Functional Equivalents – #SoCS

It’s Saturday, but even in the virtual bar, some days are better than others. Let’s join David and, you know who, for our favorite adult beverage and some conversation inspired by Linda G. Hill. Her prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is:

“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is ‘val.’ Find a word that starts with ‘val’ or if you’re not doing the A to Z Challenge, find a word that just has ‘val’ in it, and use that word any way you’d like. Enjoy!”


If we were having a beer, we’d realize how much our survival depends on adapting and keeping a sense of humor.

“Dan, tell me I didn’t see what I think I just saw.”

“Skippy? Sorry, you saw Skippy.”

“Damn. What happened to Cheryl?”

“What happened? What happened is that chivalry did not die. I offered to sub for her so she could have the day off. She’s been making masks for us.”

“Well, aren’t you kind?”

“I am kind, David. Does that surprise you?”

“Skippy, you are full of surprises. Maybe you can surprise me with getting our drink order right today.”

“No problem, Pops, it’s in the machine, filed under John Howell’s Bourbon. And a cold Corona for you, Dan?”

“Yes, Brad, but if you don’t mind, could you put it in a glass, David doesn’t like seeing the word Corona.”

“No problem, I actually agree with him. It just so happens, I washed some glasses a few minutes ago.”

“You – washed – on second thought, leave it in the bottle.”

“Did he call me Pops?”

“He did, David. Maybe you should reevaluate your habit of calling him Skippy.”

“Ha! Discretion might be the better part of valor, Dan, but I’m not the one depending on the kindness of strangers for a tip.”

“Here’s your bourbon, your snifter of seltzer, your ice and your cherries.”

“Thanks, Skippy.”

“No problem. Dan, I’ll be right back with your beer. I have to slice a new lime.”

“Cheers, Dan. I’d wait, but this bourbon looks mighty good, and I kind of need it.”

“Tough week?”

“Well, the value of my 401-K has been doing a roller coaster impression. I visited multiple online shops, and I’m having to go to multiple stores to get the things I need. It’s getting crazy.”

“You could always substitute brands and ingredients.”

“Here’s your Corona, and two perfectly balanced lime slices, Dan.”

“Thanks, Brad. I’m glad you found the right lime.”

“They have to be more oval-ish than round.”

“Cheers!”

“So, Dan, you were saying about substituting brands. How much Corona do you have in stock?”

“Two twelve-packs.”

“Aaaaaaaand…?”

“One eighteen-pack, but that’s all I’m buying.”

“I don’t know, since they stopped brewing it, the value might increase.”

“I’m sure it’s out-performing your retirement fund, but it does have a best-drink-by date.”

“Enjoy that. Any other favorites you’re stocking up on?”

“Well, I may have bought too much pasta, but that was unintentional. I don’t really know how much goes in the pot.”

“That stuff holds up well on the shelf.”

“Yeah, and I can eat my weight in angel hair.”

“Italian or Chinese?”

“What?”

“Angel hair, Italian or Chinese?”

“I don’t follow.”

“I call ramen noodles Chinese angle hair.”

“Ha! I like that. I call them curly noodles. I could eat my weight in them, too.”

“Speaking of eating, will you boys be ordering any food?”

“Not for here, Brad, but I’m…”

“…Going to want some wings to go. You guys are so…”

“Predictable, Skippy?”

“Predictable. That’s the word I was looking for, David (although boring was on the tip of my tongue).”

“Tip, that’s a good word to remember, young man.”

“Message received, pops.”

“So, David. Any thoughts on the NFL draft?”

“File those under ‘ambivalent feelings’ Dan.”

“Why, because the Patriots traded away their first-round pick?”

“No, because it’s run like a circus. The whole thing could be over in three hours, but it took over an hour to process eight picks.”

“That’s always the case, David. The NFL is all about drama.”

“Yes, but this year, I’m actually watching – it’s the only live sports show on TV.”

“Here you go, Dan. Barbecue wings with parmesan peppercorn dressing.”

“To go, Brad. These were supposed to be to – go!”

“Did you say that? I don’t remember.”

“You said it!”

