I Went to School for This? – #SoCS

I have to give inspirational credit for this post to Brad Lewis and Marian Allen. Brad for funny and Marian for serious. And then there’s Linda G. Hill, who gave us the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt. David and I and Skippy because when there’s Brad, there should be Skippy, will try to weave the prompt into our discussion as we relax at the bar. Linda’s prompt is:

“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is ‘hat.’ Use it literally or metaphorically. Have fun!”

And don’t forget to check out Linda’s new book release.

If we were having a beer, you’d want to know about my lawn.

“Hi David. You’re running a little late today.”

“I was here on time, Dan, but there’s no parking.”

“Yeah, I think I got the last spot.”

“You could have parked on the street and saved that for me.”

“It wouldn’t have been there. There’s a big party in the lounge that’s spilling out onto the patio.”

“And yet the bar is empty. Maybe it’s you, Dan. Did you have time to shower?”

“I did, and as soon as Skippy gets back with my beer, I’ll treat you to a John Howell’s Special.”

“Skippy?”

“Yes, Cheryl’s working the lounge. They have a small bar set up on the patio.”

“Ugh. Why couldn’t they put Skippy out there?”

“Because Cheryl has seniority, David. Trust me, I’d much rather be raking in those tips than yours.”

“I’m buying today, Skippy.”

“Phew. That’s good news. Here’s your Corona, Dan. David, the usual curious mix of glassware and products?”

“Yes, please, and try to get the cherries in the bourbon.”

“No problem.”

“So, David. Why were you asking me if I had time to shower?”

“First off, you’re wearing your Pirates hat. I figure that’s because you’re hair’s a mess.”

“No. I meant to leave it in the car. I wear it because, with so little hair, I get sunburned.”

“Also, I saw your lawn as I drove over here. I assume your mower broke and, knowing you, I further assumed you were trying to fix it right up until it was time to leave.”

“You know what they say about ‘when you assume,’ right?”

“Yes, yes, but I know you pretty well. You can’t leave a broken mechanical thing alone. You are driven to try and fix things.”

“Here’s your bourbon, David. And your seltzer and your ice. Did you want cherries?”

“Sigh…yes Skippy, in the bourbon, like I asked.”

“No problem.”

“I do try to fix some things when they break, David, but I’m not sure I’d say am ‘driven’ to do so.”

“Dan, didn’t you once brag about fixing an eight-dollar transistor radio?”

“Here’s your cherries, David. You guys crack me up when you add ‘transistor’ to the word radio. I mean, like there’s some other kind.”

“There was another kind when we grew up, Skippy.”

“What? Like with tubes and stuff?”

“Yes, tubes and stuff. Just like in our TVs.”

“That was my wife’s weather radio. I did fix it, and she still has it.”

“You could have just bought her a new one. It probably cost less than this bourbon you bought me.”

“I did buy her a new one, but it had alerts you couldn’t configure or turn off. It blared out a warning every time there was thunderstorm nearby.”

“You guys know you can program all of that on your phone these days, right?”

“Yes, Skippy. But you know, we’re old and eccentric.”

“Whatever.”

“So, Dan. What did happen with your mower?”

“Nothing, David. I don’t understand why you think it’s broken. I got it all cleaned and ready to roll a couple of weeks ago. I even sharpened the blade. It runs fine.”

“Well, your yard looks like it died halfway through the job.”

“I don’t understand.”

“High spots. There’s junk sticking up all over the place. Big tall weeds, patches of crazy purple stuff and some weird looking broad leafy stuff.”

“Wild violets, bugleweed and plantain. The bees, birds and bunnies love that stuff.”

“So, you mow around it?”

“Yep.”

“Dan, that’s crazy.”

“I don’t think so. In fact, it’s refreshing to see old people who actually care about things like bees.”

“Excuse me, Skippy, old people?”

“Sorry, David, but you know, people who were born before transistors. You’re usually the ones spreading poison all over plants like that.”

“Odd that you know so much about lawn care, Skippy. Don’t you live in an apartment building?”

“I do, but while I was going to bartending school, I worked for one of those lawn care companies. The kind you subscribe to. I had a route where I sprayed crap all over these pristine lawns – all old folks like you guys.”

“I don’t know what’s harder to believe, that you care about the environment, or that you went to bartending school.”

“Easy, David. Skippy, how about another round, and maybe show us what you have for specials today.”

70 comments

  1. A most enjoyable bar visit, Dan. I would also mow around the bee and bunny food. We have lots of flowers in our garden which is large and we have loads of bees. No bunnies, but lots of birds. Big, fat ones from eating all my fruit (haha). I love that mural under the bridge.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m glad you liked this, Robbie. I’m giggling at the thought of big fat birds overeating your fruit 😊. The animals have lost so much habitat here, as they convert more and more farmland to warehouses. Our town bought one of the last remaining parcels of woods, and is going to leave it in its natural state. I was very happy to vote in favor of that purchase.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Great photos as always, love the mural especially. I am am glad you are ecologically sound and look after nature we are the same here.
    I wonder why David is so Kranky? He must be missing Cheryl 😉💜💜

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks Judy. The photos make it look better than it really is, but the bees and bunnies don’t care much about aesthetics. Just leave the blossoms. I hope you’re having a nice weekend.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Once again, I thank you for the laugh. I had a couple dignified chuckles here and there, but when I got to the part about “people who were born before transistors,” I lost all dignity. That was a real LOL. Overall, a masterpiece of sarcasm. The rhododendrons are beautiful, but, oh, those white lilacs!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m glad you enjoyed this. Brad Lewis is Skippy’s biggest fan, so I had to let him get a nice jab in. The White lilacs are the stars on stage in the spring. I hope you have a great weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Lol! Another enjoyable conversation to eavesdrop on at the bar!

