On My Way to Perfection – #SoCS

It’s Saturday, and that means we’re at the bar, trying to help our sanity outlast the virus and weaving in a thread from Linda G. Hill, who gave us the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, yesterday:

“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is ‘practice/practise.’ Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!”

I think Linda’s right, we need to “have fun!”


If we were having a beer, we might just want to keep it light.

“How’s it going my young friend?”

“As well as can be expected, David, under the circumstances, that is.”

Under the circumstances is how I feel. Like they’re a weight that’s pressing me into oblivion.”

“Oh my, David. You sound like a man in need of some John Howell’s Bourbon.”

“That I am, Cheryl. That I am. I just finished grocery shopping and I thought I’d sneak in here on my way back to prison.”

“You better not let the Missus hear you say that, David. That would imply that she’s the warden.”

“Not the warden, but clearly “Swimbo,” if you catch my drift, Cheryl.”

“Oh, I’m familiar with the term, she-who-must-be-obeyed, I carry that moniker in our house.”

“But you’re a benign despot, Cheryl.”

“I am, Dan. Are you still following orders?”

“Yes, I am, Cheryl, although my wife is easy to work for.”

“Well then, I’m sure she’d approve of your having a cold Corona.”

“She would, but David would probably appreciate it if you poured it into a glass.”

“I would indeed, Dan. How are you doing with grocery shopping?”

“I’m getting better, David.”

“Well, like they say, practice makes perfect.”

“Or, in my case, practice makes for a large AMEX bill.”

“I thought she was sending you off with a list.”

“She makes a list, but I still don’t understand the nuances of shopping.”

“Nuances? What are you talking about? You go to the store, you suit up – mask and gloves on, credit card at the ready – and you buy what’s on the list.”

“But there are shortages, and sales, and you have to improvise on sizes and brands. And then, there are things on the shelf that haven’t been there…”

“Like toilet paper?”

“Yes. I confess, sometimes, when I see it, I buy it, cuz you never know.”

“Here’s your beer, Dan. Are you hoarding Corona as well as toilet paper?”

“I’m not hoarding toilet paper, Cheryl, we’ve always bought it in bulk. And, as for beer, that’s my one complaint.”

“What, that they stopped brewing Corona?”

“No, that they open the stores at six-thirty am for seniors, but you can’t buy beer until ten am.”

“Haha – It’s hard to feel sorry for you, Dan. David, here’s your bourbon, your ice and your snifter of seltzer.”

“No cherries…?”

“None that I can see. I’ll have to check in the back.”

“Don’t bother, Cheryl. I can live without them. I mean, we are all in this together.”

“Cheers, David.”

“Cheers, Dan. So, you’re not running short of anything?”

“No, but I’ve had to substitute brands of cat litter, the stores are running low on that, too.”

“Feline toilet paper?”

“I guess so. I mean no one wants to run out of litter, David.”

“Well, at least cats aren’t picky.”

“You don’t have cats, do you, David? By the way, I found some cherries. They’re a bit past the ‘best used by’ date, but…”

“I don’t have cats, Cheryl. Are they picky?”

“They are, indeed. Changing brands of little might result in your bathmat being, um, defiled.”

“Eeew. So, how old are those cherries?”

“Not so old that I’d worry. Besides, the bourbon will kill most anything, let ‘em soak a bit.”

“That old?”

“It’s not like there’s a cherry tree virus, David. Best-used-by dates refer to flavor.”

“I know that, Dan, but flavor is important.”

“It’s a Maraschino Cherry – for crying out loud, it’s not like it’s even a real flavor.”

“But I want the ‘real’ artificial flavor.”

“And you say I’m nuts.”

“Are you still binge-watching the same shows, Dan?”

“I changed it up a bit.”

“How so?”

“Given that I had time, this week I watched some hour-long Twilight Zone episodes from season-four, and some of the two-part Star Trek episodes.”

“That’s not really a change.”

“It’s huge!”

“Dan, how is an hour-long Twilight Zone episode different from two half-hour episodes?”

“It requires double the attention span.”

