Stupid Stuff & Skippy – #SoCS #JusJoJan

It’s time for Linda G. Hill’s double-stuff Saturday, where Stream of Consciousness Saturday meets Just Jot January and we’re left with:

“Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: ‘last call.’ Talk about the enterprise (sales or service) conducted by the last phone call you received from a business you’re not associated with (i.e. your workplace), or talk about that phone conversation itself. Have fun!”


If we were having a beer you’d be in a mood and it would be getting worse.

“Head’s up, Dan, I’m in a bad mood. I was almost in an accident on the way here. Since when did ‘left-on-red’ become a thing in Connecticut?”

“Left on red, straight on red, I’ve even seen U-turns on red. It’s the invasion of the special people, David.”

“Speaking of special people, my two favorite seniors have arrived.”

“Hello…Skippy.”

“Hi, David. No need to pretend you’re happy to see me.”

“I’m happier seeing you behind the bar than behind the wheel.”

“I didn’t drive here, David. I took the train from Hartford then Uber’d here.”

“You take the train, Brad?”

“I do, Dan. Is that a problem?”

“No, it’s a wonderful thing. I love trains.”

“You know what would be a wonderful thing to take? Our order. Can we get on with this?”

“Sorry, Brad. David has been having a bad day.”

“Actually, I’ve been having a bad week, and I could use a glass of John Howell’s bourbon with all the fixin’s, as it were.”

“That’s a curious expression. Is that how people used to talk?”

“Wha…”

“…Brad, how about you get David his bourbon, ice, seltzer, and bring me a Corona with a lime. We’ll leave the etymology lesson for another time?”

“OK. You want that Corona in a glass?”

“Did you wash them or did Cheryl?”

“I did.”

“Corona is better in a bottle, anyway.”

“No problem.”

“Why did you cut me off?”

“David. He’s harmless.”

“I know, but ‘how people used to talk?’ It’s not like I asked for giggle water.”

“Here’s the bourbon and the beer. I’ll be back with the rest.”

“Thanks Brad.”

“No problem.”

“Sigh…cheers Dan.”

“Cheers David. Now what has you all spun up this week?”

“Stupid things.”

“As in little things that shouldn’t really bother anyone?”

“No, as in things that are stupid.”

“I’m going to drop these and run before I get added to that collection. One snifter of seltzer, one glass of ice, and two cherries.”

“Thanks Ski…Brad. The cherries go in the bourbon, but I appreciate the gesture.”

“I thought putting them in the seltzer was better than carrying them.”

“That’s actually comforting.”

“So, David, what ‘stupid’ things are you talking about?”

“First, I spend forty-five minutes on hold with my health insurance company, all because they didn’t read the information I sent in with my claim.”

“That is stupid, but par for the course.”

“Then, as I was waiting on hold, I read the news and discovered that they killed Mr. Peanut!

“Oh, yeah. I saw that. That is stupid. I’m guessing they’ll bring him back.”

“And what, we’ll find him standing in the shower like Bobby?”

“I think it’s just a prank ad for the Super Bowl.”

“Ads in general a getting stupid.”

“And annoying.”

“Annoying? It’s odd to hear you say that, Dan. You’re usually so easy going. What ad annoys you?”

“Some pizza ad, I think it’s Domino’s. This do-it-all mom is serving pizza to a picnic table full of kids, and one little girl snarks ‘I don’t do gluten,’ and the mom smiles and hands her a gluten-free slice.”

“I saw that. It’s sad that some folks are gluten-intolerant, but I wanted to slug that kid – show some respect!”

“Exactly.”

“You guys want anything to eat? Need another round?”

“Yes and yes, Brad. Another round and an order of ten wings.”

“Ranch or Blue Cheese.”

“Blue Cheese and, if you don’t mind, Dan would like Parmesan Peppercorn.”

“And you two complain about special people?”

“Not demanding, Brad. Asking nicely. That makes a difference.”

“I get it. I just don’t always have time to be polite.”

“That’s when you become Skippy.”

“I get that, too. Doesn’t matter.”

“Dan, I swear…this guy…”

“David, give him a break. He brought you your cherries, he gave me two small slices of lime.”

“He did get the drinks right. I guess that’s what matters.”

“It is. I think you should give him a nice tip, today.”

“Oh, I intend to, but I’m going to have some fun doing it.”

“How’s that?”

“I’m going to wait until he’s already rung us up, and I’m going to pay him in cash. Let’s see if Skippy can make change.”

“You have a nasty streak.”

