Said the Inspector – #1LinerWeds

Some of my earliest jobs introduced me to the concept of having my work inspected. How I loaded the catering company van I drove to the riverboat each night. How cut, glued, sanded, stained and finished a woodworking project. The Postmaster in the Post Office I worked for would periodically check to see that I was collecting from all the mailboxes, and that I wasn’t collecting any before the cutoff time. Every building permit I’ve ever pulled has required a set of plans, detailing the work I was going to do as well as an inspection when the work was complete. So yes, I’m used to inspections.

I am also used to passing inspections.

So I was surprised last week, when The Editor returned from taking Maddie out to do her business after I had finished clearing paths and “rest areas” for Maddie to use. I expected that Maddie would check them all out, sniffing the ground and scoping out the position of the clear spots alongside the paths. I jokingly remarked: “I assume my work passed inspection.” To which The Editor replied,

“No, you failed.”

Apparently, I forgot to clear two of Maddie’s favorite places to pee. I took care of one the following day, but it wasn’t until that evening that Maddie showed me that I still hadn’t cleared one far enough back from the path. Maddie likes to scoot under one of our bushes so the branches kinda scratch her back as she finds the perfect spot. Also, she did not approve of my lazy-man approach to creating the rest areas. I had just slipped in at an angle. Maddie prefers to have them squared off in both directions. She wants a rectangle, not a triangle.

All mistakes have been corrected. A subsequent re-inspection resulted in a passing grade.

This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s fun weekly series One-Liner Wednesday. If you have a one-liner, If you would like to join in on the fun, you can follow this link to participate and to see the one-liners from the other participants.

55 comments

  1. I repeat… Burrr! But even anti-snow me admits it’s beautiful.
    Dan, I think MiMi sticks that foot out just to tempt you. =^-^= Lately Crystal sleeps with her paws all tucked in. I’ve been trying to sneak and clip her nails one at a time. So now she hides the paws. (eye roll)
    You made me chuckle about Maddie’s inspections. And I thought cats were picky! LOL.
    Hugs on the wing!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m sure MiMi does that to tempt me. MiMi always hides the one paw that has a long sock, because that’s the easiest way to tell her apart from her sister. The snow is beautiful, but will likely wash away in the warm rain that’s coming.

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  2. “This is shoddy workmanship”–that is so funny! This from a person whose cats use whatever litterbox they feel like. I bring a ‘sample’ to the vet and say, “I’m not sure which cat this is from.” They smile and assure me, ‘If one cat has it, the other cat has it.” Whatever ‘it’ is.
    To be able to walk on snow–rub it in, Smokey! Glad all the problems have been corrected and have passed inspection. Whew! Tough audience.

    Liked by 1 person

    • This is a tough audience, Lois. I can’t put my glasses on the shelf, the snow’s not cleared from my favorite pee place, I’m gonna stick my paw out here but don’t touch it. Maddie tried walking on the snow. She got about six feet and then one foot crashed through. Then the other three followed. It was funny, but I tried not to laugh too hard. Then, this morning, on our walk, she dragged me across the street. She climbed up and over the snow berm left by the plow. I went in up to my knees. We also do the one sample – both cats.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Goodness, Dan. You must treat the Princess and her potty spots better with the next snowfall. Yes, you rectified it this time, but I fear the next Maddie inspection will not go unpunished if you fail. And she’ll be sure to include MiMi and MuMu in your punishment. Claws and such…

    Happy Fur Servant Christmas!

    Liked by 1 person

    • She makes me feel so guilty, Mary. After clearing all the paths and spaces, she looks at us and climbs up in the snow to do her business in “that spot” that I should have cleared. Worse is the fact that she chooses different spots when she’s out with the Editor at 5:00am than she does later with me. I need a map. Fur servant is a apt term.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. It does look like a Winter Wonderland Dan, but it’s really quite something else when you have to shovel, snowblow and chop ice. On top of that, our redhead needs squared off corners to satisfy her OCD! Lol. You gotta love it.

    Smokey strutting her stuff on top of the snow is too cute for words.I definitely found one squirrel in the tree. I thought I found the other two, but the more I looked the more I’m certain I didn’t!! 🤗

    Beautiful sunshine here, but no measurable melting. Not looking forward to the rain coming. The mobile home park we live in everyone’s on a septic system. Consequently no sewers to carry rain away. No where for water to go b/c it’s locked in from roadside snow mountains. And our backyard will be a lake! Poor Murphy will have a heck of a time trying to maneuver with only three legs! Her hair dryer will be working overtime. Apparently that’s not bad enough, wind is going to be obnoxious.

    Stay as warm and dry as you can Dan. I’m sure Maddie has forgiven you for failing her inspections! 🤗
    Ginger

    Liked by 1 person

  5. We’re all a little OCD, but Maddie rings the bell.

    All the little showoffs are bouncing across the snow today, Ginger. They seem to want to fill up before the storm. I was out fixing the rain gutter that I destroyed with the snow blower, and I had quite a crew of inspectors. The snow has settled, but it will still be here when the rain comes. At that point, the paths will turn into canals. Maddie can stand on the snow in some places and step in it in others. It will be us poor humans trudging through the flooded paths – on Christmas, no less.

    Our best to you guys, including Murphy. I hope you don’t lose power for that hair dryer.

    Enjoy the blues skies and sunshine while they last.

    Like

  6. Boy, she’s a tough inspector! 😂 I laugh, but Diva Dog was just as picky and tough.

    That first image in monochrome is really nice! I also like the one with the Moon peeking through the branches.

    I think I found all three, but one might just be a bump on the branch. 😀 Merry Christmas to you and the family, Dan!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I prefer those serene pics of snow to our weather. The wind has been nonstop howling for days and nights. It creates snow squalls which are hazardous. No beauty here, but Maddie might like it.☃️🎄🖖🏻

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Beautiful photos, Dan. I can feel the chill — it’s all coming back. We’re dipping into the 20s this evening, but the snow melted yesterday. I hope you and your family have a truly Merry Christmas. ✨🎄✨

    Liked by 1 person

  9. All your pictures pass inspection. I’m reminded of Corning, in Corning, New York, where my mother worked for many years. Their slogan was something like, “Quality is our most important product.” As for failing inspections, imagine being a woman having three teenage girls in the house at the same time. No inspection was passed for a good long time. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Thank goodness Maddie has The Editor around! Packing suitcases and having the job inspected by a military husband was never pleasant. These days of less travel he enjoys being The Inspector when we snowblow. So, I know just how you feel, Dan. Haha. Your photos are so pretty. Too bad the conjunction happened on a cloudy night.

    Liked by 2 people

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