Dan Antion

One Thin Mint – #1LinerWeds

Yesterday, I read a post by my long-time blog buddy Ruth. Her post is a fun read, you might want to give it a look. You can go, I’ll wait here.

At the end of Ruth’s post, she mentioned the Monty Python Movie “The Meaning of Life.” The scene she mentioned might be a little too gross if you’re reading early, or late for that matter – I’ll summarize. A character in the movie, Mr. Creosote is an extremely large man. He enters a restaurant and eats everything on the menu. When asked if he wants dessert, he declines, humorously suggesting that if he ate another bite, he would explode. The waiter responds, “perhaps one thin mint?” Mr. Creosote accepts the mint, eats it, and explodes. And, no, that wasn’t the part that was too gross.

What does this have to do with one-liner Wednesday?

In 1987, when I was a consultant with Coopers and Lybrand, currently PriceWaterhouseCoopers, the firm was engaged (that’s what they called it) to provide expert testimony in a civil suit alleging damages caused by a minicomputer. The business that supplied the minicomputer was owned by our office’s largest client. Unlike the expert witnesses you see on TV shows, I got to visit Orlando, Florida for two or three days every week between April and October. Those are the months when people who have winter homes in Florida return to places like Main and Wisconsin.

I spent my time in Florida interrogating a Data General Nova Eclipse minicomputer. Every other week, I reported my findings to the attorney representing our common client. I didn’t know it at the time, but in early October, I was to be deposed. The attorney, Don W. was making notes of things I found that he thought would be important. I’ll spare you the fascinating results of my six months of digital digging, and fast-forward to October.

The night before my deposition, during dinner, Don asked me if I was familiar with “The Meaning of Life.” I told him I was. Before we left the restaurant, Don gave me my final instructions. The one-liner is in here.

“During the deposition, when the other attorney or their expert is asking you questions, I am not allowed to talk to you. You, however, are allowed to request a break. If I want to talk to you, I’m going to tap your leg with the eraser of this pencil, and you will immediately request a break.” He tapped my thigh to demonstrate.

“If you do not request a break after I tap your leg with the eraser, I’m going to turn the pencil over and jam it into your thigh.”

When we were about two hours into the deposition, the plaintiff’s expert, a professor from Louisiana State University (LSU) who looked like Mr. Creosote, started asking me a line of questions and then twisting my words as I answered. I was getting frustrated. Don tapped my leg. I kept talking. Don turned the pencil over. I requested a break. Don leaned over and told me to look at the opposing expert. I turned and looked. He whispered, “one thin mint.” The image of the man in the movie exploding was just what I needed to calm down. I doubt my laughter was welcome, but…

This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s fun weekly series One-Liner Wednesday. If you would like to join in on the fun, you can follow this link to participate and to see the one-liners from the other participants.

It’s cold when we’re walking these mornings.
We think that’s Mrs. Smokey. How could you resist that face?
Of course I caved in and gave her a peanut.
After our walk, Maddie wanted to keep her vest on.
Frozen puddle
Our shadows are in there
Common sight around here.
The best thing about winter is the sunsets we can see through the bare trees.
Baby Smoke’s cousin, Baby Sam.
This burning bush is finally giving up its leaves
It’s either Baby Smoke or a rat
Flying high and proud
No one is playing at 20°f (-7°c)
Yep – they’re gone (the leaves)
Our recent full moon. The clouds cleared the day after the eclipse.
Sunrise over the park

58 comments

  1. OMG! Today’s one-liner still has me laughing out loud! Who knew lawyers had such a sense of humor. Hmmmm, on second thought, he probably wasn’t kidding! You’ve certainly had an interesting career Dan.

    Mrs. Smokey is too cute peeking out of the woodpile. I’m just not ready for frozen puddles yet Dan. I love that Maddie likes to keep her vest on. Baby Sam needs some help to cover up his rat tail. So please sew a sock onto his tail until his grows in! Seriously! 🤗

    Old Glory just never takes a bad picture, does she? Great capture of the moon.