“You want me to dump them in a container?”

“I’ll tell you what to do, Skippy. Put another order in for Dan and bring some blue cheese dressing so I can help him eat this order.”

“Which one of you is paying for this order?”

“These are on-the-house.”

“Oh, OK.”

“And, we’ll have another round; you can put that on my tab.”

“No problem, David.”

“I’m guessing he wasn’t valedictorian of his class at bartender school, eh Dan?”

“Not hardly. Here, try the wings with some parm-pep.”

“I can wait.”

“For Skippy? He’s already forgotten the blue cheese.”

“OK. Hey, that’s not bad, Dan.”

“See, a little change can be a good thing.”

“I hope you remember that when you get home and find the blue cheese dressing in the bag with your wings.”


69 comments

    1. I do have a Steelers face mask :)

      I am hoping to rearrange the shed today. Tuck the snowblower into the corner and reassemble the handles for the lawn mowers. Then move snow shovels to the back and rakes out front. I think it’s time. Of course, the last time I tried this, it snowed :(

      I hope you have a nice weekend, Judy.

      Liked by 2 people

        1. Coach Mike Tomlin’s wife is a fashion designer. She switched to making masks. After she donated them for weeks, she had enough to start selling them. You only get one Steelers mask in a pack of five. Our daughter sent us a pack.

          Liked by 1 person

  1. I got so much into the conversation that I forgot to count the val, -val, and -val words–a quick re-look shows there to be lots of them. I guess the Coronavirus situation has me more distracted than usual. I especially love the squirrel photos, capturing so many different sides of their personalities, and laughed at Maddie’s wind-blown ears. Take care, Dan, as you continue to make us all both laugh and reflect.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s a wonderful compliment, Mike. The val words seemed to flow easily. We have a bunch of young squirrels, and they are comical and hungry. Some don’t quite seem to know what to do about Maddie. I guess they’ll learn.

      Take care.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I had to laugh out loud at the back and forth between David and Brad. It was excellent. I hope you enjoyed the blue cheese. A baby Smoky? That’s something. You did a great job on the prompt. I also enjoyed that shot of Maddie in the wind. Her hair made it look like a cat 3. Thanks for the mention too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks John. This prompt seemed to lend itself to conversation, and Skippy brings out the best/worst in David. We’ve had wind, rain, snow and sun here this week, and, apparently, a bunch of baby squirrels were birthed recently. We have little guys and new moms running around like commandos at the thought of a peanut.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I can always count on you to brighten my Saturday with a laugh! You certainly managed to get a lot of “Val” words in!

    Love Maddie’s ‘wind-blown’ look! I think Glinda is in isolation like the rest of us, thus only her bubble appeared!

    Great shots of the squirrels and Snoopy.

    Good to see Cheryl….,well, her eyes anyway!!

    Hope you and the Editor and Faith can continue to stay safe and remain healthy.
    🐾Ginger 🐾

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed this, Ginger. It was nice to be able to include a glimpse of Cheryl.

      Maddie wanted to sit, but she did agree that it was too cold and windy, and I wasn’t digging our her vest (although she really likes wearing them).

      Lots of activity in the backyard animal sanctuary. Some of the squirrels need to hit the road, but we’re trying to convince baby Smokey to stay here. I missed a shot of the resident bunny.

      Take care, and try to enjoy the weekend (it is Saturday, right?)

      Like

  4. hahah. That first squirrel looks a little scruffy but not starving! Love the pictures. We forget how much the city wildlife is affected by people not being around. Some is good, some not. Stay well my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You stay well, too, Pam.

      These little guys are doing OK. Some are foraging for the things squirrels should be eating, but we’ve had some very cold days and nights that have brought a few to our doors – literally – looking for a handout. They don’t seem concerned about distancing.

      Like

  5. Pops? It took a couple of lines for David to realize what Skippy had called him. I was concerned for a bit there…. My 401…..I’ve not converted it yet, but it’s not looking too bad. I’m hedging my bets that it will go through the roof after November. I am not a gambler, but I get a certain thrill out of living on the edge with my money. My husband is less than impressed….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’d let you have more cats, Lois, but I’m with your hubs on this one.

