I’m not going to dip back into Star Trek for my one-liner, but I am reminded of an episode, “Ensigns of Command” in which Captain Picard tells Lt. Commander Data that “excessive honesty can be dangerous in a leader.” I would extend that to include TV cooking show hosts. I’m giving you a twofer today. One from a celebrity chef and a rebuttal from me.
Last week, I was watching PBS’s Christopher Kimball’s Milk Street Television and the show “The new American Bakery.”
This woman was merrily walking through all the steps of making muffins. She was making it look easy, just like all TV chefs who have cleanup crews ready to take over after the muffins are done. Not that I’m planning to make muffins anytime soon – I enjoyed The Editor’s homemade muffins for many years – but I found the show interesting. However, as this woman was ready to place the muffin pan into the oven, she blurted out:
“Just remember, when you choose to eat a muffin, you’re having cake for breakfast.”
As if that wasn’t bad enough, she launched into a mini tirade where she added:
“Americans have convinced themselves that muffins are somehow a healthy alternative. I want to make sure you understand that is not the case. It’s cake.”
Lemmie tell you something else Americans have convinced themselves of – when we fork over a tidy sum every year to support the television network that allows you to make muffins for a living, we don’t need a lecture on nutrition. And now, for my one-liner:
“When you reach for flour, look for self-rising, not self-righteous.”
This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s fun weekly series One-Liner Wednesday. If you would like to join in on the fun, you can follow this link to participate and to see the one-liners from the other participants.
Great one-liner, Dan. I love Panera’s blueberry scones, and I’ve imagined them as a tad more nutritious than other breakfast foods. I have a feeling your baker would set me straight. Bummer. Thank you for sharing your beautiful photos. Smokey’s stance is precious! 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m sure that scone is as healthy as blueberries straight off the vine, Gwen. TV chefs, what do they know? Smokey thanks you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Who needs that much reality? I hope when I take my last breath there is sugar on my breath. :-) Happy Wednesday, and this post came right to my email. Yeah!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yay! That’s one in a row that made it. Hopefully, we can improve on that streak. I laughed out loud at the thought of sugar breath – great line.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Love your one liner Dan❣️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Val!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I refuse to believe muffins aren’t a healthy way to start the day. No one needs a sanctimonious baker. Next thing she’ll be telling us? Cheesecake isn’t a protein. Bah!
waves to bunny on her way out
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ha! You’re right, I know what essential food group cheesecake fall in.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Your response Dan was brilliant! I am tired of people trying to take the joy out of things. Her comment was inappropriate and negative. Not a show I would go back to watch because of that. I look to TV for entertainment, for humour. She could’ve said that line as if it was a joke and we would have all left. But she went down the Darkside. I don’t know who she is and I already don’t like her.
LikeLiked by 2 people
When she said the first line, I thought she might have been trying to make a joke but failed. When she followed it up with that Debbie-downer comment, I changed the channel.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Extra points for today’s one-liner! And what’s wrong with cake for breakfast? Some of my favorite breakfast foods are chocolate cream pie buried under whipped cream, piece of cold pizza, ice cream, cookies (and if I want to have something especially healthy, I make it oatmeal cookies!)
“Maddie’s pattie”…. I love it! I wouldn’t be able to pass MiMi’s tail either without touching it or dusting her off with it! Baby bunny is so cute and your collection of squirrels thrive.
Enjoy this wonderful weather Dan.
Ginger
LikeLiked by 3 people
I love chocolate cream pie, Ginger. That’s a great idea for breakfast. I don’t want to know what this woman would say about pizza. If yo remember, the patio was a Mother’s Day gift for The Editor. Maddie quickly laid claim to it. Our daughter and I planned, purchased, hid stuff away and worked our butts off in the rain to make that thing.
