Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and Linda G. Hill shared her love with us in the form of her Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt:
“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is ‘cheek.’ Use it as a noun or a verb. Enjoy!” (1 see note below)
I did a little research, ok, I opened an online dictionary, and the first definition I found made me think of Skippy’s namesake, so…
If we were having a beer, my phone is distracting you.
“Do you have to take that, Dan?”
“What?”
“Your phone just buzzed.”
“That sounds like an email. I only look at texts from family.”
“Are you sure it’s not from family?”
“Sheesh, I’ll look. It’s from the Urgent Care Center…happy?”
“What do they want?”
“I’m sure I don’t care, it’s only urgent when I go to them.”
“I thought it might be test results or something.”
“Ah, the representatives of the senior circuit have arrived.”
“Hello, Skippy.”
“Hi David. You guys OK? I overheard your test results comment.”
“We’re fine, Brad. David is urging me to read a marketing email from the urgent care center.”
“Guys your age talk about that stuff a lot. You want something to wash it down with?”
“Guys our age? A bit cheeky, wouldn’t you say, Dan.”
“Cheeky? What does that mean?”
“You’ll have to look that one up, Brad. I think we’ll be having our usual.”
“Um, Skippy.”
“Yes, David.”
“I’m just curious, does this job provide health insurance?”
“No, I’m only part time.”
“Do you have health insurance?”
“I’m still on my Dad’s plan.”
“Ah. I’ll have a glass of John Howell’s bourbon, and in case you doubt my mental faculties, I know it’s really Willett Reserve.”
“Don’t poke the bear, David.”
“He started it, Dan.”
“Yes, but he’s a jerk. Let’s move on.”
“You’re right, so what do those health care gurus want with you?”
“They seem to be offering advice on staying healthy, but they really want to scare me into coming in for some tests.”
“Here you go. According to Cheryl’s text, a Corona with lime, a glass of Willette Reserve (I’m not sure what three fingers means), a snifter of seltzer and a glass of ice.”
“And…”
“Cherries, duh, the cherries show up on the next line, I’ll be right back.”
“Cheers, Dan. So, what’s the advice from the white coats?”
“Exercise for thirty minutes a day, eat a plant-based diet, limit alcohol intake, maintain a healthy weight and avoid tobacco.”
“Does that include cigars? I’m not giving up cigars.”
“Those recommendations sound pretty limiting; here’s your cherries.”
“Here are – my cherries, thanks Brad.”
“Huh?”
“It’s nothing, Brad. David’s a bit of a grammar nerd. Cherries…plural…is-versus-are.”
“You guys worry about the dumbest things. Is that cheeky too? I haven’t looked it up yet.”
“Yes…cheeky and, for the record, I’m not worried, Brad. It’s just that it never hurts to sound intelligent. Maybe someday you’ll need to find a job that provides healthcare.”
“I’m not worried about healthcare. I’m only twenty-four, and I got the things on that list covered.”
“You exercise thirty-minutes a day, Brad?”
“Well, not gym-stuff, and not every day, Dan, but I walk a lot around this bar.”
“They also suggest avoiding trans-fats, checking and controlling blood pressure and getting seven to eight hours sleep.”
“I’m gonna assume my B-P is OK. I never get that much sleep, and I’m not really sure what trans-fats are, but I think I eat them.”
“Does your mom still cook for you?”
“No, David, I don’t live with my parents. I eat here on the days I work, and I pick up something on the run on other days.”
“That can’t be healthy.”
“I’ve been thinking about subscribing to one of those meal services, the ones that send you ingredients, but you still have to cook the stuff.”
“What about the sleep? How many hours do you get?”
“I don’t know, David. I don’t fall asleep easy. Maybe I need a new mattress or something.”
“Maybe just a different detergent.”
“Huh?”
“Detergent…laundry…I assume you wash your bedding occasionally.”
“My mom does, I’d have to ask.”
“And yet you complain about old people.”
“I just like giving you a hard time. Actually, some of my best customers are old people.”
“Because customers your age are drinking Coors Light and buying their food on the run. Speaking of which, I could use another Corona.”
“I’ll get that, Dan. David, you want another splash, or finger, or whatever it is you use to measure bourbon?”
“I’m good for now, thanks.”
“No problem.”
“Sigh…You never answered my question about cigars, Dan. Do you think they’re included in the health warning?”
“According to WebMD, ‘The health risks associated with occasional cigar smoking (less than daily) are not known.’ Maybe you’re OK.”
“Here’s your Corona, a wedge of lime and I’m going to top-off your bourbon, on the house, David.”
“On the house, Ski…Brad? Why so generous?”
“I looked up ‘cheeky’ – I like it.”