    Ginger

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    • Ruth’s post reminded me of that lawyer. He was one of the most interesting men I’ve ever worked with. I have two more one-liners to share from him, Ginger, He did indeed have a sense of humor.

      Mrs/ Smokey is an unwelcome guest in the Editor’s log tack, and the “portholes” she and others have chewed into the covers are equally unwelcome. But, she is a cutie, and the Editor also left her some peanuts. Squirrels don’t breed at this time of year, or at least that’s what the book says. Baby Smoke/Sam seem to suggest a different story.

      Old Glory blowing in a 20-degrees breeze was good to see, but I had to remove my glove to get the picture. “Wait until it’s warmer” is a phrase lost on the local redhead.

      I’ll be hosting Thursday Doors tomorrow But if I don’t see you, have a Happy Thanksgiving!

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  2. Fabulous moon shot!!! I have been deposed several times because of my HR position, and it’s not something I’d ever willingly do again. The first time I was asked to sit as part of the legal team, no one told me not to speak. I spoke. The one and only time after the lawyer skewered me with a glance and told me to refrain from commenting. It’s like a game of chess. I visited Ruth. I can relate to several posts and I liked her writing style, but have to be honest. I follow two long-time bloggers who post daily but do not sign up for any new ones who write daily. It results in too much computer time and not enough life time for me anyway. :-)

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    • No need to explain, Judy. I understand. I’ve been with Ruth forever. In my case, she’s keeping me from following others.

      Lawyers and depositions were a part of life I could have gone without experiencing first hand. At least this lawyer was fun to be around. I have a few more bits of his wisdom to share.

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  3. My favorite part of all this is laughing at the wrong time. Isn’t that one of the priceless moments of life? I have no experience with any of the rest, but I sure know about such laughing. The most hilarious things seemed always to happen in church in the middle of the sermon. The more you shouldn’t laugh, the funnier things are. You certainly had a very demanding career; it’s no wonder you keep so busy now — you can’t stop! Gorgeous capture of the moon! A very happy Thanksgiving to you and your family! Obviously Maddie is already dressed for festivities.

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    • Thanks Maureen. Inappropriate laughter has gotten me in trouble, but it has also kept me from taking life too seriously. Yes, I’ve laughed in church and I’ve heard the question, “would you care to explain what you think is funny about this Mr. Antion?”

      Maddie is crying to go for her walk. I’m trying to wait until it’s at least 25 degrees/

      Happy Thanksgiving!

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  6. 😂😂😂Now that’s funny. This whacked out family loves that film. I love the talking fish. My but you have led a very interesting life, Dan. You should write a memoir someday. And I know what likely made Mr Louisiana Creosote so huge and it wasn’t one thin mint. Lol. Baby Sam looks like he has a rat tail! The moon photo is lovely. . It was cloudy here during the entire time so I never got a clear view of the events. Glad your clouds have cleared up. Darn, now I’m craving Peppermint Patties.

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    • Thanks Cheryl. Both Baby Smoke and Sam still have their little rat tails, but they are starting to fill out a bit. I didn’t get a photo of the eclipse, but I have proof the moon survived the process. I do feel like I had an interesting life (so far) but at the time, it was just a way of making a living. I hope you get your Peppermint Patties :)

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  7. People who laugh at the ‘wrong’ times are just what we need to take it down a notch. I would have busted up with you. Mrs Smokey is so cute and baby Sam looks like he’s freezing! He needs to get under that cover with her…you know–make the hole bigger so everyone can take shelter. 😄 Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family, Dan.

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    • I have always been one to try to see (or provide) the humor in situations, even if it’s the wrong time.