“Here you go guys. Anything else?”

“No, Brad. You can wrap this up.”

“No problem.”

“Since you’re paying, David, you can choose.”

“Huh? Choose what, Dan?”

“We each get five wings; do you want three drums or three flats?”

“Drums, of course.”

“That’s cool. I like the flats.”

“Here’s the bill, who’s paying, or do you want to split this across two cards?”

“This is on me, Brad, here you go.”

Sigh…

“Cash? How quaint. I remember my parents telling me about this. It’s more than I need, though.”

“I’m sorry, is that a problem?”

“Nope, I have an app for this. Let’s see, your bill is thirty-seven-nineteen <tappity tap tap>. You gave me a twenty <tap>, two tens <tap tap>, a five <tap> and a one <tap> – that’s forty-six dollars. It says I owe you eight dollars and eighty-one cents.”

Sad that we need this

“Do you have an app for that?”

“Of course I do. One five, three ones, three quarters, a nickel and a penny.”

“You know what? Keep the change, Skippy, keep – the – change.”

 

Cheryl has the day off, but you can see her latest post over at her new place.


74 thoughts on “Stupid Stuff & Skippy – #SoCS #JusJoJan

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  1. I really like the stone bridge – great shot. I’m glad Maddie has had a little time sitting in the sun. That is always good. :-) I’ve seen that Mr. Peanut teaser, then again peanuts have been dead for 12 1/2 years in our family since our grandson was diagnosed with peanut/tree nut food allergies. Thank you for showing those apps because I had a really good chuckle. I think I need to write them down for the next time I get the deer in the headlight look from someone when I hand them cash. :-) I must admit I use a card 99% of the time to pay for something as does most of the folks I hang with down here. However, we were out to lunch with a group one day, and one lady paid with cash from a good sized roll. We asked her about it, and she said she doesn’t use a card for anything that is consumed before the billing date on the card. I have to admit, it certainly was food for thought and resulted in an interesting conversation. :-)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Judy. No sitting today. We might get out for a walk before the rain slams us. I do like that bridge. I’m gld you like the pictures.

      I like that woman’s approach. Early on, I would only use AMEX for food. Since it had to be paid in full each month, there was no danger of carrying a balance for something I ate. Still, using cash is a rare sight these days. I wasn’t surprised that these apps existed. The first is a phone app. The one that tells you which bills and coins to use is a web page.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Water, trees, bridge … all ingredients for a perfect scene. Great photo of your favourite bridge, Dan.

    It seems there is an app for everything now. Making change is such basic arithmetic, I shake my head whenever I see someone struggle with the concept.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Worse, is when people who can do it in their head have no option on a cash register to just enter the amount and move on. Dumbing things down is one thing. Forcing us all to the lowest level is sad.

      I’m glad you like the pictures of that bridges – thanks!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Pam. Unfortunately, there is a lot of source material to help me get Skippy right. The stone bridge is a remarkable engineering feat. Built by hand, before apps and computers and built so well, it has carried trains for over 150 years. Trains keep getting longer and heavier and none of it bothers the bridge.

      Like

  3. Just when I wanna slap Skippy, David’s nasty streak comes through and makes me smile. Then the ending….nope, gotta slap Skippy. Come down South, buddy. We’ll give you drinks and all the fixin’s you could possibly ask for!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It was good to see Skippy back, but of course we miss Cheryl. There is absolutely an app for just about everything.

    I love the photo of the leaf in the snow. It has been an unusually warm winter here. No snow or ice yet. I saw my first frost on the fields when I drove to see my grandkids on Wednesday.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Maggie. The hard part about Skippy, is giving Cheryl the day off. However, I’m pretty sure Cheryl can do math in her head, so I had to put Skippy behind the bar. We haven’t had much snow this month. I’m sure our day will come, probably the day I have to drive somewhere.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. The dumbing down of society. It used to be the elitists having someONE do everything for them. Now it is the masses having someTHINGS do everything for them. I feel the sting of sarcasm every time I ask for a paper receipt. I want it. No one can push a button and make it disappear or argue with me that it never existed and unless they produce the Elderwand they cannot make it vanish. They will someday have to pry it from my cold, dead fingers. Skippy is a lucky guy to have you as a customer, Dan. I am most fortunate to be working with a group of young women who know what respect means. I like to think we can learn from each other. Commercials? Most I can’t follow and they are too lame to make a true commentary. Like bad jokes. And it seems the idea of truly promoting a product gets lost in the idea of making snarky jokes, mostly aimed at dumb, pandering ‘grownups’. It’s getting scary out there.
    Your photos are so beautiful. Look at Maddie, all sunbathing, 😉 We went out last night and I was shivering in the 60 degree damp sea breeze. It’s all relative isn’t it? Happy Saturday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We are being brought down to a level we don’t need, Cheryl. My friend and I were often asked at work, “did you do that in your head?” When what we had done was simple math. I had to give you the day off – I knew better than to suggest that you had this app ;-)

      Maybe someday, you can throw a mini-tantrum when they replace the cash register with one that has pictures of beer bottles, lime slices and cherries. I’m sure the day is coming.