We are enjoying the weather, but I think it’s too early for 86° I hope you have a nice slide into the weekend from here. Let them eat cake!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks for pointing out that people don’t always want to hear that, whether it’s the truth or not. Had it been me hosting the show, I would have MADE healthy muffins to start with, and then say, “There! Now you can have your cake and eat it too!” 😉
LikeLiked by 3 people
Good one Kim! 🤗
Ginger
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks! Dan pointed out a good lesson in his post! Don’t alienate your audience!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Seriously – goes for bloggers too!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Kim. My wife used to make healthy muffins. Although, I’m just as likely to cut one in half and butter both pieces ;-)
It’s not like people make muffins every day. We should be allow to have a little guiltless goodness.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Woah! The smoke plume from that burn can be seen from satellites! Haha! I’m still laughing.
Don’t you just love it when people from other places (or even regions of the same country) think they know all about what we do, think, believe… and eat? And entire regions of the country get blamed for the toxic ideology of a handful of the population? Oh-oh, I’m nipping that rant in the bud.
Gorgeous gallery today too, Dan. MiMi always has a tempting foot or tail. Hugs on the wing.
LikeLiked by 2 people
This blog is a rant-tolerant zone, Teagan. Why show us how to make muffins and then make us feel guilty for eating them? I think her comment was dumb.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Every now and then Marie Antoinette is right – let them eat cake.
LikeLiked by 2 people
This is true, John.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I am not a real morning person and she is gonna lecture about what to eat for breakfast?! I don’t think so. Very good one liner, Dan.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks Lois. No one on this blog is going to lecture you about what you eat or drink.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Love it! Just eat the cake/muffin… just not every day. A little of what you fancy does you good 😁
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks. I like that approach.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Muffins are called cakes in England. Remember muffin tops sold separately?😁 -to me the best part anyway. They also have every possible ingredient already cleaned scrubbed, peeled and measured sitting in front of them🤪
LikeLiked by 2 people
I know. When they need to add a half cup of this, it’s already sitting in a bowl. They combine all the little bowls, that someone else is going to have to wash, and they roll right through the recipe like they invented it.
LikeLiked by 2 people
😄
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fabulous one-liner, Dan. I always hate a reminder that what I’m eating is bad for me. I know it is, but I don’t need someone reminding me. The photos were terrific too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I did once take minor delight in the fact that two glazed donuts at Dunkin’ Donuts had fewer calories and less fat than a coffee cake muffin. But you’re right, don’t spoil my party.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Dan, I love your pictures. The squirrels are too sweet. As for muffins, they are indeed cake, and I make them along with other sweet and delicious treats and I never, ever, mention that anyone should not eat them regardless of the time of day [smile].
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s almost exactly what my wife said, Robbie. I would think, when you go to so much effort to make things like that, you want people to enjoy them. We also let the squirrels forage for regular food as well. They like the peanuts, but they have to know how to survive without us.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I LOVE muffins! I will continue to eat muffins. Great one-liner!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I see nothing wrong with either statement!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amen to that!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Who needs the truth ?
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is ridiculous! I wonder what possessed her?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t know. It might be a fun fact, but id never say it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I really like your one-liner, Dan, and although I was astonished she’d say so, hers is correct as well. :-) I don’t like most muffins just because they’re so much like cake and so sweet. I happen to have a scone recipe that not only isn’t overly sweet but actually is fairly good for you as it used whole wheat pastry flour and has only a small amount of oil rather than a stick of butter for the entire batch. Never had them turned down when I brought them to work or elsewhere either. Maybe the tart dried cherries and dark chocolate chips keep people from realizing that they’re fairly healthy.
janet
LikeLiked by 1 person
My wife worked hard for years to make muffins and other baked goods from better flours and ingredients. Everything was so good, and much better for us than a muffin bought from a coffee shop. I understand that a muffin is cake, but I didn’t need this woman to harp on it like that. Your scones sound delicious.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, homemade muffins can actually be good for you as well as tasty. What????? The scone recipe is from a Moosewood Cookbook recipe which I got permission to share on the blog some years ago. I added the dark chocolate chips. :-)
https://sustainabilitea.wordpress.com/2017/09/05/its-time-for-scones-and-copyright-issues/
LikeLiked by 1 person
Let people think their muffins are healthy! Heavens!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly – we didn’t need this.
