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Random thoughts, life lessons, hopes and dreams.

Um, Excuse Me… – #1LinerWeds

Dan Antion
1 minute
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Healthy choices?
I decided to postpone my walk

My one-liner today comes courtesy of the wife in the couple sitting near me at the bar on Saturday.

Hubs: “I’ll have the Grilled Atlantic Salmon Salad, but no bacon please.”

Wife: “What my husband meant to say is that he’d like the bacon on the side, or on my salad.”

This post is part of Linda G. Hill’s fun weekly series One-Liner Wednesday. If you have a one-liner, or if you would like to join in on the fun, you can follow this link to participate and to see the one-liners from the other participants.

While the snow was just getting started, the little birds were picking up the food we put out.
We toss a No-Waste mix along with some other feed, right on the ground. Everybody can eat.
The squirrels eat the peanuts and bird seed. That’s OK, the blue jays also eat the peanuts.
“Do you also have peanuts?”
The snow stuck to everything
We got just under 6″(15cm) of heavy wet snow.
It always looks good
Once I get to the curb, I clear the entire end of the driveway. It goes faster after that.
Our cypress trees are in there somewhere
Free of their snow load, the cypress bounce back
The porch and the path for deliveries – all clear
I still clear Maddie’s porch.
I hope he’s using the Flagman app
Moving the wires from the old poles to the new ones. No outages yet
I never made it to the park, but the grocery store has a huge flag
Books on Gateway Clipper

Knuckleheads — The Evil You Choose — When Evil Chooses You — Secrets held Against Evil

All five of my current books are now available in audio book form thanks to Amazon KDP’s Virtual Voice process. The voice is AI generated, but I can honestly say, it’s pretty darn good. The audio books are reasonably priced (all below $7 US) and, if you already own the Kindle version and want to add an audio version, you can do that for $1.99. There is a five-minute sample on the book page for each book. If you’re interested, click on any of the Dreamer’s Alliance book links below the image or on the link below for my latest book.

Bridge to Nowhere

58 responses to “Um, Excuse Me… – #1LinerWeds”

  1. bushboy Avatar
    bushboy

    Lovely snowy scenes :)

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      Thanks. I didn’t get out much, so it’s just about all I had to work with.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
  2. Oddment Avatar
    Oddment

    It looks so beautiful, but six inches of wet snow is hard on the back. The snow blower ranks right up there with fire and the wheel on the list of important inventions, doesn’t it? I loved the one-liner! Sometimes an overheard conversation is the best entertainment of the day.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      Everyone who heard her, including the bartender was laughing. The snow blower is a back saver, that’s for sure. I can still wield a shovel, but when the snow is wet, and in addition to being heavy, it sticks to the shovel, it’s not a good thing.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
  3. Rivergirl Avatar
    Rivergirl

    We only got one a bare dusting from that storm. Still haven’t seen anything measurable. It’s weird.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      That is weird. We’re supposed to get rain at the end of the week, so I guess most of this will wash away.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
      1. Rivergirl Avatar
        Rivergirl

        There’s supposed to be a storm moving in here Friday night into Saturday but they can’t decide if it will be rain or snow.

        Liked by 2 people

        Reply
        1. Dan Antion Avatar
          Dan Antion

          We’re supposed to get over an inch of rain from that storm. If you want snow, I hope you’re on that side of the line.

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply
          1. Rivergirl Avatar
            Rivergirl

            I do. Christmas should be white. Especially in Maine.
            ❄️

            Liked by 1 person

            Reply
  4. Judy@NewEnglandGardenAndThread Avatar
    Judy@NewEnglandGardenAndThread

    Tis the season that is for sure. Do you like your snowblower cover? Do you use it every time or just during bad storms? Thanks.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      The cover only gets removed when I take the machine for service. I love it. I typically shovel when we have less than 3″. More than that, I use the machine. The cover is the best on windy days with light snow. I used to be white, from head to toe on those days from the snow blowing back at me, or sideways off the lawn. Now, I’m dry (and I have a cup holder mounted, so I have coffee). The headlight is also mounted on the frame for the cover, although, now that I’m retired, I not often out in the dark.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
  5. Dave Astor Avatar
    Dave Astor

    Hilarious one-liner by the wife! 😂 And your snow photos are excellent, Dan; I especially like the magnificent squirrel shot. :-)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      She cracked the place up with that one, Dave. I’m glad you like the pictures.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  6. circadianreflections Avatar
    circadianreflections

    It looks magical! The birds and critters look like they’re loving that seed.
    I put out the seed and suet feeders in the winter and it never takes long for them to discover them. Now you’ve got me wondering if the woodpecker seed block I put on the ground for the ground feeders is no waste?! I hope so b/c the Quail, Towhees, and even the Sparrows love it.