      My latest rebellion is to go to the counter and order in places that want me to stand off to the side and enter my order at a kiosk. I know the day is coming when there won’t be a person behind the counter – or behind the bar. At the Consumer Electronics Show, they demonstrated a robotic bartender – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Kqquo4nyzs – Note: Remove things you can throw before watching that video.

      PS, I revised this to add the link to you recent post – that was beautiful.

      Like

  6. It’s very sad that so many people can’t make change if the cash register doesn’t tell them what it is. And have you also noticed that NO ONE counts your change back to you? They just shove it all in your hand with the sales receipt!

    I think we can all relate to today’s conversation. I’m glad you introduced Skippy to us because no matter where we live, we all know him!!

    I guess MiMi was glad that you didn’t have a bright light in her face! Don’t guess Maddie will be sitting outside today with the rain that’s coming. Good day to curl up on the couch with dad!

    Love that stone arch railroad bridge. All these photos look like it could be end of winter. How I wish that were true!!
    🐾Ginger 🐾

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Ginger. The sad things is that we all know Skippy, but the Cheryls are getting harder and harder to find. I recently paid for admission, and the older (my age) attendant didn’t have any singles. I had given her a ten. I added a few singes so she could give me a five as change. She smiled, thanked me and handed me a five. It was so easy, but it would make some peoples’ head explode.

      MiMi wasn’t happy with me at all. I ended up turning the overhead lights on (so I could see what I was doing). Maddie thoroughly enjoyed sitting in the sun. I’m going to try to get her out for a walk before the rain starts.

      It does look like spring is just around the corner. I’m sure we haven’t seen the last of the snow.

      I hope you have a great weekend!

      Like

  7. The leaf in the snow and the arched bridge are my favorite photos (apart from the critters, of course!). #4 daughter refused to use a calculator to do math until they forced her to in school. She said, “What if I don’t have a calculator and I need to do math? Wouldn’t it be better if I could do it without one?” What a weird kid!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Seriously weird child, Marian. Cash is headed for the dustbin, and those of us who knew how to spend it and make change will be laughed about in “old” movies.

      I’m glad you like the leaf (and the bridge). I realized that leaf must have just decided to fall.

      Like

  8. The first thing that popped into my head was “Stupid is as stupid does” but I’m not entirely sure what that saying means! LOL

    So, instead, I shall say, Cheers to the beers and hope you have an enjoyable weekend, Dan!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Maggie. Skippy has his fans, and I would dare give Cheryl the change-making app – I think she’d slug me. I will happily use my brain for things until it no longer works. Reading, writing, making change – I can do these things.

      I hope you have a great weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Dan – you are going to have give David some much needed advice. It is one thing to have a bad day or week. And it does truly improve the quality of ones drinking time. However once one gets there to said drinking time it is also important to chill and just give the ‘said a give’ time to work. If one stays too tightly wound it can actually ruin the quality of the whole moment… It can even ruin the taste of the drinks, cherries or not. very nice pics and a park.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad I could make you laugh, John. This was inspired by a friend who had to replace the cash register at the store on his dairy farm. The new one has pictures of everything. Previously, he would just look at what you were buying, and do the math in his head. Now he has to push the Icon buttons and it’s driving him crazy.

      I’m sure Mr. Peanut will be back, but I think it’s a stupid ad. The ads that make children appear to be in charge, and show children mocking, making fun of and belittling the adults in the room cause me to take products off my shopping list.