      I think David was enjoying the bourbon too much to notice. Oh well, Skippy has his fans, so I guess that means he’s entitled to a jab, now and then.

      Take care!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I haven’t had ramen noodles in many years – since I got burnt out on them. But they did taste good with veggies added. Maybe enough time has passed for me to enjoy them again. If you see Glinda, tell her I said hello. :)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. We watched the NFL draft last night too. Well B watched and I sat there perusing FB. It did seem particularly long and drawn out. I think I needed some of John Howell’s bourbon to make it better. ;)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I like to think Skippy is getting a bit of his own back now. :-) I also like the top left shot of the squirrel who appears to be making a break from isolation/shelter in place and hitting the big, wide world. :-)

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

    1. One of my readers on Facebook posted the graphic shown below. Skippy has his followers.

      That squirrel really was willing to scrap all social distancing rules (and a squirrel should maintain a good distance fro a dog) in order to get a peanut.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. We do feed them. Keep in mind, Maddie is on a leash, but just on the other side of the fence. When the moms have their babies, they really pester us for food. I was so happy she stayed for that photo. Normally, when they see us coming, they get down on the ground.

      Like

  9. Remind me to slap Skippy next time I see him. Lol. Love the photos of the neighborhood. Awww, a baby Smokey? That’s sweet. I saw some lovely white butterflies today. Hopefully sharing tomorrow. We had wings tonight too! I made them though. We still aren’t trusting anyone but us to make our food. Yeah, and there will be a phase 2 of mask making…😳🙄👍🏻I like angel hair pasta too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You may have to slap the folks in the “free Skippy” movement 😏

      Now I’m thinking of wings and angel hair. I don’t know how you could eat them together, but mmmmm.

      I look forward to your butterflies.

      Take care.

      Like

  10. LOL! I really laughed out loud a few times reading the banter between David and Skippy. Funny! Pops! He went really went there! 🤣

    The park and trees look lovely, and I loved the sun flare in the image you were looking for Glinda the good witch.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I’m super late to the bar, but better late than never.

    Yeah, my deferred comp and the variable portion of my retirement fund? I don’t want to know.
    Pasta – even though I’m German, I should be Italian. I LOVE the stuff. Could eat it every day.

    Speaking of love, the Packers traded up to draft a QB – Jordan Love. I don’t think I get that and in reviewing their picks, not sure of where they are going with them. Perhaps it doesn’t matter since we will probably not be watching football in the fall.

    Hope you had a wonderful weekend, Dan.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Really funny bar banter this week, Dan. Skippy and David are hilarious. I didn’t know some states were flying the flag at half mast. Nice! And the best? Waiting for Glinda to appear!! 😀

    Like

  13. I confess… I like instant Ramen noodles. Yes I add some vegetables, but I do like them — and they’ve been off the shelves for months. Sigh… Eventually I found some kind of buckwheat soba noodles. They actually aren’t bad, but have to be cooked.
    Another lovely gallery, Dan. I really did feel like Glenda the Good Witch might come from that bubble! It would be nice if she did show up. Hugs on the wing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We have a pretty good supply of Ramen, Teagan but I will definitely buy a box if I see it at Costco. I wasn’t sure how many people would get the Good Witch reference. Too bad we can’t click our heels three times and get back to a virus-free Kansas.

      Like

  14. Standing squirrel for the win! If only he spoke ;)
    Not being able to get things at the store is so random. I don’t even know what that’s about, but it’s the real deal.
    I had a sudden craving for vanilla Nesquick only to find out they discontinued it in 2006. I guess that’s one thing I won’t blame on the pandemic!
    Pasta is something we eat once or twice a week, and it’s always a big hit. Angel hair and butter, garlic, onion, basil for me :)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love angel hair, with anything! We’ve been able to get pasta, but with me shopping (and not knowing or checking) I may have inadvertently caused us to become hoarders. Apparently, I don’t how much stuff goes into the things we eat. I just buy more stuff.

      If that squirrel could talk, she should say “thank you for the peanuts.”

      Liked by 1 person

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