(1) The Editor pointed out, as many of you have realized that I used the prompt as an adjective. Sorry, Linda.
No Facilities 
Love the sign, and I imagine Maddie is happy you are home every day now especially this winter. I’m going to do you a favor and not comment on the practice of medicine today. It’s my Saturday gift to you. :-)
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Thanks Judy. I knew I was getting close to the third-rail with this one, but sometimes, the odd emails and Linda’s prompts align.
We’re still in single-digit territory, but Maddie went over and nudged her harness to remind me that it’s Saturday. I don’t know how she knows. I told her it has to warm up.
I hope you have a great weekend.
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It’s 3 degrees here at the moment.
And while I try not to be an annoying grammar nerd the lack of adverb use is my number one pet peeve. And yes, I have been known to chastise the television for it’s commercial’s verbiage on occasion.
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Wait, you want adverbs? Everybody says to eliminate them (I have a hard enough time even identifying them). I look at all these elements the way I look at cholesterol – they can’t be all bad.
My wife (The Editor) chastises, mocks and shakes her head in disgust at the people who write commercials, ads and newspaper articles.
We’re all the way up to 8 here.
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Yes…. long live the adverb. I do not run quick or walk slow. Give me an L! Give me a Y! It’s not rocket science.
And we are now up to 4 degrees.
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Oooh, a warming trend. I like your cheer! I think I’m going to go have some carbs for breakfast.
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So… according to the definition, a person would have to be Cheeky to talk about each variation of what a cheek is? :)
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Yes, as far as I can tell. I hope Linda doesn’t take back any of my previously earned bonus points for stepping out of the Noun/Verb usage, but I had to do this for Skippy.
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I’m sure she’ll be okay.
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Cheeky is what I saw way too much of during the Super Bowl halftime, a “performance” that made me wonder not for the first time, what “entertainment” has come to and why it has to be so sleazy and suggestive. But I digress as they regress. “I resemble that remark” has long been used in my family lexicon and always will be. As for being a grammar nerd, I confess I resemble that remark. Happy Saturday, Dan.
janet
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I love that comment, Janet. I try to keep this place well above the standard the NFL uses for halftime shows. Nothing suggestive, and no body parts falling out at this bar. Cheryl has been known to chastise us if we get close to the edge, and The Editor would never agree.
I am surrounded by grammar nerds, and the person who inspires Skippy, is one. When I publish an error (usually a post I tried to fly solo with), he’ll put a comment on Facebook to let me know – and that comment will be cheeky.
I hope you have a great weekend – thanks!
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My goodness aren’t you a cheeky fellow by writing this post? Honestly, these days you just never know what you’ll find anywhere. Such malapertness!
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Thanks Ally, I think. I had to look up ‘malapertness’ – always good to learn a new word.
This prompt seemed too right for Skippy – I couldn’t resist.
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Wow, Brad is being his usual cheeky self AND nice.
Oh wait..is that an oxymoron? Maybe a better descriptor of Brad? ;-)
Anyhow, I’ll be sending warmer weather your way, Dan. It’s a whole 16 degrees here and the high is supposed to be 30. So, only two days of really cold and we’re back to normal cold. Maddie will be excited to go for a walk again and MuMu will be happy you left her alone for awhile.
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Thanks Mary. I had to check with the real Brad, so as not to offend him on this one. Skippy has a fan base (I can’t figure out why) so I think he needs to develop a bit more of a personality, He can’t always be a jerk…I guess. We just cracked the second digit – 10 degrees, on our way to 28. I think Maddie will get a short walk, and if the sun is strong, a short sit. MuMu will no doubt commandeer the sun-shelf, when she wakes up.
I hope you cna enjoy the “warm” weekend.
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Maybe you can have a Star Trek alternate universe episode at the bar where Skippy is always nice, remembers everything and buys a round. Or would that be more like Twilight Zone?
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Actually, it would work for the “real” Skippy, but not the bartender, and the real Skippy eggs on the bartender.
I’ve always imagined a day when the inspirators (I know that’s not a word) gather at the bar.
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I hope I get an invitation when that day comes. :-)
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Count on it.
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How could you not? I mean it should say ‘Brads as bartenders across the globe, aka Skippy’, beside the definition. 😂
I did my ‘duty’ at the PCP here to reestablish last week with the obligatory blood work end of week. I’ve been so good since last June that if they find ‘borderline’ readings this time I’m done trusting anything that has a Caduceus beside it. I even lost 13 pounds! I will continue my current regimen because it feels good but not because of current AMA stats which are slanted in favor of the pharmaceutical organizations, hospitals and obvious networking among specialties. Not that I don’t like my PCP. She’s really great. But they all have boxes to check and letters to write…
Enjoy your beer Dan. And wings or pizza or whatever. I am on health hiatus for a weekend. 😉
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Thanks Cheryl. If we decide to have a healthcare rant, I’ll definitely have you behind the bar, or maybe we’ll all just take it to a table and make Skippy serve us ;-)
My doctor is happy with my weight and my test results. There’s room for improvement, but she doesn’t seem to want us on a mission toward perfect readings. I will have a couple beers today. I might be retired, but it’s still Saturday.