“Well, I can see how that would be a problem for you.”

“You boys want another round?”

“We do, Cheryl, but maybe you should bring Dan a Coronita, in case he can’t concentrate for twelve ounces.”


Remember, David and I are meeting Cheryl in a virtual bar. I thank you for joining us and I hope you can all stay safe and stay well. The gallery is becoming increasingly local, but I’m still looking for images that make me smile.

96 comments

  1. Suiting up mentally and physically to go grocery shopping requires a full sized bottle of beer. :-) I’m trying an online order today with pickup this afternoon, but it takes almost a week to get a time slot and then there are a lot of things that you can’t choose online which is going to require going to the store anyway. I guess the bottom line is that nothing is quite as easy as it use to be, but we’re all in it together. Except for those folks who go to the store without face coverings and crowd into your 6′ space, now those folks need to adopt safe shopping practices. :-) It’s snowing here as I comment. Now, that is depressing as well. :-)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It’s snowing here as well, Judy. At least it made Maddie smile. I’ve got our shopping down to a science. I go during senior hours to two places. One opens earlier than the other, do I wait 25 minutes and then I miss the crush at both. I’ll go out on a beer run on Tuesday.

      I think we moved from an advisory to a requirement to wear masks in grocery stores. At least that’s what I saw in last night’s paper. But yeah, wrong-way Charlie flying up the aisle with no mask, needs some practice.

      I hope you get your stuff. I have to go shovel 🙁

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Definitely a lot of folks around here who think the Covid-19 guidelines are only for ‘us’, not ‘them’. So clearly we’re not ALL in this together! 😡😤😡

    You really need to stop testing MuMu’s patience Dan. Your glasses will be the victim! Is that a fairly new stuffed Jax Maddie has? It sure doesn’t look like any of Murphy’s toys after she’s had them for an hour or so! 🤗 Love the pic of Maddie sticking her tongue out! She has a sense of humor! And the squirrel in his hidey-hole is precious.

    Those beautiful flowering trees remind me that it is spring even though snow and rain are coming down. I think Pam is right….Earth pressed the reset button because nothing is as it should be right now.

    Continue to stay safe. Good luck on your beer run!

    🐾Ginger 🐾

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy snow day, Ginger.

      Ironically, that Jax toy belonged to previous dogs. There are several toys that she takes good care of. Some, we guard like hawks, but some she just treats very well. This is one that she cares for.

      MuMu is usually absent at certain times do I still use the shelf. Shhhh, don’t tell her. Maddie was chasing her and she ran in and jumped up on the shelf. I moved the glasses quickly.

      I hope you have a good weekend. Spring is still under that snow.

      Like

    1. I honestly don’t know. Unless people are so bored that they’re cleaning the litter boxes for fun. We have a lot, but our girls like non-clumping unscented old fashioned cat litter. No fancy chemicals or smells. They prefer to add their own scent 😏

      Hang in there, GP.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I am so glad you mentioned about cat litter. I’ve been buying what I can find, but it’s a worry for me, too. I’d be in one heck of a mess if they didn’t like their litter box. MuMu….she is so cute. Such a great observer too. Keep your eyes on him, MuMu. He is gonna try your patience! Happy weekend, Dan.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sorry for you, Lois but I’m glad it isn’t just me. The girls REQUIRE the litter they like. Unscented (they add the scent) Non-clumping and we need extra liners because MuMu loves to shred them. She gets in a clean litter box and picks at the liner all around. And I’m trying her patience???

      Are your beaches opening? Can hubs go fishing? Have a good weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We have three litter boxes and Pumpkin LOVES when I clean them. Yes! She is one who shreds the liner. WHT, little girl! The others cover it up and jump out. Not Pumpkin. Our stay-at-home ends April 30 and our gov is in Trump’s pocket so I am sure we will open shortly thereafter. The beach in the next town over from us opened at midnight last night. Not sure how that is gonna work cause the beaches all run together….. No fishing yet. The better the weather, the more depressed hubs gets. “I should be out there by now!” Soon, honey, soon.” Remember that line from SpaceBalls: “How soon?” “Real soon.” He’s not buying it….

