Just Because It’s True – #1LinerWeds

I’m not going to dip back into Star Trek for my one-liner, but I am reminded of an episode, “Ensigns of Command” in which Captain Picard tells Lt. Commander Data that “excessive honesty can be dangerous in a leader.” I would extend that to include TV cooking show hosts. I’m giving you a twofer today. One from a celebrity chef and a rebuttal from me.

Last week, I was watching PBS’s Christopher Kimball’s Milk Street Television and the show “The new American Bakery.”

This woman was merrily walking through all the steps of making muffins. She was making it look easy, just like all TV chefs who have cleanup crews ready to take over after the muffins are done. Not that I’m planning to make muffins anytime soon – I enjoyed The Editor’s homemade muffins for many years – but I found the show interesting. However, as this woman was ready to place the muffin pan into the oven, she blurted out:

“Just remember, when you choose to eat a muffin, you’re having cake for breakfast.”

As if that wasn’t bad enough, she launched into a mini tirade where she added:

“Americans have convinced themselves that muffins are somehow a healthy alternative. I want to make sure you understand that is not the case. It’s cake.”

Lemmie tell you something else Americans have convinced themselves of – when we fork over a tidy sum every year to support the television network that allows you to make muffins for a living, we don’t need a lecture on nutrition. And now, for my one-liner:

“When you reach for flour, look for self-rising, not self-righteous.”

This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s fun weekly series One-Liner Wednesday. If you would like to join in on the fun, you can follow this link to participate and to see the one-liners from the other participants.

67 comments

  1. Great one-liner, Dan. I love Panera’s blueberry scones, and I’ve imagined them as a tad more nutritious than other breakfast foods. I have a feeling your baker would set me straight. Bummer. Thank you for sharing your beautiful photos. Smokey’s stance is precious! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I refuse to believe muffins aren’t a healthy way to start the day. No one needs a sanctimonious baker. Next thing she’ll be telling us? Cheesecake isn’t a protein. Bah!
    waves to bunny on her way out

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Your response Dan was brilliant! I am tired of people trying to take the joy out of things. Her comment was inappropriate and negative. Not a show I would go back to watch because of that. I look to TV for entertainment, for humour. She could’ve said that line as if it was a joke and we would have all left. But she went down the Darkside. I don’t know who she is and I already don’t like her.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Extra points for today’s one-liner! And what’s wrong with cake for breakfast? Some of my favorite breakfast foods are chocolate cream pie buried under whipped cream, piece of cold pizza, ice cream, cookies (and if I want to have something especially healthy, I make it oatmeal cookies!)

    “Maddie’s pattie”…. I love it! I wouldn’t be able to pass MiMi’s tail either without touching it or dusting her off with it! Baby bunny is so cute and your collection of squirrels thrive.

    Enjoy this wonderful weather Dan.
    Ginger

    Liked by 3 people

    • I love chocolate cream pie, Ginger. That’s a great idea for breakfast. I don’t want to know what this woman would say about pizza. If yo remember, the patio was a Mother’s Day gift for The Editor. Maddie quickly laid claim to it. Our daughter and I planned, purchased, hid stuff away and worked our butts off in the rain to make that thing.

      We are enjoying the weather, but I think it’s too early for 86° I hope you have a nice slide into the weekend from here. Let them eat cake!

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Thanks for pointing out that people don’t always want to hear that, whether it’s the truth or not. Had it been me hosting the show, I would have MADE healthy muffins to start with, and then say, “There! Now you can have your cake and eat it too!” 😉

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Woah! The smoke plume from that burn can be seen from satellites! Haha! I’m still laughing.
    Don’t you just love it when people from other places (or even regions of the same country) think they know all about what we do, think, believe… and eat? And entire regions of the country get blamed for the toxic ideology of a handful of the population? Oh-oh, I’m nipping that rant in the bud.
    Gorgeous gallery today too, Dan. MiMi always has a tempting foot or tail. Hugs on the wing.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Muffins are called cakes in England. Remember muffin tops sold separately?😁 -to me the best part anyway. They also have every possible ingredient already cleaned scrubbed, peeled and measured sitting in front of them🤪

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Hi Dan, I love your pictures. The squirrels are too sweet. As for muffins, they are indeed cake, and I make them along with other sweet and delicious treats and I never, ever, mention that anyone should not eat them regardless of the time of day [smile].

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s almost exactly what my wife said, Robbie. I would think, when you go to so much effort to make things like that, you want people to enjoy them. We also let the squirrels forage for regular food as well. They like the peanuts, but they have to know how to survive without us.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I really like your one-liner, Dan, and although I was astonished she’d say so, hers is correct as well. :-) I don’t like most muffins just because they’re so much like cake and so sweet. I happen to have a scone recipe that not only isn’t overly sweet but actually is fairly good for you as it used whole wheat pastry flour and has only a small amount of oil rather than a stick of butter for the entire batch. Never had them turned down when I brought them to work or elsewhere either. Maybe the tart dried cherries and dark chocolate chips keep people from realizing that they’re fairly healthy.

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Just to let you know, Dan, I have my occasional indulgence too as I’ve admitted more than once on my blog. Falling off the keto wagon during the year from hell has been hard on my body and I’m trying to get back in shape, yet I still have to have those date night margaritas 😉 (and chips and salsa)

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Oh wow, what a comeback!! Have to remind myself not to get into a word fight with you! Some people go too far, with being healthy – our bodies can take some unhealthy stuff, as long as we don’t overdo it. I have been eating a lot of cake lately, just because I feel like it, lol. Jesh

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Smokey has such a snazzy overcoat! As for the Muffin ‘police lady’ posing as a chef, she is wrong. Maybe with new age cooks that want to copycat such products that can be found at Starbucks, Coffee houses and many retail bakeries, cake would be an appropriate description. In fact, every time I make muffins now for my grown sons, they always comment how wonderfully full of natural flavor they are and note the drier cakie versions they normally get. AND any baked good is as healthy as you make it. To speak in such a generalized and flippant way to the vulnerable masses is careless and silly. Just two days ago I make Blueberry Muffins that were half oat and half flour. Honey instead of sugar. The house’s worst critic, the 18 mos old, ate three of them, not all at once.🤭😉 So there! Hmphhh…

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Then why are they called muffins and not cupcakes? There was a time when one of my weight loss strategies was that I could only eat sweets with nuts. I think a banana nut bran muffin would be pretty healthy.

    Like

  14. Then why are they called muffins and not cupcakes? There was a time when one of my weight loss strategies was that I could only eat sweets with nuts. I think a banana nut bran muffin would be pretty healthy.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Self-righteous flour! A-HA-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaa! I love it! OF COURSE muffins are cake — unless they’re oatmeal or granola or Muesli or something. Bung in some raisins and stuff. Zucchini muffins are VEGETABLE CAKE. I think I had a point in there somewhere. Maybe Maddie can find it for me.

    Liked by 2 people

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