    LOVE the mural under the bridge! Bunny is adorable and Smokey looks like he’s pretending to be a bear. 🤗 That’s a great shot of the sprinkler. You can never go wrong with Old Glory. My Rhododendrons are not blossoming yet. Soon though. 🤞

    Enjoy this sunny, rainy, cloudy, thundering weekend Dan. Weather forecasts have become a little bit of everything.
    Ginger

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks Ginger. Smokey does look like a little bear, and he looks ready to fight for a peanut. I have pictures of the mural while they were painting it. I was hoping to get a nice full view, now that it’s finished, but people from the nearby office building like to park there for the shade. I guess I have to drive over on a weekend.

      We walked early, and we walked slow. It was already icky-humid. There’s no eavesdropping at the bar. If you’re there. You’re part of the conversation 😏

      I hope you can stay warm/dry/cool this weekend. I’m sure Skippy would just say “whatever” while the know in David’s stomach tightens a bit.

      Like

  5. ‘Old people’? Good thing I was outside and didn’t hear that one. We love old radios. I remember my younger brother getting radio kits growing up. A board with tubes and wires. And there’s the proverbial potato radio! We love ‘old’ electronic things.. and furniture.. clothing.. automobiles.. because they were made and functioned well.
    I love wall art, especially under bridges and in tunnels. There was a lot of it in Atlanta. All the flowering trees look beautiful. Can’t wait for the Rose of Sharon. 🙂Happy weekend, Dan.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I figured it was good to keep you at a distance from Skippy when that remark came out ;-)

      The old weather radio is so much easier to deal with than the newer one or programming alerts on your phone. Most days, there’s nothing to do. If we have a storm coming, turn it on, get information and alerts if necessary and done. Built before people felt the need to be connected to everything 24/7.

      I have to go back to that bridge on a day when the cars aren’t parked there. I have in-progress pictures, but I don’t have a good picture of the finished product.

      I hope you have a great weekend, Cheryl. Give our best to hubs!

      Like

  6. Great time at the bar as always, Dan. Bravo for leaving a bit of sustenance for the creatures. When my 4 year old granddaughter was here we were walking up the hill to our house – with her in the lead of course. I said “I feel like an old lady” to which she replied “you ARE an old lady”. Ha! Out of the truthful mouths of children. I love the colors in the artwork on the underpass.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks! The bees love the flowering ground cover. You can hear them buzzing as soon as you step outside. They are so focused, they don’t even mind when we walk by. We also have a patch of Bee Balm that has shot up about 8-12″. When that’s in bloom, they swarm to it. At this point, anything we can do to help them is worth doing.

      Like

  7. I laughed out loud at: ““Yes, Skippy. But you know, we’re old and eccentric.” Love how the banter has developed between you three. And I love your photos. That mystery plant reminds me of a hydrangea. Thank you for leaving natural patches for the animals!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. David and Skippy…they crack me up. David has no filter sometimes and Skippy seems oblivious. And he went to bartending school…who knew??
    The plant by the park entrance looks like Oakleaf Hydrangea. I have several huge plants in my backyard. I think they are prettier than ‘snowball’ hydrangea.
    Smokey is so darn cute! We have three squirrels that play in our backyard, much to the cats chagrin. And the little stinkers stare at the cats as they eat and toss the leftovers on the retaining wall. Such entertainment for us ‘old people!’ 😆

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks to you and JoAnna for helping identify the plant. I had looked up hydrangea, but I guess all the photos I saw were the snowball variety. I didn’t know there was more than one. There’s a lot we don’t know about Skippy. I like it that way, as he can fit into more situations. The squirrels are entertaining. I hope you have a nice weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

    • I have to admit taking some liberties with the facts here. I know there are places people go to get trained.

      The lilacs are beginning to fade now. I hope yours wake up soon.

      Like

  9. More beautiful spring photos today and David was really “real” there at the end. :-) But for those of us in the Southwest, would you define the term “lawn?” I think I knew about them at one point in my life but the last several years seem to have dried out my brain. I’m not even going to go to the spreading poison on the yards issue!! Makes me crazy and cranky like David. :-)

    Liked by 1 person

  10. The pictures of the Rhododendron and the lilac are so crisp I can almost smell them! And Dan, we are not old we are well seasoned with a touch of piquant. Skippy needs to be made into peanut butter…

    Liked by 1 person

  11. LOL – yard care that supports the bees and the critters to keep them outside in their normal area is so kind of you.
    When I was little my dad did that, he always loved what we call Indian Paintbrushes. There was always a big patch with long grass surrounding it. I don’t know if that’s their real name or not? He had lots of ‘names’ for things, i.e., Pasture Pool for golf. He’s one of those old folks that could/can ruffle feathers with his names. Yikes! Thank you – the flag’s appearance has returned! 😁🥰 Great photos – I hope you have a wonderful week.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I bought a new radio that looked like an old radio because I like the way old radios (cathedral style) look. I was pretty steamed when I turned it on, and all I could get was modern programming!

    Liked by 1 person

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