I have to give inspirational credit for this post to Brad Lewis and Marian Allen. Brad for funny and Marian for serious. And then there’s Linda G. Hill, who gave us the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt. David and I and Skippy because when there’s Brad, there should be Skippy, will try to weave the prompt into our discussion as we relax at the bar. Linda’s prompt is:
“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is ‘hat.’ Use it literally or metaphorically. Have fun!”
And don’t forget to check out Linda’s new book release.
If we were having a beer, you’d want to know about my lawn.
“Hi David. You’re running a little late today.”
“I was here on time, Dan, but there’s no parking.”
“Yeah, I think I got the last spot.”
“You could have parked on the street and saved that for me.”
“It wouldn’t have been there. There’s a big party in the lounge that’s spilling out onto the patio.”
“And yet the bar is empty. Maybe it’s you, Dan. Did you have time to shower?”
“I did, and as soon as Skippy gets back with my beer, I’ll treat you to a John Howell’s Special.”
“Skippy?”
“Yes, Cheryl’s working the lounge. They have a small bar set up on the patio.”
“Ugh. Why couldn’t they put Skippy out there?”
“Because Cheryl has seniority, David. Trust me, I’d much rather be raking in those tips than yours.”
“I’m buying today, Skippy.”
“Phew. That’s good news. Here’s your Corona, Dan. David, the usual curious mix of glassware and products?”
“Yes, please, and try to get the cherries in the bourbon.”
“No problem.”
“So, David. Why were you asking me if I had time to shower?”
“First off, you’re wearing your Pirates hat. I figure that’s because you’re hair’s a mess.”
“No. I meant to leave it in the car. I wear it because, with so little hair, I get sunburned.”
“Also, I saw your lawn as I drove over here. I assume your mower broke and, knowing you, I further assumed you were trying to fix it right up until it was time to leave.”
“You know what they say about ‘when you assume,’ right?”
“Yes, yes, but I know you pretty well. You can’t leave a broken mechanical thing alone. You are driven to try and fix things.”
“Here’s your bourbon, David. And your seltzer and your ice. Did you want cherries?”
“Sigh…yes Skippy, in the bourbon, like I asked.”
“No problem.”
“I do try to fix some things when they break, David, but I’m not sure I’d say am ‘driven’ to do so.”
“Dan, didn’t you once brag about fixing an eight-dollar transistor radio?”
“Here’s your cherries, David. You guys crack me up when you add ‘transistor’ to the word radio. I mean, like there’s some other kind.”
“There was another kind when we grew up, Skippy.”
“What? Like with tubes and stuff?”
“Yes, tubes and stuff. Just like in our TVs.”
“That was my wife’s weather radio. I did fix it, and she still has it.”
“You could have just bought her a new one. It probably cost less than this bourbon you bought me.”
“I did buy her a new one, but it had alerts you couldn’t configure or turn off. It blared out a warning every time there was thunderstorm nearby.”
“You guys know you can program all of that on your phone these days, right?”
“Yes, Skippy. But you know, we’re old and eccentric.”
“Whatever.”
“So, Dan. What did happen with your mower?”
“Nothing, David. I don’t understand why you think it’s broken. I got it all cleaned and ready to roll a couple of weeks ago. I even sharpened the blade. It runs fine.”
“Well, your yard looks like it died halfway through the job.”
“I don’t understand.”
“High spots. There’s junk sticking up all over the place. Big tall weeds, patches of crazy purple stuff and some weird looking broad leafy stuff.”
“Wild violets, bugleweed and plantain. The bees, birds and bunnies love that stuff.”
“So, you mow around it?”
“Yep.”
“Dan, that’s crazy.”
“I don’t think so. In fact, it’s refreshing to see old people who actually care about things like bees.”
“Excuse me, Skippy, old people?”
“Sorry, David, but you know, people who were born before transistors. You’re usually the ones spreading poison all over plants like that.”
“Odd that you know so much about lawn care, Skippy. Don’t you live in an apartment building?”
“I do, but while I was going to bartending school, I worked for one of those lawn care companies. The kind you subscribe to. I had a route where I sprayed crap all over these pristine lawns – all old folks like you guys.”
“I don’t know what’s harder to believe, that you care about the environment, or that you went to bartending school.”
“Easy, David. Skippy, how about another round, and maybe show us what you have for specials today.”
No Facilities 
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