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Ha! I can relate to the not being able to concentrate for 12 ozs! But stores out of cat litter? Say it ain’t so! I’d better check Crystal’s supply. Her brand has gotten hard to get even before all this stuff… I loved seeing all the furry kids today. Hugs on the wing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We haven’t had their regular brand for several weeks. I’ve been able to get an equivalent, but they don’t always have that. We’ve switched toilet paper brands as necessary, so I’m hoping they can deal with this.

      Have a good weekend, Teagan. Hugs!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Hahaha! There’s just so much to say..but I won’t. We have been using online shopping and either pickup or delivery for groceries. We recently did our first instacart shopping and I must say it wasn’t bad. Perusing the ‘aisles’ on mu ipad showed me things I might have missed in the actual Publix where ‘we’ are so easily distracted by other shoppers, spills on the floor, smells, expiration dates, well…imagine shopping with a human Maddie. 🤭 with Instacart you have a personal shopper who texts you when something needs to be substituted and often you get a more premium product for the lower price which, at Publix, doesn’t always say much. Still…the beer situation there is dismal. It is 7 am here. My knight in Shining Armor actually donned his makeshift hazmat gear to go into the liquor store for my lockdown sanity requirements. He is my hero.
    As for cherries, Dear John, I only thought I liked cherries until I started buying premium Merry Cherry brand. I can’t even look at a run-of-the-mill variety the same way now. I make drunk cherries when it is cherry season and that is heaven for a whiskey drink. Lol whoa! I sound very alcoholic, but that is just the ‘bartender’ in me. 😉 Happy shopping, Dan.Glad to know your bathroom needs will be met once more but poor MiMi and MuMu. And your bathroom rug. 😂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Cheryl. Maybe someday we can spoil David with a couple drunk cherries. No one is offering pickup around here, and they’re not taking new delivery customers. We’re going ok. I rarely get within 10’ of another shopper when I go. Beer will be a different thing, but I’ll scoot in and out quick. The girls seem to be ok with alternative brands. I just have to be able to find unscented.

      Your hubs is a hero. I’m sure he’d slay a dragon for you. 🐉

      Like

  6. Your ground cover is gorgeous, Dan. I enjoyed the photos and learned a new acronym SWMBO. I live under and embrace the principle but it is nice to have a shortcut description. Like, “Why are you doing that?” “Because I’m operating on the SWMBO principle. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s really our neighbor’s ground cover, John but it’s migrating under the fence. It really is pretty. SWMBO was given to me by the real David, the one who graciously let me use his name for my composite buddy (provided I never call him Dave). I’ve been properly chastised for including the ‘I’ to aid in pronunciation, but I think I’m OK.

      Our supply of John Howell’s Bourbon is holding steady. The Corona supply is shaky, but I’ll survive.

      Enjoy the weekend and stay safe.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. You’ve reminded me I need to stock up on litter now that I’ll be at home for another six weeks. Back to Chewy.com or whoever has it in stock. My bigger issue has been finding my brand of kettle chips, which I finally ordered online this past week and will have to wait over a week for delivery. My mayo is going to miss them for a while.

    Have an awesome weekend, Dan, and good luck with paying attention to hour-long shows and two-parters. Star Trek never gets old, except sometimes we have to skip episodes that neither of us are fond of. You know how that goes, right?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “Imaginary Friend” “Violations” “Eye of the Beholder” and “Sub Rosa” to name a few that I won’t watch without Faith.

      They’ve been out of stock of the pretzels I like (Rold Gold Cheddar) and the reduced salt Lays that my wife likes. Both non-existent for weeks, even though the Chips aisle is well stocked. Hopefully, we get back to a place where we can easily get our favorite things. In a sense, maybe it’s a good thing I can’t buy unlimited amounts of Corona ;-)

      I hope you’re having a good weekend – it’s snowing here :(

      Like

  8. Well, Corona as well as other beers produced in Mexico might get to be in short supply.

    As for those cherries, I don’t think they were ever real, so David shouldn’t worry. :-) I can see Maddie and the cats are probably loving all the photo attention these days. Hope you and Editor are doing as well.