    I’d take that bacon too! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      We mix the no-waste seed with some other seeds and nut pieces. We also toss out suet chunks. Everybody seem to like it. I like seeing the whole gang gathered on the ground. That woman had us all laughing over the bacon.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  7. Murphy’s Law Avatar
    Murphy’s Law

    Dan, I will be laughing at today’s one-liner for some time to come!

    We got 4-1/2” of heavy wet snow. The photos of the birds foraging for seeds on your lawn could be our lawn. I do the same. We have at least two dozen Mourning Doves, BlueJays and an abundance and variety of small birds. I love watching them.

    I swear I heard Maddie telling Murphy, “Look, my DogDad shoveled my porch!” And Murphy replied, “What?! You had your own porch?”

    Love the Old Glory at your supermarket. We have a Perkins not far from here and they fly a flag that must be the size of Rhode Island. A beautiful sight indeed!

    Ginger

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      That lady had us all laughing at the bar, Ginger. So much for healthy eating.

      I think Perkin’s must have a rule about having the biggest flag within 20 miles.

      As I used to try and remind Maddie, “her” porch is supposed to be an exit from my workshop. She claimed it when I put the first temporary floor on half of it. She would check to see that I cleared that porch, and her “rest areas.” One time, when I was in a hurry, I didn’t do the angled slots between the bushes. My wife told me, “you have more work to do out there.”

      I guess the next storm is going to wash this one away. Enjoy the white cover while it lasts.

      Like

      Reply
  8. quiall Avatar
    quiall

    I will admit to listening to other peoples’ conversations. I get some great stuff! Yours was brilliant. We had a little snow on Sunday but at least it didn’t stay. They are calling for another storm on Thursday and we may look like you are now. We seem to get pretty much the same weather you do. Oh well… March is coming…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      We are flirting with that next storm, Pam, but we seem to be on the rain side of the R/S line. I’d rather have the snow, but I’ll take whatever we get. I barely heard the guy ask for the bacon on the side, but everyone heard his wife’s correction. I hope you get through whatever falls your way.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  9. John W. Howell Avatar
    John W. Howell

    I love looking at your snow. I’m sure all the animals and birds love the seeds and nuts. What a great idea for everyone. That one-liner was classic. 😁 10 degrees? Not for this Southern transplant

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      It’s a little too early for 10 degrees, John. It caught me off guard. I walked today, it was 25 but with a stiff wind. That woman had us all laughing over the bacon.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. John W. Howell Avatar
        John W. Howell

        😁

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
  10. G. J. Jolly Avatar
    G. J. Jolly

    I was we were getting snow here. The rain hasn’t stopped since before dawn here and, according to the forecast, isn’t going to stop until last afternoon, if then. Is the cypress a tree or a bush? It looks like something I may like to have in my yard.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      We will likely get rain tomorrow and Friday. The cypress are trees. We got them from fastgrowingtrees.com to try and block the lights from the street behind us. They are growing nicely, but still a little too short for the job.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  11. Jan Sikes Avatar
    Jan Sikes

    Ha! Ha! I love your wife’s statement. :) Great photos, but they made me shiver, even inside my warm house.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      It’s always nice to get back inside where it’s warm.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  12. JoAnna Avatar
    JoAnna

    I might try that one liner for the onions which I give to my husband. Good job on the snow removal! I know the birds and squirrels are happy to see you.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      I get my wife’s onions as well. When the ground is covered, we like to keep some food out there for them.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  13. lois Avatar
    lois

    That one-liner is funny. I can well imagine everyone laughing at that!
    I wondered about the squirrels getting food–sure enough, there they were. We’re having some very heavy rain that started during the night and is supposed to last all day. I never see squirrels out in the rain down here.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      We rarely see them out in the rain. Sometimes, if it’s been raining a long time, they will venture out if it turns to a light drizzle for a while. They do come out in the snow.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  14. Darlene Avatar
    Darlene

    That’s funny. My hubby doesn’t eat salad. When a meal comes with a salad he tells the waiter he doesn’t want the salad. I always say, “Excuse me, he’s wrong. he does want the salad.” Then I eat it. Recently he looks at me and says, “Do I want the salad?” Your snowy pictures are lovely and remind me why I moved to Spain!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      That’s funny. I don’t eat the dinner salad at this place. It’s mixed greens and I don’t like those. I will text my wife and ask her if she wants me to bring it home. Otherwise, I’ll trade it for a bowl of soup. If the soup looks particularly good, I don’t ask ;-)

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  15. walkingoffthechessboard Avatar
    walkingoffthechessboard

    Kudos to the snow blower for re-locating the heavy wet snow. Those three words would send chills up my spine if we didn’t have our trusty snow blower. The first couple of winters after we made the investment we hardly had any snow, but my gosh the return on investment came quite quickly after that. A couple of neighbors are happy we have it as well. That’s great you still clear off Maddie’s porch locale. Made me smile. As for bacon, I want all the unwanted bacon there is.🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      I was so nervous the first year we moved here. We really couldn’t afford to buy the machine, but I couldn’t do it by hand. I was hoping we’d have enough snow to justify the purchase. We had 86″ that winter – I felt relieved.