      The hole is big enough, thank you. The Editor is not happy with these moms and the renovations they’ve made to her log-rack covers. Mrs. Smokey is at one end and Mrs. Sammy is at the other. I read about squirrels and baby squirrels. The article said, “after getting the female pregnant, the male has very little to do with the process going forward.” That at least garnered some sympathy (and a remark about human males) from the Editor. Happy Thanksgiving wishes back at you, Lois.

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  8. Would you care to explain what is so funny ? Sure. But the real question is would you care to hear it here and now ? And gracefully leave out the comment on the current line of discourse. Oh and don’t forget to offer that chocolate mint…

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  9. Wow, Dan, your one-liner is perfect. It conjures all sorts of memories and brings laughter into the scenes. Depositions are horrid, actually, the process is horrid. I suspect you handled it all very well. As always, I love your photos. I hope you and yours have a wonderful Thanksgiving. 😊

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  10. The deposition process was awful, Gwen, When I saw how many times the reported included ‘ah’ and ‘um’ I went back to Toastmasters. It lasted almost the entire day, and we didn’t even stop for lunch. They brought sandwiches and sodas into the room (I could have used something more powerful).

    I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

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  12. I thought your post was going to be about Girl Scout cookies, but Monte Python is good too. I haven’t watched the movie in many years, so perhaps I need a refresher. I like your attorney – he certainly had a sense of humor.

    Happy Wednesday and have a Happy Thanksgiving, Dan.

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    • Thanks Mary. I wouldn’t recommend watching before or while preparing dinner.

      This guy was so much fun to work with. I’m going to share a few more of his one-liners now that Ruth jogged my memory.

      I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving, too.

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  13. LOL!!! Oh my that’s hilarious!

    I love that Moon shot. It was cloudy here too the night/morning of the eclipse, but there was a big clear spot to the west. I just needed to stay awake to photograph the peak then go to bed. While watching TV to try to stay awake I fell asleep and missed it! DOH!

    I love those long shadows at the park, and the single leaf shadow that does look like a rat, and the backlit flag is lovely.

    I can understand why Maddie wants to keep her jacket on a bit after the walk it’s cold out there! We’re in the low twenties when I get up in the mornings too. I’m waiting until it warms up to go for a walk. You two are tough! 😀

    I hope you and the family have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

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    • Thanks Deborah. Maddie is still on DST. She thinks we’re late for our walk at 6:30! I’m trying to get her to wait until close to 8:00 but today she started crying at 7:30. I held out until 7:45 – it was all the way up to 23.

      I woke up and looked out at 4:00 but there was nothing to see.

      I’ve been fascinated by the leaf shadows. I was hesitant to show a rat, but… 🙂

      I hood you guys have a great holiday.

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  16. I loved that movie and used to mention parts of it when times got tough. The one thin mint part I loved was John Cleese running and jumping for cover just before the explosion. One thin mint in our group meant to bug out. (Either physically of mentally) I loved that lawyer. I was also in a deposition on a trademark infringement case we brought agains a company where opposing counsel got so frustrated with my answers he shouted, “You just aren’t very bright are you?” They decided to settle rather than go to court.

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  17. Ha ha ha ha OMG that’s brilliant, Dan – I love real life stories like this, what fun! PS thanks for the shout-out, and I’m so glad to have found another Monty Python fan out there :-)

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  21. That made me laugh, Dan. I love the shot of Maddie bundled in her flannel. I chuckle when seeing ads for flannel PJ’s because I rarely get to use mine here. Happy Thanksgiving. I won’t be joining you for Thursday Doors tomorrow. We’re having my parents and my brother and his family over and I plan to just relax and enjoy once the meal hits the table. :-) I hope you, the Editor, and Faith (?), and the non-human family members all have a wonderful day.

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  24. Hi Dan – gosh it looks cold … I know it’s coming … and we need it – hope it’s not too bad a season. Good for Maddie keeping herself warm … while that moon does look a little chilly. Mrs Smokey – is doing well thanks to you and the editor. Love your story – and am looking forward to the next ones … cheers and hope Thanksgiving was happy and peaceful – Hilary

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