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We are doing well, Janet. I knew about Corona, but InBev/ iBev, whatever (the owner) says they have enough in inventory to meet expected demand. Of course, people will hoard it like toilet paper and that will soon be gone. As far as I can tell, they are still brewing Dos Eqis, which is brewed in the US. I like that too. I’m not going to panic until the only beer left is Bud Light – if we reach that point, I’m sure you’ll be able to hear me scream.

      Liked by 2 people

  9. After several discussions about it, I’ve decided that buying toilet paper in bulk is an Eastern European thing. Maru’s Lithuanian, and my sister-in-law Annette is Polish, and both like to bulk up when they have a chance. Actually, my brother tells me it’s his in-laws that buy in bulk. When everyone was panic-buying toilet paper. we had plenty of it…

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Dan, you have it down pat, shopping times, and how to distance. The arrows on the supermarket aisles are a joke to some. And no masks or distancing. Complete denial & stupidity. The Maddie, MuMu, MiMi, squirrel & flower photos always make me smile. Chickpea Puffs—No way! 🤣 Not even going to try them. 😝 April snow—yup Spring is underneath. At least that to look forward to. Have a great weekend. Stay safe & well. 📚🎶 Christine

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Christine. I figure the only way to avoid the crazy shoppers is to get there when there aren’t many people in the store. I’ve been able to get everything we need from two grocery stores and the occasional visit to Target. Most weeks, I shop one day, sometimes, two, but the second time for perishable items I missed the first time. They could be giving those chickpea puffs away and I wouldn’t let them in my cart. The critters don’t seem to be bothered by this at all.Maybe there’s a lesson in that.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s funny, I eat a chickpea salad from my regular bar/restaurant, but that’s it. On rare occasions, I’ve eaten hummus but not usually. But I will pick those buggers, along with any olives, out of everything else.

      Like

    1. The state has relaxed some laws, but not others. Restaurants can now sell alcohol to go, but they can’t deliver it with meals. Target opens from 8:00-9:00 for seniors, but the pharmacy opens at 10:00. We have always bought certain things online, but we’ve also bought things at Costo (which is a zoo). Most of the things we get at the grocery are perishable items, meat, cheese, veggies and fruit – nothing we’d want to get online. I would have to believe that the shipping of cat litter would cost more than the litter. We normally buy TP in bulk (45 rolls to a pack) – those are impossible to get, so I buy what we’re allowed to buy, when it’s in stock. So far, we’re staying ahead of the curve.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Amazon used to be really good with shipping. If you have Amazon Prime membership your shipping is free. Right now shipping is definitely slower. Costco here ships as well. Grocery stores here will deliver and that includes alcohol. Right now we do not shop at the store in person as has been recommended here in California. I am getting better at figuring out the system. There is about 1 week delay for the order to be filled because so many people are doing the same thing. I got most of what I ordered from one store. I used to use Whole Foods because of free delivery with my Amazon membership but they have had problems with delivery recently. I have had trouble ordering TP because the stores are saying they are out. Today I asked the shopper working on my order if he could check if any TP available and he found the last package of 12 rolls. We used to buy the big pack from Costco but we don’t want to go there at present and they haven’t had any available online either. We still have some TP left over from Costco but have been using it and needed to get a re-supply. It’s hard to figure out what I will need to last for about 2 weeks. We go through fresh fruit and vegetables fast. Milk can be hard to get sometimes.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. It is hard. My wife had a nice simple shopping routine. A small grocery store, Costco once a month and a local farm for dairy. Now, I have to visit two grocers, one big and one small. I am still getting dairy at the farm. Costco is the store of last resort for things like coffee and batteries. We also get things from Walmart online, which we like a little better than Amazon. It’s a whole new way of shopping.

