk, running around, tossing toys here and there to being a cuddle bug, and she shifts gears in 5-seconds flat. MiMi is our little acrobat. I often grab one of her paws and ask her to identify it. She’s not amused, but she’s just so cute, I can’t resist. MuMu, is NEVER amused.

      I have to snag some of The Editor’s pictures of the bunny. The thing is so little, but it’s almost twice the size it was when she first got a shot of it.

      The squirrels want the Korean Dogwoods to get much taller, so they can just set up camp in our back yard. They are pretty, but slow growing.

      I hope you’re having a great week, thanks for stopping here.

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  10. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I keep a spot for change in my car *just* for this reason. All I can say is it was very kind of you not to say “I’ll wait for those fives to come, thanks.” 😆

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  11. Hi Dan – I’ve kept my notes separate from when I used a wallet … but when I must have left my wallet in London one day and it wasn’t returned/found and at that stage was so grateful most of my ‘stuff’ was elsewhere in my bag … cards, extra notes are floating in my bag … nothing is lined up! I have and keep change now ready for all those times one needs it … and on Saturdays for my local shop and paper purchase … cheers Hilary

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    • It’s good that I’m not carrying a pocketbook, Hilary, I’d never find anything. I do like having enough cash for the small purchases. Too bad about your wallet :(

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  13. I had to laugh at the bad news part. It’s funny, especially after you went through all that mental calculations and even left to go get the coins. My credit card is blocked by the bank by default. They say it is a security feature; If I want to use it to make a purchase, I have to inform the bank beforehand and give them the period I intend to have the card unblocked. Afterwards they block it again, which means I can’t use it for emergency payments or for impulse buying. I haven’t found a reason to complain about the regulation yet. So I carry cash but only a few bills at a time. Fear of being mugged is one of the reasons, although I heard that the thugs in Nairobi will kill you if they find you with no money or with a cheap cell phone or with nothing valuable on you. I once knew a girl who they beat up and let her go with a stern warning to go buy a better phone. Anyway, I arrange my bills the same way you do, neatly from the largest at the back to the smallest at the front. I’m obsessed with the new ones. I once kept a wad of new ones I didn’t want to use, but I eventually did. I was sad. Sometimes I have to reject an old one and demand a newer one. Nobody seems to understand this obsession. My colleague says old notes are more trustworthy than new ones since they have been around and you don’t have to worry about their genuinity. I believe him but I still love my notes new.

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    • Yikes, Peter – those are some seriously nasty thugs.

      I like having new notes, but I will often stick an old one between them because they tend to stick together. I actually like that security feature, but it would be good if you could activate it a little easier.

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  14. Too funny, Dan. I keep my wallet the same way, and it does tend to get overloaded with singles. I don’t keep loose change in my car because I’ve known people whose cars were broken into simply because change was visible in the cup holder. I mostly use cash for drive-throughs and very small purchases, and use credit cards for everything else – which cards get paid off every month (having learned my lesson the hard way). I admit, however, that I get annoyed when I’m behind someone at the drive-through who is using a credit card, especially if it’s one that must be signed for. It seems to take forever to pass that card and paperwork between the cashier and the customer.

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    • Thanks CM. McD’s is about the only Drive-Thru I use, and I like to have cash, so I’m not “that guy” in front of you. I have some change in the armrest. You can’t see it from either window. If I leave it in the cup holder, my wife will take it so no one will break in. Sort of a preemptive strike, but at least she uses a key to get in.

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  17. My wallet always starts out with good intentions but, before too long, it’s a jumble again. It’s also small so too many singles and/of too much change throws it all out of whack. I remember once buying something for six dollars and change. I gave the cashier a ten, a one, and the exact change (I wanted a five back… definitely no singles). She kept trying to give me back the one saying that I gave her too much. Sigh.