      I used to clear sidewalks and driveways for a few neighbors. They have since passed away and now younger families own those houses. This was the first time I only had to clear my driveway and sidewalk.

      You’d have to fight that woman for the bacon ;-)

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
  16. Janis @ RetirementallyChallenged.com Avatar
    Janis @ RetirementallyChallenged.com

    Everyone knows that calories and sodium don’t count if they come from another person’s meal.

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      That;s a very good point, Janis!

      Like

      Reply
  17. John Hric Avatar
    John Hric

    Of late when we get snow it is often so wet that it gags the snow blower. Turns it into a clogged slushy machine. Last winter we had three heavy snows.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      Yep. That happened here on Monday. I look at the auger at looks like a roller.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  18. John Hric Avatar
    John Hric

    And the touch pad wins again. Mine does not toggle off. As for the Bacon Lady I am surprised she did not say “Don’t Boggart that bacon – put it on my salad.” And yes any soup beats salad hands down. If I am desperate for greens we can go to Olive Garden and get the Zuppa Toscana. It has kale in it. And unlimited refills. One of these days I am going to do all refills for dinner and take the main course home in a box. Happy Wednesday

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      Unlimited kale? That begs for a joke, John. I actually kinda like kale, but still.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  19. John Holton Avatar
    John Holton

    Sounds like a plan to me!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      :-)

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  20. Teagan Riordain Geneviene Avatar
    Teagan Riordain Geneviene

    Haha! A match made in heaven — if only he’d remember to give her the bacon.
    Glad you used your snow machine, Dan. That wet snow is the worst. Lately I’ve been had the random thought “Maybe I should move up to Santa Fe.” This is a good reminder of how grateful I am to be away from that much snow. Stay safe and warm. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      Even with the machine, Teagan, the heavy wet snow takes a lot of work to clear. It took me about two hours, but everything was good to go after that.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  21. AmyRose🌹 Avatar
    AmyRose🌹

    I can relate to the one liner today, Dan. My husband on our first date saw that I couldn’t finish what was on my plate to which I asked him if he wanted what I couldn’t eat. A home run for him! He knew right there he was going to marry me. Fyi …. that snow is coming our way.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      Couples complete each other in many ways. I’m sure you’re prepared for the snow, but be careful.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  22. tehachap Avatar
    tehachap

    My father used to hand feed the Jays that would show up in his back yard. He didn’t always watch what they did with the nuts (still in the shell-unsalted, raw) but eventually, his flower bed began springing up with these strange looking plants! Yep… the Jays were burying their nuts in the flower garden!!! LOL My dad had one old Jay that he nicknamed ‘Numb-nuts’ and then Numb Nuts started a family, and had a little male Jay–so my dad nicknamed him ‘Jr.’. Such fun…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      That’s funny. Maybe the blue jay was a farmer. I’ve only seen one that stayed in sight after taking a peanut. He wedged it in the notch of a tree and pecked it open. When I can, if I see them, I try to give them the broken ones. Squirrels won’t bury broken peanuts (they eat them immediately).

      Like

      Reply
  23. dweezer19 Avatar
    dweezer19

    Oh my gosh Dan. How quickly the landscape changes…
    Did you ask that man what planet he was from? Lol

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      The entire bar was laughing at the situation, Cheryl. I didn’t want to make matters worse.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. dweezer19 Avatar
        dweezer19

        I would have asked if I could be put on a standby list! 😂

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
        1. Dan Antion Avatar
          Dan Antion

          Haha – if the wife hadn’t made the call, you could have had it.

          Like

          Reply
          1. dweezer19 Avatar
            dweezer19

            😋

            Liked by 1 person

            Reply
  24. jessicasblog45 Avatar
    jessicasblog45

    pretty snow.

    Like

    Reply
  25. marianallen Avatar
    marianallen

    Great one-liner! I like the way that woman thinks. :D

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      She had the whole bar laughing.

      Like

      Reply
  26. Jennie Avatar
    Jennie

    How funny!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Dan Antion Avatar
      Dan Antion

      🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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