This has been a very busy week around our house, so Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt is fitting and should be easy to bat around while having a beer. David and I are going to relax at the bar while we discuss:
“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is ‘home.’ Use it as a noun, a verb, an adjective, or an adverb. Enjoy!”
If we were having a beer, I’d have to bone up on that tricky concept of ‘adverbs of place’ or some such thing.
“Cheryl, have you seen David?”
“I have not, Dan. Maybe he’s staying home today.”
“No way, it’s my turn to buy. He probably homing in on this location as we speak.”
“Well, I’ll get a beer, so you can get started. Corona bottle or Modelo draft?”
“Draft me!”
“Draft me? That’s the phrase I was hoping to avoid when I joined the Air Force.”
“Hi David. Better late than never. But I though you were in the Coast Guard.”
“Hi David. John Howell’s Bourbon today? I thought you were in the Coast Guard, too.”
“Bourbon, Cheryl. I’ve told both stories, but I’m not senile, I was in both services.”
“Well then, your first bourbon in on the house.”
“But it’s Dan’s day to buy.”
“David, if I wait a week, I’ll forget. Free bourbon or not?”
“Here’s an idea. You buy this week; collect your free bourbon and I’ll buy next week.”
“Like I said, I’m not senile. That math doesn’t work, Dan. You can buy, but I’ll hit you up for a bowl of soup before I head for home.”
“Here you go, Modelo and bourbon. Enjoy.”
“Cheers, Cheryl.”
“Cheers, and thanks. So, Dan, what have you been up to this week. Did you finish your fence.”
“Yes and no.”
“Dan….”
“I know, you hate that answer. Of course, knowing that only makes me want to have a reason to use it, and in this case, it works.”
“How can yes and no work?”
“The fence is finished, but the fence project is not. If you recall, the fence project includes a removable roof support to keep the snow and ice from crushing the compressor in the winter. I haven’t started on that part. By the way, why were you late?”
“I stopped at Target. That place is a mess.”
“Dirty?”
“No, they have stock all over the place. They appear to be switching from Halloween to Christmas. I couldn’t even get what I went for because the aisle was blocked with carts to be unloaded.”
“I heard they can’t get people to work.”
“They certainly can’t get cashiers, or so they say. In any case, there were no human-staffed checkout lines open.”
“Or so they say…? Do I heard a conspiracy theory coming, David?”
“I think a lot of these places are milking these whole pandemic-related staff shortages, supply chain issues and inflation, as a means of padding the bottom line.”
“Well, I know it’s the case for Home Depot. Their twenty-twenty-two profits are up over twenty-twenty-one, which was a record year. And I know one reason.”
“Higher prices in the fence aisle, Dan?”
“Higher prices and cheaper material.”
“Cheaper? In what way?”
“Thinner. I needed to pin the fence fabric in place, so I could stretch it out and measure the sections I needed. I used the old tension bars. I stuck two in the ground, at one end of the fence.”
“Cheryl, could we get another round. Dan is entering the story dimension.”
“This is important to understand, David.”
“It’s only important if I care, Dan.”
“Yes, but it supports your conspiracy theory.”
“Then, by all means, continue.”
“Where was I?”
“Pinning the fence to the ground. Do NOT start over!”
“OK. Well, later in the project, I needed to support the loose end of a section of fence while I was tightening the bolts on the other end.”
“Go on.”
“I tried to stick a new tension bar in the ground, and it bent.”
“Harder ground?”
“No! Thinner metal. Almost twenty percent thinner.”
“Is that a guess?”
“No, I measured it with a micrometer.”
“Geeze, I guess we need to stop watering down our drinks, he might have a chromatograph in his car. Here’s your pure bourbon and your pure Modelo.”
“She has a point, Dan. Most Home Depot customers don’t check things with a micrometer. Since you did, was that the only thing that was thinner?”
“No. The fence poles and the line pones were also about twenty percent thinner. I couldn’t really check the fence fabric because it’s vinyl coated.”
“So it might be the same thickness because you have more vinyl.”
“Exactly!”
“OK, how ‘bout that soup. Cheryl, what’s the soup special today?”
“Broccoli cheddar.”
“Two bowls please.”
“Here you go guys.”
“Are these new bowls, Cheryl?”
“They are, Dan. We broke too many old ones, and we can’t get that ‘home style’ anymore.”
“Are they the same size as the old ones, Cheryl?”
“Go home, David.”
All five of my current books are now available in audio book form thanks to Amazon KDP’s Virtual Voice process. The voice is AI generated, but I can honestly say, it’s pretty darn good. The audio books are reasonably priced (all below $7 US) and, if you already own the Kindle version and want to add an audio version, you can do that for $1.99. There is a five-minute sample on the book page for each book. If you’re interested, click on any of the Dreamer’s Alliance book links below the image or on the link below for my latest book.
No Facilities 
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