Dan Antion

Open Wide – #1LinerWeds

My dentist and I have a lot of common interests that he may not share with most of his patients. He has often been involved with car repair and home improvement projects. He is familiar with most of the tools I use, and I understand him when he tosses around construction terms like “LVLs” and “a roof with 9/12 pitch.”

He is currently managing the rebuilding of his house after it was destroyed by fire. The process is difficult enough, but the supply chain problems have added many complications. He loves to explain them, and I find them fascinating. Of course, half the time, when he’s telling the story, he has his hands and a bunch stuff in my mouth.

Yesterday, as we were waiting for the Novocain to take effect, he started to tell me about the latest challenge. He apologized to his technician because he had shard the story before. After a few sentences, he said, “…to make a long story short…” and we all broke out in laughter. He and I agreed that.

“Making a long story short is something we say, it’s not something we do.”

This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s fun weekly series One-Liner Wednesday. If you have a one-liner, or if you would like to join in on the fun, you can follow this link to participate and to see the one-liners from the other participants.

We’re still catching the flag during sunrise. Pretty soon, we’ll be too late for this view.
The abundance of forsythia photos is due to the fact that the blossoms won’t last long.
Baby Smoke. His tail might be getting a little fluffy, and he seems to have a good deal of brown.
Forsythia shining on a rainy day.
I think she’s pregnant.
Quince blossom.
Bunny, seeking out the patches that have gotten green.
Lily-of-the-Valley plants are off to the races.
Some of the bulbs survived the winter, the chipmunk and the bunny.
These are some of the earliest blooming trees in our area.
This weeping willow is growing in a swampy area near the entrance to Waterworks Park.
We are now seeing some color on our walks.
Public Works has begun mowing the ball fields.
This guy is loaded with pine cones.
One maple tree is getting an early start.
This little guy kept his head from view.

66 comments

  2. Those blossoming trees are so welcome! I do love the silhouettes of the bare trees, but not forever! As for dentists, they have the original captive audience; long stories and bad jokes are their specialties. We’re trapped. I don’t doubt, though, that he talks your language; a good dentist knows how things fit and work together. And making long stories short? That’s a much-desired skill for others, yes? — never for our own stories! I’ve known one or two people with an amazing capacity for making a short story long. (Never me, of course.) As writers, we do ponder this.

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    • I can making shot story long. I love this guy’s stories, and unless he has a patient waiting in the lobby, I hang around and talk to him after my appointment is over. I love knowing how all his stuff works. The stories of the reconstruction of his house are sad, funny, and often make me angry on his behalf. I don’t want a simple exchange of information – I want a story!

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  3. Love the one-liner! However, “as we were waiting for the Novocain to take effect” gave me a toothache! Been there, done that! 🤗 I think Reader’s Digest editors are the only people in the world who can actually make a long story short!

    Another nice shot of Old Glory! All your spring blossoms are looking mighty pretty. Yep, that looks like one pregnant squirrel. You and the Editor will need more peanuts. The blue sky behind the beautiful robin is magnificent.

    Happy Hump Day Dan.
    Ginger

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    • Sorry about the toothache. Writing the word ‘novocain’ made me cringe.

      I read once that momma squirrels make their kids go find a new place to live. I’m not sure that happens here.

      We are clearly in spring, but it’s cold and raw this morning.

      Have a good middle of the week, Ginger.

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  8. I suppose when you’re as good a carpenter as you are, you tend to get a lot of questions and stories from people trying to do the same.
    Your bulbs survived. The only ones of mine are the new gladiolas I planted. My amaryllises only got 4 flowers out the whole batch and the tulips & iris have disappeared.

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    • I do enjoy the stories, GP. Construction changes all the time. New materials and techniques. The challenges of the shortages of everything. It’s been a wild ride for him, but it has been interesting. I hope these builds open up at some point. Sorry about yours. We’re they eaten or just didn’t survive?

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  9. LOL! Isn’t that the truth! It’s just so darn hard to have a conversation with the dentist or hygienist! 🤣

    Your Forsythia is so pretty and so are the red and pink blooming trees in your neighborhood.
    I am looking forward to seeing your Lily’s of the Valley in bloom. I’ve got to get to the garden center. This is the year I plant something in those two post I purchased not too long after we moved in. I’m waiting for it to stop snowing. 😀 Hopefully, this last storm is the last of it for the season.

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    • I do like his stories. This time, I even hung around for about 10 minutes before his next patient so he could finish. Otherwise is mumbling “uh huh” and trying not to nod.

      The lily of the valley plants were all removed from an area where I put pavers. I never thought they would even survive being transplanted, let alone spread a and thrive They are so pretty when they bloom, and we’ve never had much luck getting anything to survive in this narrow space.

      I hope it stops snowing soon.

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  10. I love when people get halfway through their story and then say, ‘To make a long story short…’ Makes me laugh every time. The dental hygienists stay so covered up with masks and gloves and eye protection, and I have had the chattiest two who I can barely understand through all the garb, but I keep making those ‘Ok’ sounds while they clean my teeth. 😁

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    • Mhuhuh – yeah, that’s my part of the conversation while he’s working. I do like his stories, though. When he said that phrase, we just all laughed. He took his hands out of my mouth for a minute and I asked, “when have either of us ever done that?”

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  12. Hi Dan – brilliant and how lovely to have such a great dentist. Some friends’ son-in-law is a house-master teacher, and they’ve just bought a house that they’re renovating … his MIL said she thought he was going to move across in due time to that sort of work – he’s obviously very talented. Self-taught and one sees quite a lot of it on Youtube via the tv … I’m always amazed – but good for them.

    The grounds and gardens are coming back to colourful life aren’t they … is he a rat, or a squirrel?? Reminds me of the time with my goddaughter (aged ? – granted youngish!) … driving her home one day and commenting on the poodles in the field – she had a good look and mumbled oh yes – her aunt has black, or tan poodles – after a few seconds … I reminded her they were sheep – she was highly embarrassed and has not been allowed to forget the day!! Cheers Hilary

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    • That’s funny about the poodles, Hilary. This little guy is a squirrel. He has the articulating feet that gives squirrels their uncanny ability to climb up and down trees. He holds and eats the peanuts the way the squirrels do, and he share their nests. He;s just a mess.

      Spring is coming to life here, but it’s gotten cold again, and wet. People working int the trades as well as people having work done are struggling to keep things on track over here. I hope it works better for your friends.

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  13. I love your one line today, Dan. It is so true. I love when my dentist asks me something while my mouth is stuffed. The dawn photo of the flag will be a nice memory. The rest of the photos shows a lot of spring around there.

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  16. Good point about those long stories. Making one short is not often what we do but often what our listeners wish we would. Beautiful pink blooms on that tree. I can see why someone planted it where they did.

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  19. How nice to start seeing some color on your walks. The episode with the dentist made me chuckle. It cracks me up when they want to start talking after your mouth is full of contraptions. :)

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  21. Excellent one-liner, Dan, and applicable to too many people who think they can. :-) Our dentist back in Ohio always wanted to talk politics but as you say, I usually wasn’t in a position to answer immediately. My cleanings probably took longer than usual because we had to talk between sections of the work.

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  23. I like distracting stories at the dentist, especially distractions from needles which I’ve always hated. When you’re a captive audience, it also helps that the chairs are usually comfy.

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