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  18. I’m with you on the ones. Always like to avoid them if possible. As you can see I have not “liked” you post because I can not like on WP posts. I just had a new OS installed on my MAC and also have to hit the WP icon before leaving a comment. I remember you had the same problem. I already unchecked the cross blocking box in Safari and that doesn’t work. Any suggestions?

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  19. 🤣I’m sorry. 😳 At least she didn’t look at you like you just handed her foreign currency to change. I have had people totally not get how to change what you gave her. Fortunately a very patient man explained it to me when I was 16 at my first job ever. At McDonalds. Back then you had to do all the math in your head. No buttons hot punched but the total you were shoving into that drawer. 🤭

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  20. DOH! Murphy’s Law in action I suppose. Since my eyesight isn’t what it once was I’ve been putting my bills in order presidents facing me, starting with the ones, larger bills following too. I rarely have any change in my car. I usually dump it in my purse then empty the change into a jar. Which reminds me I need to start rolling coins. The jar is getting heavy.

    Maddie is right, but your shadow selfie is cool! The Rhodies are gorgeous!

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  21. Haha! Dan, we must be related… LOL. I’m particular with how cash is arranged in my wallet too. In my teens I had a job at a little store. The owner was downright militant about how the bills were arranged in the registers. They had to be face up all pointing in the same direction. He insisted that we were less likely to give a customer the wrong change that way. He also demanded that we count back the change — to the penny, one coin at a time even though the impatient customers hated that. :o)
    I got a huge kick out of the photo gallery today. MiMi looks quite fetching framed by her lace curtain. You slayed me with “Jinx wanna-be”! ANd that one with the shadows, I need to find a way to get that into the serial.
    Hugs on the wing!

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    • Thanks Teagan. I had the same boss – my father 🙂 The bills were all in order and change was counted back. AND, you never put the customer’s bill in the register before giving them their change (do they couldn’t say ‘I gave you a twenty’).

      MiMi sits in that window to watch me work. I’m still trying to get a picture of our big crows.

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  23. I thought for sure, you were going to say she couldn’t calculate the change. And, the comments are almost as good as the post. What a hoot. I keep my cash lined up just like you do too. I’m sure there is a message here based upon all the comments. :-) I tried to pay for postage at the post office one day that came to less than a dollar. He looked at me like I as crazy and asked why I didn’t just pay with a card. I jokingly said I could go home and get my checkbook to which he looked at me again and said ‘you still have a stone tablet’? :-)

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  24. Great one-liner, followed by a fun discussion! I’m not as diligent as many it seems, though my husband is a match for the best. His wallet is always perfect.

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  25. LOL – I’m the same way with my cash in my wallet (when I have some…). Bummer about the extra ones – you can use them to tip at the bar on Saturday!? Lovely flower photos and that bunny is so cute – does it have friends? ;-)

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    • Thanks Shelley. We seem to be the nursery for the bunnies. We get the babies. The larger bunnies are roaming the neighborhood. We’ve seen them, but not in our yard this year. The extra ones can go to coffee at work. We pay 50¢ a cup – those singles won’t last long.

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  26. Oh snap! Bad luck! I do just about anything to keep from carrying change. I’ve got a stash in my car, a dish in my house, and when all else fails – I give it to the kids!
    You know the machines don’t need them properly faced anymore, so no one else seems to, either, but I need them properly faced. It’s like, PROPER!
    I do tend to have cash.

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    • I know the machines don’t care, but I do, it’s my wallet, my rules. Plus, I still shop at some local stores where the owners are as old as me. If the bills are not faced they give me that look and then rearrange them.

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  27. I don’t carry much cash but when I do I too must have all the presidents upright and facing the same way. And singles first is a given! Oh the humanity!!! This is a keeper of a post. I needed a laugh today :)

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  31. My husband does not carry money in his wallet. Too ‘fiddly’ for him. He carries his money folded, with the larger bills in the center so it looks like a bundle of ones.

    I have the worst organized purse and wallet in the world. Women’s wallets are either too big or too small. I am a bill stuffer. I can usually find money somewhere in a pinch.