LikeLike
Just to let you know, Dan, I have my occasional indulgence too as I’ve admitted more than once on my blog. Falling off the keto wagon during the year from hell has been hard on my body and I’m trying to get back in shape, yet I still have to have those date night margaritas 😉 (and chips and salsa)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I haven’t had chips and salsa in a long time. I was getting too comfortable opening those bags and jars. Then again, maybe it’s time to rethink that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I missed the memo and had “cake”for breakfast this morning. Chocolate zucchini bread to be specific. With my hot tea 🫖. Sooooo good 👍🏼
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good for you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh wow, what a comeback!! Have to remind myself not to get into a word fight with you! Some people go too far, with being healthy – our bodies can take some unhealthy stuff, as long as we don’t overdo it. I have been eating a lot of cake lately, just because I feel like it, lol. Jesh
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks! I do enjoy cake. I don’t eat a lot, but I’m not going to feel bad about it.
LikeLike
Smokey has such a snazzy overcoat! As for the Muffin ‘police lady’ posing as a chef, she is wrong. Maybe with new age cooks that want to copycat such products that can be found at Starbucks, Coffee houses and many retail bakeries, cake would be an appropriate description. In fact, every time I make muffins now for my grown sons, they always comment how wonderfully full of natural flavor they are and note the drier cakie versions they normally get. AND any baked good is as healthy as you make it. To speak in such a generalized and flippant way to the vulnerable masses is careless and silly. Just two days ago I make Blueberry Muffins that were half oat and half flour. Honey instead of sugar. The house’s worst critic, the 18 mos old, ate three of them, not all at once.🤭😉 So there! Hmphhh…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha – take that TV chef lady. I just thought it was a stupid thing to say.
Smokey is a dapper squirrel 😏
LikeLike
Then why are they called muffins and not cupcakes? There was a time when one of my weight loss strategies was that I could only eat sweets with nuts. I think a banana nut bran muffin would be pretty healthy.
LikeLike
Then why are they called muffins and not cupcakes? There was a time when one of my weight loss strategies was that I could only eat sweets with nuts. I think a banana nut bran muffin would be pretty healthy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I would agree, JoAnna. And, if you enjoyed it, who cares? It’s not like you’re eating a dozen a day.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Self-righteous flour! A-HA-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaa! I love it! OF COURSE muffins are cake — unless they’re oatmeal or granola or Muesli or something. Bung in some raisins and stuff. Zucchini muffins are VEGETABLE CAKE. I think I had a point in there somewhere. Maybe Maddie can find it for me.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’ll bring her a muffin and let her sniff it. Muffins can be cake all they want. but I don’t need some snooty chef making me feel guilty for eating the very thing she’s teaching me to make.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It IS kind of insult to injury, isn’t it?
LikeLiked by 1 person
If there is anything wrong with eating cake for breakfast, it eludes me. My mother would argue for pie, but she was more into fruit.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pie for breakfast would be hard to pass up. But nothing wrong with cake.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This made me laugh. However – negative people annoy me. Muffins bring joy, as does cake. I’ll have both. Walk a little longer that day.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Given the limited number of things that bring joy, Audrey, I’ll follow your lead. I can always walk a little farther.
LikeLike
I started laughing out loud after reading your post…scared my wife. No truer words have been spoken!! Love the pictures!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m sorry to scare your wife, but I’m glad you enjoyed this, Kirt.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ooo, you packed a punch in the one liner. Well done! Your photo gallery is beautiful!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I really didn’t think she needed to explain the fact that muffins are cake. Thanks Jennie.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly! She didn’t. Perfect one liner.
LikeLiked by 1 person