          Liked by 1 person

  11. I used to buy toilet paper by the 4 pack since I don’t have a lot of storage space. But over the past few weeks I can relate to, “I confess, sometimes, when I see it, I buy it, cuz you never know.” It’s amazing the storage space one can find when necessary. I think now I have enough TP for a few weeks which gives me a feeling of security. About the kitty litter, I’ve read that during hurricanes people bring in a kitty pool filled with dirt and clumps of grass for their dogs – just in case.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Who knew Maraschino cherries had a sell by date?

    The park is looking pretty, and how you saw that squirrel in the knothole is neat! Your ground cover is lovely! Nothing in my yard is blooming or leafing out yet, but the grass is getting greener.

    I haven’t been able to get quite a few items shopping for groceries online so, I’m donning my mask and gloves this coming week and going in and see how the store looks and shop for myself. It’s been weeks since I’ve been in the store.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I loved seeing the squirrel in that hole. It just ran up and disappeared. More and more things are blooming each day, even though we had heavy wet snow yesterday.

      We’ve been doing ok with the two stores near us and the senior shopping hours. I do have to venture out after 10:00 to get some beer. My favorite package store (alcohol) appears to have closed.

      Suit-up and being careful.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I’m still shaking my head at the no-booze-before-10am thing. What the hell?! What’s a senior supposed to do?! Can’t they at least let you buy it if you promise not to open it before 10 am? 😉

    Having said that, I suspect our rules are even more archaic. Glad Gilles went binge-shopping before we went into isolation.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s the normal time. Don’t ask why. We only started allowing alcohol sales on Sunday’s and holidays a few years ago. I think the could allow alcohol sales to seniors during those shopping hours. Who wants a bunch of sober seniors?

      Liked by 1 person

  14. The grocery story …. thank goodness hubby goes. First toilet paper was in shortage and now meat? My goodness what next? It’s just like you said, Dan, this is the virus that ate the world.
    I should send you a picture of our stash of kitty litter “just in case”. Our cats only like a certain litter and nothing else. We also buy TP in bulk “just in case”. With all the misinformation and confusion going on, I don’t think anyone quite knows what is going on or what to expect. If you begin ordering online expect delays. I can prove to you that companies are taking advantage of this virus. That is their excuse for being slow, especially Amazon. That is a lot of “you know what”. I ordered something online, for the life of me right now I cannot remember, but it was a non-essential item. In 2 days I received it. This company had no excuses and just continued business as usual. Thank goodness there are some businesses open who have integrity. Loved your gallery …. I never tire of seeing your fur-kids.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Amy. We are getting by fairly well. We shop online for things, but we’ve never been big on Amazon – there’s a creepy factor at work there.

      The squirrels are going crazy today. Snow yesterday and overnight temps in the 20s had the new and soon-to-be mom squirrels out begging for food.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sorry you got the snow we had, Dan. The good news is, warmer weather is coming. Even though it is windy here today, the temps are in the 50’s so I am going to at least try to finish one garden.
        Amazon …. I don’t have problems with it. I know some do however.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. As I’m no longer going into stores I am dependent on that which I can get online. We are only be able to get Bud Light beer. I am not against this particular beer, but it’s not quite getting me to the headspace I need to be… if you get my drift.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Kitty litter is a problem, said The Mister. We can’t get what we usually buy and the rest is also picked over to leave few choices. Fortunately, our cats have used everything from regular to clumping to paper and pine without any issues. The food, tho, they’re picky about!
    Seniors should get a waiver on the early shopping for beer and wine, duh.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Oh, dear, NO! Kitty litter shortages … with two hefty dumpers in our house that’s not a good thing. So far we haven’t had the issue of not finding it at our stores. Yeah, I agree with you the senior shopping hours should include the ability to buy whatever it is they need from the store dedicated to letting them shop early. So far our senior lines at the store last so long, they blend right into the normal hours of shopping so the seniors looking for beer seem to be content. But we’re a beer manufacturing town, so shortage isn’t a problem. ;-) PS – love seeing the pops of colors in your photos. We just finally got rid of all the snow! Take care, stay safe, and well-hydrated :-)

    Like

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