After clearing fourteen inches of snow on Thursday, I think we’re ready to relax, share a beverage and spend some time contemplating Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt. This week, Linda has given us:
“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is ‘magnet.’ Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!”
If we were having a beer, you’d be surprised to see Skippy again.
“Dan, why is he here again?”
“Skippy?”
“Yeah, why Is he here? This is two weeks in a row. He never works two weeks in a row.”
“I heard someone saying that Cheryl is running late. It’s not a big deal.”
“On the contrary Dan. It is a big deal. I have a date tonight. Cheryl was supposed to take over an hour ago.”
“Relax, Skippy. Why don’t you get us something to drink?”
“The usual, Dan?”
“Exactly.”
“I don’t think his mind is in the moment, Dan.”
“What do you mean, David?”
“He’s already on his date. Skippy doesn’t strike me as someone who can focus.”
“Does he strike you as a chick magnet?”
“Huh? No. Why would you ask me that?”
“Remember he got a date with that girl at the table last year? And, when Teagan Geneviene was here, he left with Lulu. I think he’s got something special going, David.”
“Well, it isn’t his skill as a bartender.”
“You know, David, I don’t mind serving you this curious combination, but why do I have to put the seltzer in a brandy snifter?”
“It’s easier to hold, for one, and it tastes better. Of course, it tastes better without the cherries, they go in the bourbon.”
“Irregardless of the glass, seltzer is seltzer.”
“Re – gardless.”
“Huh?”
“The word you’re looking for is regardless. Irregardless is not a word, regardless of the fact that too many people use it.”
“Have it your way Gramps, I still say the seltzer is seltzer, the glass doesn’t make a difference.”
“I have bad news for both of you.”
“And what might that be, Dan?”
“Yeah, Dan, did I break another antiquated rule of grammar?”
“Easy, Skippy. The shape of the glass may well affect the way the liquid in it tastes – that’s why you have so many different shaped wine glasses.”
“I didn’t know that. I never pay attention to which wine glass I give people.”
“We’ve noticed, Skippy.”
“Now, now, David. Don’t be so smug, you have a bit of crow to eat, too.”
“What are you talking about, Dan?”
“Merriam-Webster is adding irregardless to their dictionary.”
“What? You’re kidding me, right? Why would they do that? That is stupid!”
“According to NPR, the folks at Websters said, ‘Irregardless is included in our dictionary because it has been in widespread and near-constant use since 1795…We do not make the English language, we merely record it.’ So, Skippy – is – right. Sorry.”
“I still say it’s stupid, Dan. A bunch of people like Skippy use the wrong word often enough and it becomes a word?”
“Some think it’s a good sign. They feel that our language should evolve, David.”
“You probably agree with them, Dan. I’ve heard you use ‘beer’ as a verb and I think I heard you say that you had been ‘beerified’ once.”
“Beerified might be the past tense of beer, if it was a verb.”
“No Dan. Language has rules. If you want to be funny, you know, make a joke, that’s fine, but we shouldn’t corrupt our language.”
“Holy moly! I’m half an hour late and you two have worked yourselves up into a lather. What is going on?”
“Cheryl, it’s so good to see you.”
“It’s good to see you, too, David.”
“We’re discussing the fact that Webster’s is adding irregardless to the dictionary.”
“That’s what this is about? I’m bringing you two clowns another round.”
“Well, the previous topic was whether or not Skippy is a chick magnet.”
“You two are hopeless. Look at the specials while I get these drinks.”
“Dan, look at this. They have Philly-Cheesesteak Eggrolls.”
“We need an order of those, David.”
“I heard that. I’ll put that order in, but I’m going to double it. You can thank me later. Here’s your Corona, Dan and David, here’s a proper John Howell’s Special.”
“Thanks Cheryl. Now, for the record, are you with me or Dan?”
“With you or Dan? What does that mean, David?”
“Do you think they should add irregardless to the dictionary?”
“Why, just because someone says it wrong a thousand times? Why not add ‘libary’ and ‘supposebly’ while they’re at it. I see people trying to use those in Words With Friends – all – the — time.”
“Dan, I’ll give you one more chance. Do you want to agree with Cheryl and me, or do you want to agree with Skippy?”
“When you put it that way, David. I’m with you, re-gardless of what Webster’s says.”
“Cheers, Dan.”
Note: This post is dedicated to The Editor. The part of Cheryl was played by Cheryl.
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