It sounds like you’re taking your health seriously. You have to enjoy life, too. As I commented to the real Skippy, there’s being alive and then there’s living.
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Exactly. I do feel better and extra weight is depressing for me so it works. Im just not dancing to the system tune. My doc asks the usual questions but she supports my avenues. Cheers to a great weekend.
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I’m going to try to get Maddie out for a short walk. It’s well below 20, so we might only make it to the end of the street.
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It will seem like a hike to her though. 😉
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It lets her cross it off her list.
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Sometimes people say something that sticks in my brain and I cease to hear anything beyond that. “…it never hurts to sound intelligent” was that thing. Oh, that made me laugh! Oh, Skippy….you poor dear. You are clueless, aren’t you? We won’t even go into ‘cheeky.’ I am sticking with clueless. This was great, Dan. Happy Saturday to you.
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Thanks Lois. I think if we were in your neck of the woods, he might qualify for a “bless your heart” or two.
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haha! Yes, he absolutely would qualify for that!
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I can still hear my aunt in Virginia saying that. It seemed so nice, any yet…
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Bless his little heart = that poor dumb-ass. But not from your aunt in Virginia!!!!
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Ha ha – I’m not so sure.
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I don’t combine math and english before I finish my first cup of coffee. If you want me to add you will just have to wait. And till that cup of coffee is done it will just be a verb. Afterwards we just might have been able to get into the pluperfect.
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Oh, let’s not get into the dungeon of grammar, John. I might never escape before the beer gets warm.
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I have never done gin before coffee…
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But you pun before noon 🙂
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It is the clear crisp air this morning. And I am going to do my best to stay out of it !
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Great session with Brad. Of course, he would like cheeky. Does the sign mean there are facilities but they are unsanitary? (I know the answer but sign makers kill me sometimes.) Thanks for the mention, Dan
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Thanks John. If ever a place qualified for just plain “No Facilities” this was the place. I don’t know why they add the “sanitary” and your question does add to the mix. I guess there are a few trees 😏
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Hahahaha. Yup that explains it.
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We were well below freezing here last night. I was glad to see Skippy back, but I always miss Cheryl, too.
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Thanks Maggie. The prompt was right for Skippy. We’re still in the low teens at 10:00, but it will be warmer tomorrow.
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I have no problem with Skippy staying a jerk. Some people just have no social skills. On the other hand, he’s aging along with the rest of us, so a little growth arc wouldn’t come amiss. On tv and in books/stories, I often like stinky characters because they’re so well-drawn. Wouldn’t want to KNOW them, but I like them in fiction. :)
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Skippy is the only “character” I’ve ever had to develop. I just thought of him as a bit of a dumping ground for all the dumb stuff bartenders (but never Cheryl) do behind the bar. Then people started forming a fan club. I don’t see a complete turn-around in his somewhat arrested development. For now, I need to leave him like the Enterprise, i.e. largely undefined so I can add what I need when the time comes. Let’s not even think about needing a third bartender.
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The white coats recommended a plant based diet?! That’s a nice surprise. I’m sure Faith would be happy to help. :) Speaking of help, I’d like to have a conversation with Brad’s mom about doing his laundry.
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Can I assume you’re going to tell his mom she’s an enabler? Faith and The Editor bring me closer to a plant-based diet than I ever thought I’d be. I’m actually ok with that. We have always had meatless meals during the week. Sometimes, it’s just the right thing to have for dinner.
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I wouldn’t tell Brad’s mom she’s an enabler right off the bat. I’d probably start out by saying, that’s interesting that you wash his sheets for him. I’d be curious about why she does it, how she feels about it, and if he knows how to do laundry. He only works part time, so maybe he would have time to do it himself. Oh, how easy it is to shift into counselor mode after doing that for 30 something years. Doing an adult child’s laundry did come up a few times.
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I do know adult men who still have their moms do their laundry.
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I can’t imagine being bored enough.
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If Brad was my server and told me that, I’d have to comment, with raised eyebrows, “Your mother washes your sheets? …….. And you’re how old?”
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Cows eat grass and I eat the cow–isn’t that plant-based if you go far enough back? :)
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My brother would support you on that, Mike. He once was cooking at a summer barbecue. A woman asked him if there was any vegetarian entrees. He said “I think the pig was a vegetarian.”