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    • My dad carried a wallet and a money clip. I will inevitably forget one of those if I try separating the cash from the wallet. I will sometimes keep cash in my pocket, but only if I’m somewhere like a Fair, where I am going to be spending cash often.

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  32. Thrilled to know there are others like me out there. I must have the faces up, ones, fives, tens, twenties. I must unfold the little creases in the corners, too. I worked as a cashier in Colonial Williamsburg as a teen and this is how I was taught. Old lessons….

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  34. I thought the story was really funny, especially because I’m not that over-the-top. 🙂 A great mix of photos, Dan. I love the flag and the flowers, and of course Maddie, 🙂

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  36. Dan, I am the solution to your currency crisis. I’m not always able to offer such a stellar solution to the problems of others. However, in this instance the answer is clear. You need to move to Australia. I know Uncle Sam is held up as having the best of everything. However, when it comes down to banknotes, Australia is a step ahead and has colour-coded them for us. Perhaps, that’s because we’re all too daft or impatient to work it out but I couldn’t imagine trying to juggle all those notes looking exactly the same. BTW I had to quiz my husband about this as I’ve never been to America and he was there for three months about 20 years ago. he said you do need to be a lot more methodical. Here’s a link through to the Aussie dollar notes: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banknotes_of_the_Australian_dollar
    On a personal note, my handling of cash is very chaotic on the surface of it. My fine motor skills often struggling to juggle change at the checkout and there’s usually a docket to deal with as well so I often end up putting the change notes, coins, dockets the works in a zipped up pocket on the front of my handbag. Sometimes, I get back to it and put it away. However, it can be quite a relief at the end of the pay week. Phew. I’ve also been saved on multiple occasions by a few gold coins falling out of my wallet and collecting at the bottom of my bag. Indeed, I usually leave a few there just in case.
    This all goes to suggest that my roots go back to a hunter scavenger, not your conventional hunter gatherer.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

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    • Thanks Rowena. Our mono-tone-cut-from-the-same-die currency is a bit awkward to deal with. The machines like it, but it gets harder and harder to deal with, as the people on the receiving end seem to have never taken a math course. Apologies if you guys adopted the “maths” view of that field of study.

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  37. Somebody told me you have to put the presidents in denomination order, all heads-up and facing forward, or they get carsick. So that’s how I do them. Nothing worse than prez barf all over the inside of your wallet.

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  39. This post was my first visit to your page, via a comment on another page (but don’t aske me which one, I’ve already forgotten). I think it’s safe to say you have gained another follower. I need to get back to blogging again myself.

    It was fun reading all of the comments and realizing I’m not the only one who is a little OCD about the cash in their wallet.

    My first retail job, sooo many years ago, I was taught to always put the bills in the drawer face up, right-hand edge facing the back of the register. Then some years later I became a volunteer to go with visiting blind people from a local school to help them with their shopping. That last left me with a couple of idiosyncrasies, one of them being how I keep the currency in my wallet. I developed the habit of keeping a “blind man’s wallet” – except for the folded corners and folded bills – and all of my bills are head up, facing forward and in denomination order from the largest bill (a $20 usually; I think I’ve forgotten what a $50 or $100 looks like) backwards to the ones. And yes, I do try to use the older bills bills first. Somehow, over all these years, however, I’ve never spent a $2 bill. When I got them in change they were always new and I’ve kept an envelope tucked away for 30+ years with seven (now eight) crisp, [mostly] uncirculated $2 bills.

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    • Thanks Barb. I am so sorry to be replying so late, but this was caught in my spam folder. I, too, spent some time behind a counter, and I was taught to have all those presidents in the drawer, facing up and looking in the right direction. I like the bit about the $2 bills. I think I have a few of those (and a couple dollar coins) laying around.

      I look forward to reading at your place, if you decide to start blogging again. I find it hard to resist people that dabble in “hodgepodge” – thanks again!

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