      Liked by 2 people

  10. Making change and carrying cash seem to be going the way of cursive writing and telling time on an analog clock, Dan. I remember when I was growing up that I thought it was cool and quaint to carry a pocket watch–now it is unusual to see a person with a wrist watch.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So true, Mike. I still wear a watch, and I still carry cash, although fewer and fewer places seem to want me to use it. I had a pocket watch for many years. Maybe Apple will come out with an Apple Pocket Watch.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Horsefeathers! I can relate to “David’s” bad week. I finally had a melt down last evening… Thanks for helping turn it around with your link to my post about “Speak Flapper”, my new book. Dan, the gallery is absolutely gorgeous today. Just wow. Happy weekend hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Teagan. “Giggle water” showed up in a dialog by a Facebook friend as he was commenting on some old New York photos. Between your comment last week, and his this week, I knew I had to include it.

      I hope you’re completely turned around now, and ready to have a great weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Aha – I had no idea of the connection between Mr. Peanut’s death and the shower scene in Dallas. It’s been such a long time. Course I hadn’t put much thought into it but with Super Bowl coming up I suppose we’ll see a combo of “thought provoking” and stupid stuff commercials!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. It’s good of you to try to educate Skippy and nudge him into Brad. I believe you’re planting seeds of potential enlightenment. I can understand why that’s your favorite bridge. I bet it’s got some interesting history. I was imagining gliding under it in a kayak, but walking under it would be fun, too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve been under that bridge in a canoe, and the southern most arch goes over the road, so you can walk under it. Our daughter and a friend may have, ahem, accidentally walked over it.

      The town’s historical society had a birthday party for it last year, on its 150th. That post is out here somewhere.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Bridge is lovely.
    I said fixns today. I frequently do. Also fixin to. Ahem. Also, giggle water made me LOL!
    I can’t get over young people dealing with money. Sometimes it weirds me out, to be honest. Moo has done a lot of volunteer work and as a part of that, cash handling, so she’s the only kid that doesn’t creep me out. Apparently, she can face, count, and change monies like a proper old person.
    I don’t see much tv with commercials. Now I have to Google Mr Peanut. (and other things I never thought I’d type.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yay Moo. She seems more incredible every week. Faith was a cashier for years while in school, before everything was 100% plastic, so I think she can handle money. She rarely used cash these days. They better find a way to fix Mr Peanut.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. What a great bar banter this week, Dan. “And that’s when you become Skippy.” I’m still laughing! It’s sad that people cannot make change. Hmm..I haven’t used coins recently in my classroom to do math. Thanks for the ‘reminder’. Love the stone bridge!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you liked this one, Jennie. I had fun writing it. The thing I think is beneficial about making and counting change is that it helps us get comfortable doing math in our heads. So many people can’t do even basic math without a calculator. It’s sad. We are much smarted than we allow ourselves to be.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Coins also add that hands-on math component which many kids need in order to learn math. Even teenagers can benefit from counting and dividing money. We rely too much on apps and calculators. And yes, we smarter than that.

        Liked by 1 person

  16. That bridge is lovely! 40 degrees still feels cold to me, but it looks nice and sunny for sitting…I’d be bundled up though Maddie is coatless.

    There’s an app for just about everything these days. Too bad the one from making change is needed though.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Deborah. This time of year, 40 feels good here. Maddie’s deck (as we refer to the porch on my workshop) gets pretty warm in the sun. The Trex warms up pretty quickly. When we take her out, she will drag us over and point out the fact that it’s sunny and warm.

      It’s sad that most retail establishments need to have the find-a-picture-press-a-button style cash registers.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. I’m pretty late to the bar, Dan. Saturday got away from me, and then Sunday. Where does the time go? Anyhow a few things: 1) It’s always fun (or not) at the bar when Skippy is there. 2) Pretty winter photos and thanks for not disturbing MiMi. 3) Mr. Peanut…so sad. I’ll say a prayer for him.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Mary. I completely understand about time slipping away. I don’t know how it happens, but it does. It’s always interesting when Skippy is working, but I’m glad he’s not the regular bartender. Our winter scenery is gone :( 40 degrees and rain yesterday took care of most of the snow. Mr Peanut? That is sad, and it might be because they want a younger looking mascot. That would be even sadder.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. They should have buried the reincarnations for Colonel Sanders before they buried a cute little peanut. Anyhow, we had three days of continuous light snow, but its been warm. So the snow hung to the trees in the morning and was slush by the afternoon. I’m hoping for sun tomorrow to help get Monday off to a great start.

        Thankfully, I did have time to finish up three separate posts for this week while dying the grays. WooHoo! It’s a miracle of late when that happens!

        Liked by 1 person

  18. I almost experienced the “drive straight into my driver’s side door on red” guy today. If I’d been a bit more lead foot coming off the stop line I’d have spent my afternoon in the ER. Sheesh!!

    Liked by 1 person

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