Last week, we received a warning flier in the mail. “You’re TV Equipment is Outdated!” I’ve been getting emails about this for several months. I don’t really care. I switched to Hulu and YouTube TV over a year ago. This mailing called attention to a series of events over the next 90 days, where I will “lose 50 channels” and then, 60 days later I’ll lose 150 more channels. Finally, in 150 days (or perhaps a 150 more days) my box will stop working.
We only get 25 channels from our cable company.
Fortunately, I was able to take my cable box to the cable company store to exchange it. While standing in line, I listened to various clerks ask customers if they wanted a “free bill analysis.” Customers agreed and were inevitably told how they could either save money or get more value for the money they were spending. Of course, the solution in either case was to get more stuff tacked onto their account. Buy more stuff and save. You know, make it up on volume.
Dreading the moment, I approached the counter when is was my turn. I turned in my old cable box. The clerk called up our account, with its anemic collection of basic stations and a more than generous Internet access package. The man looked at me and said:
“Would you like me to skip the complimentary analysis of your bill?”
This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s fun weekly series One-Liner Wednesday. And, given the time of the year, it’s also part of Just-Jot-January. If you have a one-liner, I’d encourage you to join in on the fun. You can follow this link to participate and to see the one-liners from the other participants.