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I find the term “plant-based” to be a bit strange. I understand advice to eat more fruits and vegetables, but some of the meat substitutes that are being offered are so full of processed artificial substances that I am not convinced they are any better for me than meat itself. If I am going to eat more plant-based food, I think I would prefer a black-bean burger that is delicious without tasting like beef rather than the pseudo-beef burger.
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I agree with you on this one, Mike. I for one doubt that anything I order at Burger King is going to land in the “healthy” quadrant.
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Ah, yes, I bailed on the noun/verb instructions as well. So much confusion about how to write about cheek (and I had to delete the y off that word because my fingers won’t even not type cheeky!!). Our daughter has notifications that buzz about twenty times a minute. Drives me batty when we’re trying to watch something!
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I’ve been noticing that there seems to be the expectation that you will check the buzzing. I try to ignore it when I’m with people. Istarted out confused, but then I figured Skippy was up to the task.
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Isn’t an adverb just a verb in sheep’s clothing? Uh never mind. I got nothing. ba-dum-tiss went the cymbals.
Happy Saturday!!
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They’re all words. Whatever words help us communicate work for me. Thanks.
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Your post gave me a good laugh this week, Dan. I am glad that Brad has learned to be cheeky. Mind you, he has always been cheeky, hasn’t he.
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Haha, thanks Roberta. He has always been cheeky, now he knows it.
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Haha! Brad is cheeky. This was a fun post, Dan. Good grief I’ve forgotten what an adverb is! I’ll look it up so maybe I can sound intelligent sometimes. 😜
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Not to worry. In fact, now I have to apologize to all the adverb commenters and The Editor. She said adjective – it is an adjective and I wrote adverb (demonstrating my grammar skills). I had to correct it, lest someone think she’s wrong. This is why I should follow the rules ;-)
Anyway, Brad is cheeky, whatever word form it is.
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😀
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I was swamped and could not partake this week, but cheeky would have inspired me more than cheek! I thought about butt-cheeks, but not sure how I’d write that blog… and M would not let me draw his buttcheeks.
And I HATE texts from businesses that are not friends.
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I think I understand M’s reluctance. Texts from business and most emails are the worst. Especially healthcare, where you don’t dare block them.
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A perfect example of the differences between the young and the well seasoned: They are clueless!
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I like “well seasoned” as opposed to old. There are a lot of connected and capable young people, but some just make me shake my head.
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I am deeply concerned about Skippy. Is he a student? Has he no direction? What kind of a bartender doesn’t know what fingers are? Very disconcerting.
Don’t get me started on language. My 71 year old boss was looking for a description suitable for a particular person of interest Friday. Prior to his arrival, the rest of us had collectively labeled the subject “Greedy Mofo” During the meeting, I suggested “Scoundrel.” He turned to me and asked, “Do people even say scoundrel now?”
Do they? This has troubled me since. Now, after reading this, I am no less troubled.
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Skippy is a work in progress. As for “three fingers,” it is well known and, you’d expect, intuitive, but some bartenders around here start out at the places at or near the airport, where shots are measured in some way. They introduced robotic bartenders at the Consumer Electronics Show back in January. “Three fingers of redeye” might soon be a thing of the past. That will be a sad day in my opinion.
“Scoundrel” is a good word, but I don’t hear it much. Of course, that might be because we’ve gotten comfortable with descriptions like your first choice.
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LOL – I like your take on the prompt! Tongue in cheek is a fun way to spin it, IMHO. ;-) I laughed at the photo of the scenic overlook and your 1/2″ ‘snow’ storm. It’s fun to see what the other parts of the US think is a storm! PS – I suspect, without health insurance company studies to support it, it’s easy to get a 1/2 hour exercise in shoveling that little bit of snow. ;-)
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Thanks Shelley. Clearing snow is usually good for several days of hard exercise here, but not this winter. We had two big storms in December, but none since.
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You’re welcome. Careful what you wish for ;-)! According to odds, your area is due for a big storm before April! Right?! ;-)
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We usually get slammed in March, at the point where it won’t stick around long after it falls.
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Those are the BEST storms ever!
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This was really good, Dan. I smiled all the way through reading. Yes, the definition has Skippy written all over. Today I wondered why things seemed so pleasant, and then I realized it is the sun. At last we have a day of full sun. Those cold gray days are awful. Best to you, Dan.
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Thanks Jennie. We are starting to have some warm sunny days. It is a nice feeling after gray skies and a brown landscape.
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It definitely is!! Hi to Maddie for me.
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A lot of society issues touched upon here and still chewing a bit – fab part was about how it “is only urgent when I go them” Haha – so true
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Thanks Yvette. I’m glad you like that line, that was my favorite part when I was writing it.
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😊
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